• Member Since 15th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 29th, 2018

YetAnotherBrony


T

The hardest part of friendship is watching as those we care about make choices that harm them. Is there any helping those who don't appear to be helping themselves, or is that just an excuse ponies make to do nothing?

Fluttershy doesn't know, but she only has a day to figure it out. Good thing she has the princess of friendship to help her.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

The first half was good. The part with Twilight started to feel a bit preachy, and the part after the dream definitely felt preachy. Still a good story though.

5534722 I sure appreciate the feedback, and the compliment.

I'm not sure I understand what your saying though. If I posted either Twilight's remarks, or the dream in isolation I could sort of see it, but in context, I don't.

The dream ultimately motivates Fluttershy to do the wrong thing (not to say doing nothing was the wrong choice but it came from a place of selfishness) so I'm not sure it can be preachy.

Further Fluttershy gives a pretty good rebuttal to Twilight's remarks. So this feels more like examining both sides of the issue than preaching to me. Especially since Twilight's point of view changes over the course of the conversation from being against it to, not knowing what to do.

5535864

I understand that the conversation with Twilight was supposed to be an examination of sorts, almost like a Plato-Socrates dialogue. The writing here just didn't feel as involved as the earlier scene with Ray.

I also understand that the dream is the motivation for Fluttershy's choice. The last three paragraphs however sound more telly and distanced and less involved.

5536065 Thanks for the clarification. I understand this much better than your previous comment.

Login or register to comment