This is the story about Jake, just another normal brony.
One day Jake falls trough a portal and find himself in the middle of the Rainbow Factory.
DISCLAIMER: The concept of this story is not mine, I asked if I could do a rewrite and post it here, the answer was yes.
Original story: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/3814/The-Human-Chronicles%3A-The-human-in-the-Rainbow-Factory
NOTE: I just want people to know that a serious rework/rewrite of this part is on it's way, but it WILL take time as I am in the middle of my exams etcetera etcetera and so on.
Chapters (1)
I'd LOVE to get some feedback everypony!
Oh, yay! Let's read it!
539313 I think it has potential. It could be a great story, you just need to keep at it, and don't let and of the dislikers get you down.
539593 Actually the story in it self belongs to thatguyfromkfc but he gave me permission to rewrite it.
But thanks anyway.
Oh, and do you have any tips on how I could improve the text?
539611
Honestly, I'm not the one to ask for advice. I failed honours English in 5th year, barely passed Pass English for the leaving cert. But my mom is suggesting I take creative writing classes, so maybe after I do a few of those I'll be able to give some tips. Till then, sorry I couldn't be of much help
539614
Indeed
eu5.memecdn.com/have-u-ever-been-so-angry-that_o_299950.gif
meh... I'll track it...
To all the dislikers.
Could you please take a minute or two and give some feedback, tell me what you don't like about the story, where and what I can improve, and by doing so, helping me to get better at writing.
Sincerely, Somestrangeguy.
LOL BBB thiunks that he thought it was SO WORTH IT!
too bad he killed scootaloo i would have tried to kill doctor atmosphere as well!
RIP Scootaloo
When will you write the rest of this fic? This sounds interesting!
Now i'm angry !! *transform into Legendary super saiyan*
Broly: You Dr.Athmosphare i chouse to be my first of my victims *points at him*
(sry i had to xD)
LETS START A RIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
