Nightmare moon is stuck. She was banished to the moon about 300 years ago and is just regaining her magic. One day she is floating through the dream scape and makes a startling discovery, the secret to her escape.
This is my first ever fic. Please feel free to point out any spelling or grammatical errors. I know it's really short I'm not a good writer kay?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Silver.
Its.
Space between the comma and but.
Rephrase or delete this, since it's too similar to the preceding sentence.
Capitalise Forest, since it's also part of the place name.
Spirit.
Soul.
Curious.
Starswirl.
In prose, numbers should be written as words.
This isn't the only example of ropey dialogue, but it's one that stuck out in my mind.
Lost.
Encourage.
Thousandth.
Uh, 'kay ...
You are badly in need of the services of a proofreader; also, while it's not mandatory, it is ENCOURAGED that you try to hit 1,000 words per chapter. There are good reasons for this, chief among them being it's pretty much the minimum amount of space you need to develop a reasonable one-shot idea. There's the seed of a good idea in here, but it's being buried under poor grammar, terrible dialogue, and horrible punctuation. Like I say, though, with the help of a proofreader you could get better.
Good luck.
5481299
Thank you for your corrections I will fix them as soon as possible.
i really like this story hope to read more soon
5509300
Though I don't know if will will be writing anymore any time soon.
Thank you!
5511767 oh
okay thank you forbletting me know
I really like this story hope to read more soon
Sorry for bugging you bit I was woundering when you might be possting the next chapter to the story? Its just there hasn't been an update since Aprile which is a really long time so that is way I'm asking. I'm sorry if sound mean I don't want to sound mean if I do sound mwan I'm sorry
6695307
I just sorta lost intrest in the story for a while. When winter break starts I'll see if I can continue.
Yeah sorry
6698112 okay that is good to know and I understand.