Dash, N, Do

Basically about dashies perspective of life, mostly about when she meets daring do with (Me) ScarHoof

So just know when I say "I" I mean I as in dash.

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 8 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 8
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Manes

Manes #1 · Dec 7th, 2014 · 3 · · The Adventure Begins ·

"Good, You woke up" :3 "Lets go check your mail to see if the book is there"

"Good, You woke up" :3

:3

You need an editor. Dash breaks the fourth wall and talks to the readers. Self insert Mary sue OC. Rainbow Dash is out of character. I expected her to insult how he lives or acts, instead she just talk to him and agrees with everything he says, no fighting back. You need built up, everything is happening too fast I'm left confused. She flies to his house, there for a couple seconds and suddenly she sleeps with him. One thing goes through my mind at that moment: Rape time :3!

So yeah editor, read well written fics and then come back to this.

ScarHoof

ScarHoof #2 · Dec 7th, 2014 · · 1 · The Adventure Begins ·

5352743 Have you read the backstory? My OC and dash have been friends since the first day of flight school/ her sonic rainboom, Plus that was my OC that broke the fourth wall and said good your up. Plus she slept in the guest room while My OC slept in his room. This is my second Fan Fic So please give me a chance. Plus the ":3" Face means Just the face that my OC made while speaking.

also the fact that she doesent fight is because my OC is dating le dash, plus i'm not good with other characters perspective stories. No rape none of that, my stories are clean.

ScarHoof

ScarHoof #3 · Dec 7th, 2014 · · · The Adventure Begins ·

Regis-Th3-Lesser

Regis-Th3-Lesser #4 · Dec 7th, 2014 · 2 · · The Adventure Begins ·

This story is very rushed honestly I had to scroll back and forth just to get a grasp at what's going on, and another thing I know once your story is approved you can do whatever you please with it at least try to keep it above 1000 words. I've written essay response answers longer than your chapters

ScarHoof

ScarHoof #5 · Dec 7th, 2014 · · · The Adventure Begins ·

5353241 The fact that Im 11 and brand new here, please stop hating on my slight grammer errors I did tell you that I was tired and I do weird things when I'm tired. >:/

thechicken95