Sonata, Sweetie Belle, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash all made it to their separate first period classes at Canterlot High School with only seconds to spare. Sonata sauntered confidently into her homeroom, clutching her books to her chest. Ms. Raven’s eyes, and the eyes of nearly every student in the class followed Sonata Dusk as she smoothed her skirt and settled into Sunset Shimmer’s normal seat, seemingly oblivious to the attention. The morning bell rang loudly, returning the class to its normal routine.
Vice-Principal Luna went through an unremarkable set of announcements over the school’s public address system, as Ms. Raven began to write on the whiteboard, outlining the day’s lesson. In ten-inch-tall letters, the name “William Shakespeare” took shape and a long list of titles began to fill the rest of the whiteboard. As Luna cheerfully concluded her announcements, Ms. Raven sipped her mug of coffee and began to teach.
“Today, ladies and gentlemen, we begin a high school literature rite of passage. For the next three weeks, we will be studying the Bard himself, William Shakespeare!” Ms. Raven announced grandly.
The class groaned. Sonata Dusk was cheerfully smiling, doodling in the margins of the plain notebook that Sweetie Belle had pressed into her hands. Ms. Raven handed out thick books containing several plays and to get them in the mood, she insisted that the work their way through the Third Act of Hamlet. Noticing Sonata’s inattention, Ms. Raven smirked and assigned her the role of Ophelia to the giggles of the entire class.
Sonata’s ecstatic reaction took the entire class by surprise, “I love this one! Thanks, Ms. Raven!”
Raven frowned and mingled confusion and annoyance clouded her eyes for a moment before she continued guiding her reluctant students through the text. She said, “Principal Celestia has taken pity on you and directed me to use modern language instead of the original version. I think Shakespeare is better the old way, but maybe you’ll understand it better than last year’s class,” she finished with a sigh.
Humming softly to herself, Sonata absently stood during the first scene, strode to the front of the classroom and delivered Ophelia’s soliloquy expressing sadness that Hamlet is apparently losing his mind. Unlike any of the other hesitant cast members, who remained in their seats struggling with the difficult text, Sonata delivered her lines with practiced force and emotion. For a moment, she wasn’t pretending to be Ophelia. She was Ophelia:
Oh, how noble his mind used to be, and how lost he is now!
He used to have a gentleman’s grace, a scholar’s wit, and a soldier’s strength.
He used to be the jewel of our country, the obvious heir to the throne, the one everyone admired and imitated.
And now he has fallen so low!
And of all the miserable women who once enjoyed hearing his sweet, seductive words, I am the most miserable.
A mind that used to sing so sweetly is now completely out of tune, making harsh sounds instead of fine notes.
The unparalleled appearance and nobility he had in the full bloom of his youth has been ruined by madness.
O, how miserable I am to see Hamlet now and know what he was before!
The class burst into spontaneous applause, a score of jaws hanging open in awe at Sonata’s brief unrehearsed performance. As soon as she finished speaking, the poised mask evaporated from the blue-skinned girl’s face. A distracted, sweetly smiling Sonata Dusk calmly walked back to Sunset Shimmer’s seat and resumed drawing hearts, stars, and musical notes on her blank notebook page.
Flash Sentry leaned over and whispered, “Hey, Sonata? That was amazing! Where did you learn to do that?”
Sonata basked in the male attention. She flipped her ponytail with her hand and replied, with half-lidded lilac eyes, “Why, Trottingham, of course! Where else?” She pointedly ignored the boy, apparently concentrating on her artwork with a tiny smile on her lips.
Flash, sputtering for multiple reasons, had no coherent reply. He proceeded to butcher Horatio’s lines for the remainder of the class.
Mercifully, the bell rang after forty-five long minutes, allowing the students to escape. Flash Sentry practically sprinted for the door.
After the bell stopped its racket, Ms. Raven asked loudly, “Sonata, could I have a word with you, please?”
Sonata didn’t answer, but walked straight to the desk at the front of the room.
Ms. Raven enthusiastically said, “That was an incredible performance! You must have performed Shakespeare at your last school.”
For some reason, Sonata felt wary. Her spine tingled and itched. She couldn’t quite put her fingers on why she wanted to get away from Ms. Raven as quickly as possible. Sonata decided that the Big Macintosh approach would work best here.
“Nope,” she replied.
“But, you’ve performed this play before, right?”
“Yep,” Sonata replied.
Clenching her jaw and adjusting the bun holding her long black hair, Raven tamped down her rising anger. She shifted subjects and said, “Listen, Sonata. I have more important things I need to discuss with you. I’m so glad to see that you’re making new friends here at Canterlot High so soon after the, um, unfortunate events of the past week. But, I need to pass on that your friend of many years, Adagio Dazzle, is very worried about you.”
Still in Big Mac mode and hiding her agitation, Sonata wisely kept her mouth shut. She only raised a blue eyebrow at the revelation.
“Don’t worry. Adagio is safe and quite comfortable. I’ve seen to that personally.” The dark-haired teacher smiled at Sonata Dusk. Ms. Raven continued, handing her a card, “But she’d like to see you and talk a few things out. When you’re ready, just call this number, all right?”
“Thank you, Ms. Raven. I will pick the right time to visit. Please trust me on that,” Sonata replied with an innocent smile. She turned on a heel and glided out of the classroom, letting her shoulders slump in relief as soon as she passed out of Ms. Raven’s sight.
As Sonata left, Raven clenched her fists in frustration, her skin becoming several shades more pale for a moment. As the next set of students began to arrive, Raven mumbled angrily through gritted teeth, “How does Adagio stand her?”
----
Sonata Dusk stepped through the doors of the Canterlot High School library. Aside from the gymnasium, it was the largest room in the school, consisting of two floors of bookshelves and a sizable contingent of computers. Windows high up on the walls let in copious amounts of natural light that illuminated volumes of every shape, size, and subject. Sonata ignored the books, and walked straight to the small desk near the computer center. The simple office chair, along with the rest of the library, was empty. A wooden nameplate, emblazoned with a daisy, declared the desk’s owner to be “Cheerilee.”
Sonata stealthily stepped behind the desk and gave the chair a lazy spin with a blue-tinted index finger. With narrowed eyes, she shrewdly appraised the objects on the desk. Most were practical or aesthetically decorative, such as a pencil sharpener shaped like an apple, a ceramic desk organizer resembling an open book, and a small vase that contained fresh flowers. None of these items interested Sonata. Instead she peered intently at the two picture frames to the right of a computer monitor.
The chair halted its gyration by bumping against Sonata’s leg as she stepped forward. Both pictures were of Cheerilee and Big Macintosh. The pretty young woman, with curly two-toned purple hair falling past her shoulders was smiling happily at Applejack’s brother, her lavender-hued hand entwined in Big Macintosh’s larger red-tinted fingers. The two were running through an avalanche of autumn leaves falling at Sweet Apple Acres. The second picture, framed in plastic snowflakes and icicles, showed the two of them affectionately standing together in a posed picture, wearing formal wear. The young farmer had his hand comfortably on the librarian’s waist. Cheerilee was radiant in a floor length, clinging green gown. Sonata stared at Big Macintosh, who was dignified and resplendent in a black tuxedo.
Sonata was smitten. He’s gorgeous and so strong. He will give me what I’ve wanted for so long.
“Oh, my prince…” Sonata whispered greedily to herself, reaching out to touch the picture.
“May I help you?” announced a friendly voice.
Sonata, knowing that she had nearly been caught with her hand in the apple barrel, moved her hand toward the desk organizer and grabbed a pen.
Turning slowly toward the voice, she smiled and said innocently, “Oh, hi, Miss Cheerilee! I was about to leave you a note. I was trying to find some music history books.”
A purple eyebrow arched questioningly. “Do I know you?” she asked.
Sonata quickly sized up the woman in the pictures, mind calculating while she kept a pleasant facial expression. Instinct took over as she came to a hasty set of mental conclusions: She’s pretty, but not beautiful. I’m taller and stronger than she is. She’s intelligent, but without guile. Noticing crayon-drawn pictures on the edge of her desk, Sonata made her final conclusion: She has a weakness because she’s fond of children.
“Oh, I’m Sonata. I’m a new student here,” she replied.
“It’s just that I’ve been on vacation for the past week and a half. I’m surprised that you knew my name.”
Sonata pointed to the nameplate and smiled sweetly. “I just made a lucky guess,” she squeaked, imitating Sweetie Belle.
Cheerilee returned the smile and waved Sonata forward. She directed, “Come on, follow me.”
The student obediently followed the teacher to a distant corner of the library. Cheerilee waved her arm at the shelf and said, “Here we are! I hope you can find what you’re looking for.”
Sonata said sharply, “Wait! I have a quick question.”
“What is it, dear?” Cheerilee patiently asked.
“I was admiring the pictures on your desk. Who is that handsome man you’re with?” she inquired with a breathy voice.
“Oh, that’s my boyfriend,” Cheerilee replied, with a happy faraway look in the general direction of the ceiling.
“What’s he like?”
“Honest, strong, and hard-working,”
Absently selecting a couple of books, Sonata breezily continued her interrogation, asking “So, how long have you been seeing each other?”
“Oh, we’ve been together for a few months, now. He was two years behind me here at CHS. I went away to college and when I came back, Big Macintosh was all grown up. We still probably wouldn’t have gotten together unless…” she trailed off, shaking her head.
Sonata’s blue lips pressed together and her eyes narrowed. “Just how serious are you two?” she asked impertinently.
Cheerilee became suspicious, replying, “I think that question is a little too personal for a student to be asking a teacher.”
Sonata opened her mouth to deliver a stinging reply. Before she could speak, a pink blur knocked her to the ground.
“THERE YOU ARE!" Pinkie Pie shouted. “You’re missing history class! Now I’m missing history class. Let’s go!”
“Shhhh!” demanded Cheerilee.
“But nobody’s in here, Ms. Cheerilee. Why do we need to be quiet if the place is empty?”
“Because I prefer it quiet, Pinkie Pie, and because those are the rules!” ordered the librarian. Turning to Sonata she said, “I see you’ve made some selections. Would you like to check them out?” Cheerilee examined Sonata’s blank, smiling face, wondering why she felt so uneasy.
“Yes, please,” replied Sonata cheerfully. She adopted a schoolgirl pose, clasping her hands in front of her, below her waist.
“Oooh, what did you get?” asked Pinkie Pie, prying at Sonata’s fingers to read the cover of the topmost book.
Cheerilee answered for her, “It appears she went classical. You have a book with Beethoven, some Handel, and some Mozart. All three of these have music discs, too. Where’s your library card?”
Sonata fumbled in her bag. She asked nervously, “Um, Pinkie, could you help me out? I seem to be missing my card.”
“Okiedokielokie!” the cheerful girl cried, checking out the books for her friend.
As the two girls left the library, Sonata looked back over her shoulder and waved. She said, “Thank you very much, Ms. Cheerilee. I hope to talk to you again, soon!”
-----
Later, the diminished group of friends gathered at their usual cafeteria table to enjoy lunch. The group of five, consisting of Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Sonata Dusk, left one of the six seats empty. Between bites, the five of them traded stories about their rescue of Aria Blaze the night before.
“I just knew something was wrong!” cried Pinkie Pie, waving her hands in the air.
“How’s that?” asked Sonata innocently.
Applejack rolled her eyes, “Now you’ve done it,” she groaned.
“I have a Pinkie Sense! When I get a chill right in the middle of my back,” she explained, “it means that something bad is going to happen. And this one was a doozie!” Pinkie’s antics looked almost like a seizure, but nobody was concerned, except possibly Sonata. Pinkie Pie was simply Pinkie Pie and nearly all of CHS accepted it as fact.
“I’m just so glad that Sunset Shimmer took charge the way she did. She was simply divine,” said Rarity admiringly.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged a conspiratorial look. Rainbow Dash’s smirk widened as she asked, “When did you become such a big fan?
“Rainbow Dash, whatever are you talking about?” replied Rarity, suppressing a blush as best she could.
She brushed a multicolored forelock out of her eyes, “Okay. Sure. By the way, when’s the last time you had us over for a sleepover and you busted out the expensive dresses?”
Rarity sputtered, her blush deepening.
Rainbow Dash pressed her advantage with a smug grin, declaring, “Let me see… that would be… NEVER!"
Sonata leaned across the table and came to Rarity’s rescue by asking, “Applejack, could I help you at the farm this afternoon?”
“Of course, sugar cube! You did such a great job last time. If you like, you can even spend the night with us again. Would you like that?” replied Applejack, smiling.
She nodded vigorously, blue hair flying, “Very much so! Thank you!”
“All right, then! I’ll meet you out by the statue after school,” she said, repositioning her ever-present hat.
------
Fluttershy parked the battered old van in front of the dingy apartment building.
“Here we are!” the pink-haired girl said cheerfully.
Fluttershy’s van was alternatingly a mark of pride and a badge of shame to the six friends. Lime green in color, the vehicle was at least forty years old. The interior had thick beige shag carpeting that had absorbed the odors of numerous stray animals. When the vehicle functioned, its owner would drive anywhere, for any reason, with no questions asked. Sadly, the van appeared to be nearing the end of its long life, with Sunset Shimmer and Fluttershy collaborating on increasingly difficult repairs.
Sunset Shimmer continued to be surprised by Fluttershy’s depth and resilience. While often terrified of her own shadow, Sunset had seen her bring puppies into the world and respectfully lay ancient pets to rest. Fluttershy was indefatigably kind, even when covered in oil, blood, and the less identifiable bodily fluids of her patients.
“You live here?” Aria asked suspiciously, eyeing the suspect neighborhood.
“Not really, not anymore,” Sunset Shimmer replied, “but I haven’t figured out where else to go. Besides, I’m really good at occupying guest rooms and couches.”
“There’s always a spot for you at the cottage, Sunny,” said Fluttershy with a wink.
“Your rabbit doesn’t like me, Fluttershy. I swear, that bunny is going to smother me in my sleep one night.”
Aria shook her head, mouth open in disbelief. She looked as if her brain had turned to jelly and had started to ooze out of her ears. She cried, “What are you talking about? Let’s get Sunset’s stuff and go somewhere else. Something here gives me the creeps.”
“Okay, let’s go,” Sunset replied.
The three girls climbed the filthy flights of concrete stairs and entered a fourth-floor passageway. Sunset Shimmer produced a keychain.
Smiling, she announced, “Okay, here it is! The maid’s been on vacation for the past couple months, so don’t mind the mess.”
Sunset turned the key and said, “Come on in! Home, sweet….”
“Oh my!” squeaked Fluttershy, bumping into Sunset Shimmer’s back.
Aria Blaze frowned and clenched her fists.
Sunset Shimmer’s tiny efficiency apartment was usually a mess, but it had been obviously ransacked, with drawers emptied onto the bed and belongings scattered everywhere, except for one place. The kitchenette was clean and orderly, with a freshly washed pot and spoon in the drying rack. Sitting in the sink was a large metal box, false bottom askew, with two items in it.
The first item was a jewel-shaped belt buckle. Light orange in color and made of semiprecious stones, its origin was obvious to all three girls.
“Adagio,” said Aria, her voice dripping with venom.
The second item was a folded piece of notebook paper.
Sunset Shimmer was near tears, her hand shaking as she reached for the paper. Sniffing loudly, she opened it, for all three of them to read together. As they read, Fluttershy wrapped her arms protectively around her friend and Aria clenched her fists and gritted her teeth.
Welcome home, Sunset Shimmer! It’s a pity that you weren’t putting your resources to good use. Fortunately, for me, I’ve relieved you of that burden. It would be dreadful if your good friends learned about what you’ve been keeping from them for so long. I know you don’t want that to happen, so I’ll contact you soon to set up a trade.
You really should consider going home, before this matter becomes truly unpleasant. Your view of the throne room is really quite spectacular. How did you manage that? We really must talk…
Adagio Dazzle
Stapled to the bottom of the note were two pictures.
The first was a slightly younger and significantly crueler-looking Sunset Shimmer sliding a box full of small vials across a table to a dangerous-looking man in a dark suit. Also on the table was a briefcase full of cash, obviously payment for the vials.
The second picture was the same younger Sunset Shimmer dressed in a scandalous miniskirt and plunging top, passionately kissing an athletic man with a brown mustache who wore a flowered shirt and blue jeans. Fluttershy recognized the man as Rarity’s much older and very married father.
Sunset Shimmer slumped to her knees on the cheap linoleum floor, sobbing and inconsolable.
Fluttershy took the pictures from the floor and looked at them closely. Her dark teal eyes widened in shock and a pale yellow hand went to her mouth, "Ohhhhhh.... Oh, my!" she exclaimed, "Sunset Shimmer, what is this?"
It took some time for her response to become coherent between sobs, "I sold powdered Mare's Bridle flowers to those guys. They're my favorite snack in Equestria. When I came through the portal, I learned they make humans very, very happy for a time."
"So, they're drugs?" asked Aria bluntly.
"No!" Sunset screamed, "They're not addictive. They act more like an antidepressant than a narcotic or opiate. At any rate, they're all gone, and those guys know not to bother me again."
Satisfied with the first explanation, Fluttershy frowned when she asked, "What about this, then?" She held up the picture of Sunset Shimmer and Rarity's father.
Her sobs turned soundless and Sunset Shimmer squeezed her blue-green eyes shut. She wiped her streaming nose on her leather jacket. She started to speak to Fluttershy three times before finally explaining, "Nothing more than the kiss ever happened. I swear this to you by Celestia's horn! He is wealthy and has a reputation for a wandering eye. I had the kiss photographed to blackmail him for an inappropriate relationship with a high school student. Even though I'm really twenty years old, nobody knows that here." Sunset shimmer wailed, "Oh, Rarity, I'm so sorry!"
Aria folded her arms across her chest and asked neutrally, "How much did you get?"
Sunset looked up at the imposing Siren and replied meekly, "Twenty-five thousand dollars."
Fluttershy, sad and stern, said, "What did you do with it?"
"Fluttershy, I bought the last items I needed to finish the fake Element of Magic and to bribe the jeweler to let me use his facility," she replied.
"Then something good came of it. Without that crown, we would never have become friends," Fluttershy said, hugging a devastated Sunset Shimmer.
The three held onto each other wordlessly for a long time. Fluttershy comfortingly stroked her friend’s red-and-gold streaked hair.
Gently reaching out to touch Sunset Shimmer’s cheek, Fluttershy said, “Sunny, I know this must be a big problem. I don’t understand how big it is yet, but we love you for who you are, and I forgive you for who you were.”
Aria stood and handed Sunset Shimmer a paper towel. Loudly blowing her nose and wiping her eyes, Sunset moaned, “She took everything, Flutters! She stole the money, the gold, the cell phones, the blackmail pictures, my notes, the payment ledger, the storage chips, and the Equestrian gemstones!” And, the compact... I can't tell them about the compact yet, she thought.
Aria knelt down again and looked Sunset in the eyes, “So?”
Giving Fluttershy’s hand a squeeze, she finished, “That’s enough evidence to send me to jail for a long time.”
Aria, with a fierce look, continued, “But she won’t! Adagio is trying to divide you – no, divide us - by forcing you to run away. Then, she can take her revenge on one Rainboom at a time. It’s her way, and I won’t let it happen again.”
“But, Adagio now knows all the evil things I’ve done. I betrayed my friends before I ever knew them! I plotted to take over this city and then Equestria!” Sunset cried.
“Damn it, Sunset!” Aria swore. “You’re the key to all of this! Fluttershy and I and all of us have to protect you. The Master is stirring, and you must be the one to stop Adagio. One friend forgives you. The others will, too. I have to believe that. You have to believe that too, or all of your struggles are for nothing,” Aria finished defiantly, her violet eyes flashing with anger at Adagio and affection for Sunset Shimmer.
“I know someone else who can help. She was the first one to forgive you,” said Fluttershy, retrieving the Equestrian tome from Sunset Shimmer’s discarded bag.
“Thank you both. But, the others are going to be harder to convince. You have no idea of all the other things I did to get the resources I needed to make that fake crown,” Sunset said, slowly regaining her composure.
Fluttershy knelt on the floor again, staring intently into Sunset Shimmer’s aqua eyes. She put her will into every soft word she said, “What matters is what’s in here now,” she tapped the orange shirt over the other girl’s heart, “not what was in that box.”
Sunset Shimmer felt her will seeping away into Fluttershy's dark teal irises. The stare put an end to Sunset Shimmer’s crying. Unusually calm, affected by Fluttershy’s words, she took the book from the other girl’s pale yellow hands. Still sitting on the dirty linoleum, she opened it to the latest entry:
Dear Sunset Shimmer:
Thank you for the picture! The three of you look so beautiful and so happy. That must have been a wonderful night. I certainly needed that smile after a difficult day here in Ponyville. And, sending the picture through the book is an innovative use of its magic. Why didn’t I think of that?
The handwriting changed subtly, becoming more angular.
I’m glad you wrote again and even happier that Aria is all right. I won’t mince words, as my checklist is long and time is short. Your second letter set events in motion here in Equestria. When you told me about your healing spell, I sent a dispatch to Princess Celestia. Just before dawn, Princess Luna arrived unannounced with several books and a pile of objects from Canterlot. I was about to activate the portal and come to help you, but Luna was insistent that I not put myself at risk. Her words of warning gave me chills:
“Twilight Sparkle, you are the star around which two worlds revolve. If you perish in that world, or worse, fall to the shadow, all is lost across the myriad of realities of which you are only beginning to learn. You are a Princess of Equestria. Only enter the battlefield yourself in the direst of circumstances. In the days and years to come, you will make many choices that will determine your destiny and that of those you love. This is but a first step into that broader world. You must choose a champion that can help Sunset Shimmer prevent the return of evil even more dangerous than the Sirens. Do not pass through the portal yourself until this threat is defeated.”
Sunset, what are you up against? I talked things over with my friends today to decide how best to help you. Actually, Fluttershy convinced me that this is the right thing to do, though I still have my doubts. We are still gathering supplies and safeguarding them against transformation, but I will open the portal tomorrow at dawn to allow one rather unique individual to pass through.
He made his case for me to send him to you by demanding an opportunity to atone for his past crimes. Be patient with him, Sunset Shimmer. He has the knowledge and the magic I think you need, but he can be annoying, prideful, and unpredictable.
Yours in friendship,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. To address your personal question about Rarity, I have attached a photograph of my castle’s throne room. That will help you understand my point of view, but you have to make your own choices. Please forgive Princess Luna, but she insisted upon being in the picture for some reason.
Sunset Shimmer looked at Fluttershy and Aria, weakly smiled, and said, “She’s sending us help! Aria, maybe this mystery pony will help us forge your weapon.” She profusely thanked Fluttershy and the two girls continued to embrace one another. Sunset Shimmer’s tears began to flow again, slowly transforming from despair to hope.
Aria reached into the book and pulled the photograph free. Examining it closely, she saw seven thrones at the edge of a large circle with an asymmetrical eight-pointed star decorating the center of the floor. The six larger thrones were evenly spaced and each was decorated with a different symbol. Only one throne had a smaller one next to it, perhaps for a diminutive aide. None of the other five were larger or more ornate than the others. They were exactly the same. But, what demanded Aria’s attention was the majestic figure standing atop the eight-pointed star.
With wings extended, a dusky gray-and-blue alicorn with an ebony crown stared defiantly and directly into the camera’s lens. Her midnight blue mane and tail flowed across the room with flecks of stars twinkling in their depths. Upon her flank was a white crescent moon upon a field of black. The same symbol was duplicated in an ebony necklace around her muscled neck. But, what Aria noticed most were the sea-green eyes, with the merest hint of blue. They were the same eyes of the mysterious figure in her dream.
Aria Blaze whispered to the picture, "My Lady, how may I serve you?”
*****
Quote from William Shakespeare's Hamlet - Act 3, Scene 1 obtained from No Fear Shakespeare at http://nfs.sparknotes.com/hamlet/page_146.html)
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Thank you, my friends. Chapters Six and Seven are now posted - and FancyFan, stick around at least until Chapter Three. That's when I felt like I hit my stride.
Hello, Discord! At least, that's my guess, but I'm pretty confident in it.
Yep, the story is truly starting with these two chapters... or one, depending on how you look at it.
That sounds like Discord, but I'm probably wrong.
Hmm...I think I know who's coming through that portal, but I won't say in case I'm wrong. But if it's who I think it is, this shall be a unique paring.
5258898 Yeah okay that's my guess
5258972 No, I change! It's Donut Joe! Just kidding, it sounds like Discord.
5259028 lol...Yes Donut Joe, he is quiet wise in the ways of magic..."The Magic of Donut making."
5258811 wrote : "But hey, the writing seems solid, and your pretty muchthe only person ive seen even adress the "Sunset is now an element?" thing. So i'll at least stick around for another couple of chapters."
Actually it's addressed here as well http://www.fimfiction.net/story/221057/pony-pov-possible-futures-in-sunset-we-trust
Discord?! All of my yes, please.
Also, I think I know what's going on now.
And it is delicious.
I eagerly await the conflicts that lie ahead.
Oh, by the way:
I believe that should be "male's attention", as it's a singular possessive.
Just the one mistake. Other than that, I didn't spot anything. Keep up the good work!
5259138 I will certainly read that story, obviously these groupings interest me.
5258927 Thanks, and I hope that the execution is living up to the setup... keep me honest as you already have, please. All right?
5259036 and 5259028 You guys are cracking me up. Therefore, I bow before your superior wit and offer what little I can... a sneak peek:
5259201 Thank you very much, my friend. I'm glad that my latest twist is Serena-approved. I eagerly await the premiere of your story when the time comes!
Okay, now you've got me hooked. These two chapters were a pleasant surprise indeed dear girl and I hope to see much more of this glorious story to come!
5259317 Pssst.... Rikki... I'm a guy, but I'll still say thanks for the compliment on the story! I'm glad you're hooked!
Still loving it! Keep up the excellent work!
Oh god... let the trolling begin with our very evident upcoming visitor! Wonder if human Discord(or his human disguise if he remains unchanged when he passes through will just look like John De Lancie.
Very touching moment earlier, with bits of Sunset's darker side in the past. Adagio is very, very similar to the kind of person Sunset used to be, so Sunset may be able to figure out how to stop her.
Yikes, He Who Swims In Darkness is returning? I'd say Equestria "ain't seen nothing yet!"
5260263 Okay. Just curious!
5260213 Let us hope that he looks EXACTLY like Q :D It would be only logical
5260213 Let us hope that he looks EXACTLY like Q :D It would be only logical
Nice double update.
Great chapters and realy good story twisting.
I hope Sonata won't do anything to regret later. I like the nice Sonata.
Aria the knight. Good one.
And finaly Discord is coming.
Calling it now: Aria will be Sunset's Champion/Paladin.
I work all day and return to a flurry of comments. Wow! Thanks everyone!
5259853 Yes, the Aria's Dream Lady can safely be confirmed as Princess Luna.
5259945 5261388 5260318 5260213 I appreciate the compliments and speculation. The development of Aria took on a life of its own during the past two weeks, and I hope you're pleased with the direction it's headed. I love good Sonata, too - but the question is: Will she stay good? Stay tuned to find out...
Discord is going to be fun and very tough to write... that initial description will be important, I know. I'll do my very best to do justice to this incredible character.
Shadejak - your comment is right on the money and I pulled the children's book to double check. Expect a subtle edit to Sunset Shimmer's history lesson summary in Chapter Six the next time I dig in. As always, I appreciate your pleasantly drawing my attention to the minor errors I make.
5261164 I continue to appreciate your faithful following and intelligent comments. Any further comments would go into spoilerville, so I'll just smile and be grateful that you are offering your predictions. Be patient, please, all right?
OMG these two chapters where good and I can see why you upped the rating to Teen can't wait for chapter 8
Is it sad that my first thought was Kyoko's witch from Madoka Magica?
As you could tell by my initial reaction, I have little knowledge of Hamlet, so I turned to Wikipedia. And wow, a good parallel, yet I'm a bit worried for my Sonata baby!
The Cheerilee scene!
She's a poet!
I keep trying to read 'guile' in the "jealous teenager" tone and keep failing splendidly.
The only substantial thing I have to say about the Cheerilee scene is this: For someone of the opposite gender and different age demographic, you sure know how to write petty teenage envy.
I wonder if any of your readers are still holding out for Rarijack or Sunlight after this.
The truth! It's hurting my sides!
Alright, now the heavy part: the last scene. And sweet Celestia, if my hand could travel across the continent, I'd give you a high-five right now. What an elegant rewrite on such short notice! I hope my comments didn't throw you off-track too much. Ironically, considering I compared your first draft to the Luna's office scene in EQG, I was initially worried that this scene would still come across like the EQG one: a pointless conflict resolved too quickly. However, I don't think that's the case at all. Aria and Fluttershy's acceptance strengthen the bond of their friendship, and Adagio thinking otherwise shows just how much she doesn't understand about friendship. Glad the compact's a mystery though; always good to have some underlying internal conflict.
Once again, I'll talk to you about my editing in a PM.
Discord! Discord, Discord, Discord! You have half of my OTP, so I'll forgive you.
Great work all around! I told you this morning, but I'm still hyped for Chapter 8!
It's Discord, no doubt.
5267494 I appreciate the kindness and patience that you expressed in your PM. Now, you know more than everyone else... but I'm glad that I got at least a couple of things right with the characters! My guesses come from the realities of being surrounded by several hundred 18 to 25 year-olds on a daily basis. Inaccurate? Of course. Close enough... you and everyone else are the judges!
In this phase, I decided to give Rarity half the drama and double the mystique she has in Equestria. Well, at least for now. During this chapter, I envisioned Rarity talking to herself in the mirror, planning her next move. That would be something along the lines of, "You must do something to make her pursue you, but nothing too forward. You are a lady, after all! But what action shall I choose?" (and so on)
5267508 "Guile" isn't a word that the Sonata I like would use. It's a word that the Sonata I fear would use. I'm so glad I had a couple of my jokes actually hit the target for once! I want to go back and put a bookmark in the Prologue that tells new readers to hang in there, because it gets better. And, thanks for the high-five. Your advice was exactly what I needed.
5264201 and 5267561 Thank you for the kind comments and for checking in. The way it's mapped out, Chapter 8 may end up being Chapters 8, 9, and 10! Yikes! And, 5264271 , there's a human Twilight? I'm only kidding, but she's probably feeding her dog and hatching more conspiracy theories. She'll have more than a couple of pieces of yarn and a lot more data to add to her bulletin board before this is all over.
Have a good evening, everyone!
Great story so far!
There aren't really many beings out there that match the description of Twilight's Champion. Heck, the pronoun alone eliminates 90% of my list. Now that just leaves the question of what Discord's EQG form will be. Ponies turn into Humans, Dogs turn into Humans, Dragons turn into Dogs, etc.
DANG! This is brilliant! Keep going, you've really got me intrigued!
5284603 and 5281433, I'm happy that you are enjoying the story as it unfolds! Thank you for your kind comments.
I hope to continue with steady writing progress so the chapters keep coming. By the way, the scene I am working on writing now may clear up any questions you may have about what I meant by using the term "champion". Again, I truly appreciate your interest.
Please, please, please never do that again. Make it a footnote or something. That was incredibly jarring.
So, uh, Sonata appears to be up to no good. Uh oh.
And of course the woman from Aria's dream was Luna. Duh. I'm a dumb.
Oh it was Luna. Goddang it duh.
Oh dear. She's sending Discord over to help out. Welp there goes the neighborhood.
5258827
Thinking more on it, if I view Sunset's potential Element more in the 'forgivness' aspect of redemption I have much less of a problem with it.
that " shouldn't be there. also, loved the "caught with her hand in the apple barrel" thing.
5397348 Or it could be Sombra...
I have to agree, the bard definately sounds better in the older English. I had to resist the urge to instantly run and grab my copy (or pull up my Kindle copy) to re-read that scene from it instead... Then again one of my minors in school was Eng. Lit. So that might explain the urge
I cannot wait to see Discord's appearance assuming that is him. I'm really wondering exactly what Adagio and Raven have cooking. I also like how you have Sunset's past setup. Having been so low before makes her redemption and reformation all that much more miraculous and spectacular, and Fluttershy's reaction seemed totally spot on. Especially the line about how at least something good came out of it when referring to the making of the fake crown.
Also given Celestia and Luna's reactions I'm really curious what might be brewing quietly on that side of the mirror now. I also can't help think the reason Luna insisted on being in the photo was specifically because Aria was likely to see it.
I also seem to be anticipating Sonota's next visit to the farm the same way I eagerly await an explosion on a bomb range.
Interesting how Aria, who is seemingly the most detached siren from the movie, is now the most devoted to a new path. Sonata seems to be going a different route. Contrary to her goofy and innocent fan portrayal elsewhere, this Sonata is devious and scheming.
The Cheerilee/Big Mac relationship bothers me here because I know Big Mac was a student at the school in the first movie. I don't remember if he was shown at the school in the second or not, but still the relationship here between them seems uncomfortably close to a student/teacher relationship.
Angel Bunny has been shown to be abusive and manipulative in canon. It really would not surprise me if his EG counterpart was at least slightly murderous.
Trollnata is Best Sonata.
*chuckles*
Best Siren!
*sweatdrops*
I like this, it shows that under Sonata's ditzy personality, lies a sharp mind.
Also, Discord. Best draconequus. THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!
Wow, have I been out of the loop! Let's see what's transpired since then...
I'm not sure how I feel about Sunset's... er, history... there, but I suppose it makes sense. I'm just glad you aren't taking the most obvious route with this sort of thing, though I imagine that it could cause problems with Rarity...
I loved the description of Fluttershy's van; it's those sorts of worldbuilding details I love in stories.
Sonata is definitely not proving herself wholesome in intent here; I simultaneously love that you're not making this easy, and nervous for poor Cheerilee...
Heh, poor Flash Sentry. Doomed to always be in over his head...
Huh, Raven is seriously giving off weird vibes here; I feel like there's something I've forgotten; did she appear in an earlier chapter?
And while, as others have noted, Aria's conversion seems rather quick, I like that she still feels in-character after the change.
One other thing to note - it's nice to see them communicating so frankly on the whole Leviathan issue; characters with common sense are nice to see anytime.
I'll continue to comment as I catch up; I like how things are shaping up thus far! (Also, sorry if this isn't up to my usual standards; I haven't gotten much sleep the past few nights due to working on my own stories, so my brain isn't in full gear at the moment.)
5615845 Woohoo! It's great to hear from you! I'll reply in greater depth in a PM, but until I can get my act together, here's the executive summary:
Sunset Shimmer's past is most certainly a problem, but not an insurmountable one with a little help. Thank you very much for the compliment on world-building and Fluttershy's van - the image just, well "worked." Sonata is in for a long road and Cheerilee has good reasons to be nervous. Flashback from Chapter 5 - Raven the teacher is actually Shrieking Raven the banshee , also banished to the CHS world by Starswirl the Bearded - Adagio is presently Raven's guest.
As mentioned in a previous comment, Chapter 8 sets the stage for the next part of the story and while shorter than later chapters, it was one of my favorites to write. Welcome back and thanks again!
YESSSSSSSS! Discord is coming! Joy to the world!
5808098 Keep reading, please! I hope that you enjoy my portrayal of Discord as the story develops. And, with regard to your earlier comment, you'll have to see what happens between Sunset and Rarity. If you've made it to Chapter Seven, you know that Sunset's past is going to cause some problems... Thanks for the fave and for the comments!
Sonata is . . . she's after something, but what? Since this chapter changed from everyone to teen because of what happened with Sunset, then what does Sonata want with Big Mac? What does she need? Oh, the suspense is killing me. Also, I look forward to Discord.
You think you can complete this awesome story it will be a tragedy if this story was never completed its awesome I want to see more
Not a bad selection of classical composers I prefer Beethoven myself