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Rage Reviews!1,082 stories ·1,628 members

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Kaes says she has been running for her entire life. But was their something before that that she hasn't told? It seems impossible to know, but something seems oddly familiar about her to Rarity. Could she..? No, she couldn't be!

Chapters (3)

What She Said · 7th Aug 2014 · 446 words
446
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What She Knew · 7th Aug 2014 · 303 words
303
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What Happened Next · 7th Aug 2014 · 261 words
261
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Comments ( 7 )

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hailspider

hailspider #1 · Aug 7th, 2014 · · · What Happened Next ·

I just can't make sense of this.

_Mintz_

_Mintz_ #2 · Aug 7th, 2014 · 2 · · What She Said ·

Well you jumped straight into that didn't you? not being mean just saying

_Mintz_

_Mintz_ #3 · Aug 7th, 2014 · 1 · · What She Knew ·

Wow that could have fit on one page and i was confused most of the way. But... i like tea and wine... with cheese so you know good job i guess?

_Mintz_

_Mintz_ #4 · Aug 7th, 2014 · 2 · · What Happened Next ·

Um... what's going on? you jump straight into something, that we don't even know about i'm beyond confused. god forbid can you tell me what's going on? thought there was a happy ending that i couldn't make sense of. not hating just confused

Rinnaul

Rinnaul #5 · Aug 7th, 2014 · 2 · · What Happened Next ·

This actually seems like the setup for a really cool darkfic take on Sweetie Bot, but it's just the setup. There's no lead-in and no conclusion, just a brief exploration of a premise. The story is given no time to develop, and the second chapter just dumps exposition on us without clarifying anything. I don't know what KAE's deal is. I don't know what the kenshin are. I don't know why robots are involved at all.

Work on your pacing, spread out your exposition, and develop your ideas further, and this might become something really interesting.

Nidle