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Published 14th Apr 2012
162 Views, 2 Comments

Cold Blood - Shoryu

Everything isn't rainbows and candy floss in south Manehatten

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-Brutus

-Brutus #1 · Apr 14th, 2012 · · ·

Overall good, but you need to make paragraphs bit shorter and space some of it as well, then you're good to go.

Also having a proof-reader or editor would help as well.

Shoryu

Shoryu #2 · Apr 14th, 2012 · · ·

Thanks for the input, I'll try and iron out the bugs in this chapter before working on the second chapter.

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