While out for a walk, Twilight Sparkle and Spike find Fluttershy hurt and beaten (no blood or gore, just typical cartoon injuries). So being a friend, Twilight decides to take Fluttershy into her home so she can do whatever she can to help her friend. Twilight Sparkle learns a lesson about friendship and being there to help out a friend.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I find it really interesting how you've pointed out that those two ruffians are blank flanks... It just kind of made me wonder, you know? It would have been cool if you could have elaborated on that. I mean, who ARE those guys?
Otherwise, that was a cute, fluffy read. I appreciate how you've obviously put in the effort to make it seem like the actual show, yet your characterization seemed slightly flat. I also caught a few errors in which you used the incorrect tense and repeated 'helped' on the last sentence of the 11th paragraph.
Overall though, I liked it.
I really needed something like this to pacify me from all the creepypasta I just read.
This was fairly good, although I too would like some context on who our two mystery guests are. Also, it feels a bit off that Twilight takes Fluttershy home and resorts to "do it yourself" medical treatment when it's been established that there is a perfectly serviceable hospital already in Ponyville. Otherwise, this was rather sweet.
It could definitely have been more dramatic.
In fact, Fluttershy would take pity on them and force Twilight to stop. That would be her lesson in friendship. 
If I had written this there would be a lot more details and in depth characterization.
The biggest let down was when Twilight didn't do anything to the two thugs who beat Shy. I would have detailed in 2,000 words the righteous fury Twilight should have unleashed.
It was a solid setup but its in want for more. A thumbs up for the cuteness.
They cry too much, but overall it was touching. It was a bit short, though, and it didn't have much of a lesson on friendship. Twilight didn't really learn anything new. She didn't commit herself to do anything different, because she did not do anything she regretted. It reminded me of the episode where Applejack writes, "Dear Princess Celestia, I didn't learn anything at all! Haha!"
Over all it was good but needs work.
There is not enough descriptive prose; certain parts read more like an outline than a story. Too many sentences that are nothing more then simple statements. Other lines are clumsily worded.
PLOT HOLES:
As some pony already noted, Ponyville has both a clinic and a hostpital, there is NO WAY Twilight wouldn't have taken Fluttershy to one of them. You could still had Fluttershy undergoing her recuperation at the library after being released from the hospital.
Who is caring for Fluttershy's animals, especially Angel Bunny?
Why didn't Twilight call the police when Fluttershy was first assaulted?
Why state the 2 ponies had no cutie marks? If this was a plot element to be developed later in the story it might make sense, but this this is marked as complete. So why even mention the marks at all?
Why didn't Twilight inform the cop that captured the 2 ponies about Fluttershy? Assualt and battery is a far worst crime (and sentence) than stealing flowers or threatening ponies. Plus I agree that Twi would want some form of revenge on them.
Plus the whole part of Fluttershy confronting her assailants and them being captured already by a cop is WAY too rushed IMO.
Twilight told no pony Fluttershy was hurt? They had to hear it third hoof from Spike via Pinkie Pie? Plus you make it seem like it was amazing that they even cared.
Twilighgt waited a month to tell Celestia that one of the Elements of Harmony and a national heroine was assualted and almost killed?
Comments from people I don't know, that aren't degrading (One person at a site I go to attacked me over writing this
). I decided to try here since a friend suggested it. First off, thanks, this was my first Pony fanfic I wrote early June 2011, and a few I met on Ponychan helped with the prereading.
I'll take these to mind if I should write a pony story again.
This was my first Pony fanfic, and I didn't know about the hospital at the time. All I can recall is the "Read it and Weep" episode, which is in Season 2.
Thank you very much for enjoying the story providing criticism that can help me improve, rather than attacking under the guise of criticism.
This was very sweet.
Awwww fluttershy