Chapter 30: Fluttershy & Angel
One anger-filled and stressful stroll after the giggling Rainbow Dash and Josh soon found himself at a lovely little cottage that he instantly remembered to be Fluttershy’s. Not only had he been introduced to the little shack during his tour of Ponyville, but Josh remembered seeing a glimpse of the home when he entered and exited the Everfree Forest. As he proceeded to trot upon Fluttershy’s property, it was the first time that Josh finally took notice of just how strong the place smelled of animals.
“Smells like pet spirit,” Josh joked, snickering a little bit as he glanced at Rainbow Dash. The Pegasus gave him a blank stare in return, and Josh realized that his punned reference fell on deaf ears. “Ugh, it’s in times like this that I miss the human race…something I thought I’d ever say.”
“Yeah…well then…welcome to Fluttershy’s house, Josh.” Rainbow Dash idly cast a hoof in front of the tranquil cottage. “This is where our resident animal caretaker lives. Fluttershy should be in the back, taking care of her flying animals right now. I was visiting with her a little bit when I noticed that you hadn’t followed me, so she’s expecting you.”
“Goody. Forgive me if my enthusiasm seems curbed and uninterested.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and let out a little huff, flapping her wings and flying over to push her face back into Josh’s. “Just remember what you promised, hotshot. You are not to insult or hurt Fluttershy in any way shape or form, you got that? She’s kinda difficult to deal with sometimes, true…but, we love her and care for her deeply, so you’d better watch yourself around her.”
Wrinkling his nose, Josh gently placed his right hoof on Rainbow Dash’s mouth and pushed her back. “If you ask me, your breath will offend the silly yellow pony much more than I will. You might want to check into a little something called ‘toothpaste’ and ‘floss’, not to mention ‘breath mints’, okay?”
“I hate you so much.”
“The feeling is mutual. Now, you may as well take me to see Fluttershy before I get annoyed.”
“Just follow me and shut up.” Rainbow Dash grumbled to herself and turned around, flapping her powerful Pegasus wings and leading Josh around the side of Fluttershy’s house. Josh couldn’t help but smirk when he saw Dash breathing into her hoof and then holding it up to her nose, checking to see if the stallion’s insult was justified. From the look on her face, Josh realized she might need a trip to the dentist later on.
When Dash led Josh around Fluttershy’s house, the stallion’s eyes shot open and his jaw dropped at the sight he got to behold. He had no idea just how much Fluttershy cared for animals. The entire area behind Fluttershy’s house seemed to be inhabited by nothing more than animals, animal homes, animal toys, and everything else related to creatures. Josh’s eyes fell upon trees with many nests littering the branches and holes burrowed into the trunks. He saw a large chicken coop, a giant avian house in another tree, a large field overrun with critters big and small, various sizes of holes in the ground, and much more. Josh was starting to wonder if it might be easier to point out animals that Fluttershy didn’t have rather than pointing out ones she did.
“Sweet mother of Jesus…it looks like a zoo back here!” Josh peered curiously into one of the holes on the ground, letting out a loud squeak of shock when a gopher poked its head out to give a cheery hello. “I swear, I’ve seen wildlife reserves that don’t have this many critters!”
“Pretty cool, huh? That’s Fluttershy for ya.” Rainbow Dash grinned, flying upside down on her back as she lounged in the air. “You see, she and I were once residents of Cloudsdale when we were fillies. However, while I was participating in a race…which I won easily, thanks for asking…Fluttershy got knocked down to the ground, which is where she got her cutie mark. She found her passion for making animals like her and all that stuff.”
“Ah…so THAT’S what her stupid tattoo represents,” Josh muttered, “For a little while, I was thinking her butterflies meant that she was a lesbian, just like you.”
“Did you say something? I can’t hear your whispering.”
“Nope, nothing important! Now, where IS our little yellow pony, hmm?”
“Um, right here.” Josh whipped his head around and saw the timid Fluttershy standing right behind him. She was carrying a basket of birdseed on her back, and one of her bangs of her pink mane was draped over her left eye. The mare wore a shy smile as Josh finally took notice of her. “Er…hi there, Fluttershy.”
Oh, crap, did she hear what I said? Well…who cares if she did! She is TOTALLY a lesbian! I mean, just look at that hairstyle! Plus, her timid and meek voice, and the way she’s always looking at the ground when she’s in the presence of females! It’s so clearly obvious; who cares if she heard? It’s the truth!
“Hi there, Josh.” Fluttershy trotted up to the stallion, making barely a sound as her hooves touched the ground with each gentle step. “I’m really glad that you decided to come here to visit…you didn’t have to, you know…”
“Duh, I know that! I mean, no offense, but you…” Josh paused before he could speak his insult. He was reminded of the promise he made to Rainbow Dash, and even though he had no problem breaking promises back home on Earth, he didn’t really want to break one that he made to a rather serious blue Pegasus. Plus, the loud coughing he heard from behind him via that same cyan mare made him think twice, too. “…I mean, it was no problem at all. I already visited your friends, so…it’s only fair that I came to see you, too, right? Thanks for having me.”
At first, Fluttershy looked slightly nervous and was even backing up a little at the thought of getting insulted. However, when Josh swallowed his intended speech and instead replaced it with some kind words, her smile returned and she gave a little bow of her head. “You are very welcome. Um, I just got done feeding the birds…could you wait here while I put the birdseed away? That is, if you’re okay with waiting…I don’t want you to get impatient”
Josh groaned and felt like banging his head against a tree. “Are you serious? Fluttershy, for God’s sake, why do you talk so…” Once again, another loud and somewhat harsher cough rang out from behind his back, and Josh caught himself from speaking insulting words once more. “…why do you talk so hesitantly? I came here to visit you, not to put a clock on your head and make you hurry just to give me your full and undivided attention. Go on and do what you need to do; I’ve got Dash to torture in the meantime, anyway, so it’s cool.”
Fluttershy, again expecting to be scolded and insulted, couldn’t help but give Josh a thankful smile when all he did was assure her that he wasn’t going to get impatient. Despite his talk of torturing Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy couldn’t help but give a little giggle; from the tone of Josh’s voice, she knew that he was joking. “Okay. You and Rainbow Dash please sit tight; I’ll be right back after I put this away.” The Pegasus gave one more little bow to Josh, then trotted away towards a large shed, which Josh assumed was where she kept a lot of animal food and supplies.
“Torture me, will ya?” Rainbow Dash’s amused voice said, making the hair on the back of Josh’s neck bristle. “We’ll see about THAT!” However, Josh was ready this time. When Rainbow Dash attempted another tackle on the stallion, she squeaked when her hooves grasped nothing but air and she found herself smashing down hard onto the grassy terrain. Josh quickly leaped on top of her a second later, effectively pinning her down and finally escaping from one of her tackles. “Hey! No fair!”
Humming to himself and ignoring Rainbow Dash’s cries, Josh thought about how his brother had always used to torture him back home. The thoughts of being sat on and tortured made Josh cringe, but with every thrash and yelp of defiance from the Pegasus underneath him, Josh realized that this type of torture was justified. After all, Rainbow Dash had attacked him, so this was just self-defense, was it not? Josh kept telling himself that as he flipped Rainbow Dash over and sat gently on her chest.
“Now then, my loud and obnoxious brat who can’t seem to keep her hooves off me, shall we make your right ear match your left?” Josh slid his left hoof into his mouth and ran his tongue over the edges, letting his saliva moisten and dampen it as he prepared himself for another Rainbow Dash punishment.
“WHAT?!?! OH MAN, NOT AGAIN!”
“Yep, again! Suffer, Dash!” Imitating his evil cackle from before, Josh shoved his wet hoof into Rainbow Dash’s right ear. As her cries of distress and discomfort filled the air, most of the nearby animals looked up in concern and glanced over at the two ponies. When they saw that Josh was simply giving Rainbow Dash a wet willy, they turned away and went back to playing or sleeping or eating.
Man I love torturing Rainbow Dash…she just BEGS for it! Josh sighed happily as he crammed his hoof deeper into Dash’s ear, her shrieks and shouts of revenge being music to his own ears. She’s such a playful scamp. I kinda wish there were more girls like this back on my home world; most of the female humans I know are such emo and serious brats who only care about texting and talking on cellphones. I’m honestly glad those cursed devices aren’t in this world. They ruin people.
“Um…Josh? What…what are you doing to Rainbow Dash?”
With half of his hoof crammed inside Dash’s ear, Josh slowly lifted his eyes away from the squirming Pegasus beneath his body to see that Fluttershy had reentered the scene. She was watching the stallion pin her friend down with concerned eyes and a troubled frown; Josh figured it was because she never really got into any rowdy situations in her lifetime. The former human couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit; seeing Fluttershy frown was rather cute.
“Don’t worry your curly little head, Fluttershy,” Josh said quickly, playfully giving Rainbow Dash a hard noogie before leaping off her body, his hoof popping out of her ear at the same time, “I was just playing with her.”
“Okay…but why was your hoof in her ear? Was there a piece of dirt stuck inside?”
“No, I was trying to see if I could feel her brains, but since she doesn’t have any, I felt nothing but an empty skull. Kinda interesting, once you think about it.”
“HEY! NOT COOL, JOSH!” After violently shaking her head to clear the spittle out of her right ear, Rainbow Dash’s face flushed and she shook a hoofed fist in Josh’s face. “I do so have brains! You’ve just earned yourself a good pranking. Just you wait, buddy boy; when you least expect it, I’m gonna prank you good! I learned from Pinkie Pie, so you’re in one for heck of a ride!” The Pegasus’ mouth curled into an evil smirk as she rubbed her hooves together, confident that Josh would be scared of her threat.
“Ooh, I’m SO scared, Rainbow Dash!” Josh hugged his body and let out a rather exaggerated gasp of fear. “You’re going to prank me to death! Fluttershy, please, talk some sense into your friend! She’s gone mad and I think I could be in real danger!”
“Um…”
“Don’t think Fluttershy is gonna help ya, Joshy! Once I’m through with you, you’re going to lose a lot of sleep at night. You’ll be tossing and turning and worried sick about the most awesome prank ever pulled off! It’ll scar you for life! It’ll make your skin crawl! It’ll haunt your nightmares and…”
“…say, Rainbow Dash?” Josh interrupted, holding up a hoof to silence the over-excited mare, “I heard that the town was looking to give you a reward for apprehending the illegal cupcake operation members. Maybe you should head back to claim it before they give it away to someone else?”
“A REWARD?!?! YES! I’M SO THERE!” Without a second to think about it and without so much as giving a wave goodbye, Rainbow Dash eagerly zoomed away back to Ponyville. A snickering Josh and a glaring Fluttershy was left in her wake.
“See what I mean? No brains!” Josh laughed his head off, sitting on the ground and slapping at the knees on his hind legs. When he saw that Fluttershy wasn’t laughing with him, and was even glaring at him, he shook his head. “What’s up your yellow butt? That was funny!”
“You lied to her.” Fluttershy’s voice came out soft, but stern and to the point. It was almost enough to chill Josh to the bone, even though she spoke in basically the same way as she always did.
“Uh…well, yeah…but, it was just a little white lie to get her out of here…come on, everyone tells white lies! You can’t scold me for THAT!”
“I suppose I can’t…I’m sorry for getting mad.” Fluttershy let out a soft sigh and shook a few curls of her mane out of her face as she trotted up to Josh. “I just…don’t like to see my friends hurt. And when I see somepony take advantage of them…it makes me…upset.”
“That’s sickeningly sweet, but give me a break, girl! It was just a little lie; it can’t hurt her!”
“Just like all the other mean things you’ve said and done can’t hurt, either?”
Josh’s ears drooped as he saw Fluttershy stare into his eyes. Her expression was so gentle and so warm, but the stallion still felt so nervous from the Pegasus’ eyes. He didn’t understand why he felt so chilled and unnerved just from her stare. She spoke in such a soft and silky voice that he was shocked he wasn’t just completely ignoring her out of sheer annoyance. There was something about her strong cyan eyes that mystified and rattled him. It was like on the outside she was a rabbit, but on the inside she was a lion. Josh couldn’t pull his gaze away from her.
Damn…is just an act? I…I can’t back down from this stare…I can’t pull away! She…she makes me so freaking nervous! It’s like…staring into a…a…I don’t know! She’s so frail, and so weak, and so puny, and so timid, and so…pathetic! But…I can almost sense the strong passion and fortitude emanating from within her…all from these eyes. These dark, beautiful, haunting, chilling cyan eyes…
“Josh? I want you to apologize to Rainbow Dash for tricking her and for giving her…um…whatever it was you said you gave to her. Is that clear?” Fluttershy’s voice entered Josh’s head, although her hypnotic stare continued to force him to stare straight ahead without moving a single inch.
“…yes, Fluttershy, as you wish.”
“And…if you could…would you please not be mean to them when you’re with me? I…I can’t stop you from doing things…when I’m not there, of course…but, when I’m with my friends, could you pretty please be just a little bit nicer?”
“…yes, Fluttershy, your wish is my command.”
“Thank you very much, Josh.” Her warm and shy smile returned to her face as she took a step back, her pupils glancing down at the ground. As soon as the stare was broken, Josh instantly raised his hooves to his eyes and gently rubbed the folds of his eyelids. What had just happened?
Dear lord…what was THAT all about? It was like…some kind of trance. My brain felt all fuzzy, like it was turning into jelly. My heart seemed to beat slower, and I could barely breathe. My eyes felt like they were on fire as Fluttershy stared into them. I…I couldn’t stop looking into her eyes. My whole body got paralyzed and my mouth ran dry. What…what…no, WHO is this Pegasus? Is she…really as meek as she lets on? I think there’s more to this girl than first meets the…eye.
“Er…Fluttershy?” Josh finally found his voice, his nervous question slipping off his tongue almost in complete and utter hesitance. This was one of those rare moments where he actually felt scared to talk in the presence of a pony. The pony whom he was scared of wasn’t one he had ever thought he WOULD be scared of, too.
“Yes, Josh?” Fluttershy nervously lifted her head back up, the confident and commanding gaze no longer seen in her eyes. She looked just the same as she had when Josh first came to Equestria. Josh waited for a few seconds, staring at Fluttershy and waiting to see if the same fuzzy and ominous feeling came over him, but it never did. Whatever Fluttershy had done to put him under her spell, it was over now.
“Uh…it’s nothing…never mind,” Josh whispered, deciding to not bring it up and make Fluttershy angry or upset again, “But, uh…anyway…want to show me around? I really do love animals and I’d love to see your furry friends. Cats are my favorites.”
Her face instantly perking up, Fluttershy broke out into a happy smile as her wings stretched out and she did a little twirl in the air. “Oh, Josh, that’s lovely! But of course you can have a tour of my home. We’ll visit all the animals that I have and you can become friends with them! There are plenty of precious kitties around here, too, for you to snuggle and hug and get close to.”
Well, THAT was a complete 180. What the hell is up with this strange mare? Josh eyed the hovering yellow Pegasus in the air, examining her happy smile and the way her eyes continued to change from emotion to emotion. He now saw joy in her eyes. First was nervousness when I came here. Then, there was confusion when I played with Dash. After that, I saw a gentle anger in her eyes, which then turned into…whatever the hell that hypnotic look of hers was. But now, she’s happy! Good lord, I hate to see her cry!
“Well, what are we waiting for, my birthday?” Josh said sarcastically, trotting up to the yellow pony, “Start showing me around. But, I must warn you; if any of your animals bite me, I’m gonna have to sue you. I hope there are some good lawyers around here.”
Fluttershy’s eyes fluttered shut as she let out a gentle giggle, the sound almost making Josh want to blush. His heart wanted to melt as well, but after angrily hitting his chest, his heart stopped wanting the feeling. “Oh, Josh…you don’t have to worry. All my little animal friends are very sweet and kind; they would never harm another living creature. Just have faith and trust me, please.” The Pegasus beckoned for Josh to follow her and she began to fly away towards the trees with the bird nests.
Ugh…I’m being nice…to HER? This is so disgusting. Josh muttered to himself as he forced his legs to move, his eyes following Fluttershy’s graceful form. This girl is so disgustingly-sweet that it’s enough to give a person diabetes! She’s so graceful and elegant, so gentle and caring…ugh! I just want to strangle her…but at the same time, I want to strangle MYSELF for thinking such a thing! Have I lost my mind? Josh’s eyes trailed down Fluttershy’s tail until it reached her rump. Plus…why is it that all these females have such lovely rear-ends? I think Queen would love to see them, since all they sing about is fat-bottomed girls riding on bikes. The human race could learn a thing or two about staying fit from these ponies, THAT’S for sure.
“Now, Josh, over here we have my lovely bird friends, who…um…may I ask what you’re staring at?” Fluttershy was hovering in front of the tree full of nests and, after noticing Josh’s poignant stare directed at her tush, she tilted her head and nervously craned her head back. “Oh…is there something on my tail? Do I have mud on it? I just took a bath an hour ago; I always take one before and after tending to my animals. It’s always nice to be clean and show the animals just how much I care for them in a squeaky clean body…and then take a bath right afterwards, since they usually enjoy playing with me after I feed them and give them hugs.”
“Er…no, there’s nothing wrong with your…tail.” Josh coughed and mentally scolded himself for staring at yet another pony’s rear-end. “I was just…uh…well…” He paused and desperately tried to think of a way of gently informing a girl that you were just staring at her butt. “I think you’re…uh…really skinny?”
“Oh! Um…okay? But…how would that…um…why would you…what?” Fluttershy was confused as to why staring at her tail would lead Josh to the consensus that she was really skinny, when he could just look at her normally and see the same thing.
“Uh…yeah! Your tail…is really long, and…” Josh fought hard to keep speaking random sentences to try and put together a bogus story for why he had been looking at Fluttershy’s butt. “…and…well, when you take the circumference and multiply it by the radius off your lovely little posterior, it allowed me to find your height just by using my expert math skills and realizing that a pony’s butt equals exactly 20% of their full body mass. Multiplying your rear-end’s diameter by the length of your tail, I was able to find out your full body weight and length, which led me to the conclusion that my hypothesis was correct: the pony population is much more in shape than the human population back on Earth. I find that my discovery is very informative and I must thank you for being a part in my experiment that you had no idea you were a part of, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy stared down at Josh for a long time, her wings softly flapping to keep her aloft as her brain analyzed all the bogus information that Josh had given her. She tilted her head to the side and blinked, then tilted her head the other way and blinked again. Finally, she reached her own conclusion. “So, um, basically…you were staring at my rear?”
“I…would much prefer it if you took it as me doing an experiment that will no doubt help the human population get into shape when I explain how a bunch of cartoon ponies can stay in shape and look a hell of a lot better than most of them do.”
“But…um…the fact is that you were…still staring at my rear…correct?”
“No…I was doing an experiment.”
“…so, you weren’t staring at my rear then?”
“No, I was staring at your rump, but that doesn’t…wait, what?!?! DAMN YOU!” Josh buried his face in his hooves as Fluttershy eventually tricked him into saying the ultimate truth. It was simply impossible to keep lying to the soft-spoken Pegasus for too long. “Look, it’s not what you think! I do NOT feel that way about you, or ANY pony! It’s just…well, let’s face it! Every time you girls turn around and start to walk or fly away, what’s the first thing we stare it? It’s inevitable! It’s not my fault, really! Blame the fact that you’re talking horses and you don’t walk on two legs!”
Fluttershy stifled a weak giggle. Josh didn’t know it, but the more he tried to deny his actions and the longer he continued to try and make up random and asinine stories, the redder his face darkened. She had to admit that she felt slightly uncomfortable knowing that Josh was staring at her rear-end, but all the same, she never had gotten “checked out” before in her life. The fact that Josh was inclined to gaze at her posterior, even if it was perverted, gave her a small sense of joy. At least she wasn’t so easy to ignore and dismiss like she always feared, nor was she just a pathetic little mare no one cared about besides her friends.
“Oh, Josh, it’s okay…um, please don’t worry too much…but, I’d be careful if I were you,” Fluttershy warned, shaking her head and giving Josh a worried look, “If Angel finds out that you’ve been…giving me naughty looks…he’ll get really mad. He’s quite protective of me.”
“I WASN’T GIVING YOU NAUGHTY…wait, who the hell is Angel?” Instantly, Josh’s heart got jumpy and he began looking around the area with a nervous expression. “Is that…your boyfriend? Oh, crap, this is bad! I’ve never had to fight in my life! Well, at least not a fair fight. The last time I was in a fight was when I was in school, and it was basically one-sided, since I had a hockey stick and he wasn’t looking when I struck him over the head.” An evil smirk flashed on Josh’s lips for a split-second as he remembered the fond memory, but the happy expression faded when he came back to reality. “Fluttershy, why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”
Widening her eyes in both shock and amusement at Josh’s assumptions, Fluttershy giggled and quickly shook her head. “Oh, no, Angel isn’t my boyfriend! He’s my sweet little pet bunny.”
Immediately, Josh gave a sigh as relief flooded over him. “Oh. So, he’s just one of your pets. And a rabbit no less. That makes me feel better.”
“Please don’t underestimate Angel, Josh. He…he really is protective…and he’s no ordinary bunny. He really is quite the sweet little thing, but…” Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she suddenly whipped her head to the left and stared at something at Josh’s side. “Oh dear…I got so excited with you coming over, Josh, I forgot about his mid-morning-almost-noon carrot…”
“Say what now?” Josh glanced to his side and saw nothing. Then, when he cast his eyes to the ground, he saw a beady-eyed white rabbit glaring up at him. Its arms were crossed and his little mouth was curled down into a heavy frown. His whiskers were twitching and he was tapping one of his big feet in an irritated fashion. Josh didn’t enjoy the look he was giving him. “What the hell are YOU looking at, punk?”
Nervously, Fluttershy flew down and gently landed beside the glaring rabbit and the annoyed stallion. “Um, Josh? This is Angel, my wonderful and adorable little pet bunny. Angel, sweetie? This is Josh, and he’s one of my newest friends.”
Friends? She…she considers me a friend, too? Even after everything I’ve done? Un-freaking-believable. These ponies are such idiots, I swear. They’d make friends with a rock if it was pretty enough! Josh rolled his eyes at the sweet sentiment given by Fluttershy, before smirking back down at the rabbit. Well, whatever. So, this so-called wonderful and adorable pet is Angel? He’s kinda cute; he looks like a little gangster.
“A pleasure to meet you, Angel,” Josh said, his sarcasm easy to define as he held out his hoof towards the annoyed rabbit, “You heard your mistress. I’m Josh, and I…” However, at that moment, he yelped and took a leap back when Angel proceeded to violently slap his hoof away. For such a small rabbit, he had quite a bit of power in his scrawny arms. “OW! Hey, what the hell is your problem, dude?”
“Oh dear…um, Angel, please don’t…” But Fluttershy was silenced when Angel quickly held up a paw to her face, never taking his eyes off Josh. Fluttershy slinked back, meekly sitting on the ground as the rabbit advanced on Josh. Despite their size differences, Josh found himself backing away from the angry little rabbit. The stallion watched as the white bunny pointed back and forth between himself and Fluttershy, angrily twitching his nose and stamping his feet. After a moment of trying to make sense of what he was trying to say, Josh figured it out.
How precious. The cynical little rabbit IS really protective of his owner…to the point of violence. Almost like a jealous boyfriend, like I imagined. Josh chuckled to himself as he continued to watch the rabbit point to Fluttershy and then to himself, as though to say that she belonged to him and Josh couldn’t have her. This is actually kinda funny. You know what? I think I’ll play along for a bit, just to see him squeak a few times and try to attack me; that’ll be hilarious! Forgetting about how hard the smack felt on his hoof just a few seconds ago, Josh peered down at the rabbit and sneered.
“Look, you little punk, this is how it’s gonna go down. I find Fluttershy very attractive, and as of right now, she’s my girlfriend!” Ignoring the squeaks of surprise coming from Fluttershy’s general direction, Josh continued with his taunts. “So, I’m sorry, but she belongs to ME, not you! You’re just a tiny, annoying, obnoxious little bunny rabbit, not even worth my time. So why don’t you take a hike and get out of here before I find out just how lucky a rabbit’s foot can be when I kick your fluffy cotton-tailed ass? Don’t you have a tea party or something that you’re late for?”
Impressed with his insults and threats, Josh hung back and smirked down at the stunned rabbit. Fluttershy was dumbfounded and horrified near her tree, and could only utter small and stunned squeaks without really making an effort to get words out. Angel himself looked horrified at what Josh had to say, but instead of backing down and looking depressed, he bared his teeth and got even angrier. With the final insults of how Josh was going to kick his butt and the cliché of him late for a tea party fresh in his mind, Angel made a tiny fist and cracked his knuckles. His eyes never left Josh’s.
Uh…I’m no fight expert, but…I think he accepted my challenge…oh crap, am I gonna have to hurt Fluttershy’s pet? I was just joking! C’mon, can’t any living creature take a freaking joke? Groaning and shaking his head at how stupid things were, Josh nonchalantly readied himself for what he thought was going to be a weak flurry of punches that wouldn’t even hurt a fly. Stupid rabbit…well, if Fluttershy gets mad that I hurt her rabbit, she can blame HIM. He’s the one who started it and threw down the gauntlet by slapping my hoof! Then, as his thoughts came back to his hoof getting struck and the pain he felt, he turned pale. Wait…this isn’t my world…where rabbits are innocent little creatures. This is a world with talking ponies…and I just got my hoof slapped by an enraged rabbit. Now, I just insulted that rabbit and informed him that I was taking away his owner. Oh…crap.
A second later, Josh felt a tiny fist slam into the side of his face. Despite the size nothing more than that of a cherry, the impact felt like Josh had just gotten struck in the face by a human fist. He gasped in shock and staggered backwards, but as he had predicted, the flurry of punches kept coming. Sadly for him, they weren’t as weak as he had anticipated. Each one connected with his face, neck, and upper body, one of them even going so far as to knock the wind out of him. Never having been taught to fight, Josh was helpless against the furious rabbit.
OW! OUCH! DAMMIT! I’M GETTING MY ASS KICKED…BY A FREAKING RABBIT! Josh’s cries of pain echoed through the nearby meadow and forest. His body was starting to bruise all over again after having recovered from his one-sided fights with Applejack, Rarity and Derpy Hooves. Not knowing what to do, instincts began to kick in as he desperately tried to curl up into a ball, but all Angel did was throw in some kicks to the head with his powerful feet to maximize the pain. Josh stood no chance at the homicidal rabbit bent on keeping Fluttershy for himself.
After finishing Josh off with a powerful karate kick to the face, the stallion uttered one final moan of pain before collapsing onto his back. As he felt the soft grass cushion his fall, he whimpered at how bad his body felt. It was like he was on fire; every part of him was hurting. His ribs were bruised and sore, all four legs felt pained as he lay sprawled out on the grass, his face was covered with welts and bumps, and he swore he could taste some of Angel’s fur in his mouth from each shot he took to the jaw. When the rabbit leaped up onto his chest a moment later and glared down at him, he choked and sucked up his pride to utter the words that Angel wanted to hear.
“You…you win…you psychotic, freakish rabbit. Fluttershy…is all yours…and I’m sorry for making fun of your mother…oh, wait, I only said that in my head…” He yelped again when Angel slapped him across the face for that. “OW! Okay, okay! I’m sorry for insulting you…now, please, let me go! My pride has been shot enough as it is!”
Finally satisfied, Angel gave a nod of satisfaction and proceeded to bounce off Josh’s stomach. The stallion’s weak moans escaped his mouth in short, choppy utterances. He was going to need some more time to recover from the beating he just received from Fluttershy’s pet. At least, that’s what he thought before he felt Fluttershy rush to his side a moment later and gasp in horror.
“Oh, Josh, I told you he was protective of me! I really, REALLY wish you wouldn’t have egged him on like that! Just look at you!” Fluttershy sighed and shook her head, then gently jumped over Josh and headed for her home. “I’ll go and get my first aid kit…and Angel’s carrot. Stay right there, Josh…please?” When the Pegasus vanished into the house, Josh coughed out some more of Angel’s white fur and weakly moved his head to the opposite side. He saw Angel smirking down at him with his arms crossed and a smug look smeared across his face.
“Oh, shut up.”
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great
Pwned. Predator Missile Unlocked
Josh's beaten... again?!
It's getting a lil' boring...
...but I hope he's going to improve himself more. Anyway, again great chapter, and I can't wait for next update.
Badass Angel...
i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/LegionScavenger/Angel.png
shesawake.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/3stooges_face_palm.jpg Thats one skyrocketing trip straight to pathetic. By a rabbit Jesus H Christ if he doesn't go homicidal soon I think I might. Ugh just put some cyanide in his next meal Josh seeing him die will make you happy [ or me at least HA] .
Obviously Josh has never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail or he'd know better than to insult rabbits.
Good.... Good..... NOW HAVE JOSH DECAPITATE HIM!!!!
You people are psychos.
220027 O hay Zh3sh1re nice to see you here. [ I also agree with you 100% for somewhat reason I hate that rabbit !!!!]
NOPONY FUCKS WITH ANGEL THE RABBIT!
NOPONY!
You've got him right where you want him, Josh! Now bring out the big guns and finish him!
220141
Good to see you too! Indeed, I *REALLY* hate Angel. I have always seen him like the Monty Python rabbit, except with a lot more intelligence. Also, looking forward towards the next chapter of your story. Practically crying blood for it.
I would skin Angel alive the next time I saw him. I wouldn't care if it alienated me from the rest of Ponyville, I would still kill the rabbit after he did that.
KILL THE RABBBIIIIIIIT
No one won't answer me but, I have to say this with my red truth:
This story had become shit ever since chapter 25
that's all I have to say, some will agree with me, some will not but, we all have our opinions and I will respect them.
Fuckin' owned by Angel! Almost pissed myself. Many lulz were had. Awaiting next chapter.
every chapter he gets his ass kicked, every single fucking chapter.
Josh, this is for you being beaten by a bunny
i460.photobucket.com/albums/qq322/Shadows_chica/Posters/demotivational-posters-quadruple-facepalm.jpg
Hahaha! Freaking hilarious!
Fluttershy uses mind control! Josh gets his flank handed to him by a Rabbit!
What a dork. Next chapter I bet he gets his ass kicked by a Parasprite.
This story is amazing. It has provided me with many a laugh.
Angel is such a badass. I wish I could have seen that fight with me own two peepers.
I died of laughter.
That being said, I'm starting to get tired of Josh's lack of character development...
I feel so sorry for Josh.
I kinda want him to kill someone.
Whoa
Now I feel horrible...
220343
I think I might have to agree with this, but not as harsh.
Now that he's finally met everypony, maybe this plot can actually move forward.
I honestly really fucking hate fan interpretations of Angel. It makes me want to declare permanent open season on rabbits and rodents in general.
Lmfao, the rabbit owns
Well thanks for updating.
I'm reading a lot of fics >.<, its going to take me a week to recover from
My surgerey.
Cool story! MOAR!!!
pophangover.com/wp-content/themes/arthemia/scripts/timthumb.php?src=//images/facepalm-3.jpg&w=550&h=550&zc=1&q=400
At first I was like:
Josh's words are like farts. They smell, nobody likes them, AND THEY BOTH COME OUT OF ASSHOLES!
But then, as he changed, I did too.
KILL HER, YOU IDIOT!
Now, I'm like:
Im still thinking Josh's theme is hate everyone by say anything
Well, the one who takes pride in running a mile in ten minutes gets beat up by a bunny. After cuddling with Diamond Tiara.
I always knew that rabbit was a psycho.
Why is Josh so idiotic? I find it quite insulting to the human race.
Can josh stop being such a little bitch and kick that fucking asshole of a rabbit
its not funny its fucking frustration for fuck sake humans are predators horses are fucking vegans you do the math show these ponies why humans are the apex in our world
"They’d make friends with a rock if it was pretty enough!" - yeah, like Tom Dan.