• Member Since 8th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 22nd, 2014

Anonympony


T

Rarity, the most distinguished mare in Ponyville, has never been one to care for brains over beauty. But the day she meets a shy and quiet pony, she realises that beauty is only skin deep. Or circuit deep, in this case.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 23 )

Oooh, sounds interesting :pinkiegasp:

I'll give it a shot:pinkiesmile:

438165 :applejackunsure: bare in mind, this is the first edit. A few typos still linger.

Hmm, intresting name, and description, nice, short and enough to pique my intrest.

"Then the screen suddenly 'pooped' to life, showing familiar features of a pony face." assuming that should be popped instead of pooped? also interesting story idea, I don't believe I have ever read a fic about a robopony.

438380:facehoof: That is thoroughly embarrassing.

438382
Sorry about that. At least now its been caught, and it gave me a good laugh :rainbowlaugh:
happens to the best of us. :moustache:

An interesting start, indeed. I did notice a few mistakes here and there, though, some of which have been corrected, but some of which haven't (i.e. "interior of Carousel Boutique going quite."). Still, solid work so far.

THE ENTIRE STORY IS TOLD IN THE TRADITIONAL ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE.
THIS STORY COULD BE INTERESTING, UNFORTUNATELY THE STORY IS GIVING ME A BIT OF A HEADACHE BECAUSE OF ALL THE SHOUTING.
MIGHT I RECOMMEND THAT THE STORY LOWERS ITS VOLUME TO A MORE APPROPRIATE INDOOR VOICE.
SUCH FORCEFUL SPEECH COULD TURN AWAY A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF THE AUDIENCE.
BUT THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION, NO NEED TO CHANGE ON MY ACCOUNT.
CARRY ON.

481580
It's just because the entire story is in bold, it makes it a "loud" read and hard to get into the story.
And it's kinda hard on the eyes, similar to the way walls of text are hard to read.

And apologies for my poor attempt at saying it humorously.

481619 Huh. Is it in bold? I didn't notice. I'll fix that ASAP.

481619 Did you try changing the font or anything?

481636
The fonts are different between chapters 1 & 2, but the settings are the same on my end.
Chapter 1 looks good by the way.

The "Chapter 2" at the top of chapter 2 looks fine, but the actual story is weird.

481650 :derpytongue2: There you are. Sorry about that.

481442 Actually, that would be pretty interesting. A whole story with narration in the RCV, dialogue written normally and occasional breaks for the narrator to clear its throat, sip water or cough.

The inclusion of gizmo seems rather forced. It'd be best to either fix how he's introduced or remove him entirely.
Gizmo is a fifth wheel.

1852033 I see your point, and I felt that way too as I don't like mixing original characters and the Mane 6, but I couldn't really think of a way to do the story without him, nor really introduce him. If I could figure something else out, I would, but the story is also only three chapters in (I'll get around to it...) and he isn't entirely developed yet.

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