Operation: G.O.D

"...ike? Spike?"

"...Spike?"

"Spike!"

And then Spike fell out of his basket.

"Wha-gah!?" The baby dragon spluttered, kicking at his blankets.

"Oh good, you're awake." A voice he recognized as Twilight Sparkle said cheerfully.

"Twilight?" Spike paused, frowning. "You're supposed to be sleeping."

"Sleeping? How could I sleep at a time like this!?" Twilight practically shouted.

Spike looked up in confusion. Why was Twilight acting so strange? But, then his eyes came upon his sister's hair and he had his answer. Her hair was twisted and tangled, strands poking out in different directions. And in the light, her eyes glowed brightly. Her pupils were shrunken and her right eye twiched ever so slightly.

Spike had seen this before.

'Oh no...', he thought, 'not again.'

"Twi, um, maybe you should get back to bed."

"I told you Spike!" The pony said, getting face to muzzle with him. "This is not the time for sleep!"

"Twilight, you're acting....weird. Those pills made you crazy! You need to go to bed."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. But, right now we have more important things to worry about!" Twilight stated.

"Twilight, wait, you need to-" Spike was interrupted by Twilight levitating him up.

"Too late!" The delusional mare cheered, and then galloped out of her room.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

"That is one of the worst ideas you have ever made."

"Oh come on, Spike!" Twilight said, stomping a hoof. "Work with me here! It's the best I've got!"

"Seriously," Spike replied, quirking an eyebrow. "This is the best you've got?

"At the moment."

"Twilight, you really should go to bed, you're not thinking clearly."

"No! We're doing this right now!"

Spiked sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, so, let me get this straight, you want to break into-"

"Not break into!" Countered Twilight. "We're going to simply sneak in without them knowing."

"Okay," Spike continued. "You want to sneak into Applejack's house, go into Big Macintosh's room, and steal-

"Ah, ah, ah!" Twilight interrupted again. "It's not stealing, it's getting back what is rightfully ours."

"It's not even ours!" Spike said. "It's your doll!"

"True, but Spike, your my assistant, my friend, my brother! This is an equal partnership. That's why it's called, Operation: G.O.D, Operation: Get Our Doll."

Spike sighed. "That name's dumb."

"Whatever! Just...Continue your summarization of my plan."

"Okay, once again. You want to sneak into AJ's house, go into Big Mac's room, then get back your-"

"Our!"

"Our doll."

"See? It's the perfect plan."

"No. It's the complete opposite of perfect."

"Oh, Spike, I really wish you would stop being so negative." The purple pony princess said as she adorned a full-body, black suit, which only had an opening for her head.

"Why can't you just ask for Smarty Pants?"

"I did! Multiple times, in fact! But, AppleJack doesn't respond, Big Mac is constantly avoiding me, and Apple Bloom doesn't know what the hay I'm talking about!"

"Well, even so, I don't want any part in this." Spike said, crossing his arms in finality.

"Too late!" Twilight then cast a spell in which a second black suit, Spike-sized, of course, appeared on his body. Spike looked around his body in utter bewilderment, then turned to the pony with a pout upon his face.

"Twilight!" The little dragon whined as Twilight levitated him onto her back. He tried to get off, struggling out of the pony's magical grip, but after a while, he realized his attempts were in vain, and gave in.

'Don't worry, Spike,' The purple drake thought to himself, 'All you need to do is tolerate her craziness a little longer and you'll be fine...
_________________________________________________________________________________________
'This feels like deja vu all over again', Spike thought as he walked nonchalantly under Luna's moon next to a tiptoeing, paranoid Twilight Sparkle, who was constantly doing somersaults, pressing herself against walls and other objects, and doing completely unneeded cartwheels, flips, and other tricks. By the time the two reached the Smith's house, Twilight was out of breath and panting like a dog.

"You need to exercise more." Commented Spike.

Twilight, unfortunately, was too tired to say or even think of a witty comeback. Instead, she held up a hoof as she regained her breath. "Just....Wait...Wait a second." She panted.

Spike tapped a foot on of the many rocks conveniently placed along the trail to the Smith family's abode with his arms crossed in an annoyed fashion.

"Okay," The alicorn said. "I'm ready."

"Great." The baby dragon sighed as he reached to push the door open.

"Wait!" Twilight cried, stopping Spike before he could even touch the door.

"What?" Spike asked, looking even more annoyed than before.

"If we take the front entrance, somepony could hear us! Just think about how creaky and noisy the floorboards are!" The purple pony explained. "Plus, the door's probably locked."

Spike pushed against the door lightly, it stayed shut, but it made a light creaking noise, causing Twilight to wince slightly.

"Yep. Locked." He confirmed.

"Okay then." Twilight said as she hopped onto a window sill. "Come on, Spike."

"What are you doing!?" The drake yelled.

"Getting into the house!" Twilight said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Now, come on."

Spike looked around nervously, not sure if he should follow the mare or not. He took a few steps backwards, then forwards once more. He bit his lips as he shifted his eyes from right to left in his internal battle. But, ultimately, he gave up and started climbing after Twilight.

"Come on, Spike." She whispered to the dragon below her. "His room's right here!"

"I'm coming." He whispered.

Twilight climbed into the room, one leg after the other silently and Spike followed suit. His landing however was less quiet, earning him one of the scariest looks from Twilight he had ever seen. He seriously thought she was contemplating killing him.

Big Macintosh's room was nothing special. A dresser at one corner of the room, his bed in the middle, a closet at another corner of the small room, and a picture of Granny Smith, a much younger Applejack and Big Macintosh, and two ponies the two have never seen before. Possibly Big Macintosh's parents.

"Now go get it." Twilight said, giving Spike a light push forward.

"What!?" Spike cried out in shock.

"Shhhh!" The purple mare put a hoof to her lips, shushing him.

"Oh, sorry," He said in mock apology. "I meant, 'What!?'

"I said, 'Go get it.'"

"Why can't you get it?"

"Because life's not fair, Spike. Now go get the dang doll."

Spike sighed a he shambled his way to the stalion's bed. The stallion in question had his arms wrapped around the old doll, with a bit of drool hanging on his lip. Spike grabbed the doll by the head and slowly tugged it inch by inch out of the stallion's forearms. And ever so gently, he pulled it free. Spike couldn't help but smile a little. That is until he turned around to see his delusional sister, who practically looked like Screw Loose if she escaped Ponyville Hospital. Spike sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"I got it." The baby dragon said weakly.

"Great job, Spike!" The princess smiled.

"Can we go now?"

Twilight nodded her head vigorously.

Spike managed a small smile and took a step towards her.

CREAK.

"Oh shi-"

And then Big Mac sat straight up.

'Oh no...', Spike winced.

Big Macintosh looked bewilderedly at the two of them.

Twilight blew a raspberry at him.

"Uh, Big Mac, uh," Spike gulped. "we, can um, explain."

"W-what...WHAT THE BUCK!?"

Suddenly, Spike was enwrapped within Twilight's aura and being dragged through the air. The purple alicorn ran out of Big Macintosh's room and around the rest of the house shouting, "Runrunrun! Abort! Abort!", all the way. When she finally bursted out the front door, Spike could hear AppleJack shouting,"What in tarnation!?", among the many cries and shouts of the Smith family.

'At least it's over...' Spike thought tiredly.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight Sparkle woke up early in the morning with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. She stretched her muscles and cracked her back.

"Wow, that was great," Twilight said contently. "I haven't slept like that since I was filly."

She turned her head to see Spike sleeping in his basket, hugging Smarty Pants tightly. The pony couldn't help but let out a 'D'aww' at the adorable sight. Smiling, she turned towards the door to (hopefully) find the kitchen. When suddenly a thought entered her mind.

'How in the hay did he get Smarty Pants back!?'

Author's Note:

I don't even know, man. I tried.

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The Angry Dango of Doom

The Angry Dango of Doom #1 · Feb 7th, 2015 · · ·

"If we take the front entrance, somepony could here us! Just think about how creaky and noisy the floorboards are!" The purple pony explained. "Plus, the door's probably locked."
Hear would be used there mate :)
Colt would describe a young horse, This case Big Mac would be a stallion.
Funny story. Liked and Favorited.

Comment posted by Wilfred Warfstache III deleted Feb 7th, 2015

Wilfred Warfstache III

Wilfred Warfstache III #3 · Feb 7th, 2015 · · ·

Hello, I am Fiction Critic and I will be nitpicking your story. Now don't take it as an insult it is purely for humor.

Here we go!

Wilfred Warfstache III

Wilfred Warfstache III #4 · Feb 7th, 2015 · 1 · 2 ·

"...ike? Spike?"
"...Spike?"
"Spike!"
And then Spike fell out of his basket.

Damnit Twilight, let sleeping dragons lie.

"Sleeping? How could I sleep at a time like this!?" Twilight practically shouted.

Twilight no

Spike looked up in confusion. Why was Twilight acting so strange? But, then his eyes came upon his sister's hair and he had his answer. Her hair was twisted and tangled, strands poking out in different directions. And in the light, her eyes glowed brightly. Her pupils were shrunken and her right eye twiched ever so slightly.
Spike had seen this before.
'Oh no...', he thought, 'not again.'

Damn she popped a molly!

"Twilight, you're acting....weird. Those pills made you crazy! You need to go to bed."

Or maybe it's acid.

"Seriously," Spike replied, quirking an eyebrow. "This is the best you've got?

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Spiked sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, so, let me get this straight, you want to break into-"
"Not break into!" Countered Twilight. "We're going to simply sneak in without them knowing."

Which is breaking in Twilight. Smart pony fails logic 101

That's why it's called, Operation: G.O.D, Operation: Get Our Doll."

Roll credits, oh wait.

"Okay, once again. You want to sneak into AJ's house, go into Big Mac's room, then get back your-"
"Our!"
"Our doll."
"See? It's the perfect plan."
"No. It's the complete opposite of perfect."

Damn, that acid fucks with ya, eh Twilight.

"Oh, Spike, I really wish you would stop being so negative." The purple pony princess said as she adorned a full-body, black suit, which only had an opening for her head.

This is beginning to sound familiar.

"Too late!" Twilight then cast a spell in which a second black suit, Spike-sized, of course, appeared on his body.

Getting my memory back here.

'Don't worry, Spike,' The purple drake thought to himself, 'All you need to do is tolerate her craziness a little longer and you'll be fine...

That's what every married man says while he crys himself to sleep at night.

This feels like deja vu all over again, Spike thought

I told ya so.

"You need to exercise more." Commented Spike.
Twilight, unfortunately, was to tired to say or even think of a witty comeback. Instead, she held up a hoof as she regained her breath. "Just....Wait...Wait a second." She panted.

That acid is a bitch, ain't it?

"Wait!" Twilight cried,

Noponby heard anything at all.

Spike looked around nervously, not sure if he should follow the mare or not. He took a few steps backwards, then forwards once more. He bit his lips as he shifted his eyes from right to left in his internal battle. But, ultimately, he gave up and started climbing after Twilight.

No Spike, don't fall under the influence!

"Now go get it." Twilight said, giving Spike a light push forward.
"What!?" Spike cried out in shock.

Spike the whipping boy...erm dragon.

"Oh, sorry," He said in mock apology. "I meant, 'What!?'
"I said, 'Go get it.'"
"Why can't you get it?"
"Because life's not fair, Spike. Now go get the dang doll."

Twilight is a dick to baby dragons.