Cell

by Levitating Piez

Revenge of Justin Bieber

As we rounded the corner, the rain clouds began to lighten their downpour until the rain was so fine and grey, you could barely even see it. I sighed at the wheel, leaning backwards slightly. My legs were aching from running from the crushed theater and my lungs burnt with the dust sifting through the car. There are those dumb things people say when they think things couldn't get any weirder. That…was what I said. “Well, today couldn't get any weirder.” Then the crash, the thump, the groan.

After meeting three ponies today, I could guess what it was. I was wrong. Spike sat there, in a daze with bags of rubbish spilled and scattered around him. "What happened…?” he groaned, rubbing a deep purple bruise on his head at the base of his scales.

“Bet you ten bits he fell through one of Pinkie’s portals,” Cell exclaimed boldly.
“
You ok, Spike?” I asked, unwinding my window and poking my head through the gap.

“How do you know my name?!” Spike squawked, turning to Pinkie, and then gasping. “Did…did this human kidnap you?!”

“No way, she’s cool! She helped me out of an awful concert, along with Cell and Vinyl, and now she’s practically risking her whole life just to get us back home!”

“W-what?! Who said anything about me risking my life?!” I butted in.

“Can I trust her?” Spike questioned warily, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Yeah, totally!”
Spike gave a reluctant sigh, then scrabbled for the door and managed to pull himself up into the passenger seat. I muffled a laugh at how ridiculously short he was, fixated my eyes on the road and set off.

“Any of you want a peppermint?” I offered, humming under my breath.

“If a stranger in a car offers you candy aren't you meant to…like…kick them and run away?” Spike said, in the most serious of tones.

“I guess that’s a no then.”
The ride was surprisingly quiet and calm. Vinyl was listening to her beats, Cell stared out of the window, and Pinkie beat boxed along to the dubstep. I arrived at the street of my friend and smiled as we parked up. The three ponies and one small dragon followed me up to the door. I rang the bell with a grin, eagerly anticipating the shock and disbelief that would be painted across my friend’s face. There was a long, painful pause. Stubbornly, like the camel I am, I pressed the bell with all my force and tilted my head against the wall, gritting my teeth, irritated.

“TOO BUSY READING FANFICTION!” came a stifled call from the upstairs floor.

“I've got new pony merchandise,” I replied casually, smirking confidently.

“ONE SECOND!” There was the clatter of headphones against a desk, then the thudding noise of a teenager racing downstairs. The door swung open to reveal my friend, glasses askew on his nose, his hair rumpled and fluffy.

“Hey, where’s the pony stu…ff…”
My friend (John) took one look at the ponies beside me, and then fixed me with a cold stare. He fainted clean away.
A few minutes later, John woke up, glasses illuminated with the lamplight. I had arranged him on the sofa with his limbs splayed out and head tilted to the left. The ponies stood awkwardly around, unsure of what to do in a situation like this. I didn't blame them. They were in a stranger’s house with a human they’d only met a few hours ago. Meanwhile, Spike had raided John’s candy stash and was demolishing every wrapped good in sight. I rolled my eyes. John yawned as if he had been taking a pleasant nap or something relaxing like that.

“What sorts of drugs were you hiding on you to make me see a pony, standing at my front door?”

“There were no drugs, Pinkie Pie is still here.”

“This is…just a fanboy dream, right?”

“Eenope.”
John gave a tired sigh and flopped onto the cushions. “Hey there, figment of my imagination,” he greeted Cell, plastering a smile onto his face “What’s your name?”

“…Cell.” Cell gave John an even weirder look than she had given me.

“Right, right. Aw, wait, what, SPIKE! C’mon man, that’s my candy!”

“Was,” Spike corrected him, swallowing the remainders, wrappers and all.

“Look, John, these ponies need to get home. They just got spat out of a portal that Pinkie made,” Pinkie bared her teeth in a proud grin “and you’re pretty much the only one that can help! You’re the one creating the portal! The Elements of Harmony depend on you. Ponyville’s cupcakes depend on you. EQUESTRIA’S DUBSTEP DEPENDS ON YOU! Uhm…Rarity’s fanmail depends on you. Spike sends, like, all of it.”

“WHAT?” Spike’s head flipped out of the candy dish where he had been trying to, in vain, scrape up the crumbs of sweets stuck to it.

“The pressure is too much!” John wailed mouth wide open in a silent scream. Why had he ever even agreed to be my friend?

“Come on, we believe in you, John! You can do it!” Pinkie sang, twirling her for-hooves around and performing a complicated dance.

“Uh…yeah, you can do it John,” Cell cheered flatly, keeping her eyes on a shelf of books. Vinyl was too absorbed in sorting through a selection of CDs to contribute to our conversation.

“Fine. But…don’t touch anything. Or mess up my Pokémon game; I’m on the last gym!”
Cell surveyed the room. It was full to the brim of the usual geeky stuff you would expect from a stereotype like my friend. Then, we came up to a swirling pink thing on the west wall. “There it is,” John said proudly. “I don’t know if it works though yet, it just randomly began swirling like that a couple of hours ago, but I hid under my bed. Just to make sure it didn't explode or anything.” I let off an exasperated puff of air.

“Y’know guys, I've had a fun time, vandalizing and destroying a theater and nearly killing one of the world’s most popular singers. We should do this again sometime, but for now, it’s adios from me.” After I had spoken, we all heard a cracking noise from the opposite wall. The thin, ominous lines grew rapidly thicker and longer, stretching across the wall until it collapsed in a pile of cement and bricks. I’d seen a lot of cement and bricks today. It was a mob of raging, ragged fans all swarming around a gigantic, mutant Justin Bieber.

“Holy crud,” John whispered, visibly suppressing the urge to vomit.

“We found a bunch of toxic waste and stuff dumped in the lake nearby! Now we've built him up bigger, better, and even more alluring than ever!” one particularly grubby girl screamed.

“Guys, the only way to defeat this monstrosity is to use the power of ponies and dubste- I mean friendship,” I hissed to my compadres.

“Right!” Pinkie yelled enthusiastically, eyes bright. The power of dubstep was unbeatable!

Author's Note:

This chapter isn't brilliant. Oh well, enjoy!

Comments

[Octavia Harmony]

Very good story. The first paragraph was a very enjoyable read for me, for some reason. Your writing is just as good as any top-tier writer. It seems like you need to get into the flow of things such as learning how to spell Fluttershy or making longer chapters and you'll be amazing. An editor wouldn't hurt, either. You have a good grasp of all the spelling, punctuation, and stuff, but you have a few slight errors with the more trivial stuff and an editor can teach you that kind of stuff.

Personally, I (and a large portion of FIMFiction) am not very passionate about Human/Pony relations when the humans know about the show. Just doesn't seem right, for me. But that is just for me. I'll be interested in seeing you write other stories, I can only imagine how good they'll be. Try some other categories, maybe? Or try starting off with one-shots like Twilight trying coffee or something?

[Levitating Piez]

4594979 Thank you so much, that was a brilliant review. I'm never sure how to spell pony names I'm currently planning a one shot. But, wow, thanks, that was a really positive and helpful comment!

[Levitating Piez]

4599075
She will forever be Vinyl to me

[Luminous Paradox]

Haha