lunakilla98
Joined 21st Jun, 2014 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Geez.... So many dislikes in less than 15 mins...
That's an academy record.
Had to say it but for your story...
Hmm... Well the only simple thing I can really say is to think about what you're writing before posting... That is all... And its not to offend you or anything.
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(Edit) One down vote already? I wasn't trying to give constructive criticism here anyway. let's see how many I can get...
(Re-Edit) now lets see my down votes...
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No worries man I know this story isnt really good but no harm in trying right?
Sometimes when writing you have to get a bad idea out before you can write good ones I hear that good writers know how to write bad stories but honestly I really didnt care what people think about it I just didnt want to be called a loser like so many people do
4582498 no ones calling you a loser.... Meh some people just have fun with this .... Tbh . I did buy commenting... But I do suggest you relook over this story and think what can you do to make it better or even what else can you do other than this concept you've put on the chopping block here
Congrats, this is the 4th worst rated clopfic on this site
4582514 well punishment is do where its do hu :D no worries I had to get this bad idea out
the next story i plan on actualy having my friends (on other sites like Da look over it) before I post it here sound cool?
4582543 hmm... I believe that bad ideas are to be written down in a isolated place. But then again you don't know it was a bad idea until you notice it or someone else does. Most likely you'll spot it first but what I can say is that its nice to know that you're not raging at the reader for a product you've made.
4582559 Yea raging at someone for saying your story sucks doesnt help the situation ^^()
4582518 Thank you I plan on editing it if you would like to put input about what i can change please let me know in a calm fashion and I will love your help :)
4582564 yep exactly well for you my good friends I think that this idea wasnt the best but I would suggest the writers guide this site has so you can better your writing.
4582580 alright thank you can you please link it to me so i can check it out and add it to my favorites?
writing guide ... Just click on it and you'll be there in an instant.... It's a very helpful tool for beginners at writing fanfics
4582604 Thank you this will help me alot ^^ I hope to make a better story maybe i should delete this one and start from scratch till i am better
4582576 Might I suggest a couple links:
FiMfic Writing Guide
Bad Seed's (Hopefully) Helpful Writing Tips For Writing On FimFiction
Study them. Live them. Breathe them.
4582623 Thank you very much :) I appreciate the help
4582498 Nah its fine, shit posts happen, and life goes on. So long as you learn something from this(but probably not from me
) you can go on to make great stories in the future. 
4582629 Honestly I found your post to be funny XD thanks i needed a good laugh.
Laughter is always the best when something like this happens
4582640
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4582649 Thank you so much ^-^
You're taking all this criticism very well.
Very admirable. If I was in your position, I would've deleted the story and never write again. After crying in a corner for a couple of days.
So, you know, good job and keep trying :)
4583790 thank you I have written other stories on my deviant art but I always welcome criticism from any one it's a honor to have help from a awesome community like this I love the brony fan base and I love the people who make it happen :) they aren't horrible people who go out of there way to make people cry for there bad writing they help and make you feel better about your self :)
In my opinion yes this story sucks right now but with the help of everyone it can be fixed and made into a better story :)
4582896 I dont blame em lol its a pre measure so they dont like a actual bad story but hey life trucks on :)
4582518
Uhh, what? There are more than four fics tied for last place (with 100% down votes), so when you wrote that comment this fic was either equal last or better than fourth last if it had even one up vote.
By now, with a ratio of 16:32 (or 1:2) up/down there are plenty of fics worse rated than this one.
4584547 The stats change as fics gain up and downvotes. He hained upvotes, so he went up in the rankings. At the time I viewed, it had a 0:16 ratio. It now has a 1:2 ratio.
4584547 YES IT GOT INTO A TOP TEN WORST XD i dont really mind at all actualy im amazed its getting attention XD
Luna, I'm going to be frank with you. You have a good idea for a story, but a bad execution, you need to space out between the separate character dialogue. And grammar is your friend.
That is all, end transmission!
4587474 I know thank you very much I am working on editing the story as we speak
4587678 Well alright, thank you.
4592204 no problem ^-^
When do you think the next chapter will be ready.
4610364 I'm trying to get time to my self right now but I am busy in all maners ill have it done soon I promise
Ponyville*
their*
Applejack*
You appear to be neglecting commas and apostrophes.
Applejack's* voice was loud and very authoritarian.
Twilight soon saw the apple stand. As she approached, however, she was a bit confused at why Big Mac, Applejack's older brother, was trying to separate something, but she couldn't tell what it was. She soon noticed mares and stallions moving away from the stand. Soon, she heard Applejack's voice.
Basic grammar and punctuation changes need to be done with this story.
Honestly, this story is rather poor quality, but I'm not going to be too harsh, seeing as this is, as you claim, your first story.
A few tips;
Try not to include incest. You may have no problem with writing about it, but some people have a problem with reading it. Unless you're writing for a specific audience, then try not to write about it, as it is a touchy subject.
Try not to rush the story. Try to set up the scene by painting an image in your reader's mind with words. For instance;
4650970 thank you :)
You ever gonna no to make another chapter I really hope so