My name is Twilight Sparkle. I travel with the Doctor but, Equestria is in danger. Mysterious creatures traveled to Canterlot. It's up to me, my friends, and The Doctor to save Canterlot and Equestria.
I am a giant nerd for mlp, doctor who, and pandas.
My name is Twilight Sparkle. I travel with the Doctor but, Equestria is in danger. Mysterious creatures traveled to Canterlot. It's up to me, my friends, and The Doctor to save Canterlot and Equestria.
Fuck doctor who.
4711433 You saw the name of this fic, its hardly fair for you to say that!
Okay, new Doctor Whooves fic.
1. It is spelled Princess Celestia not "Celstia".
2. It is "Allons-y" not "Allon-y". It's french, meaning "Let's go".
3.
When writing dialogue, you should place a comma at the end of the quotation unless the sentence ends with "?", "!", or "...". If it is the end of the paragraph too, don't place the comma.
Correct grammar:
This sentence should end with a period.
This should be "meanwhile" which means: "at the same time". Instead of "while".
Should have a comma after "Yes" (after the s and before the ")
These are run on sentences.
No. The Doctor never uses violence. No. Never. Not in his character at all.
Period after stone. Before the ".
There should be a space after the comma. The period should have a space after it and no space in front of it.
No space before the colon. Also, rule one is obviously "The Doctor lies". (See series 5 for confirmation, as stated by River Song).
In an emergency situation, he would only say his name, there's no need for him to explain his species at all.
How the heck does Twilight know what a Time Lord is?
Periods after "impossible" and "me".
Commas after "anywhere" and "somewhere".
No period after the question mark.
It is "a while". With a space.
You mean "liquidy" (slang word). Liquidity is an economic term.
Run on sentence.
Should have commas after "that", "Crystal", and "said".
It is "We'll" not "Well".
A lot more problems, multiple spelling and grammar errors, as well as some blank white spaces at the end of chapters 2 and 3.
It's not the best, but not the worst either. It's sort of average for a new Doctor Whooves fic. Follows a lot of the cliches, nothing that really stands out except that odd villain in chapter 2.
Still, better than a lot. Hope you take my advice and become a better writer from it.
4711570
Correction: It's not in Ten's character. Nine (my personal favorite) had no problems wishing death upon the last Dalek. And Eleven... Well... Remember a town called Christmas?
4711433 Why are you even hea-
Oh, wait.
I just broke a basic rule of the Internet: Never feed the trolls.
I don't understand the story...
I CLAIM THE FIRST COMMENT FOR THE BULLSHIT COMMUNITY AND THE NERDS
4711712 I'm not trying to troll I just can't stand this ego esentric moron. And his stupid British accent it's infuriating.
4717095 preech it brother Dr.who sucks!
4718042 It sounds like your just being a troll, or else you wouldn't even bother to be here.
4719358 what can I say I'm just scrolling threw see doctor who and leave my opinion in the comment you obviously don't know what trolling is.
4719358 there are haters and then trolls haters honestly dislike something and trollers feel indifference of the subject and pretend to dislike it. If I were a troll I'd be pretending to hate Dr.who (which I really do that guy is retarded). To seek a negative reaction such as you.
4722435 Okay.
I still fail to see why you are even here, knowing what it was about before even clicking.
Now, I'm all for giving my two cents on a subject, but I wouldn't ever go to, say for example, a music video for a country song and outright say "This song sucks!" I would have no reason to be there to make that claim, as that is not something I enjoy.
Now, for whatever reason I'm there for and HAVE to comment for some reason (country lover is going to stab my Fluttershy plush- I SHOULD'VE USED A FAVORITE PONY EXAMPLE... That would have been easier...- or something) again-no matter how much I dislike country music- I cannot say "Country Music sucks! Their voices aggravate me". Regardless of what I'd say, I'd have to be courteous to the fans that enjoy that style of music.
Do you understand where I 'm coming from?
4722617 well if you put it that way I guess I should have thought of what I said before I said it. :)
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