Chapter 10
It was a gorgeous day in Ponyville. The sun streamed down in bright rays that spread a warm tingling sensation wherever they hit. The smallest of gentle breezes wafted by, preventing one from becoming uncomfortably hot under the brilliant radiance and keeping a perfect temperature. It was all the benefits of curling up indoors, underneath a sunbeam from a window, with the addition of fresh air and the smell of grass and wildflowers that the wind carried with it.
Perfect day for a picnic, Twilight thought to herself as she started laying out the blanket and supplies. In addition to the usual sandwich fare, there was a variety of puddings, small cakes, and pastries that looked especially delicious. She saw her picnic partner approaching over the hill and gave a quick wave.
Rainbow Dash waved back as she slowed her approach and landed elegantly beside Twilight before placing a quick kiss on her cheek. Twilight blushed and felt her knees tremble a bit. It was silly how much she still reacted to the simplest things. How long had they been dating now?
"That is still the cutest thing ever." Dash unleashed a few restrained giggles at her. It was the most beautiful sound in the world to Twilight. "Wow, this looks delicious! Let's get started!"
They both happily started in on their lunch, but Twilight couldn't even taste the food. She was far too occupied stealing glances over at the beautiful pony next to her to concentrate on anything else. She caught Dash glancing back at her as well, a smile on her face. A beautiful cyan wing reached out and gracefully wrapped around Twilight's shoulder before gently pulling her in. She gave a deep sigh of bliss as she was pressed firmly against the warm, soft side of her marefriend. She never wanted to move from this spot again.
"I love you Rainbow Dash," Twilight said as she nuzzled into Dash's chest.
"Ha! I kinda figured that out by now. You say it all the time."
"I can't help it, it's true. I want to keep saying it and never stop. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I-" Twilight was interrupted by a kiss that set her mind and body on fire. Strong legs and wings wrapped her in a loving cocoon and pulled her in tight while her tongue danced and her mind melted into incoherent bliss. When it finally ended, she was left in an impossible combination of satisfied serenity and a burning hunger for more. How was it she could feel contentment and avarice at the same time?
"I love you too Twilight. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I want to stay with you forever."
The look of sincere love shining behind those magenta eyes filled Twilight with so much joy that it actually hurt. It felt as though she might burst from too much happiness. Truly, she must be the luckiest pony in the world. To have such a wonderful marefriend whom she deeply loved, and knew loved her just as much in return.
It was still hard to wrap her head around that concept. Dash loved her back! The one pony she wanted to be near wanted nothing but the same! She knew she could never possibly hope to deserve such happiness. She held her love tight, as if afraid she might blow away in the wind. As if sensing her thoughts, Rainbow Dash bent her head to whisper into her ear.
"I promise I'll never leave. I'll always be here. Always."
Twilight shuddered as Dash nipped at her ear and then proceeded to nuzzle her neck. It had been perfect, these past few weeks. How long had it been again? Twilight found she couldn't quite exactly recall how much time had passed since that night when Dash had realized her feelings for her. Come to think of it, the whole event had been kind of a blur. She couldn't really remember what had happened. The small concern was quickly pushed away as she went back to enjoying Dash's affection. The past was gone, better to look forward to their wonderful future together.
The kisses that Dash was laying on her neck were increasing in speed and intensity. More of them involved teeth. Twilight felt her heart rate increasing rapidly, and her breath was starting to come out in short gasps. She caught Dash's eyes in hers again, and saw a fire burning within them. Twilight used her magic to unceremoniously fling the sundry dishes away, not caring where they landed as she cleared a space for them on the blanket.
Flinging her front legs around Dash's neck and pulling them both down onto the blanket, Twilight pushed forward for another kiss. This time, something felt...off. Not that Dash was responding with less passion, it just felt like Twilight's senses were being dulled, numbed. She didn't feel the lips against her own, and even the wings wrapped around her started to feel less substantial. She couldn't taste anything either, couldn't find any satisfaction.
Twilight pushed in harder, pouring more passion into the kiss, but every tactile sensation felt less real, more like the ethereal brush of a ghost. Panic gripped her as her vision swam, and the details of her surroundings began to blur. She realized that what she was tasting wasn't quite the blankness of air, but more like the empty taste of the fabric of her pillow case. Finally realizing what was happening, she tried to hold onto Dash as tightly as she could as the landscape started to dissolve around them, crying and screaming, and trying to hold the world together for a few more precious seconds. Dash seemed worried as well, a look of pain and confusion stuck on her face. Twilight's hooves passed through thin air as Rainbow Dash turned to smoke in her arms, leaving only a rough and blurry outline that could barely be seen.
"Please don't leave me." Those were the last words spoken by the phantom Rainbow Dash before the dream ended.
Twilight's eyes remained closed. She stared at the back of her eyelids, willing herself to fall back asleep, trying in vain to bring the world back to life.
NO! I have to go back! I have to go back now! She's waiting for me! I can't leave her behind! Please!
Tears leaked out from behind her closed eyelids as she buried her face in the pillow that lay wrapped in her arms, corner damp from where she had been chewing on it.
A year. It had been a full Celestia damned year since that letter. She thought it was behind her.
The use of letters had turned out to be a good decision. Dash and herself had managed to continue on as if the whole incident had never occurred. There was no awkwardness between them as neither of them ever brought the subject up. All that needed to be said had been said and they had continued their close friendship without a hitch. Twilight was incredibly grateful for that.
Neither of them had found anypony else yet, a point that had occasionally led her objections to resurface in her mind, but they had finally settled over time. It seemed that finally confessing her feelings had given her some kind of closure on the situation. At least she finally had an answer, as much as she disliked it. She would always care for Dash, but as the days turned to weeks and weeks to months, she thought about her less and less. There was a point where Twilight realized she had gone almost a whole two days without thinking about Rainbow Dash once. She could even hang out with Rainbow Dash without the horrible melancholy setting in and ruining the rest of her evening when it was over.
Life went on. She had adventures with her friends, and they had even saved Equestria again from yet another horrible, apocalyptic disaster using the power of friendship. She continued to look after the library while she studied and researched. It seemed her wounds were finally healed, and she had finally found her chance at peace. Until now.
With one horrible, wonderful dream, her subconscious had torn all the wounds back open. All the feelings had come rushing back, blazing brighter and stronger than they ever had before, as if making up for lost time. Twilight sobbed into her pillow. She had been so sure this time. So sure that she had moved on, that she could have a chance to be happy again, and it had all been cruelly torn away. Just as the dream Dash had disappeared from her arms.
How long is it going to take?! Another year? Two years? Ten?! I can't do it! Celestia help me, I just can't do it!
It wasn't as if she had a choice though. There wasn't a thing she could do to change her situation. She felt helpless as she stared into a future of unending misery. Crushed beneath hopelessness and despair, something in Twilight's mind finally snapped. A small voice she had been ignoring pushed its way to the front of her consciousness and spoke.
Look at you. Pathetic. Why don't you go out there and get her?
I can't. She just doesn't love me. There's nothing I can do.
You know that's not true. You know exactly what you can do to fix this entire situation. You've always known.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Liar! You know exactly what to do. You've just been too much of a coward to follow through! You have the power, but you lack the force of will!
NO! I can't! I'm not supposed to do that! Never again!
Why not?
Because it's wrong! Horribly unethical and wrong!
And there it is. You still care more about staying a "good and ethical pony" than you do about being with Dash. Shouldn't that be the ONLY thing that matters? It seems as if you just don't care enough.
NO! There's nothing I care more about!
As long as you hold yourself back with the chains of what's considered "ethical", you'll continue to be miserable. You're only torturing yourself in the end.
Was she really considering this? If she went through with this, nopony could ever know. Friends and family would disown her, Celestia would probably have her locked away in a dungeon. Twilight felt her last bit of resistance draining away.
I...okay. But will it work?
The other voice in her head, the one that sounded exactly like her own, replied with what sounded like a smile, if voices could have smiles.
Of course it will. Works...Every...Time.
Uh oh........
That song in your head: I'm guessing something by Jeffthestrider.
Damn I wish certain cartoons I'm currently watching were as well-written as what you're doing here.
the torture!! it's killing me!!
I can't wait for what comes next!
Want it need it?
Some unicorn spells should have never been devised
This one in particular will leave you traumatized
If you need an example, I'm the perfect paradigm
The Want it Need it spell, works every time.
Struck by her incantation
Charmed by her sweet sensation
I cant resist,i can't disagree
(want it) i (need it) can't
(want it) break (need it) free
And, *ding*, there's that Dark tag I breezed over.
...I'll be under my protective blanket of fear...
OMG!!! want it... need it!
CANT WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER! keep up the horribly lovably torturing!
Cliffhanger again... Twi got tardy again
Awwwww hell yeah.
Oh man...Not the Want it; Need it spell, Twilight D:>
Oh, and it's 'Want It; Need It", by JefftheStrider
Somepony is not thinking this thoroughly...
Well, there's two things I know Twi can cast:
Want it, need it, or she can make a love poison...
The Want It, Need It thing will make EVERYPONY however want her, so thats probably out of the question,
and for the love poison, she has to get a tuft of cloud, a rainbow's glow, and a pegasus feather...
all of which can be acquired by only a pegasus...
and Twi only knows two well enough to ask them to get it for her:
RD, who's out of the question, and Fluttershy, who, when seeing what ingredients she's using and the reason, will either refuse or try to correct Twi...
U mad Twilight? I like it when you are crazy :D
Great idea :D
Welp, I can already determine she's gonna' fuck up. Badly.
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Not love poison. Actually, since I sat on this idea a long time before I started writing, I kinda came up with it just before that episode came around. Then I thought "crap. well now I'll have to justify ignoring that."
As for the various unpleasant side effects of both those options, I promise they have already been considered and will be addressed. Twilight's not about to suffer an extreme loss of competency.
Twilight, I'd like you to meet my friend Mr. Dahmer. He...tried the same damn thing.
I love this fic, but the problem with this chapter (I feel) is that the sudden tossing of ethical chains was too abrupt. In previous chapters we saw her contemplating less than ethical things, but then she always walks away from such thoughts and yet here it's implied that she just threw it all away without a second thought. To me, I was more expecting a slow degradation or of her convincing herself some unethical thing would be to RD's benefit. Despite all that, I think I'll reserve judgement for now and see where you take it all. You've surprised me in the past when I thought you made odd choices (mainly Fluttershy's confession) so I'm definitely reserving judgement to see where you take it all.
uh oh. i have a bad feeling about this one.
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I was hoping the previous incidences would show her reservations and be seen as a slow escalation to a breaking point. Don't worry though, she's far from being done with second thoughts on the matter, just leaning more towards action instead of inaction now.
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It definitely did that, but the fact that she pulled back every time it seems less so you know? But that's reassuring to hear and I'm definitely looking forward to the future chapters.
Stay good, Twilight!
i got a feeling that twilight is gonna turn into this:
appropriate connection
I read the beginning, and I had to go back to Chapter 9 to see if I missed something. I got really confused with Dash and Twilight being together, but it being a dream made a whole lot of (non)sense :D
I think there's going to be a murder. Just saying.
This is not good... In other words, this is horrible. Someone's going to be forced into a relationship/die/whatever.
Wow... and there it is again. Lesson Zero! Twilight at her most insane. And you just topped it.
no no NO not the want it need it spell.(screams)
well, THAT was interesting alright...
And NOW I remember why i read the epilogue and walked away. Yikes. Welp, commited now I suppose.
Poor girl probably should'a talked to Celestia.. oh.. a year ago? Two? Or at least Rarity.
Oh god no. Oh god no. Oh god no.
How can you be so cruel and sleep at night?! ;A;
OH YOU C***!
How are you this cruel? You're like me, except you drag things on a lot longer than I do. I actually love this fiction because of it, many man tears were shed.
Despite the shortness of the chapter, I thought the dream sequence almost went on too long. It was nice, having that diabetes-inducing dream after the end of the last chapter, the dissonance really works, but it was obviously going to be a dream and the time spent getting to that revelation just felt a bit much.
That said, I disagree with the person from a year ago, I don't know what is coming next, but I think you've done an excellent job foreshadowing Twi's morals breaking down until she tries something crazy. I'm not shocked by where this is headed, but I'm very interested. The exact right amount of foreshadowing.
WHAAAAAA?!
This has got to be a dream sequence. Its waaay to perfect not to be.
CALLED IT!!
And then that interal conversation. Eeyup, I see where this is going...
AND I AM SO EXCITED!!
a horrid feeling that someone else found the note... the note's contents sounding similar to what twilight told fluttershy...
The sound of the drums, Rainbow. Can you hear them?
Twilight is going insane! Woooooooooooooooh!
I am now picturing Nightmare-style Twilight
I...okay. But will it work?
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!