Epilogue
Twilight gently opened her eyes to her bedroom. She felt a comfortable warmth coming from her back. A cyan foreleg was wrapped tightly around her chest, and a matching wing lay gently draped over her side. She could see it gently rise and fall in time with the soft breathing she heard coming from behind her. Her lips still tingled at the memory of the passionate kiss they had shared. How it had felt like a flare going off in her brain before dissolving the rest of her mind into pure bliss. How it had ended all too soon, but quickly been replaced by another, and then another.
She remembered the fire that had grown inside both of them as they crashed into the bookshelves, knocking down books that still lay scattered around the floor downstairs. She remembered how they had continued their whirling tornado of amorous destruction all the way up the stairs. She blushed as she remembered what had happened next. How they had made up for all that lost time. She blushed even harder at the prospect of more later. After all, they had the entire weekend until Spike got back.
She had pulled it off. She finally had everything she wanted, and it was wonderful. It certainly hadn't been easy, and she had had her share of doubts, but in the end she had defied fate and earned her happy ending.
She knew others might disagree. They would call her a monster for what she had done. One of the worst criminals in Equestrian history. By some ponies' definitions, she was probably a rapist too. She didn't care what anypony else thought. She loved Dash, and Dash loved her. They made each other happy, and that was all that mattered. The love she saw in Dash's eyes was as real as anything else. The kisses they shared were real. The way Dash held her tightly, as if she would never let go. That was real. The happiness she made Dash feel when she squeezed her back. That was real, and it felt right. Let the world call her a monster, she didn't care. She knew that something that felt so right couldn't possibly be wrong.
"mmm...Twilight..." Dash mumbled in her sleep and squeezed tighter. "I love you."
Twilight smiled as she closed her eyes again. "I love you too, Dash."
Did I manipulate the last two Author's Notes to make this story show up as exactly 50,000 words? Maybe.
Edit Announcement: Now going to Everfree Northwest! I'll be the guy who looks like Harry Potter. Name tag won't list me as Ponyamorous, but will instead have my other, science related, username. If you see me, say hi!
Why didn't Twilight use the candle to make herself like Fluttershy? A good story but I think this would be a betrayal of friendship at about the same level of a date rape drug.
930522 nicely done.
Twilight smiled as she closed her eyes again. "I love you too Dash." And then luna throws the moon at her, because the cloud cover that night wasn't as thick as twilight thought.
Yeah... I'd be more inclined to say 'bad ending' myself, given that her Element will probably leap off her head and strangle her the next time she tries to use it.
930556
I kinda had the thought that it wasn't really something you could cast on yourself. Kinda like how do it yourself brain surgery isn't a very good idea.
I hate the ending because Twilight MADE Dash fall in love with her. Brainwashing love, I just can't stand
I loved the ending because it's, in essence, a happy ending. Poor Dash though, being forced to love someone you don't (didn't)
930557
All this talk of throwing moons makes me want to go play Skies of Arcadia again.
Well, I'm kinda surprised this ended so well for her, to be honest! Way to shatter my expectations! Morals aside, at least she got her reward after all she suffered, even if she had to give Dash an extra "nudge."
Very good story~
i.imgur.com/MfxjN.jpg?2
...You had something good going on too... To rank this ending, I think I'll put it up there with Mass Effect 3. I mean, it might have been longer but couldn't you have made dash fall in love with Twilight normally? like sorta after a long time(and many more chapters) and several conflicts, she realizes Twi is always there for her yada, yada, yada rather than simply. *POOF* Rainbow was enchanted and fell in love. That's kinda like an anti-climax no? At the very least, promise me this will backfire in the sequel, if there is going to be one, maybe when flutters in her pursuit for her love finds out the truth?
I'm surprised this worked out for Twilight in the end. Pleasantly surprised. I don't see anything horribly wrong in what Twilight did, and I think her reasoning in going through with her plan is quite sound. I'm happy for both Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
I can't decide if I should be disappointed in Twilight or if I should be patting her on the back for not giving up and going after what she wanted. Oh well. I can't really argue with the results, even if the means to get them were a little morally sketchy.
Well done, great story.
Sequel? Or perhaps a Bad End alternate ending?
It's been an interesting story this. I would probably call this ending a bad-good ending - everything works out for Twilight in the end, but her relationship with Dash is essentially one based on a lie. Sort of.
It was a great read.
Part of me was expecting Dash to become suspicious of her sudden incredibly strong interest in Twilight, eventually leading to Twilight confessing, though if she had, Dash may have been alright with it, considering the outcome.
930609
Mass Effect 3? Ouch...that's just ow....lets not throw around words we can't take back now.
I don't know, it seems to me that just having Dash come around naturally would seem like even more of an anticlimactic cop out. Maybe it's just me, but I would have rolled my eyes and gone "well isn't that just SO convenient". There would need to be something to precipitate that change anyway.
Or I could just go with the other reason, which is that I loved mucking around with ethically confused Twilight.
930648
As for a sequel. I might write one if I can get a couple plot threads straight. Particularly, how I want to handle Fluttershy's characterization. I left a few things open to build off of in case I do write one. And yes, a sequel pretty much would have to deal with the shit hitting the fan and Twilight going on the run. Would probably end up a lot darker. The biggest problem is that I made her so good at covering her tracks here that I'm trying to think of a way for her to be found out without it being a horribly contrived Diabolus ex Machina (I freaking hate those). I also don't know where I would ultimately take it ending wise. I've got some good ideas for scenes in the middle though.
That ending... Boy, did this story ever earn its 'Dark' tag.
930642 LOL also, dutifully noted, I take that back, nothing can compare to the horror of ME3.
On another note? What of the second part of my comment? Will there be a sequel? Will this come back to bite Twi in the ass?
930648
Was just editing right as you posted.
Ha, although if you did want to continue comparing it to ME3, I could then cite "artistic integrity" and claim success at having promoted "speculation" in the comment section. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
Making ponies suffer? A dark/sad twist to the Twi-Dash shipping pair?
Color me...crazy pink, but this shall likely be most interesting!
and sometimes the bad guy wins. Very dark, I liked how this ended. It is definitely beyond the normal and goes right into creepy/uncomfortable.
You've spelt chapter 13 "chapte"
To be honest, I was kind of disappointed by the ending. Twilight has just committed arguable one of the worst kinds of crime possible, yet she gets away with it. In later chapters she's spiralled down the moral scale at an alarming rate, and basically turned herself into the bad guy. Karma demands punishment!
Also, such a sudden victory leaves me feeling like the ending of the story was rushed. It feels like the setup that has built itself up so perfectly has been ruined by a swift and blurred conclusion. Unless, of course, you're planning a sequel. I could probably explain it better another time, but at the moment sleep beckons.
Either way this is still my favourite ship fic. Good luck with EqD!
-Sparklight
930827
I agree with you totally.
Honestly, this is the Dark end for the story without any doubt but we can question whenever the end justifies the means.
Don't get me wrong, you've nailed this down good given the concept of it and this was a first bitterish story for me.
For know, I suspect you do have a sequel in planning, mainly out of the sorta rushed end.
God I cant believe i'm saying this but Twilight has a point
Love is very overrated, she's not forced or anything, she released space for feelings on Dash's mind
if both are happy, what's the problem? Is Karma a two way street? in our real world, karma work?
8/10
A creative and unique story. I thoroughly enjoyed this. And you were brave enough to screw morals and go for a dark and twisted ending with a pinch of happiness. I respect that. Whilst not being the most fulfilling ending, I appreciate the fact that you had the balls to shock me with this, and it is now on my favourites list. 9.5/10
i'm so conflicted! i wanna be happy for twilight, but that mind augmentation seems wrong. damn it twalot, y u so complicated!
... Well.
I really enjoyed this story. I know what's it's like to be in love with someone who shuts you down. It sucks. It really does.
But here's the thing. The ending is really weird. Twilight mind rapes her best friend, everything "works out." Blah blah. So I decided my official headcanon ending is Chapter 9. In fact, after I first read Chapter 9, I was like, "So that's it then." Rainbow Dash breaks up with Applejack, but when Twilight tries to ask Rainbow Dash out, she gets shot down. Every part of the story has led to this painful moment! She goes to the cliff top, ready to through herself to the inevitable death below. And yet she stops. Despite her heart being shattered into pieces, she knows she wants to live. And so, she pulls herself up by her bootstraps and decides to live for another day. Life may not be as perfect or as happy as she wants it to be, but... it's enough. The End.
Great ending, bittersweet, but realistic and poignant. I'm not saying you were wrong to continue it the way you did, but... I just don't need the rest of the story.
I want a sequel. Please?
930579
damnit, now i want to go play skypirate too
I'll give you points for breaking from the norm. But sometimes the norm is there for a reason, you know?
How long will Twilight keep on until she finally, truly collapses under the weight of her conscience?
Well, your story will remain in Favorites and that should tell you something.
Looking forward to more.
While I fully enjoyed this entire story from beginning to end, and I loved every second of the angst and heartbreak that went through the "mane" 4 in this story, there is only one image that can properly summarize the ethics broken and changed in this story.
static.tumblr.com/lzewuzw/qRmlpzugk/5919_-_animated_gif_dean_winchester_monochrome_reaction_image_sam_winchester_supernatural.gif
I didn't exactly expect the story to end here. Thought Twilight would eventually be found out and the rest of the story would deal with the fallout. But if the story ends here, I wouldn't consider that bad, necessarily, because the uncertainty of this ending leaves the ethical for the reader, and the implication is that crimes often will slip by. And sometimes those crimes may be good.
I'll stop before I start rambling. Thanks for the read. Fukken saved.
I didn't exactly expect the story to end here. Thought Twilight would eventually be found out and the rest of the story would deal with the fallout. But if the story ends here, I wouldn't consider that bad, necessarily, because the uncertainty of this ending leaves the ethical for the reader, and the implication is that crimes often will slip by. And sometimes those crimes may be good.
I'll stop before I start rambling. Thanks for the read. Fukken saved.
What happened to Fluttershy?
Can there be a sequel, like this except Fluttershy tries getting Twilight? And like, there's an extensive love triangle, et cetera?
Downer ending, man.
You get a static.fimfiction.net/images/icons/thumb_up.png just for bucking expectations with that ending
For the last few chapters, I was hoping Twilight would come to her senses and not go through with it, but I have to admit, the way you went was well done and made for a good ending, even if it was a dark and "bad" one. Personally, I'd call it a bad ending for Twilight and Rainbow, because even though they're both happy, Twilight's seriously corrupted her ethics to get to that point. She knows most ponies would consider her actions wrong, and she doesn't care. Celestia's approval has always been so important to her, but I can't imagine Celestia would be too happy with her faithful student if she ever found out.
So I liked it, even though I didn't like it, if that makes sense.
Wow, I really was expecting this to come and bite her in the ass. But it didn't, and I'm surprisingly ok with that.
I've read through your comments, it seems that an overwhelming majority also thought it would, way to defy expectations and throw in a twist.
Go for the EQD, I think this would make it.
I agree that the ending is questionable, in as much that I thought in the epilogue Twilight would realize she's content with her day/weekend of fun with Dash and undo the spell then (and possibly erase Dash's memory, cuz I'm sure she could do that if she wanted). However, I also like this ending because of just how corrupted Twilight has become to allow herself to accept her love's false love as real love. (Does that make sense? haha)
If that all sounds negative, it's not. This is the ONLY shipping story I have found that I'm totally fine with and even enjoyed. I wasn't sure if I should put it in my favorites when I first found it. Now I believe it deserves that spot. Congratulations
930924
The problem is that Twilight implanted the idea. She went into Dash's mind and changed it to suit her own desires, and Dash did not consent to this. Twilight is treating Rainbow like a toy, not another pony. She's denying Dash the right to make her own choices because of her own selfish desires. Like I said before, karma demands punishment!
932946
That actually sounds way way worse to me. She'd be changing her mind without permissions twice, then tampering with memories. A weekend of fun, then wipe her memory and boot her out the door? A bit too date rapey for me.
932988
Well Twilight is a powerful magician, so it makes sense that she would make a good Karma Houdini. I also have a thing for sympathetic villain protagonists. I'm one of those people who thought Death Note would have been perfect if they just ended it after the first season finale.
Excellent. Your portrayal of the pain of unrequited love, the pacing of the entire story, the surprise ending, I could go on. I only noticed a few typos, places where you used handed as opposed to hoofed, (just ctrl-f for hand, you'll find them), and they certainly weren't nearly enough to put a dent in my enjoyment. You are seriously amazing, and I'm super glad your story got so popular. People ought to read this. Congratulations! I'll definitely be eagerly awaiting your next literary work!
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
932988
well, some change people's minds with money, others with flowers, but in a magical world .. jokes aside
I try to see on RD's view, she loves and is loved, to a outsider, is really creepy...but.....
this dilemma reminds me of a dragon age's quest (I think) where a homeless man was hit by a succubus, which slowly killed him but gave him a dream where he had everything he wanted.
In the end I had to choose to release him or let him die
sometimes, just sometimes, the sweet fable is preferable to the hard truth
933686
But they have to accept the gift, don't they? They have every chance to refuse. Offering something to RD to change her opinion is an outside influence provoking a reaction from her. Under the correct circumstances this reaction may cause the desired change in her opinion. What Twilight did was 'hack' into RD's mind and force that change to happen with no input or effort from RD. Technically, Rainbow Dash no longer exists. Twilight has some in and directly altered the way she thinks, and in doing so made her a different pony. She's basically killed Dash and replaced her with what she wanted Dash to be.
That's right. Just sometimes.
I'm oddly very satisfied with this ending, no complaints here. Story tags played out well. Part of me is happy with this ending, though another part wants to see what happens after this...
The way I see it *Feel free to call me evil or whatever* but if what Dashies feeling is *Real* shes happy, Twi is happy everyponys happy! Giving this story 5/5!
Okay, I'm in love with the ending. Like, seriously, seriously, seriously, happy with it because it seriously gets a reaction from the reader and it subverts what we expect to happen. I mean, damn! Fav'ed for the ending. There are even people debating the ending (I believe - I just skimmed it) in the comments section!
Deliciously dark. Absolutely twisted ending. I love it. That is how power no one is capable of wielding would go. You pulled off a "And they lived happily ever after" that just rings so awful and hollow it warms the black cavern that used to be my heart. Bravo.
934370
Yep. That's what I was thinking. Almost made it "Stupid sexy Sparkle" but that just sounded weird.
934767
Thanks. I was pretty certain the ending was gonna be polarizing in the comments.
934838
I love polarizing stories so definitely a tick in my book.
"and they all live happily ever after.... ...until the trial."
A bold choice of ending, and why, yes, jimmies are a'rustling.
I'm not nearly as concerned with a story having a moral, or even likable, protagonist as I am seeing what makes them tick and going on part of their journey, so you get all my spare thumbs for that!
What Twilight did is, to say the least, questionable and her perilous self-justifications probably herald future psychological implosion but we got to see how it all developed. So, hurrah!
(But passing over Fluttershy? After the thing with the rose petals? I can't get behind that. )
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933933
Free will; God's biggest mistake
There are so many things we did not choose, I really, really do not think another really makes much difference
for me, let Twilight have her happy ending, after all, is only a parallel universe in this world of fanfiction, one of many