Chapter 3
Chapter 3
One of the few benefits of crying yourself to sleep is that it tends to make you sleep like a log. After a night of deep and dreamless sleep, Twilight awoke feeling refreshed and at peace. In her half awake state, she enjoyed the rays of late morning sunlight that streamed through her bedroom window and left a pleasant warmth on her face. She knew it was going to be a bright day, full of promise, with a beautiful bright blue sky. The kind that Dash loved to take advantage of.
And just like that, her peaceful state burst like a soap bubble as memories of the previous day came flooding back. The announcement, the love that had filled Dash's eyes whenever she looked at Applejack, the kiss, Applejack's evil cackle as she twirled her mustache. No, that last part didn't happen. Her memory was starting to embellish a bit. She was fairly certain the news hadn't been accompanied by an actual record scratch either, as the music had already been turned off.
Twilight turned and pulled the covers over her head to shield herself from the hideous burning rays of the sinister torture device that Celestia had surely created to punish her for some past transgression. She hid safely inside her linen cocoon, sealing herself off from the cruel world that had the indecency to keep going, completely indifferent to her suffering, instead of coming to an end. She didn't need it. She would form a new world in here. The glorious nation of sheetland that she would rule over as princess. Admittedly, it did have a problem with rapidly rising carbon dioxide levels. She would have to call a committee to look into the possibility of air holes.
After several hours, followed by severe political unrest from the proletariat of the stomach, she decided to temporarily reopen limited diplomatic channels with Equestria in order to get lunch. She didn't bother to glance in the mirror or brush her hair. She didn't plan on going anywhere or seeing anypony today.
After a simple daisy sandwich, her mood was slightly improved. Having beaten back the hunger that had come from skipping breakfast, her mood had crawled from abysmal all the way up to simply terrible. It dropped right back down again when she glanced over at the garbage can where she had deposited the soaked fireworks. The fireworks she spent nearly two weeks researching and developing as a labor of love. That she had praised as her most inspired and brilliant of ideas. That now lay in the bottom of a trash can among coffee grounds and Spike's claw clippings. After summoning a spade and checking outside, she levitated the remains of her work out of the trash and carried them with her out the door and around behind the library.
She knew nopony was going to look through her garbage. Even if they did, they probably wouldn't recognize the purpose behind the soaked and misshapen packages of black powder. Still, she felt the need to hide the evidence. Evidence that she had ever been so foalish as to think this was a good idea. What had she been thinking?
She tore into the ground a bit more violently than necessary, until she had several small holes, each about two feet deep. Scattering the soggy packages among the holes, she shredded them a bit to further disguise their original forms before burying them. With the grass carefully pressed back into place, there was no sign of disturbance. Once torn to pieces, the fireworks had hardly displaced any earth at all. She gave a small sigh of relief, as if she were some kind of murderer who had just disposed of the bodies.
"Whatcha doin?"
Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin as she looked up to see Rainbow Dash hovering above her head. Every curse word in the unicorn's expansive vocabulary sped through her head on repeat. Under normal circumstances, the sight of Rainbow Dash would have brought joy, but these were hardly normal circumstances. Why hadn't she waited to do this at night?!
"GAH! How long have you been there?!"
"Just got here actually. Since you had to go home sick last night, I thought I'd drop by and check up on you today. Speaking of which, you still look pretty rough. What are you doing up and about out here?"
Part of Twilight was relieved that Dash hadn't seen anything incriminating. A second part was giddy that Dash cared enough to check up on her. A third part was aware of how disheveled she must still look. The rest of her was desperately trying to come up with an excuse to cover her flank and make the inquisitive pegasus go away.
"Actually, I am still pretty sick. I just came out here to gather some ingredients for tea." Eternally grateful for the wildflowers growing against the back wall of the library, she walked over and picked some. "Yep. Fluttershy is always going on about the benefits of herbal tea."
"Yuck. Well good luck with that smelly stuff. Anyway, I'm not doing anything today, so I was wondering if you needed any company since Spike is gone and I know you're all alone over here."
Dash wanted to spend time with her? Was offering to take care of her? Alone in her house? Yes!
"Oh no, I'm fine. Besides I'm probably terribly contagious right now."
What?! No! What are you doing traitorous lips?!
"Eh. I'll be careful. Besides, I'm not afraid of a few sniffles. It's no problem at all."
That was close. Now just say yes, head inside, and-
"No, really. I'll be okay. You should go spend some time with Applejack."
WHAT?!
"Nah. She's busy with her applebucking right now."
"Then you should go help her. I'm sure she'd appreciate it as a sweet romantic gesture."
STOP! WAIT! COME BACK DASH! DON'T GO!
It was too late. Rainbow Dash had already agreed, said goodbye, and was disappearing over the horizon. She had blown it spectacularly. Not only had she turned down an afternoon of Dash's undivided attention, something she would normally smack Celestia across the face for, she had subsequently sent her flying directly into Applejack's arms.
After bucking the side of the library as hard as she could in frustration, Twilight walked back inside. She made herself a second sandwich and a glass of water, and carried them up to her room. Setting them down next to her bed, she crawled back into her comfy cocoon. Diplomatic relations with the outside world had broken down and she was considering full sanctions.
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i don't care, short or long, just keep 'em coming
Nice concept, not one you'd see usually. The one small annoyance I have is how you italicise normal speach. Most tend to accociate italics with thought or dreams. Its just a personal preference though, so it doesn't really detract from the quality.
In response to your author's notes, I prefer longer chapters, about 3-5 thousand words, updated as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for me, I can't keep to those standards with my own stories.
Keep it up, mate! I'll be waiting for more.
Funniest chapter so far! Don't you dare stop writing
"nation of sheetland" comedic gold right there
What just happened?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esfjoTdIKmg
You've spelled "piece" where you meant "peace."
Quite the tonal shift. Funny stuff, but it seems quite out of place given what's lead up to it. And what's still happening.
Were you aiming for irony, in the lighter narrative tone contrasting with Twilight's emotional turmoil? It seems to me that you've struck flippancy, instead.
This is coming out sounding harsher than I'd meant. Sorry. If you'd like my trap shut, say the word.
If you've thoughts of a comedy in the works, I look forward to it.
You've done a nice job with the dialogue this time. Nice and clean.
This is beauty:
"It dropped right back down again when she glanced over at the garbage can where she had deposited the soaked fireworks. The fireworks she spent nearly two weeks researching and developing as a labor of love. That she had praised as her most inspired and brilliant of ideas. That now lay in the bottom of a trash can among coffee grounds and Spike's claw clippings. After summoning a spade and checking outside, she levitated the remains of her work out of the trash and carried them with her out the door and around behind the library.
She knew nopony was going to look through her garbage. Even if they did, they probably wouldn't recognize the purpose behind the soaked and misshapen packages of black powder. She still felt the need to hide the evidence. Evidence that she had ever been so foalish as to think this was a good idea."
OMFG TWILIGHT, you make me MAD!!!!1!!!1!!!111!!one
429935
Yeah, I've kind of left myself with a bit of a problem. I had planned to use italics for thoughts and inner monologue in the near future, but something made me think dialogue was supposed to be italicized. I got away with bolding thoughts here, but I don't think that will work for a page of internal debate. Most of all, I want some consistency with whatever I end up with.
431607
That's one of the more embarrassing typos.
I think I was kinda aiming for some bitter flippancy. I tend to get a bit snarky when depressed or overly stressed, so I though it might fit. Certainly don't have plans for a comedy tag just yet, though I might weave in a bit more dark humor whenever I need to pull back a bit for a breath before pounding on the suffocating despair again. This makes it sound far more thought out when I'm really just trying to figure out my natural writing style.
.
Twilight that was your chance to confess
Speaking of sandwiches, I'll make myself one now
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry in the corner. Good day.
have my babies
i479.photobucket.com/albums/rr157/antpogo/pony/11724020-20artist3Arlyoff20brilliant20letter20spike.jpg
One thing I have to ask about though... why is all of the speech in italics?!
Uh-oh... Either Twilight will tell RD and she'll be rejected, or RD will leave AJ for Twilight and that would be super awkward... Hmmm....
all hail sheetland!
seriously, this is like the best fanfic i've read for a year, well done!
That was a close one. Felt water in my left eye. Was only a fly. Yes. A fly. Sue me if you don´t believe me. Still going undefeated.
I'm really enjoying the way you get across Twi's sadness with so much comedy. Keeps things light enough without diluting the sads.
2481001 What they said.
429926 Dat comment
3013504 yup, and as Lyra says every so often
DAT PLOT HOLE
LYRA: your stories have several holes in the-(SLAP!) WHADIDAHDO?!
BONBON: You know how i hate those puns of yours
LYRA: But I like your plot holes-OW! WHADOYOOKEEPSLAPPINME?!
BONBON: Shut your pie hole Lyra
PINKIE: I've tried, but they don't close but I can plug-OOO! Butterfly!"
...
LYRA:...
BONBON:... I thought you changed the locks
I did! LYRA: I did!
... LYRA:...
BONBON: Idiots both of you
Oh my god. I can't. I just...
The beginning!
God, that 'Applejack cackled and twirled her mustache' part had me laughing for a solid minutes. Favorited. Loved. You can't staph me now!
I forgot how good of a writer you are
This has been more funny than sad so far lulz.
This is more funny than sad…lol.