As the group walked towards the portal Discord had opened, Fluttershy gasped. "Oh no! In all the excitement of remembering Rainbow Dash, I nearly forgot Chompy!" She turned, whimpering. "Oh I hope he won't be upset! He gets to do so little with me as is..." She blinked as she noticed Rainbow and the other mares her size and the dragonling giggling. "What?"
"Oh, we're not laughing at you, Fluttershy," Twilight hastened to reassure her.
"We're just so glad so much of you is still...well, you," Rarity pointed out.
"I can't count the number of times you've fussed over some poor critter right in the middle of things," Applejack added with a smile.
"Oh! Remember that time we were attacked by a manticore when we were looking for the Elements of Harmony?" Pinkie piped up. "And Fluttershy stopped us from fighting it because she noticed it was already injured, and she pulled the thorn out of its paw and it started licking her face? That was soooo her all over!"
Fluttershy smiled. "Glad to hear I haven't changed all that much," she said, putting her hoof to her mouth and giving a sharp whistle.
"Betting Chompy's a dog," Spike said in an aside to Pinkie.
"Might be a crocodile," Pinkie pointed out. "They've got tons of those here in Australia."
"Arf!" echoed over the landscape.
"See, dog," Spike said, before there was a sudden resounding crash. "A...big dog?"
Chompy crashed through the outer wall of the fortress, mouth wide open as he bounced towards Fluttershy. With a scream, six ponies and a dragonling raced through the portal. Chompy landed right next to Fluttershy and nuzzled her, leading to her caressing him. "Oh, Chompy. Guess what? We've been reassigned. We'll be going through that portal."
Chompy glanced towards the portal - and the fact that it was about a third his circumference - and gave a curious bark.
Fluttershy blinked. "Oh, that is a problem. Discord, can you make the portal a bit bigger?"
Discord chuckled as he stretched the portal out. "Still befriending the really scary animals, I see," he chuckled.
"If it's going to be that big," Engineer said, turning towards the fortress, "I can dig up our respawner and take it through for our new base."
While they waited, Luna looked over Chompy. "A rather endearing creature, I must say. I don't see why my sister and the others found him so frightening-"
Chompy rocked back, opened his mouth, and his tongue shot out, seizing a passing aerial spy drone from a couple thousand feet up and dragging it into his mouth to be devoured.
Luna stared. "I am the Princess of the Night," she said slowly. "One of my duties is to watch over the dreams of my subjects, ensuring they are pleasant and helping them to deal with the nightmares. As such, I have seen every monster ever conjured from the dark recesses of the subconscious mind, spawned from every bogeyman and fairy tail ever told. At one point as Nightmare Moon, I even crafted them. These things never held fear for me.
"...and I just soiled myself," she finished with a whimper.
"I'd be more inclined to laugh at you had I not taken shelter from that tongue behind and under you," Discord sputtered, snatching Demoman's canteen to clear his mouth. He then hiccupped. "Damn! ...That'sh...that's the good shtuff!"
As the mercs all laughed, the group headed through the portal, which closed behind them.
Saxton Hale watched, doing his darndest to remain stoic, as he watched what he knew would be the last he ever saw of Fluttershy and her family. He didn't blame the mercs for breaking their contract: had they contacted him, he'd have ordered them to go with her. His only regret was that he would not follow, and would never be able to see Fluttershy at work in her adorable bloodthirsty antics. But she had her happy ending now...and that was what mattered.
He stroked his hand over his chest. He had tried wearing a shirt to pin Fluttershy's pin to his breast pocket, but it was too instinctive to tear it off to fight. He had tried pinning it to his thick chest hair, but it didn't stay on. So he had instead tattooed the symbol onto his own chest. His fingers caressed that symbol now. "Goodbye, Fluttershy," he whispered, his vision of his desk blurring.
"Sir?" his aid asked. "Are you...crying?"
"No!" he proclaimed hotly. "Not crying! Real men don't cry!" His hand went up to his eye, and he felt the water. "This...this is liquid pride!"
"Liquid...pride?" the aid asked.
"Yeah!" Saxton asserted. "Collect some samples and take it to the lab. See if you can't turn it into a bomb to turn hippies into real men!"
"Sir!" the aid said quickly, rushing to do as directed.
Saxton turned his chair around as he let himself be lost in thought. Alone, he realized just how much he had come to care for Fluttershy. The sheer magnitude of merchandise in his room - from the tiniest figurine up to the life size plushie of Fluttershy with all her armaments (which actually worked) - opened his eyes to how much knowing that little filly was happy really mattered to him. He had to find some way to check and make sure.
"Wait!" he said, leaping to his feet. "My fist is the mightiest this world has ever seen!" He held up his clenched fist. "My punch can break steel, break mountains, break records, Break Bad! Who says it can't break into other people's worlds?!" With that, he drew his fist back and with a very DBZ style power up scream (it took a full ten minutes) he punched the air in front of him with all his might, and watched the air in front of him fall open.
Passing through the portal, he found himself in a world full of anthropomorphic animals obsessed with fighting. He stayed there for a time, enjoying duking it out with all the characters there where it was actually a challenge to hold his own, before eventually punching his way back into Mann Co. Headquarters.
Upon his return, he discovered that the Liquid Pride Bomb was a complete success, and did in fact turn hippies into real men. However, for some reason it gave them all rainbow colored hair. Saxton didn't see the problem here, as Fluttershy apparently liked Rainbow hair, given how eagerly she hugged Rainbow Dash. Saxton then proceeded to debate with himself whether he should dye his hair rainbow colors so she would like him better or to dye it pink to remember her by. The debate lasted for many hours, and by the time it ended with the decision to craft wigs of both colors and alternate, he had forgotten about his plan to go to Equestria and his ability to punch into other worlds until it became plot convenient to remember.
Oh Saxton! Don't ever change!
lol liquid pride right
Will there will be a sequel with romance ?
I just realised that this entire site needs more Saxton.
Liquid pride huh, sounds like something that would happen
I've said it before and I'll say it again SEQUEL MAKE IT SO WRITER MAN
SAXTON
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLE!!!
4910820
Yes?
Do I detect a hint to a sequel being made?
I've never read tge comics so my teaction to this was
wut
Well, of course liquid pride must be a drink comprised of sulfuric acid, and chloroform....it is....right?
SAAAAAAXTOOOOON HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEE!
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIINS!
4910902 Well- ...maybe. But, the story hasn't ended yet. Let's just go and see where our last chapter(s) lead.
Thank you, Shining Armor!
Saxton Hale, mans man, yeti wrestler, business tycoon, releases liquid pride tm from his eyes, punches through reality, and loves little ponies. And people still think it's weird to like mlp?
4911045
I think the tm should be in parentheses. Unless it's a Pokémon attack taught from a machine, in which case it should be capitalized.
That's about right.
So you didn't forget about Chompy, eh? Or was it me reminding you? Hehehehe...
Anyway, great epilogue, Saxton is a chaotic good character in this one, I like him and his near-Pinkie type impossibleness.
Well, I'm curious what else is left here, you said 4 minisodes... hm.
Oh, and Luna, hahahaha, adorable.
-Zeph
4911000
The odd thing is, both of those battle cries frequently signal a total party wipe. It's just that in Hale's case, it's typically for the opposing side.
4911078 blame my phone
4911138
I know you're excited, but c'mon. Tone it down a little, will ya?
4911138
You have two days to reduce the size of the font so that your comment takes up less than half a page before it is deleted.
Sorry if this sounds blunt, but since I enjoy scrolling through and rereading old comments, ones like these that take up nearly a page or more and don't really say anything are worse than annoying, and detract mightily from my enjoyment.
Thank you for your understanding.
Luna and Saxton were both funny in this chapter
Liking the link; I've never read the comics, but I know of the character
4911263
The comic is also where I picked up "Super Strong Punch that can break into other people's worlds" from. It was the special attack of one of the early villains. I meant to link to the specific comic where it was first used, but couldn't find it easily.
uh,oh
4910718
I'm sorry. When the overload of cute in your blood thins out enough...the convulsions will begin.
Some people get the DT's. With this, it's the tee-hees.
4911272 Yeah, it happens.
So Chompy has a frog tongue... The more you know
We now have more reason to fear Chompy unless people actually liked to be wrapped in a giant tongue
4911142 True, true. But it's still hilarious to run around screaming Saxton Hale or Leroy Jenkins.
4911497 UNINTENTIONAL POKEMON REFERENCE! WOOHOO!
4911552
Thank you for changing it.
4911497
Chompy's tongue has the capacity to stretch like a frog's, but that's but the barest fragment of what his tongue is capable of and its true nature. A Chain Chomp's tongue is truly something feared and unknown.
After all, haven't you noticed? In all the 3d Mario games, no matter what angle you get on a chain chomp , the game never lets you see its tongue.
really hope there a second story cont with them in equestria
Well- still. I think This Story warrants a Sequel. Can you imagine the Mercs going up against Equestria's Version of a Boss Fight? XD Or Chompy jumping around Fluttershy's Cottage (lets face it- it would be impossible for him to fit in properly)- OR Fluttershy Adjusting to her now more PEACEFUL life taking care of animals? After these years of Violence, and Death being a re-occurring thing for her, even with her two lives colliding with each other? .... I'll admit- I do not have the skill it would take to write this story.... But I don't think it would be too bad to see how the Mercs are doing in Fort Plot-buck, 'defending' Equestria from great Evil's or something. Who knows? Maybe we get to see them go after some Mean Mother Hubber- trying to tear Celestia, Luna, and The Elements of Harmony (And Fluttershy. Of course.) a Superfuliously New Behind.
*Reads the 'SAXTON HALLLLEEEEE!!!!' Bit* ........... I feel like I helped with that in some way. Maybe I didn't- Maybe you already planned to write about that. I don't actually know- NOR do I actually care, beyond how it is WAY Beyond 20% Cooler.
Also. You may NEVER read his Name without shouting it in your head. It's just impossible after you learn who he is.
warosu.org/data/tg/img/0331/43/1404412594364.jpg
4911653
Don't forget the BLUs.
No comment...
4911731
Lies.
4911725
Also- No. Not really. Read the Story- The BLU's refuse to Fight Fort BumFuck anymore because of Chompy, and Fluttershy being OP. XD
4911753
We'll see. WEEE SHAAAAALL SEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4907952 oh... Ok....
4907421
Oh, I saw that already. I meant a full-blown sequel.
4911000
The first LIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEDDDD!
The second DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD!
4911552
Shouting is one thing. You should have blown out your voicebox from THAT.
4911565
Saxton Hale should be the villain for the sequel. Now think about it, he's the only person strong enough to even stare Chompy into it's soul-less eyes. And maybe it would be funny to see Button Mash look at them and be all like 'omg! The guys from tf2!' And have that as a subplot but whatever.
4911894
According to Human First died and Second lived...
Uhh saxton you okay?......
Behold the trans-dimensional fist.
He should dye his hair pink with a rainbow stripe through it so it could be like Fluttershy's mane, only with a rainbow stripe.