The Crystal Empire shone brightly as Twilight looked down upon the pristine field of the Equestria Games. A part of her still isn't quite used to the idea of being a princess just yet. Princess Celestia sat beside her with a smile, occasionally remarking on the feats of strength and skill the ponies executed on the field below. Her sister, Princess Luna, sat beside Celestia as well, looking among the crowd and seeming disinterested in the sporting event.
A part of Twilight could empathize. She had a book in her room that she started yesterday on Eccentrics of Great Unicorns, including a mind blowing article on Starswirl the Bearded. Yet, she still attempted to feign interest in the event.
"Smile and wave," she thought to herself. "I have to look the part of a princess."
She leaned forward and looked to the throne of Princess Cadance. A part of her wished she was sitting closer to her, at least then she would have someone to chat with. Twilight could chat with Princess Celestia of course, but she was her mentor. In fact, in some ways, almost like her mother. Girlish chit-chat didn't feel quite natural with her for Twilight, despite the fact that she would simply enjoy sharing the moment with her student. As Twilight got a good look at Cadance's throne, she found it sitting empty.
Of course.
She's in the background, doing her best to ensure the games run smoothly. Just like Shining with his announcing down on the field. They both seem so busy all the time. Twilight leaned upright again and sat up straight. With all of the work that they have been doing lately, she could only wonder how much they have seen each other. Cadance is likely doing everything she can to ensure the Crystal Empire runs the event smoothly, but when do they get some time alone? In fact, when was the last time the purple alicorn saw the two together? She rubbed her hoof on her chin and pondered the question carefully. Wasn't it back when Sombra was attacking? She shook her head and smiled.
“Silly, Twilight,” she thought to herself. “They're married! Plus they aren't going to share with you their private moments. That would just be absurd. You've seen the way they look at each other. They have something truly special.“
Her mind wandered back their special day as the athletes made their way down to the field below for the next event. 'Love is in bloom'- That's what she sang for them on their special day. Her eyes raised to the sky in some sense of pride. A part of her wondered when she was finally going to be an Aunt.
Yet, thinking of them on their special day just raises even more questions for her, questions that create a burning deep inside of her chest. When will she going to find her special somepony? When is love going to bloom for her? She let out a sigh and watched the event with disinterest. Is there even anyone she would consider dating? Anyone who would even think of dating a Princess? There's only one person that came to her mind. The thought of him brings a warmth to her chest and butterflies in her stomach. Yet, would he be interested in her?
"Princess Twilight," a deep masculine voice called beside her.
Twilight's head turned to a grey guard that stands at attention.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Your presence is requested by Prince Shining Armor."
"Certainly," she answered, turning to Celestia who casually nodded at her.
What could Shining want? Shouldn't he be busy with the event? Stepping down from her throne, she followed the guard out of the tunnel of the stadium. Shining paces carefully at the end of the tunnel, his face focused on the ground and wearing an unrecognizable expression. Is something wrong with the games? She trotted ahead of the guard and lost her Princess demeanor for a more fitting 'little sister mode'.
"Shining... What's wrong?"
"Things are bad, Twiley. Really bad. I-I..." he stammered out.
"Woah. Slow down. Slow down," she said in a calming tone. "Is everything okay with the games?"
Shining looked up at her and she saw the look in his eyes. The deep blue pools were filled with anger, hurt, guilt and betrayal.
"Who cares about the games, Twilight?! None of that matters right now!" Shining shouted at her. She took a few steps back, unsure of what to make of his current state. He shook his head and looked down.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted. Let's... go somewhere more quiet and I'll fill you in." Then, with a simple nod, she followed her brother to a sitting room just down the hall. A feeling of uneasiness washed over her. Something felt wrong to Twilight. Shining never got this angry.
'What's going on?' She wondered to herself.
When you open your eyes, you gaze upon the gentle pink face of the Princess, who lies beside you in the recovery room. Her deep violet pools study your face carefully, which brings a warmth to your chest and butterflies to your stomach. The feeling distracts you from noticing the lack of pain throughout your body.
"Good morning, Sleepyhead," the princess coos beside you.
"Mornin," you answer gently. "How long was I out?"
"Just a few hours. I made sure you were getting your treatments while you were asleep. I think you should be able to walk with a crutch now."
"Really? Wow. Magic sure is something," you remark.
"I'll get the nurse and we can see about getting you out of here."
She smiles, stepping out of the bed and out the door of the room.
As you lie alone in the room, you look up at the ceiling feeling the dull pains in you legs and head. It was nowhere near what it was when you were attacked, but it still made you feel terrible. However, you aren't fully sure if it's the pain that made you feel terrible, or this whole situation you've been roped into.
Yet, something sits in the middle of your stomach and eats away at you. Why was Shining so aggressive? A part of you understands the anger... but you are in the hospital now! You shake your head and look to the side. He thought he caught his wife cheating on him, it has to be the only answer. What would you have done? He probably wouldn't have listened to any sort of explanation you tried to give anyway.
What are you going to do? You're stuck in this love triangle with the Captain of the Royal Guard and the Princess of Love. It's going to be hard to get this to all end peacefully. Another question strikes you as Cadance re-enters the room with the nurse, but the healing mare cuts you off before you can ponder it.
"Looks like you are all healed up, Anon. Ready to get out of here?" the nurse enthusiastically asks.
"Yeah!" you answer, sitting up carefully.
You'll have to dwell on your questions later. Right now, you need to figure out what to do next. For all you know, Shining could sick the guards on you and start a manhunt on you. Who can you go to in all of this for some sort of help?
"Alright, we've got a pair of crutches here for you, since your right leg still needs some more time to heal."
The unicorn nurse levitates one of the crutches to your bed with her magic. You pick one up and inspect it. A pony sized crutch. Great.
"They are, uh, a little small," you remark. The crutch only extends up to about your waist in height. At best, this could be a good cane.
"This is all we have for him?" the pink alicorn asks.
"I'm afraid so."
Cadance takes the crutch from your hands with her magic and the wooden crutch begins to grow longer. Once it reaches just under your shoulders, she sets it down beside your bed before grabbing the other one.
"This is a lot better," you reply, grabbing the crutch and easing yourself to your feet.
She levitates the second crutch to you and you take it. Placing it under your other arm, your raise your bad leg and crutch yourself across the room.
"How's that?" Cadance asks.
"Perfect!" you answer with a smile.
The nurse looks between you two and nods.
"I'll just attend to some other patients then, stay off that leg, Anon."
"Will do." you answer.
Then nurse leaves you alone with the Princess of Love. Cadance takes a few steps closer to you and nuzzles the side her face against your chest. Leaning on one crutch, you wrap an arm around her and stroke her mane, looking down at her wide smile.
"Now what do we do?" you ask calmly. "The cat's out of the bag."
Cadance goes silent and sighs.
"I'm... not sure," she solemnly replies. "I didn't think that would happen."
You bite your bottom lip and consider all the terrible possibilities that may be just around the corner.
"I have to attend to some Equestria Games business, but I think we should make a plan on how to tell Celestia."
Looking down the Princess, you feel slightly shocked.
"What are you going to tell her?" you ask.
She goes silent again.
"Just... everything?" you suggest.
"I suppose," she answers. "I'm going to think about how I should should tell her over the next few hours."
"Alright then."
"Let's meet back in our room in two hours... okay?" she asks, looking back into your eyes.
Wait. Our room? A smile curls on your face.
"I'll be there," you whisper.
The edges of her lips curl upward, her doubt and fears slipping away. She leans up towards you and you close the distance, placing a warm gentle kiss on her soft lips. For those few moments, everything felt like it was going to be okay. That somehow, the two of you will work through all of this together and be happy. After a quiet moment, she steps away, watching you, as if when she looked away you would simply disappear from existence.
"See you then, Nonny," she says softly.
"See ya," you reply and she steps out the door, leaving you alone.
A part of you feels dumbstruck, watching the door close and smiling like a newborn pup being cradled by their new owner. The pink alicorn fills your mind, her face remains etched in your memory and you let out a sigh of content. There is just something about her. Something you can't quite put your finger on.
You walk towards the door and step outside, looking left and right to get your bearings. This area is completely unfamiliar to you. Might as well explore then. You take a left and walk down the hall. Who would have thought so much would have changed in such a long time. Now you are seeing a mare! A princess no less! How is that even going to work? A human and an alicorn. Is that going to be a scandal?
Your pace slows as the word sits in your mind.
Scandal.
Your throat becomes dry as you think over everything you've told Cadance. You've driven a married mare away from her husband. Guilt shoots through your veins and chills you. What have you done?
You shake your head and take a deep breath. You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't driven anyone away from anyone else. This is all because of Shining. Shining cheated first. You and Cadance didn't even do anything. Even then, if you were the final wedge that drove the two apart, you only made them aware that it was broken to begin with.
Yet, there's another problem in all of this. If this were some normal married mare, it would probably be over and done with. No questions asked. No problems. Something ironed out in some kind of paperwork. Cadance is a princess. A -married- princess. Can princesses even get divorces? How does any of that even work?
Your mind races as you try to think of some way to figure out what to do next. You could check the library for something... but where would you even begin? What if it takes too much time? Asking around is only going to spread rumors. You have to find someone you can trust. Only one pony comes to your mind.
Twilight.
Erm, Princess Twilight now.
The two of you have been friends in Ponyville for what feels like forever. She has to know what you can do to make this all work out. You begin to limp as fast as you can to get somewhere you recognize. Twilight must know about any sort of royal scandals in Equestria. This situation can't be unheard of.
Pushing through a heavy set of double doors, you step into a familiar hallway. The Princess's Balcony should just be to the right. You crutch onward to where you think Twilight should be. Guards pass by and eye you carefully, making you uneasy. She has to be able to help you. She's neutral in all of this, she should be able to-
That's when it hits you like a ton of bricks. Why isn't your brain working today? A red carpet marks the entrance to a tunnel where the Princesses sit and you simply stare at it. Of course. Twilight is Shining's sister. She was their best mare.
Your eyes grow wide and you attempt to turn around. You can't go to her.
Finishing your turn on crutches, you freeze in your tracks as your eyes set their sight on the crowned purple alicorn slowly walking towards the balcony. You can't get away fast enough with your messed up leg. Twilight looks up and catches sight of you.
The friend that has been there for you through thick and thin, connects eyes with you. Her normally understanding and caring gaze is filled with disbelief and anger. She walks towards you slowly. Your throat seizes, and you try to think about what you can say to her.
She knows.
Shining must have told her, it's the only way. He has to be spreading some sort of false story about what's going on. What if all the Princesses know the false story because Shining got there first? She walks up to you, silent and unblinking, studying every inch of your body. This could be bad.
"Hey," you call out to her.
Twilight simply stares at you, as if daring you to explain yourself. This isn't going to be fun in the slightest. However, everything needs to be set straight with her. She needs to know your side of the story.
"I think we should talk," you say.
“Perfect.”
Twilight turns away from you coldly and walks to a nearby room. Unsure of what else to do, you follow her and close the door behind you when the two of you are inside.
This doesn't really match what I've read before. Neither does the rating.
What the heck happened?
wow, shining lied and turned twilight against him.
This is a difficult situation, shining is a bastard or he is not shining?
img.pandawhale.com/38848-The-Feels-gif-UHzu.gif oh god the feels
welp thats two things he's destroyed today
4772561
Sadly, this part two is victim to a few outside factors. I had this first part mostly written, then my computer crashed and I lost all my progress on it. So I had to start over. Then I wrote it again, didn't like it, so I rewrote it again. This is the third version.
Second, it's been a month and a half, and I've got a lot more ideas for this story than before. I'm not going to say my idea for the story has -changed- but I think I have a few interesting ideas to incorporate now.
If you are mentioning the rating feeling different, I promise you that we are going to have more lewdness in future parts.
Hopefully this part hasn't completely destroyed your interest in the story, because I hope to begin updating this more regularly.
4772591 Have you read the one with Ares? I can't remember it's name right now, but it has a sequel called "this is loive?" if it helps.
In that one it isn't so much Shining's characterization that messes up their marriage, it's just a gradual process where mistakes (legitimate ones most of the time) are made. But in this case I will give you that one of the married couple is a bastard, given how they're straight up lying about what's happening.
Oh, misunderstandings abound!
Hopefully the next update is a little more forthcoming than this one. But I do know that feel about crashing computers. Gotta save every 5 minutes, bro.
And this is why you never assume. It almost always leads to misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.
No, Twilight did. For not hearing him out. She's known him for how long? She's known Cadence for how long? Did she seriously think that they'd randomly shack up during such a public event? If she does, she's stupid.
4772572
He's a cheating prick, he's angry, and Twilight trusts him second to none save perhaps Celestia. Of course he did.
So can we expect updates on a regular basis or is this gonna be a once in a blue moon kinda thing? I wanna see how Anon gets out of this one.
4772591 derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/29/588120/large.jpg
Well, shit just keeps getting real.
Shinings such a humongous dick.
Well Twilight now don't want to hear the second part of the story, at least she has that secret someone she likes, I imagine is Flash Sentry
Also did princess can get divorce? If I remember correctly wasn't royalty who literally invented divorce? It was a really know figure, 'Henry the VIII' his first marriage was a failure when his wife couldn't produce an air but the church ban the destruction of marriage so to counter Henry created his own religion and created the what its now know the divorce, ironically he only divorce once even though he had like 8 wife's I suppose because after seeing the negative impact a divorce make on his vault and ground he just couldn't risk more lost.
Its a bit of common knowledge so I'm surprise Annon forgot about good old Henry…then again he could be asking Cadence if divorce even exist in Equestria
Well now you have my attention... Again...I hope this is updated on a regular basis now.
All I have to say is this; if I was Anon, I would've just up and fuckin' left them all if I was caught up in that mess.
The plot thickens.
First up, Twilight's part should have really been in third person. FPP may be excusable with Anonymous, but there's no reason to have Twilight's part like that. It's just confusing as hell.
Second you need a better transition between Twilight's and Anon's parts. This is made even worse since they are both in first person and thus blurred together.
Oh goody, informed friendship. Ok actual effort needs to go into this to make this work. Just telling us we're friends doesn't work. This is literally the first time we see Anon and Twi together so we really should have seen more of this actual friendship before it gets bombed because when it does I feel absolutely nothing! Nothing was lost because I couldn't get invested in their friendship.
Why the fuck is Anon feeling guilty?! He's done nothing wrong and knows it!
Because we all know Twilight is too dumb to realize there's more than likely more than one side of this story and that Shining is utterly innocent. I wonder if he mentioned he's the one that busted Anon's face and leg. Again we see this amazing friendship of Twilight and Anon where she's more concerned with whose dick is going into whom than the fact her "friend" is standing there visibly wounded. Nope, not gonna question it at all.
for some pony lecturing others to read between the lines, Twilight is kinda dumb. She can't guess that Royal Business actually meant sex?
Um, yes it is. It means he didn't know what he was in for i.e. innocent.
A married female member OF AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SPECIES! Don't assume I swing that way, Twilight you sick fuck. It's not common sense at all!
It's pretty bad when your own story points how just how little actual chemistry there is between these two. They aren't in love because of actual love but because some random magic trick Cadance cast in a fit of anger said so. This doesn't help the plot at all except to highlight how shallow it really is.
It takes two to tango and two to have sex (unless you're lucky and have a partner who's open to experimentation). Twilight is completely disregarding Cadance and Anon's side in favor of her brother. A brother, I might add, who's the "wounded" party and thus means whatever he says is to be taken with a mountain of salt. Oh wait, this isn't the actual smart Twilight, this is her brain dead clone
This is where Anon stories are weakest, particularly ones that puts the reader in the character's shoes. This is basically calling your reader an idiot that's too dumb to put 2 and 2 together and figure out that Shining went to Twilight first and bent the truth to fit himself.
Another example of why FP doesn't work: People react differently. Some readers may yell at her, others would wait till she was completely done to get a word in edge-wise, while others, myself included, would start poking holes in all these ideas Twilight has built up for herself using ONE SIDE
And here we seen Anon couldn't have fucked Cadance even if he wanted too because here he is utterly dickless. I would not regret my words and if Twilight was too fragile a soul to let me defend myself after she fucking accused me of adultery then she has no business even talking to me. Personally I'd punch anyone for speaking to me in that way.
Oh for fuck's sake, she DOESN'T KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE! This is fucking stupid.
files.riffsy.com/images/d16b909fe69c7c8009a271b99247e368/raw
Best friend?! Really?! This is the first scene with these two morons and this pony is at her "friend's" throat based on information from an unreliable source. She doesn't even show concern for the fact he's visibly wounded so unless she imagines Cadance to be a total beast in bed, there's clearly something wrong with this picture!
Shoving around someone who's got a wounded leg. Even if she didn't try to hurt him that still could have knocked him over and made his wounds even worse. OH WAIT! This twilight is so mindnumbling stupid she's glossed over this whole fact.
Oh and now she's the victim now despite being the one to start shit. Why are we supposed to like her again?
Stockholme Syndrome has inspired greater friendships so nothing of value was lost.
4772591
4772760 Yeah, Twilight may be an an egghead, but she's incredibly gullible.
4773336 Damn, couldn't have pincushion'd this chapter any better myself.
4773434 So many things felt off so I felt a list was needed.
4773449 Crap re-reading this I guess you are right... Still wont stop me from enjoying this story and hoping this gets regularly updated though.
4773449 When I read him yelling at Twi, I was like "Did he grow a pair an gonna lay down the law?!" Nope, he pussied out. Much disappointment.
Still gonna read it though, see where it goes now...
4772940
No, I'm fairly certain that this chapter strongly implies that Twilight had a crush on Anon:
...Which also makes so much more sense out of Twilight being so upset with him in this chapter. She's not only upset because her OTP of Shining x Cadance is broken up, she's upset because the guy she likes is no longer available.
4773461
4773469 Can't fix something until you know an issue exists.
4773476
……Probably, but now that she knows it can't happen she can move on to Flash Sentry…or fight Cadence for Anon hearts…whatever happen first
4773482
...Love is rarely so convenient or rational.
4773485
What its convenient or rational about going to Flash Sentry? she will be basically searching a Shining Armor Doll
4773502
Because she's still interested in Anon, and you don't just "switch targets" that quickly in matters of love. It's certainly not normal. This Twilight has implied that she's interested in Anon, has not indicated any romantic interest in Flash Sentry, and could only think of one guy she considered a romantic candidate... so why are you so sure that she'd just forget about Anon for a guy she probably didn't even consider a candidate to begin with?
...Huh.
An now i prefer her him to be with Twilight, to be honest i just remember a bit of what happend in the last chapter, i just remember the Shining is an asshole part but nothing more. So i doesn´t remembered that Twilight liked Ano.........yeah.......Human....yeah i name him Human, i don´t habe to much against Anonymus, but i had to read this name a bit to often. I take Anonymus always as a name where i should think of one myself or that i supposed to think i am this one, but well it doesn´t hurt to give him a name.
Well it is was a while to get to the second chapter and the curiosity is not that great anymore like at the beginning but i wait and read a bit more.
4773502 at the beginning i had nothing against Flash Sentry, but somehow because of others i see that i start to not like him as well. But he has not done anything wrong....well okay i don´t like the type of the mans which are like a fairytale Human, i mean nearly perfect and always kind, calm and Handsome....it is somehow weird, maybe because of that they don´t like him that much.
4773336 x2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/5116456+_3986780f434f11a5ea0dc94a555b705c.jpg
4773502 I agree. Why does FS need to be in this when Twilight starts throwing a raging fit and feel dejected?
What I don't get is why Anon is feeling guilty? He has done nothing wrong, not a single god damn thing.
The whole situation was a mess before he got there! Even if he didn't exist their marriage is already ruined.
In fact he was attacked so badly that he has several broken bones and a concussion and for what? Doing the right thing? Guilt is the last thing he should be feeling, anger/hatred at shining should be a more appropriate response.
4773399
I've found that most people with a high intellect lack what is referred to (but lacked by most, these days) as Common Sense, but I don't think it's because they're stupid-stupid per say. I think sometimes geniuses are like that is because they spend more time learning smart-smarts instead of interacting with others and the world. They expect either the best or the worst of society as a result, without any actual hands-on (or hoofs-on in this case) experience.
Good thing for Twilight she's gonna be around for awhile. She can learn.
4773883
I agree!
He doesnt even try and explain that he wasnt even doing what he was accused of...
4773336
Wow. First of all, thank you for the highly detailed list. I can tell you that some of those things I had in the story for a reason for developing the plot in the future, but I suppose that isn't really a great excuse is it?
Some of those things in there were downright mistakes by my part. Looking back, Anon probably shouldn't have been so beta. The canon personality of Twilight would have likely wanted her best friend, and crush's side of the story as well. Yet, she's taken only one half of the story and ran with it, going as far as to blast him for what her brother told her.
I'd say that Twilight would more likely believe a family member over a friend and that's what lead her to her actions, but I suppose that isn't really a good excuse at the end of the day.
I thank you for pointing out all the plot holes. I'm going to do my best to find a way to continue the story as is without eliminating this part and starting over again, which at this point seems almost to be a viable option. I'm sorry that this update is so disappointing.
4774150 You know, since you're already in the "rewrite and re-adapt" mindset, you could redo this chapter to address the issues Zervziel brought up. I don't believe anyone would mind that.
4773336 Has anyone ever told you how much of an awesome critic you are?
quickmeme.com/img/7b/7b1b36600a9788f48098c5051ec882937cac3d928654b086b1f614f4f0fc9d67.jpg
Good for you Twillight! Show everypony what a good and understanding friend you are by not listening to a friend that's trying to explain themselves! That's being a true pal!!
4774252 I get plenty of practice since I preread a lot.
4774150 If you ever plan to do a chapter rewrite as
4774252 mentioned, I'd say do it now early on so you don't waste time in following chapters trying to patch things up instead of progressing the story. Plus those types of issues have a bad habit of resurfacing later on leading to a snowballing effect
4773526
She is vulnerable and pretty much will be with anyone that offer comfort at this point
..............
4774502
What you are mentioning about the snowballing is exactly what I want to avoid. There are some things about the plot in this part that need to remain the same in order to do what I want with the story, however, drama for the sake of drama is never good. What I'll likely do is a very heavy clean up of this chapter and mention in the authors note of part three that if they had already read part two, give it a re-read due to the changes. The only likely changes would be that it's not so extreme. I mean, the things that you listed such as pushing around an injured person is just silly in hindsight.
I'll likely change Twilight's part into Third person because in hindsight, for what I want to do with this story, it will work better -not- to be in Twilight's head and see what she is thinking. I'll likely elaborate into the history behind him and Twilight and have them act more like (oh, I dunno) reasonable living beings. Anon is ridiculously Beta and Twilight is straight up overly aggressive. Both is out of character for them beyond what I'm willing to let slide for my own personal standards.
I hope to have the edits out by the end of the week. I'm not going to unpublish the second chapter as is. Storywise, the change won't be huge, but the execution of it will be much cleaner.
4774957 Sounds good. But remember to make a blog post after you're done, since you're not re-publishing them and we won't have another way of knowing it.
4772674
It's called What is love?