Going Out of Style

by TimidClef

Two's Company, Three's a Herd

My ex sat at a table from me in an employee lounge across the hall from the Local Press office. Arial hadn't said much after getting up from her desk, other than to follow her. Now we sat at a chipped Formica table with cups of bad coffee in front of us as she stared at me, a self-satisfied grin still on her face. We were alone in the room; the only other occupant, a brown stallion who had been trying to shake an oat bar loose from the vending machine, had fled after Arial shot him a "I want to be alone" look. But she still hadn't said anything. We'd been siting there for nearly five minutes now, and neither of us had said a word.

This was one of Arial's normal games): She always felt more comfortable and in control when she was the respondent in a conversation, and always tried to force her companion to speak up first. Since I was an obstinate ass, I usually tried to keep my muzzle zipped and force her to start the conversation, and so I spent the time in studious silence.

At first, I tried studying the break room itself, but I could only pretend to be taking in the stained coffee pots, piles of old newspapers and magazines, and padded benches for so long. I tried to focus on the coffee, but it was grimace-inducing, a war crime in a cup; the brew was so stale and burnt that its existence probably violated peace treaties with the Griffon Kingdoms. Then I decided to survey the vending machine; it carried my favorite snack (Hay's Potato Chips - You can't nom just one!) - I guess I could consider that the benefits package for my new job. I idly tried to dislodge the hung-up oat bar, but like most vending machines the glass had a magic dampening spell on it to prevent snack-lifting by unicorns.

Eventually, I ran out of things to examine and was reduced to staring back at Arial, whose cool gray eyes had been studying me intently the whole time. Initially I tried for a confident look that said, You might as well give up now, sweetflanks - I ain't cracking! but I think it may have just come across as though I had to pee. Next I tried staring over her shoulder goggle-eyed as if something horrific waited just behind her. When that didn't work, I stuck my tongue out and wiggled my ears in an attempt to get her to snap at me out of sheer annoyance. But the white mare always had a great poker face and the patience of a glacier. She just stared right back, her face an impassive mask of humored smugness, toying idly with her ponytail with a hoof.

I finally conceded round one to her. "Okay, Arial. You win. Now, why exactly are you staring at me like the pony who just got the last mug of cider?"

Her smile went from complacent to victorious as I vocalized my defeat. "Oh, no real reason, Comic dear. Other than the fact that I won our bet."

"What bet?"

"Oh, don't tell me you've forgotten? Back in Manehattan, six months ago, right before I dumped you -"

"I dumped you, you mean."

"- whichever. We had just finished up dinner at Marecella's; you had just walked out on your job at the Daily News and said you wanted to celebrate your freedom. You'd had too much to drink, and I bet you that you couldn't even go a year without diving back in to the news business."

Oh, that bet, I thought. I tried to keep my face from betraying the fact that I remembered, but as usual I wasn't successful, and Arial grinned in satisfaction. "Oh, you remember, dear? Then you also remember what we wagered? It had a little something to do with -"

"With me taking you on a vacation. Yes, Arial, I do remember. Do you also remember that we broke up? And that it would probably be a little awkward for us to go on a vacation together since we're, well, not dating anymore?"

"Oh, pish, two friendly adults can take a trip together without it becoming awkward. And as luck would have it," (damn you, talent!) I screamed to myself in my head, "I had just requested some time off starting today. Since Free's office isn't terribly soundproof, I overheard most of your conversation, including the fact that the paper is sending you out to that resort opening. Which is a perfect time for me to collect on our wager. You're taking me with you to the opening of Bonne Papillon, Comic." Arial smiled and nodded to herself, as if the issue were settled.

Which it was, but I'm a fool sometimes so I just had to argue it a little. "Arial, this is work, not a vacation. Besides, it's a spa, not some luxury hotel." I paused as Arial's smile ratcheted up from simply victorious to pure vainglory. "What don't I know?"

"There are lots of things you don't know, dear - but I take it you haven't read over the stuff that Free gave you yet, have you?"

Instead of answering I flipped open the folder on the table in front of me. There were a bunch of professional-looking glossies showing the spa's various amenities, along with a one-page press release describing the place:

Experience Equestria's newest and most grand spa, boutique, and resort, Bonne Papillon, and discover the you that you were meant to be!

Indulge in pure tranquility as our extensively-trained massage therapists and acupuncturists, detoxification advisers, and relaxation specialists soothe your whole being, drawing away the stresses and worries of your everyday life.

Revel in extravagant glamour as our fashion-forward couturiers, renowned coiffeuses, and dedicated image consultants create for you a wholly individual and original style, complete with unique hoof-tailored attire.

Bask in utter rapture as our world-class concierges, culinary artistes, and knowledgeable sommeliers cater to your every whim and fulfill your every desire in our sumptuous four-star accommodations.

Bonne Papillon. Come to the beauty. Leave as the self you have always desired.

I dropped the flyer back on the table with a shake of my head, and looked at my ex. "If it weren't for the fact that I overheard Mr. Leonis talking to the pony who was supposed to cover this story, I would think you'd somehow machinated this whole situation. But since this dropped into my lap because of a sick filly, and I don't think you'd stoop to poisoning a foal, you're off the hook."

She opened her mouth to speak, but I held up a hoof and pressed on. "That doesn't mean I think you should go with me, though. Yes, apparently I owe you one, and sure it's a resort - but it's also my first job, Arial! Can't you cut me some slack here?"

Her smoke-colored mane fluttered as she shook her head. "You should know better than that, darling. Let me put it this way: Allowing me to come with you just saves me a bit of money and a favor or two. Either way, I'm going to be at the resort opening." She leaned across the table then, looking me right in the eye with her best 'come-hither' look. "Besides, you know it's more fun having me along."

I blinked, and Arial was standing up before I could respond further. She walked toward the door, tossing back over her shoulder, "We can take a cab out to Harbor East together, Comic. I'll see you at 6:00 this evening. Oh - and bring something appropriate to wear, will you? That plaid get-up always makes you look like a thrift store sofa."

She flipped her mane invitingly as she turned to leave, and wiggled her rear slightly as the door shut behind her. I let out an explosive breath and muttered to myself, "Dear Luna, that mare is going to be the death of me. But dear Luna, do I love to watch her go!"

---

A half-hour later I found myself sitting on an uncomfortable bench in the employee resources department, filling out the last of my new contractor paperwork. Ms. Sternhoof, the assistant resources director, her mane pulled up into a tight bun, watched me cautiously as she went about her work. What, does she think I'm going to steal the pen? Do I really look that untrustworthy? I thought as I finished signing my name and date on the last form. I stood up and cracked my neck, then set the clipboard on the desk.

A pair of silver bat-wing spectacles floated up to perch before the gloomy mare's eyes. After a few moments, she swept the forms into a file folder and dropped it into a cabinet next to her; her face bore an expression of mild annoyance (maybe she was vexed that I'd filled the forms out correctly?) as she slid an envelope across the desk to me, and then dropped a bound scroll on top of it.

Her voice was surprisingly melodious - a sultry, alto tone I'd expect to hear singing jazz; it didn't match her physical appearance. "Here you are, Mr. Sans. This is a copy of the employee handbook, a company directory, and your press pass. Also, Mr. Leonis asked me to have a letter of account ready for you; you can use this for your accommodations and any reasonable expenses you incur while working for the Bugle; you'll find the guidelines in the handbook. Is there anything else you need?"

I swept the envelope and scroll into my saddle bag while trying for another charming smile. "No thank you, Ms. Sternhoof, and glad to be part of the team!" I stuck out a hoof, which the businessmare stared at dourly and then shook guardedly as though I might try to steal her watch. She then spun back to her typewriter with a dismissive nod.

I turned to head for the door, only to find the door headed for me.

When I got my bearings a few moments later, I was flat on my back, staring up at the office ceiling with somepony laying on top of me. I disentangled myself from a somewhat-familiar, prone and groaning midnight blue pegasus and sat up, rubbing my nose. "I guess I was wrong when I said I'd see you around, Wingding," I quipped with a chuckle, as I helped the intern to his hooves.

"Oh! Mr. Sans - I'm sorry, I didn't see you there! Are you all right?" Wingding brushed himself off with a wing as I righted my fedora.

I gave myself a quick once-over and found everything to be in order, more or less. "No broken bones and my tail still shakes. I think I'm good. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I really am sorry, though. I should have been watching where I was going, but I was in such a rush - "

"Excuse me, gentlecolts, but some of us are trying to do work here!" rang out Ms. Sternhoof's voice from behind us. We both flinched, and I nodded to Wingding to let him know I'd wait for him outside and then walked out of the office, closing the door behind me.

I stood outside the office for a few minutes, listening to the muffled but terse orders from the businessmare and the awkward silences and increasingly-skittish stuttering from my friend. Eventually, Wingding backed out into the hall with some paperwork tucked under his wing, muttering apologies to the glaring mare behind the desk. I kicked the door closed for my new friend, then turned to follow him down the hall; the stallion had a slightly glazed look on his face (the Sternhoof effect I chuckled silently to myself). "So what were you in such a rush for? When you came in, I mean; I know why you were in a hurry to get away from Ms. Sternhoof - what a nightmare!"

The pegasus's muzzle split in a wide grin. "Oh, right! I got a call just a a few minutes ago; they're giving me a real assignment, my first one ever! I had to go pick up my press badge and stuff from Ms. Nightm - Sternhoof."

I clapped Wingding on the back. "Congratulations, and in that case apologies are definitely not necessary; I can take a lump for a story. I remember my intern days well enough - that buzz when you actually get to do something other than file copy or dust the microfiche machines. What do they have you covering?"

In response, he grabbed one of the pieces of paper from under his wing and flipped it toward me; as I caught it with my magic, I noticed that the text on the page was a familiar shade of pink. I peered over the top of it at the grinning stallion. "It's really just a fluff job, but it's something! They're sending me to take photos at some posh spa opening! Can you believe my luck?"

I could only smirk. "No, Wingding - but I can believe mine."

Author's Note:

I know that the story has been a bit slow thus far, but hopefully it hasn't been too boring. Next chapter we'll see some action, I promise!

Comments

[Salizar65]

Not a bad read so far. Kind of dull at the moment but it has potential. I'm intrigued and will look forward to more.