The Adventures of Captain Buddeldot

by Sebbaa

A Royal Canterlot Bachelor Party

The Adventures of Captain Buddeldot
by Sebbaa

A Royal Canterlot Bachelor Party

Shining Armor looked at the note he had gotten again and rolled his eyes. This was the place. Urgent meeting in “The Dancing Pony” signed by a fellow captain; not of the Royal Guard but the Royal Navy but a captain none the less. He crumpled up the paper and set in in flames with a quick spell, then opened the tavern door and reluctantly stepped inside.

When he came in, he saw that the tavern's common room had been arranged for a party; a party that was already in full swing. Tables hat been set to one side with a cold buffet, as well some bowls of punch on them. On the other side of the room was a stage and a band was playing energetic dance music on it. The whole room was packed full with ponies dancing, socializing, eating, having a drinking contest, arm wrestling and other frivolous pastimes.

Shining Armor remained at the door and scanned the crowd with a frown. “Captain Buddeldot, where are you?” he finally called out, when he couldn’t find the pony he was looking for. The commotion died down and everypony looked at him. But after a short glance, most of them went back to what they have been doing. Nopony came from the crowd to greet him, especially not the pony he was looking for.

The captain of the guard grumbled and turned to leave. But just as he was about to head for the door, a foaming mug of cider was shoved into his face, obscuring his vision.

“Ahoy lad! Glad ye could make it!” a mare's voice exclaimed. It had a solid ring to it, a thick quality like clear honey mixed with way to much rum.

The unicorn took the mug in his magic and levitated it to the side with a yank, spilling some of its contents onto the floor. Just as he had feared, in front of him stood a green earth pony with an unruly black mane, wearing a wide brimmed hat of the same color. The mare's face was flushed from not only one drink, and her breath smelled like a distillery. She was grinning at him widely.

“Captain Buddeldot what is this? Your letter said you had to meet me and that it is urgent!” the unicorn exclaimed, shooting her a stern frown.

“Aye, it be urgent lad! It came to me ears that a baby dragon had been entrusted with organizing yer bachelor party!” she explained, her eyes wide in pretended terror. “But fret not!” she exclaimed raising a hoof, finding her grin once again. “Because when I heard that, I took it onto meself to throw ye a party on yer last day as a free colt. And this be it!”

She reached out with her hoof and shoved the mug of cider, still hanging in his levitation field, back into his field of vision. “So take a drink and lets get this party started. Well, obviously we have been warming up already, but now that ye are here, we can finally clap on full canvas!”

Amour lowered the mug again without even taking a nip. He turned and looked over the guests of his bachelor party. He raised an eyebrow. “Whom did you invite? Who are all of this ponies?”

Buddeldot stepped beside him and scratched the back of her head. “Invited some of the lads and lasses from the ranks.” She pointed her hoof at a dark gray unicorn who was getting himself cupcakes from the buffet. “That's one of yer ponies, forgot his name.” She went on pointing at other guest. “That lass hovering upside down be Captain Spitfire. This stuck up prick there is some Air-force general or something. This half bat lass be from the Nightguard; think she brought all of her friends. The blue lad with the pie there be another Wonderbolt I think.”

Shining Armor winced when he spotted a giant, cream colored mare who waved at him from the front of the stage. “I know that one,” he remarked and swallowed hard. “Did you bring your whole crew?” he snapped, focusing his attention back at Buddeldot.

The mare shrugged. “Word of the party spread like wildfire. Don't know half of the faces meself.”

“Aha,” the white unicorn replied dryly. “One of the punch bowls is on fire.”

“That be Armageddon Punch! Of course it is on fire!”

“And are those pole dancers in front of the stage?”

“Ha, aye lad. Spared no expanses!”

“Two mares and a stallion?”

“Didn't knew which ye preferred, so I got both!”

Shining Armor shook his head and turned back for the door. “I have seen enough.”

“What, ye can't leave. This is yer party. Ye didn't even drink yer first cider yet!” Buddeldot protested, walking after him.

The unicorn wheeled back around and stared angry daggers at her. “Buddeldot, you are a vile scoundrel! A vain, loose mare!”

“There be a gorgeous missing somewhere in there,” the mare threw in, but the stallion ignored her and went on in his angry tirade.

“You didn't make this party for me, but for your own amusement! You should very well know that I don't have time for this. Keeping up the shield spell is giving me headaches as it is.”

He raised his voice for everypony to hear. “I will go to bed now. And so should all of you. Canterlot is threatened and it is our duty to protect it! You should now better than to undermine discipline with this nonsense!”

“It be good for morale lad. Would do yer good to loosen up yourself too,” the seamare offered, prompting the guard captain to focus his attention back on her. He took a step closer and looked down on her menacing.

“That's Captain Shining Armor for you!” her exclaimed, then inched even closer, until he almost touched the mare's snout with his own. “I don't know why the princess trust you, pirate” he hissed with an angry snarl. “But I am not your lad, not your mate and most importantly not your friend!” He glared at the seafarer for a second more, who just looked back at him with sad frown, then wheeled around and stomped to the door.

But before he reached it, it burst open and a brown stallion wheeled in a pink frosted cake, that barely fit through the door, on a sack truck. “I have a cake for the bachelor party of one Shining Armor. Is that here?” the delivery pony asked, reading the name from a note.

Before anypony could speak up, the top of the cake burst open; out of it rose a pink pony with a candy cotton mane and spread her front legs wide. “Surprise!” she yelled and threw confetti into the air. Shining Armor shot another frown to Buddeldot over his shoulder.

“I didn't order this,” the mare said, looking at the cake confused.

With an angry snort the unicorn turned back to the door and left the tavern, shoving himself past the cake and the delivery stallion without another word.

Buddeldot looked after him for a few moments. Silence had fallen over the tavern, and she could feel everypony's eyes on her back. She turned around to face the crowd and readjusted the fit of her hat. “Right then,” she said, and a smile crept back onto lips, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. “We may be short our bachelor, but this is still a party!” Her call was answered by an energetic roar from several dozen throats. “So feast me friends like ye mean it! I want to celebrate a birthday party in eleven months!”

Some of the crowd looked at her statement confused; some laughed; others, especially couples, tried to hide their blushes.

Buddeldot herself laughed guttural, then she picked up the mug of cider that Shining Armor had not touched and emptied it in one draw.

“Birthday party?” the pony on top of the cake inquired. “That's great, I love birthday parties!” she exclaimed and bounced out of the baked good, landing right besides the seamare.

“Who are you?” Buddeldot asked her, raising an eyebrow.

.oOo.

When Princess Luna entered her chambers after a long night of keeping watch over Canterlot, she noticed a faint smell of rum. Her ears twitched, as she heard a pony singing in a low voice.

The princess' horn lit up in a light blue aura, and she closed the double doors that let to her room behind her quietly. She walked through her chamber's parlor, her brow wrinkled in concern, and through the silken curtains that separated it from her solar. The spacious living room was from where the hoarse singing came.

Even though it was well past sunrise, her private quarters lay in darkness. Thick, purple curtains were drawn over the windows. The only light source in the room was a flickering oil lamp standing on a round tea table at the right side of the room. In the small circle of light it provided, hunched over the table, her head rested on one hoof while the other played idly with an empty bottle of rum, sat Buddeldot, absentmindedly singing a song.

There are no more tales to be told
No more stories from battles of old

Now it seems our journey has come to an end
We are scraping the barrel me friend

“Your songs are not usually this sad!” the Princess of the Night remarked, taking a seat at the other side of the table. “And you don't usually bring your drinking to my chambers.”

Buddeldot stopped singing. “Ahoy Luna,” she mumbled without even raising her head.

“What got you so wrought up?” The alicorn reached with her hoof for the seafarer's one. When she touched the hoof, the rum bottle rolled forgotten to the side, and the seamare returned her gesture with the faintest motion of her hoof.

“Nothing, just tired from partying, 'tis all,” she replied, averting her eyes.

Luna raised an eyebrow, but didn't prod further. “So how was the bachelor party? Did you have fun?” she inquired after a few moments of just holding the mare's hoof.

Buddeldot let out a sigh. “It was great, everypony had lots of fun. Everypony except the bachelor the party was for!”

“So Shining Armor didn't have time to show up after all?”

“Nay, I tricked him and he showed up alright. Stomped out a minute later though.”

The word 'stomped' made Luna pause. “So, he didn't like the party?” she inquired cautiously. Buddeldot finally looked up, let go of her hoof and raised herself to a sitting potion.

“He hated everything!” the seafarer exclaimed, raising a hoof. “Didn't like the food nor drinks, didn't like the music nor the dancers. But most off all he did nay like the company!” she explained in an angry tirade.

“And with company you mean yourself.”

“He called me a pirate whore!” Buddeldot moaned, but quickly composed herself and averted her eyes. “Not that I give a damn what strangers call me.”

“Of course not!” Luna agreed with a sly smirk.

“I'm a grown mare. I stand above such things. No way I'd mope about something as stupid as that!”

Silence spread between the two, lasting for long moments, during which the seafarer only stared at a very interesting spot at the tapestry. “Except Shining Armor is no stranger but your brother in arms, and it bothers you to no end that he still thinks of you as a pirate!” Luna finally said in a calm and factual manner.

“Old Blackbeard still haunts me,” the seafarer groaned between clenched teeth, letting her head sink, so her black hat fell onto the floor, and her unruly mane tangled before her face.

With a benevolent smile on her face the alicorn stood up from her place at the table, walked around it, sat down behind the upset earth pony and cradled the smaller mare gently in her forelegs and wings. Buddeldot let herself go limp in her her loving embrace and leaned her cheek against her leg. “Was it the same for ye? Did ponies hate ye when you came back from being Nightmare Moon for a century? Did they still hate ye after a year, after two years?” she asked impassively, then craned her head back to look at her. “Do they still?”

Luna kissed her on the brow and pulled her closer. “Some ponies,” she explained. “But most of them love their Princess of the Night. And they will love you too, if they get to know you like I do.”

Buddeldot chuckled. “For everypony to know me like ye will put a great strain on me promiscuity!” she replied, shooting Luna a sultry smile.

“Oh shut up you! You know what I mean!” the princess scolded her and started to rub the mare’s belly where she knew she was the most ticklish. The seamare started giggling and squirmed in the alicorn's grasp, but Luna was unrelenting. Only when the other mare was rolling on the floor, trying to shield her underside with her legs and gasped: “I yield. . . I yield!” did the Princess of the Night stop her assault.

Luna leaned down to the breathless mare and gave her a soft kiss. “Let’s go to bed,” she said. “Getting a bit of sleep before the wedding later today will do us both good.”

Buddeldot stumbled to her hooves with some difficulty and started swaying towards the bed. “Aye, ye probably right,” she yawned.

The alicorn followed her a few steps, but then sniffed and wrinkled her nose. Without warning her horn lip up and the glowing field of her telekinesis engulfed the drunken earth pony. “But first you take a bath! You are all sweaty and smell like a distillery!” she exclaimed as she walked to the bathroom, floating the mare in front of her.

Buddeldot struggled in the magic grasp, but it was no use. She finally gave in and let herself hang limp. “Damn ye filly, ye're imperious today. Be it a full moon again?” she slurred vexed, but shot her captor an amused smile none the less.

Luna just snorted and carried her into the bathroom without a word. Dozens of candles lit up by magic as they entered the room, bathing it in a soft orange light. The alicorn dumped the seafarer unceremoniously into the big bathing tube, that was set into the tiled floor of the room. Buddeldot gave a startled ‘oomph’ as she hit the floor of the tube. She rolled to a sitting position and brushed her mane out of her face, just as the princess opened the crane with her telekinesis and hot water started pouring into the tube.

The seamare splashed her hoof tentatively in the water. When she found it to her liking, she let herself slump down in the tube and breathed out a pleased sigh. After a moment of enjoying the liquid bliss rising on her coat, she shot Luna a lewd grin and gestured towards the free space in the tube right beside her. “Would ye at least join me in here? Bathing be boring on yer lonesome, don’t ye agree?”

She needn’t have asked; the Princess of the Night had already removed her regal vestments.

.oOo.

A persistent knocking on the door woke up the seafarer after -what she felt- was only a brief nap. “I’ll get it,” she groaned and carefully slipped out of her lovers embrace, not wanting to disturb the sleep the princess clang stubbornly on to.

Blinking and swaying on her hooves sleep drunk, the earth pony made her way for the main doors. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” she grumbled when another series of knocks sounded from the entrance. She opened one of the double doors with her hoof and greeted the pony that had knocked while ruffling her own mane. “Yes?” she said, yawning widely.

On the other side of the door stood a gray coated unicorn with a light-red mane, wearing a maiden's dress. She was levitating a silver tablet with a steaming pot, that spread the heavenly smell of freshly brewed coffee, a large bowl of fruits, oats, and nuts, and a jug of milk, but only one set of china on it. Her eyes went wide when she saw the seafarer, but she quickly composed herself and waited for the mare's approval.

Buddeldot's mood brightened considerably when she saw the staunch mare. “Arr, Serene! Come on in!” she whispered and stepped to the side. “And try to keep it down, Luna 's still asleep!”

The maid eyed her curiously, as she stepped into the parlor. She hesitated a moment, her eyes wandering all over the room, then she began walking towards the door that led to the solar with timid steps.

Buddeldot carefully closed the door and followed the maid, raising an eyebrow. She hurried her steppes to walk beside her. “So lass, did ye remember that special morning rum I asked ye for?” she inquired as the maid set the tray down on the tea table.

The unicorn turned to look at her, a sheepish simper on her face. “Sorry milady, I fear I have forgotten it,” she apologized meekly.

Buddeldot gave her a curious frown, then walked to the table and sniffed briefly on the coffee. Before the mare could do anything behind her back, the seafarer wheeled around and bucked the table hard. The tray was thrown to the ground, and the china shattered. The coffee was spilled on the ground, where it quickly etched it's way through the carped, producing a cloud of black smoke.

With a sudden lunge the navy captain was in the mare's face. “Who are ye, and what have ye done to the real Serene Glint?” she shouted and drew her lips back in a snarl.

The unicorn winced and began to back away from her. “What do you mean? I am the real Serene. There is no other!” she stammered, cold sweat forming on her brow.

“Sure ye are!” Buddeldot spat. “Luna's personal maid, the only one that actually knows that I be here is surprised to see me and has forgotten that I don't drink rum for breakfast!”

The mare that was most likely not Serene Glint was slowly driven backwards by the ferocious seafarer. When Buddeldot hat finished her tirade, the unicorn's back hit a wall. Her head flew frantically from side to side, but with no apparent escape in sight, her eyes focused on the earth pony, and she bared her teeth with a vicious hiss, revealing long sharp fangs.

The Princess of the Night was finally yanked out of her lazy half sleep by a bright flash of green light and a loud commotion that broke out in the solar adjoined to her bedchamber. Her eyes widened, she quickly stumbled out of her bed and made a beeline to the door.

When she reached the solar, she bridled at the door and stared in wonder at what was happening. Two Buddeldots were rolling over the floor, wrestling and trading blows. “What's going on here?” the princess demanded, raising her voice.

On of the two earth ponies had finally managed to pin the other under her hooves, but the pony on the ground resisted stubbornly and had grabbed her hooves. “She be an impostor, blast her!” the one on the top shouted and managed to land a hit on the other mare's face.

Luna began to summon magic energies to the tip of her horn in a bright wisp of light, but she still hesitated, her gaze skipping between the two earth ponies.

The lower one took a few more hits before she trapped the other mare's hoof under the bow of her foreleg. She spat blood and glared daggers at her opponent. “Nay, ye can't be sure. Blast us both!” she cried out.

A bright flash lit up the room and drenched the two fighting ponies in its brilliant light. A devious grin spread on the bottom seafarers face, and she tightened her grip, making sure the other her would not go anywhere.

The Princess of the Night released her spell, and a lance of cracking energy crashed into the two combatants. The magic attack flung them to the fare side of the room, where they hit a mirror and destroyed a cabinet. The mares slouched to the ground, their coats smoldering, and neither one got up again.

Another flash of green light lit up the room. Luna was boggled for a moment, but quickly composed herself. She trotted over to the Buddeldot that had hit the mirror and nudged her with her muzzle. “Are you alright?”

The seamare blinked and twitched. “Damn it Luna! Why didn't ye just blast the changeling? I was even holding it in place for ye!” she groaned, and started to gather herself up.

The princess smiled and nuzzled the mares neck. “Like you said; I couldn’t be sure you were the real one.”

“The hay you could. As if a changeling would tell you to blast it!” Buddeldot complained as she came to her hooves.

“And I was sure you could take whatever I threw at you!” Luna added with a sly smirk and started walking over to where the impostor was laying on the floor.

“It still hurts ye know,” the seafarer muttered under her breath and followed her.

“A changeling you say? What a curious creature!” the princess remarked, looking down at the true from of the shape changer. It looked like a cross between a pony and a beetle with black chitin plates on its body, holes in its legs and knife like fangs protruding from its mouth. It had taken the blunt of the alicorn's attack, but was still drawing breath.

“Aye, a changeling! It be some sort of space bug. Can take the form of anypony and absorbs their life or something like that.” Buddeldot explained and poked the creature with her hoof, but didn't provoke any reaction.

“I have never even heard of such a creature. How do you know this?” Luna asked perplexed, shooting the mare a curious frown.

“I had a run in with them a long time ago in the far future,” she explained and walked over to the coffee table, where she gather her hat, that was still laying on the floor.

“You're making little sense. That is even less sense than usual!”

“Wibly wobly timey whimy,” Buddeldot explained, while she put her hat on. She turned back to the princess and looked at her gravely. “'tis doesn't matter, but I know that where there be one changeling, there be a swarm! We have to warn your sister!”

“Alright, I will head over to her at once!” Luna exclaimed and walked for the balcony doors. She parted the curtains with a tug of her magic and sunlight flooded the room. Both ponies squinted their eyes, blinded by the sudden brightness. When the princess had regained her sight, she noticed the standing of the sun with a shock.

“We overslept! Serene didn't wake us in time. The wedding will already have started!” she exclaimed.

Buddeldot opened her mouth to reply, but before she could get any words out, Luna cried out in pain and stumbled to her knees. The seafarer hurried to her side and braced her by laying a hoof around her chest. “Luna, what's wrong?”

With the earth pony's help the princess eventually managed to stagger back to her hooves. “It's Tia,” she gasped breathless. “She has been defeated!”

Suddenly a thundering crash shook the whole city, and both Buddeldot and the princess were almost thrown off their hooves. When the ground stopped shaking, they stormed out to the balcony and craned their heads back. Above them the protective sphere, that had been cast by Shining Armor, shattered like glass and vanished from existence. At once projectiles wrapped in green magefire stated raining down all over the city. One hit the balcony right before the two ponies; Luna and Buddeldot shielded their faces with their hooves, as the impact showered them with splinters of marble.

When their lowered their hooves, a changeling raised itself before them from a small crater. Its solid blue eyes fixed onto them, and the creature shot them a venomous hiss.

It was the most unlucky changeling of them all. Before it could do anything else, the two mares wheeled around and bucked it simultaneously. The creature was thrown over the balcony's railing in a flat arc; Buddeldot and Luna watched, as it vanished in the gardens two stories below.

When it was gone, the Princess of the Night raised her head. “I have to help my sister at once!” she exclaimed and jumped into the air. She hovered two steps over the ground, and her horn began to shine brightly with a teleportation spell. But just as she wanted to cast it, somepony yanked her by her tail; her magic dissipated and she was pulled back to the ground.

Luna turned around and glared at Buddeldot. The seafarer spat out the alicorn's mane and raised a hoof before she could object. “Not so fast lass!” the captain scolded her. “If yer sister has been defeated, there is a good chance they can defeat ye too, if ye jump into there blind!”

The princess opened her mouth to protest, but the other mare continued her tirade before she could get any words out. “And we can nay have that!” the seafarer exclaimed. “The city is under attack. Our ponies will need at least one of their princesses undefeated to lead them!”

Her words took the wind out of Luna's wrath; she took a deep breath and composed herself. “You are right. I cannot risk my person; it would compromise our leadership and play into our enemy's hooves.” She ground her teeth for a moment, waging her options, before she spoke up again. “I will go to the barracks of the Royal Guard and organize the resistance.”

Buddeldot nodded. “Good! Magic yerself ahead then. I will gather me crew and ready me ship in case we have to evacuate. I will usher any guards and civilians I meet along the way to ye and join up with ye later!”

She waited a moment until Luna approved her plan with a reluctant nod, then wheeled around and headed for the door. “Buddeldot!” the princess' call made her stop dead in her tracks and look over her shoulder, right into the other mare's worried eyes. “Be careful.” the Princess of the night said. The navy captain gave her a confident smirk and saluted. Only then did the alicorn summon her magic once more and vanished in a brilliant flash of light.

Buddeldot began trotting towards the palace corridors again. She had nearly reached them, when the doors burst open under the onslaught of green magic and spilled four changelings into the room. The mare was only taken aback for a second, then a wide grin spread on her face and she idly walked towards the umbrella stand next to the door. “If ye are looking for Luna, ye're to late. She already left. But don't ye worry I can still entertain ye!”

The changelings stared at her and looked at each other, unsure what to do. While they still hesitated, the seafarer rummaged trough the umbrellas and retrieved a long, black object; she hang it around her shoulder on a belt and squared off with the four changelings with a sinister glint shining in her eyes. “But maybe ye should get some help, because as I see it. . .” the captain told them, grabbed the well worn mouthpiece hanging just under her left shoulder with her teeth and drew her heavy cutlass from its sheath. “Ye brought hooves to a sword fight!”

The four changelings swallowed, regretting the day they deemed heavy armor was something for scarelings.

.oOo.

Four changelings were thrown out of a side door of the palace, leading to an open courtyard, that was normally used by the guard for their drills. The four crashed hard to the cobblestone ground and didn't get up again. Behind them came the green seamare; she trotted idly through the door, not gracing the twitching and moaning forms of her beaten enemies a second glance. Instead her eyes lit up in wonder, when she saw what curious commotion was going on on the plaza.

More than two dozen sky-blue pegasi were dashing all over the place. Buddeldot knew them, or at least she knew the original. Those long, sinewy limbs, the red windswept mane and the treasure map cutie mark belonged to no other than her first mate Far Stride. But even more curious was what had them in such an uproar. A lone cream coated earth pony was slugging it out with all of them at once. She lumbered among the pegasi like an ursa major; indomitable, their every attacks breaking uselessly against her steel knot muscles.

Buddeldot sheathed her sword and shook her head; one glance at the earth pony's cutie mark should have made the changelings know better than to attack her with such a feeble force. They should have brought heavy weapons, or better yet a battleship, for the bronze helmet on the filly's flank marked her as a fighting pony.

The earth pony grabbed one of her opponents by its tails and flung it like a wrecking ball at the others, laughing in exhilarated glee as she swatted them from the air like flies. When she saw the navy captain walk towards her, she let go of her weapon, and the changeling flew into a formation of its brethren, sending them all crashing to the ground in an entangled heap. “Ahoy captain!” the filly called and waved her hoof, only to slam it into the next changeling's face, that had dared to think her distracted.

“Ahoy Bold Stride!” Buddeldot replied and nudged the brim of her head with a hoof. She looked around the plaza and the dozen twitching forms of changelings laying on the ground. The seafarer gave a shrug and looked back at the mare. “Have ye seen yer brother? I mean the real one?”

“He was with me a moment ago, when I was sparring with some guys from the guard,” she explained, still dancing around, bucking and slugging pegasi as she went. “But when this black things came raining down he took the guards and made a run for it. I think they went for the armory.” She hit another of her attackers with a straight uppercut right under its chin and send it flying over the palace walls. “The creatures then all magicked themselves so they look like him.” She laughed and took the time to brush back her lion like, red mane with a hoof, before she jumped into the air, grabbed one of the pegasi circling overhead by its tail and dragged it to the ground. She wrestled the hissing warrior down and began punching him in the face. “It's like they knew how much I wanted to hit him! I'm having the time of my life!”

The filly jumped back to her hooves, grabbed the changeling -she had been hitting- by its mane and flung at some more who had gathered to attack her together, breaking their assault before it had even began. “You want some too captain? There's enough of them to go around!” she said nonchalantly, trapped a pegasus that tried to hit her with a tackle under the bow of her front leg and offered him to her superior.

Buddeldot considered her offer for a moment, but shook her head. “Tempting, but duty calls. Gotta get the crew and ready the ship. And that goes for ye too lass! Stop foaling around and get yer brother and every other crewmare ye find to the ship. Send any other pony ye find to the barracks, Luna is waiting for them.” She waited for a second until she got a reluctant nod from Bold Stride, then wheeled around and made a run for the palace gates, heading for the city itself.

The earth pony let out a sigh and turned towards their attackers, that used the brief pause in battle to form up again. Bold Stride started towards them with a serious frown on her face. She leaned her head from side to side, making her spine crack. “You heard the captain,” she said and quickened her steps. “Playtime’s over!”

The dozen changelings that were still standing suddenly wished they were somewhere else.

.oOo.

A certain light-brown stallion with a hourglass cutie mark found himself in yet another pinch. Trying to get an orange maned mare and a little foal to safety, an unlucky navigational mistake had instead stranded them in the dead end of a narrow Canterlot street. The Doctor had his back against a wall, and the mare shielded the little one with her foreleg, as a changeling warrior closed in on them, licking his dripping fangs.

Without warning a hat wearing pony rammed into its flank in a flying dropkick. The creature crashed into the alley's wall and slouched to the ground, out cold.

The time pony couldn't believe his own luck, and his eyes lit up when he recognized the pony that had saved the three of them. “Buddeldot?” he asked, as the mare gathered herself up and straightened her hat.

“Oh, ahoy Doctor! Long time no see!” she replied, and a jubilant grin spread on her face. She walked towards him and hugged the baffled stallion like an old friend. “Fancy meeting ye here. I heard ye live in Ponyville now, got a mare and foals and everything.”

The Doctor eventually recovered from his surprise and patted her on the back. “Ah yes, and I'd love to share news with you, but I think we have more pressing concerns at the moment.”

The seafarer drew back from the hug, shot a look at the main street that was flooded with fleeing ponies and changelings chasing them, and at the mare and foal standing besides her and the time pony. “Ai, we have,” she said and turned towards the later.

The earth pony took of her hat, pressed it to her chest and bowed before the two civilians. “I'm Captain Buddeldot of the Royal Equestrian Navy. Have now fear, ye are save with me.” she said, then straightened herself and put her hat back. “Follow me, I lead ye to a save harbor!”

The mare and the foal looked at her with open mouths, but eventually nodded and made ready to leave the alley. The three of them had walked a few steps, when Buddeldot looked over her shoulder to the still hesitating time pony. “And ye come along too. I was looking for me navigator, but seeing as I can't find him, ye have to fill in!” she exclaimed. Finally the Doctor jumped up and hurried to catch up with her. “I hope ye know basic aeronautic navigation,” the seafarer remarked when he had caught up with her.

But all four ponies boggled when they reached the main street. Before them stood a whole battalion of changeling warriors, rowing every street, every rooftop, their numbers blacking out the sun.

The civilian mare and the foal backed away and crouched together behind the other ponies. Buddeldot ground her teeth; her eyes darted around, but everywhere she looked there were fangs grinning at her, dripping venom. “Alright, looks like we have to fight our way out,” the seafarer grumbled and drew her cutlass. “Doctor, cover me back.”

But before it came to any violence, the time pony stepped in front of her and threw his fore legs up. “We surrender!” he exclaimed.

Buddeldot stared at him; her yaw dropped and her sword fell clattering to the ground. She looked around the advancing changelings and gave them a sheepish simper. “Parley?”

The warriors just grinned and drew their circle around the ponies tighter, but just as they jumped them, a growling thunder echoed from the palace. The changelings turned around, and their eyes widened in shock; a pink shock wave erupted from the throne room. Wherever it hit a changeling, the creature was thrown into the air by the arcane force. Every warrior that had been ambushing the four ponies a second before now dashed away in a headless panic. But there was no escaping the shock wave. It smashed through their ranks like a magic tsunami and swept every last one of them from the city. Their black forms vanished in the distance, and there was silence.

“Well, that was convenient!” the Doctor remarked and lowered his hooves.

Buddeldot just snorted. “What the hay?” she complained and stomped her hoof on the ground. “That was like I'm a side character in me own bucking story!” She shot an angry frown towards the palace proper, then gathered her fallen weapon and rammed it back in its sheath.

The Doctor had helped the startled mare and the foal back to their hooves and walked past the moping navy captain. “I think its a nice change; not having to save the world for once.” Buddeldot just stared at him, as he walked towards the palace, the two civilians following him. He stopped and looked at her back over his shoulder. “Come on!” he said. “We still have to find out what happened and where the changeling queen is, and I heard you have acquainted yourself with Princess Luna, so that's where we should start.”

That finally managed to get the earth pony moving again, and she jumped into a trot to catch up with the other ponies, then took the lead. “Luna should be at the barracks, this way!”

.oOo.

“So let me get this straight,” Buddeldot said to princess Luna. “Cadence had been replaced by the changeling queen, and she had Shining Armour under her spell for days, feeding of his love.” The alicorn nodded. “And only his sister had the presence of mind to notice anything strange?” the seafarer went on. “And then she freed the real Cadance, and she and Shiny blasted the invasion away. With their love?”

“That is the essence of it, yes.”

Buddeldot pondered all of that a moment. She and the Doctor had arrived at the barracks a few minutes earlier. The guard was already busy bringing back order into the city. Luna had spoken to her sister and taken up command while Celestia rested from her lost duel.

The three ponies stood in the buildings inner courtyard, and soldiers were buzzing all around them, relaying orders, reporting back for duty or carrying medical supplies.

Finally the seamare's face lit up with a wide grin. “That be brilliant!”

“What is?” asked both the princess and the Doctor at the same time.

“That means we have to hold the wedding again, which means I get another chance to hold a bachelor party!”

Luna rolled her eyes, and the time pony looked at her curious, raising an eyebrow. “You know there are still changelings out there. We may have them on the run, but they will be back if we don't drive them off planet!”

Buddeldot waved his concerns off with a hoof. “Ye two go then, I have a party to tend to!”

Luna looked at her in wonder. “You pass an opportunity for travel and adventure to hold a feast?”

Instead of answering, the seamare had already wheeled around an galloped off. “I guess you do,” the princess remarked and turned to the stallion. “So good Doctor, the last time I have seen you, you still were a unicorn and told Starswirl he was a foalish oaf with a beard!” she exclaimed and gave him a reminiscent smile.

“Ah yes, your majesty, I remember that day. It didn't stop him from completing his time travel spell though.” His eyes became unfocused, as if he was seeing back in time itself; he sounded old and full of remorse when he spoke again. “That was a long time ago. For both you and me.”

“Well, we have a lot catching up to do then!” Luna said and tucked him under her wing. “We can do that along the way! Say were did you park your little box?”

The touch shook the stallion out of his melancholy and he looked around for a second to get his bearing. “Ah yes, this way please!” he finally exclaimed. “Just like in old times,” he added with a chuckle.

“Say Doctor, have you fixed that time navigation circuit by now?” Luna inquired as they left the barracks.

.oOo.

Princess Cadance looked at the note she had gotten again and checked the sign above the door once more; this was the place. Urgent meeting in “The Dancing Pony” said the letter, signed by Captain Buddeldot of the Royal Equestrian Navy. She shrugged, put the paper away and opened the door with her magic. Loud dancing music and thick, stale air greeted her with the familiar smell of alcohol and sweat. A party was running in this place, and it seemed to already be in full swing. The winged unicorn wrinkled her brow and stepped inside, biding the things to come.

As soon as she had closed the door behind her with her magic, the music stopped, and somepony held a mug ,overflowing with foaming cider, in front of her face. Cadance took it in her telekinetic field in reflex and gently floated it to the side. It revealed a smiling mare's face; her shining black mane was put back in a pony tail and she wore a rich, bordeaux-red vest that accented her voluptuous hips. For some reason she had decided to wear an old, battered black hat as well. “Welcome lass! We have been waiting for ye!” she exclaimed and gestured towards the ponies that had gathered behind her; everypony of which looked at the princess with eager anticipation shining in their eyes.

“What is this?” Cadence asked perplexed.

“This is yer bachlorette party! Yer last night as a free filly before ye become a married mare.” Buddeldot explained proudly. “Though when I was yer age ye were nay proper mare till ye gave birth to yer first foal,” she mumbled in an afterthought, rubbing her chin with her hoof.

The princess decided not to ask about that particular topic, and her gaze wandered over the guest of her party. “All of my friends are here. How did you know whom to invite?” she asked in wonder.

“Arr, I asked ye best friend to write the invitations,” the seamare explained, and on cue a slender, white unicorn waved at the bride-to-be from the crowd.

Cadence nodded and took a look at the tavern's common room. On a small stage a DJ had set up her equipment; the filly with a flashing blue and blued striped mane nodded at her from the turntables when she noticed the princess' eyes on her. The horned pegasus gave her a wave with her wing and focused her attention back on Buddeldot. “One of the punch bowls is on fire.”

“Aye, that be red wine punch. Devious swill that be, sugary sweet and gives ye tartarus of a hangover.”

The princess nodded absentmindedly; she had just spotted something more interesting in front of the stage. “Are those pole dancers over there?”

“Aye, spared no expanses!”

“Two stallions and a mare?”

The seafarer gave her a sheepish smile. “I may have bribed one of yer hoofmaidens; don't be mad at her, 'twas for a good cause.”

Cadence looked at all of that once again in wide eyed wonder and made several small nods.

“Do ye like it?” Buddeldot asked her, leaning closer and biting her lower lip.

“Like it?” the princess asked as her gaze turned back to the seafarer. She led the words hang in the air for a few seconds, and everypony held their breath and stared at her.

“I love it!” Cadence exclaimed, and her face lit up with a wide grin. She floated the mug of cider back to her and emptied its contents in one draw, then threw the empty cup behind her. “This is a party everypony! Lets get dancing!”

All of the guest began cheering, the music started up again and ponies streamed onto the open space in front of the stage.

Buddeldot's eyes were shining and she grinned at the princess from ear to ear. Without warning she embraced her in a tight hug. “Shiny be truly the most lucky stallion in all of Equestria lass!” she said, patted her on the back, then drew back again.

Cadence just looked at her with a confused simper, and the seafarer chuckled. She took off her head, placed it over her chest and bowed before the bride-to-be. “Would ye grant this old seamare the honor of the first dance?”

The princess just chuckled and shooed the silly mare towards the dance floor.

.oOo.

With a swelling, screeching groan a blue box materialized at the edge of the Canterlot palace gardens. Out of it walked the royal form of princess Luna. Her ears twitched and she boggled when she heard music coming from the garden's main plaza. “Stars above! I'm late again, the wedding party has already started!” she exclaimed and jumped into a frantic flight.

Behind her a light brown stallion in a black tuxedo, wearing a top hat, left the time machine and stepped to the side. “The party?” he wondered and wrinkled his brow. “Ah, close enough! Come on dear, we're here. The Royal Wedding in Canterlot, just like I promised.

He turned back and bowed to a gray pegasus with blond mane that just walked out of the Tardis. She was wearing a light-blue dress, and her golden eyes looked into different directions. She smiled at the stallion when he raised himself again, but it was quickly replaced by a frown. She began fiddling with the time pony's red bow tie, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth in concentration. “Alright. Now we can go!” she chirped when she was satisfied with the fit.

The Doctor gave her a sheepish smile, bowed again and offered his hoof. “Would you give me honor of a dance my lady?” The pegasus giggled happily and tugged him under her wing. The two ponies headed to the music, happily leaning onto each other.

After Princess Luna had greeted the freshly married couple, her sister and the Elements of Harmony, she went to look for Buddeldot and finally found her sitting alone at a table in a dark corner of the party proper. She was wearing her official parade uniform, a dark blue jacket with four golden stripes on the shoulders and two rows of golden buttons. She wasn't wearing the marvelous, feathered bicorne that went with the uniform though, instead her usual old felt hat sat on her brow. Luna shook her head. How the captain got away with her sloppiness without repercussions from her admiral boggled her mind; to complete her break of protocol the seafarer even wore her jacket without a single button closed.

Buddeldot's eyes lit up and she waved when she saw the alicorn approaching. “Ahoy Luna! I already feared ye wouldn’t make it in time.” The princess returned her smile and joined the mare at her table.

“After we repulsed the changelings me and the Doctor had a little . . . detour.” Luna explained, averting her eyes.

“I see,” replied Buddeldot. “So ye had. . . navigational difficulties.”

“Yes, let's call it that!” the princess immediately agreed. “But look, I found a marvelous wedding present for Cadance on the way!” she exclaimed and quickly levitated a gold inlaid cherrywood box onto the table. She turned the box towards Buddeldot and pushed it to her end of the table with a huge grin on her face.

The seafarer raised an eyebrow and opened the lid of the box. When she saw what was inside, she tilted her head to the side and lifted three plum sized, shining silver spheres connected by a red threat from the box. She wriggled them tentatively and found that they had to be hollow, but the middle once danced on the string just a bit longer than she shook it, as if there was some loose ballast inside of it. “What are these?”

Luna clapped her hooves together. “They are called Ben Wa balls. I found them on a market in feudal neighppon. I'm actually surprised you don't know about them.”

“So, what be they for?” Buddeldot asked, eying the objects curiously. The other mare gave her a sly grin, leaned over and began whispering into her ear.

“Uhu. . . aha.” The seafarer's eyes went wide in wonder after a few moments and she eyed the balls ever more curious. “I see,” she finally said; a slight blush had spread on her face and she put the spheres back into the box. Eventually a mischievous grin found its way to her lips, and she looked back at Luna. “I bet Cadence will love it! And Shiny even more. They will both love it!”

The two ponies broke out laughing and giggling. “Isn't this the best wedding present you ever heard of?” she asked eventually. “While I was at it, I brought some for the Doctor's wife too. Marvelous mare! So bright and cheerful. I can see why she succeeded in getting that stallion to settle down.” Even while she explained it, the seafarer shook with more laughter and held her belly; it only stopped when the princess levitated another box onto the table. “I brought some for you too!” she exclaimed. It managed to make the navy captain fall silent immediately. She tried to hide an even deeper blush under the brim of her head.

Luna chuckled, leaned over to the other mare and breathed words into her twitching ear. “I brought some for myself as well,” she whispered. “I'm wearing them right now.”

Slowly Buddeldot raised her head and revealed shining eyes and impossibly lewd grin. “Right,” she exclaimed. “Say, would ye like to dance?”

Both mares shared an impish laugh, and Luna took the smaller pony under her wing. They too walked towards the garden's main plaza and joined the other ponies in their dance.

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