The Adventures of Captain Buddeldot

by Sebbaa

Great and Powerful

The Adventures of Captain Buddeldot
by Sebbaa

Great and Powerful

The magic show promised to be the most exciting event in Trotterdam since the spring kelp festival. Chances were good it would become the talk of the town for weeks, maybe months to come, replacing the wild stories of that mad-pony captain. A seamare who had deemed the small town harbor to be deep enough for her sloop, with the result that her ship touched ground and almost keeled over every low tide. Its dangerously angled masts could be seen even now, towering over the rooftops and swaying in front of the rising moon.

The show was already in full swing, and The Great and Powerful Trixie had come to her favorite part. The part where she ridiculed the locals at their own game. Another challenger left the stage in tears, followed by the crowd's laughter. The show-mare had yet to come across a town where the locals didn't enjoy when their town's overly self-confident and boastful youths were put in their place. She bowed before the cheering crowd. One of her admirers took a bouquet of flowers from the pony next to him and threw it onto the stage. The unicorn caught it in her magic and took it gracefully in the bow of her leg. She smelled the flowers and gave a warm smile for the audience.

“Hey! My lunch!” the pony whose flowers it had been protested. It was no use, this was Trixie's lunch now. She levitated them backstage for later, then struck a pose, preparing for her next trick. Fireworks went off as she reared on her hindlegs and flared her cloak. “Isn't there anypony who can best the Great and Powerful Trixie? Nopony who can stand in the face of her earth-shattering magical powers?”

The crowd fell silent, only the whispers of the few ponies who encouraged their friends to make a foal of themselves was heard from time to time.

“Ten bits!” a call from the back of the crowd broke the silence. Ponies stepped aside to form a path for whoever had dared to call out.

“Ten bits?” Trixie asked, confused. Her voice traveled well over the crowd, amplified by the enchantments of her stage. With the path now clear a pine green earth pony with an unkempt black mane and tail, wearing a wide brimmed hat of the same color, was revealed. With one last gulp she emptied a bottle of some brown liquid, that was simply marked with xxx, and threw it behind her with a tug of her head. She burped and swiped her mouth on her fetlock, before she spoke up.

“Well, if I am to go out of me way for the amusement of this here peasants,” she began, rolling her R. She walked toward the stage deliberately slow, swaying from side to side. “There should be something in it for me.” Her voice was coarse, but had a thick quality to it, like liquid honey mixed with half a bottle of rum. She had reached the front of the stage and stared up at the Great and Powerful, her eyes tiny and her grin wide. “So lets make this a game!” she proposed, and tilted her head slightly. “I bet ye ten bits ye can't best me. Simple as that.”

The unicorn shrank back involuntary as the mare's stare sent shivers down her spine, but she quickly caught herself and regained her composure. She took a look at the earth pony's cutie mark, a ship in a bottle filled halfway with rum, and frowned. 'She seams to be a seafarer. Maybe her special talent is drinking. Well she will be in for a surprise if she challenges me for a drinking contest. Got a spell for that,' she thought, then spoke up for everypony to hear. “Deal! Come on stage and tell the audience who has the audacity to challenge the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

The drunken mare chuckled and climbed onto the stage awkwardly, ignoring the stairs that let up to it and almost falling backwards, her hind legs waving helplessly in the air. Eventually she managed to gain the stage and her hooving, and she placed herself beside Trixie, halfway facing her, halfway the crowd. “Great and Powerful me arse, must introduce meself with a title too.” she mumbled to herself, before rearing on her hindlegs like Trixie had done, waving her forelegs for balance, swaying and almost toppling back over. “I'm Captain Blackbeard the Dread-pirate!” she shouted for everypony to hear. When she landed back on her four hooves, the crowd had fallen silent, staring at her confused, somepony could be heard coughing.

“You don't even have a beard.” Trixie pointed out dryly, looking at the other mare in contempt. The self proclaimed pirate looked left and right at the nodding ponies in the audience, then felt her own chin with a hoof.

“Blast it!” she cursed. “I knew I should have kept that beard!” She took off her hat and scratched herself behind the left ear. “That explains the lack of running and cowering,” she mumbled to herself. “Well then,” she finally said, putting her hat back, and finding her self confident, drunken smirk again. “Call me Captain Buddeldot!”

“Right. . .” the show-pony replied with a raised eyebrow. 'This is going to be foal's play.' She faced the crowd, letting her own cape flap in arcane wind, before she spoke up. “So tell Buddeldot, to what do you challenge the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

Buddeldot lowered her head menacing and took a step closer. “I challenge ye to a staring contest!” she declared. Laughter came deep from her throat, when she saw the surprise in the unicorns face. “Ye thought me special talent be drinking lass, didn't ye?” Well, I can't blame ye, 'tis a common mistake.”

Trixie stomped her hoof in anger and faced the seafarer. She was confident the mare's special talent wasn't staring either. “The great and Powerful Trixie accepts your challenge! Let the starring begin!” she announced.

And thus they began their contest. The show-mare was staring intently, her face tense with concentration. She glared into her opponent's sky-blue eyes with fierce determination. Buddeldot's approach was quite different. She still had the look of a satisfied drunk on her face and her head was swaying from side to side. One of her eyes was half closed, and both of her eyelids twitched randomly; yet her eyes stayed open none the less.

Trixie got the feeling that the other mare was not even looking at her, but beyond her, ignoring her completely. It made her furious; she barred her teeth and leaned forward, doubling her efforts to stare down the seamare. If Buddeldot gave any reaction to that, it was her smile widening slightly.

The Great and Powerful was becoming impatient; her eyes started to burn slightly as they became dry. 'I'm not going to be defeated by a brain-dead drunk!' she thought. The corners of her mouth turned upward as she channeled arcane energies into her horn. All it took to trigger her stage's pyrotechnics was a little telekinetic tug. With a loud boom a bright flash and a colorful shower of sparks from the foremost fountains went off right next to the two of contestants.
Even with triggering it herself and being used to it, Trixie almost blinked when the fireworks went off. She was sure she had won, there was no way that. . .

Her victory smile died on her face. Buddeldot had not reacted to the explosion at all. “Ever fired a real cannon lass?” she chuckled.

The unicorn became furious, she could feel the heat rushing to her face all the way to her ears. She took a step forward, until their snouts were almost touching, and bore into the earth pony's eyes with a razor sharp glare. 'She actually has nice eyes, so deep and blue. A mare could loose herself in those. Is it just me, or is she actually looking kinda sad?' she thought and her stare lost it's edge for a second, as she lost train of her own thoughts. 'Stop it Trixie! What are you thinking? She is the enemy! Don't be a fool and finish this!' She composed herself, putting new vigor into her glare and began drawing upon her magic for another spell.

This time Buddeldot didn't let her finish. Without warning she leaned forward herself; her lips met the unicorns and she swiped the mare off her hooves into a passionate embrace. The show-mare's concentration broke, she dropped her spell and lost herself, drowning in the tidal wave that was the seapony's kiss. She just reflected how Buddeldot tasted of kelp and rum and how that made her think of great adventure on the high seas, when she noticed that her eyes were closed.

She yanked them back open and found herself reflected in the seapony's still open eyes. She broke the kiss, pushed the other mare away from her and quickly got back on her hooves. Trixie composed herself, straightening her cloak and levitating her hat back into place. She took the shortest possible glance at the seamare too confirm that she was indeed looking at her with an annoyingly smug smirk, before raising her head high, deliberately avoiding to look at the her.

She briefly noted that the crowd was cheering and applauding wildly. “So with your cheep tricks you have bested the Great and Powerful Trixie. But don't let that go to your head. In a fair fight you'd still be no match for her awesome, reality warping abilities!” she spoke haughtily, then levitated ten bits from her saddlebags backstage and tossed them in the winning mare's general direction, without looking at her. “Now take your stupid money and go!”

Buddeldot caught the gold coins in her open hat, bowed to Trixie, then bowed to the crowed. She put her hat back in its place and finally left the stage in search of the next tavern.

The show-mare shot one last glance after her and blushed slightly as she found her eyes drawn to the other mare's voluptuous hips. She shook her head to get the image out of it and proceeded to wrap up her show and call it a night.

.oOo.

Celestia's sun had not yet risen over the horizon, when Trixie made her way out of town. She was drawing her show-mare's house-wagon along the towns main cobblestone road in a slow and steady trot. A commotion at the front door of a tavern made her slow down and turn her ears in the direction of the angry crowd.

“Get out of there and face us scoundrel! We have a rope waiting for your neck!” the spokespony of the lynch mob yelled up to the second story of the tavern, as other tried to batter the door in.

Trixie quickly trotted on, keeping her head low, not wanting to be caught up in any of this. But fate usually had a different plan than her. When she was passing the tavern, a second story window burst from the inside; splinters of wooden shutters rained on the ground all around her. Something heavy landed an the roof of her wagon with the clopping of four hooves. When the unicorn turned around, her eyes widened in surprise. “You?”

“Aye! It is I, Captain Buddeldot. Good thing you were around lass. That landing would have been painful if not for you and your cart. Perfect timing really!” the infamous seamare spoke as she gathered herself, wiped splinters from her hat and climbed onto the driver's seat. “Quick now, get us out of here!”

Trixie stomped her hoof in anger. “What? You rotten, obnoxious, self-centered, vile, corrupt, stinking. . .”

“Ravishing,”

“. . .ravishing scoundrel! Get of my wagon this instant!” Trixie demanded, forcefully.

“Ye mean the Great and Powerful Trixie's wagon?”

“Yes, I mean the Great and Powerful Trixie's wagon!” the unicorn yelled, her face red with anger.

“There she is! Get her!” The crowd had finally come around the corner and spotted the target of their vigilantism.

“Blast it!” Buddeldot cursed. “Get a move on, lass, or they'll get us!”

“Get you, you mean. Trixie is sure you earned whatever punishment is coming for you!”

“Plan B then.” the seamare mumbled, then rose her voice so that her pursuers would hear her next words. “Go now me hearty! Just like we had planned all along!”

“As if anypony would fall for that,” Trixie mentioned dryly, rolling her eyes.

“She has an accomplice. Get them both, before they can escape!” somepony from the crowd yelled, and the others quickly fell in tune with her.

“You've got to be kidding me!” The show-mare cussed, not believing her own ears.

Buddeldot produced a horse's bridle from under the drivers seat, swung it above her head like a lasso and flung it over the unicorn's head. She slung the reins around her forehooves and snapped them sharply. “Now go ye old nag! Break yer back and crack yer oars!” she yelled at the show-mare.

Trixie reared on her hindlegs, shocked by this kind of mistreatment and with an angry mob coming for her precious neck, she jumped into a gallop. The wagon began to race down the road out of town. She briefly wondered why she even kept those bridles on her wagon, but quickly reminded herself, that she had more pressing concerns.

“How the hay are we going to outrun them with me drawing a wagon?” she shouted back at the mare on the driver's seat. Buddeldot gave her an amused chuckle.

“That would be the rule of cool lass. Everypony will jump at the opportunity for a proper wagon chase, even if they'd be a featherflank that could catch a carriage on the fly!” the seamare explained. And she had it true enough; Trixie saw that the crowd had broken up the chase to get some sort of transport themselves. The first open cart appeared way behind them, drawn by two ponies, four others driving on it. She almost allowed herself to slow down, when the saw one pony flying towards them, who wasn't delayed by getting a wagon.

“And what about him?” she screamed frantically.

“Well, there be always an exception to the rule,” the earth pony replied, as the pegasus drew up to fly next to the wagon. Buddeldot pulled on the left rein, steering Trixie and the wagon, and rammed the flying pony in his flank. The impact sent him of course; he lost control and crashed into a thorn bush. His screams of agony could be heard a few seconds later. The seapony laughed gutturally and let the show-unicorn's reins loose. The galloping mare steered the wagon back to the center of the road.

“What have you done to enrage the town's ponies like this anyway?” she whined, shooting the other mare an angry glare over her shoulder.

“Arr, ye know, skipped the tap in every tavern, won too many games of dice, add some angry husbands and wives, the usual!” Buddeldot explained nonchalantly.

With the raising clattering of galloping ponies the cart with the six pursuers caught up with the escaping mares. “They be gaining on us, lass! Prepare for boarding!” the captain shouted, fastening the reins on the site of the seat.

“They’re what? This isn't a ship you know!” the single mare, that drew their escape vehicle, complained agitatedly.

The first assailant jumped from the cart, landing on the back of their wagon. Buddeldot turned around to face the red-brown earth pony; she was armed to the teeth, meaning that she was holding a long dagger in her mouth. Buddeldot grinned cocksure and reached down to her left shoulder. The smile died on her face, when her teeth closed around empty air. She slowly turned to face the mare again, a forced simper on her lips. “I'm sure we can talk about this,” she said. The vigilant raised an eyebrow, not stabbing her for the time being. “The thing between me and yer husband. . . totally his idea!”

She had to duck really fast, when the enraged mare slashed at her face in a wide, angry swipe. The force of the furious attack let her swing go far over its mark, and she took a moment to recover from it. Buddeldot used the opportunity, lunged forward and rammed her head under the other mare's chin. The armed earth pony stumbled backwards, and the seafarer followed her motion, climbing onto the back of the wagon. She wheeled around and bucked her staggering opponent in the chest; the kick sent her flying from the wagon in a high arc.

But the seafarer had no time to recover; a second pony jumped onto the roof. It was an a navy-blue pegasus wielding an old, rusty scimmitar; he cut at her legs as he landed. Buddeldot barely managed to jump over the blade, then had to duck again as he made a high blow at her head. Seeing an opening, she stepped in his guard and bit into his left foreleg, drawing blood. He screamed out in pain, dropping his weapon in the process. The earth-pony rolled halfway on her back and caught the falling sword in her teeth, then sprang back up, bucking her opponent in the same motion. The pegasus got hit in his flank, and fell back into the cart, knocking one of his mates off his hooves. That brought Buddeldot a few seconds time; she took firm stance in the center of the roof and gave the blade a few testing swings.

“This stupid chase is all your fault! I'm a show-mare, not some dumb draft horse, I shouldn’t be forced to draw my own wagon like this!” Trixie complaint loudly.

“Aye? So ye want to do the fighting?” Buddeldot asked, already engaged into a duel with the last armed assailant. They were dancing around the wagon's roof, slashing and thrusting at each other, dodging blows and lunging attacks. “Fine then, let's switch!” she exclaimed. In the blink of an eye Buddeldot was in the tack, where Trixie had been, drawing the wagon. The show-mare found herself facing a furious, sword swinging mare. She quickly grasped Buddeldot's scimmitar -which still hung in midair- with her magic and levitated it in the way of the incoming blows.

“Ahg, this is even more stupid!” she yelled, as was slowly pushed backwards under the hail of deadly steel. “This pony is trying to kill me!”

“Than stop yer whining and do something about it!” the captain snapped back at her. She found herself right next to the two stallions drawing the cart, two stallions she recognized. She wondered for a moment, that the looks they shot her didn't kill her outright. “I won those bits fair and square! No cheating involved! Stop insulting me honor, and suck it up yer lousy players!” she shouted at them. They snorted, steam coming from their nozzles, and rammed the seamare in the flank, trying to push her off the road; their cart hit the side of the wagon in the process.

The vehicle shock and swayed dangerously; both Trixie and her opponent lost their hoofing and struggled not to fall off. Ever quick-witted the Great and Powerful took the chance; she let go of the spell holding her weapon and gathered her magic for a more powerful one. The vigilante sprang back to her hooves and swung her blade in a high arc at the unicorn's head. But before she could part the show-mare hair, a bright magic aura surrounded the earth pony and and bound her movements. Trixie stood back on her hooves and laughed in triumph. “You never stood a chance against the amazing, ground shaking abilities of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” With a nod of her head, she flung the helpless pony into the pegasus still standing on the cart, throwing both of them form their vehicle. With a splash they hit a dung heap at the side of the road.

The show-pony looked back at their stinking fortune, smiling in glee. With these two taken care of, she jumped onto the drivers seat and took the reins in her magic grasp. She snapped them with a crack, whipping them over the seamare's back. “Enough with the pleasure strolling! This is a chase, put your back into it!” she yelled at her.

Buddeldot jumped as she was slapped, involuntarily quickening her pace; she pulled out half a wagon's lead, before she realized what was going on. She looked back over her shoulder and gave the unicorn a sultry smile. “Ar, so commanding! Yer making me all flustered. Didn't know ye had it in ye, lass.”

That reaction surprised the show-mare. She blushed and looked away bashfully. The sight made the captain chuckle. “Right then, time to wrap things up!” she exclaimed and burst into action.

Trixie found both reins and shaft thrown in her face, as Buddeldot jumped out of her constrains and onto the backs of the two stallions drawing the cart. The unicorn quickly grasped the shaft in her magic, frantically trying to control the wagon with it and keep it from crashing.

The two galloping ponies took a glance over their shoulders and spotted the mare standing with wide legs on their backs. Her face was shadowed by her head; only her mad eyes and her evil grin were visible. She lowered her head and leaned close to their ears. “I like to be on top,” she whispered.

The two stallions' eyes widened in terror. They bucked, trying to shake the tartarus mare off their backs, but it was too late. In the blink of an eye she had spun around and drawn out the bolt connecting the shaft to the cart with her teeth. The vehicle separated from the drawing ponies; it spun out of control, rolled, crashed into a tree, and lit up in a bright ball of flame.

The two ponies panicked and just dashed on in a headless gallop. Buddeldot took the opportunity and banged their heads together between her forehooves. Their eyes spun out of focus; they took a few more steps, before they stumbled over their hooves and fell to the ground. They rolled and finally came to a stop in an entangled heap.

The mare had jumped clear off their falling forms. With a few running leaps she closed the distance to the wagon and jumped up to Trixie on the driver's seat, settling right next to her. “Arr, nothing like a little fight to get the blood flowing, but I think we lost them for now.”

Trixie slowly turned her head, her eyes ablaze with barley contained fury. “You, you scoundrel! You obnoxious mad-pony! Your foolish escape plan almost got me killed!” she shouted right into the captains face.

Her anger just washed around the seamare like ocean waves around a rock. She laughed wholeheartedly and waved it off with a hoof. “Filly, ye crack me up! Ye always say the sweetest things!” she replied. Her careless attitude infuriated the unicorn even more, but Buddeldot stopped her, before she could do something she might regret. She put a hoof over the mares mouth and looked her in the eyes with a sudden seriousness.

“Now don't tell me ye didn't like it! I hate when ponies lie to me! Ye recognize that feeling ye got? The blood rushing in yer ears, yer heart beating like it's gonna burst, the feeling of power like ye could tore out trees and snap 'em in half? That's a battle high me hearty! I could hear ye laughing when ye threw that mare of the wagon, I can see it in yer eyes, I can taste it in yer smell! So tell me if ye have ever felt more alive. Tell me ye did nay like it, I dare ye!” She worked herself up to a frenetic speech, fire burning in her eyes; it gave the unicorn's fury a pause.

Trixie had to admit, she was feeling good, even great in fact. She never knew adventure could be this intoxicating. But when she found her mouth unobstructed again, she was not ready to let the matter drop. “Still. . .” she began, but was silenced by the seamare kissing her on the mouth.

Trixie was stunned at first, unsure what to do, when she felt the other mare's tongue flipping over her lips and intruding her mouth, but with a mental 'to hay with it' she threw her better reason over board and gave in into the kiss. The two mares embraced, hooves tracing over wet, shining backs, running through ruffled manes. Their kissing became deeper, more passionate; their tongues were darting back and forth, feinting, twisting, fighting for dominance.

A trail of saliva was connecting their lips when they finally separated. Trixie found her anger had disappeared, washed away by the hurricane that was Buddeldot. The unicorn could see her own reflection in the seamare's shining eyes; her face was flushed, her eyes only half open. She had the impression she could see a world beyond those blue portals; a world without rules, without borders, a world where everything was possible. Trixie found herself marveling at the other mares genuinely, warm smile.

“Let me tell ye what I like to do after a hard and bloody battle!” Buddeldot exclaimed. She leaned closer and whispered into the unicorn's twitching ear.

“Oh, oh my!” Trixie exclaimed as she heard the words. She found herself blushing even harder, a hotness on her face all the way to the tips of her ears.

The captain chuckled and jumped from the wagon; she stretched her legs and back, then turned back to the show-mare. “So, what do ye say? Just us two mares on a lonesome road; two traveling ponies who met by chance and will probably never see each other again. What do ye want to do?” Buddeldot said, sporting an adventurous smile.

The Great and Powerful Trixie knew exactly what she wanted to do; she jumped from the cart and flung her hat and cloak carelessly to the side.

Comments

[kajisora]

't be a delightfully whimsical tale indeed.
You sure that pony's talent isn't getting people angry? she seems quite adept at it ^^
liked and tracking

[Mobius of the Moon]

Oh hai der Sebaa! Long time no see!