THE ULTIMATE TAKEL AOF ALL

by The Moiderah Of Ponies

CHAPTERE ALL

this sis ym first storeee. i hopey ou lik eit okay. BUT THENLE SOMEON WILL FLAME ME EI DONT WANT FLAME BTECUES FLAME IS SCARY I DUNOT WANT TO FIRE.

THE ULTIMATE TAKEL AOFA LL
CHAPTERE ALL

it was mourning and all of ponivile was happey because it was day and celesta was day. until one day when a lite shone from ski and human came out and was mean. "GET OUT OF MY WAy STUPID PONIS." he sed, kiling flutershy because she was two nice. "nooo flutershy BOO" renbow desh was attack human but was push back because humanw as too strong and powerfuk.

oh no we have to tell celesta!" twilite sparkel sed, as she sent spike a leter. but spike was dead and could not leter. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"NOW YOU WILL PAY" sed the humanas he step on ponivile. but ponivile was protet by celesta who was using majik.'ponis RUN" she say and then she was ded because she usd two much magic but was able to rkill human.

and the day was save but notting was hapey because CELESTA WAS DED and luna was unhapy and so was everponi els.:="sisster is ded becus human kil her but she liv on." she sed. 'letus fight''

and so everyponi fite to protect equestra becuse

to be continud?

IMmediately

thye was stuper and things nad then they kiled more humans becuse humans were bad and kil and ponis kil human because poni were good. 'we cannot stop heer. we must fite" CELESTA sed befour she kil more human beacuase human were bad and moral was sthings.

then al human were die and poni wes victory but sum were ded like twilite spike rarity flutershy renbow nand things.

"nooo my students are ded' and celesta kiled self in despair and was not hapy then luna was rulyer of equalstra and then peole live happi- but not for long becuse more human arive and then she kile them and they were die and then peple were hapy.

'yaaaaaaaaay' sed derpy who was favorit poni because she was hapy and funy and not ofensive (FUKERS) band then hse kile more human and was good becus human was bad and yay and things. then she dinky and was liv forever as princes becus he was beter than lun a at ruling becus she was noraml poni and noraml poni no more than princess of living in world.

"I AM RULER" derpy sed and then ruled that mufins were more than god and the ponis swere hapey. adn muffins because world and world was now big and strong and fruty and things and stuff hapened and thenutopiea despite human invashon.

then more human came but they were kil quickly becuse derpy was ruler and beter than celesta becus she is awsum and things. and then renbow was there and fel in luv with derpy and they luv her and then live hapily ever after becus everyone was live and penies were hapy forever.

but then they were not hapy and then derpy help them becum hapy agin forrest of time inthe forest hat was equality and it was no longer equestra buet equality becuse derpy love equal and was hapy and then world collaps becus human use deth star and planet explod but not explod becus human did not want to kil all poni for slave but then derpy reform wrold and then world was save.

and wrold was save and everyone was live forever and then fore time and things were hapy

no thap yp a l l f dk d fd a f h e h we d o f iae hr po a rio e ra hi oa ei r he i oae r i oao te oi ah ERE RO R ER RR OR ER ROR ER RO R ER ROR ERO R E RROR ERROR-

SITUATION NORMAL. ALL FUCKED UP.

The projector that was showing off the abomination that was supposedly a "movie" actually caught fire and burned. Upon retrospect, maybe writing a terrible story where Celestia killed herself was a bad idea. Maybe if he, I don't know, wrote it well, it probably would have gotten famous, and would have ended up more than just a one-off joke by a sick, sadistic, and somewhat deranged author.

And even though the projector was now a pile of smoldering ash, the ponies that starred in the abomination couldn't help but stare at the screen for a good ten minutes.

Until one of them broke the silence. "You know what? Fuck this." Rainbow Dash threw a sword to the ground. She sighed heavily, turning to the author as she spoke. "Look. We can't do this. Speaking with a new, special kind of butchered Equine language is just...I dunno. I just can't do it."

"I can feel my brain cells dying with each passing second." Twilight followed suit, removing her costume as she trotted over to the blue pegasus. "I can't do it either."

Rarity was the next to go. "So...stupid. I can't believe how stupid it was!" She turned her head up, and walked out.

Fluttershy left without a word. Applejack kicked over the projector's ashes, growling as she left. Even Pinkie was displeased. The director knew this because she didn't even look at him while she left.

One-by-one the ponies in the cast left the studio, from Celestia, to Luna, to Lyra, to Bonbon. Even Derpy, who was given a starring role, was gone, leaving the stallion who called them there alone.

He sighed heavily. "Well, I better write something that's actually decent now. I can't just write a shitty piece of work like this!" He slammed his hoof on the ground, cracking a nice chunk of the tile. "Okay. That actually fucking hurt." He raised his damaged hoof, and tried to write again.He then gave up, and used his horn to grip the pen.

And so, the Moiderah got back to writing decent stories that somehow caught the attention of people.

Comments

[RYSKA]

Possibly one of the most heart-wrenching, tear-inducing, and hilarious story.

/joking

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

393723

i love my little penies.

[Refurbished Sandwich]

This made me laugh.
Congratulations

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

396891

Oh my fucking god what have I unleashed?

[Refurbished Sandwich]

396908 I don't even, man. I don't even...

[LightStriker]

I was alright with the text until I read :
"I'm not apologizing. This is a work of motherfucking art. Why would I apologize for this?"

Now I want to punch you in the face for that sentence.

Love and tolerance... love and tolerance...

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

396935

HEE HEE HAA HAA HOO HOO

AAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Yeah. Sorry about this whole thing. Though that last line was a joke]

[psycho pony guy]

this was the most awesome thing i read today. well done sir, i wait egerly for more work by you. enjoy this little picture of dash.

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

396983

WOOHOO. I GOT A DASH.

[Arcshod]

396957

Goddammit Cal

[Kromulus Regulus]

"John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went."

This reminds me of this story here.

I have therefore commenced laughter.

[Twystron500]

This was really funny! Keep up the good work. Oh, and have a Pinkie Pie

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

397354

NOW I HAVE A PINKIE, TOO. FUCK YEAH.

397162

That was the idea. I have succeeded...I just need several movies, a tvtropes page, and a dramatic reading.

...I am so doing a dramatic reading.

397145

I see that someone has told you about Homestuck?

[ArtyTheReader]

Loooooooooool good story.

[Kromulus Regulus]

398216 Dude, I did a dramatic reading over skype with a friend. No recording of course. I thought about doing it and uploading to my youtube, but I figured that'd be copyright problem since you might not like that. It's so funny when you read it. I had a gut busting time.

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

398762

What exactly is your definition of "Good?"

398817

Dude, I do dramatic readings of shitty fanfics, too. They're fun. If you want to put it on Youtube, go ahead!

[Kromulus Regulus]

398901 Thanks man! I'll do it later! :)

[ArtyTheReader]

398901 Well, good, in my definition, is a story that acomplishes the task that I percieve it was trying to complete. In your story's case, it attempted to provide humor through a lack of conventions and an incoherent story line. Establishing this, your story made me laugh, thereby achieving its goal and receiving a compliment of "good".

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

399006 Alright. Seems reasonable enough.

[HerrDoktah!]

Once again you never cease to both amaze and piss me off Moid. Have a Derpy.

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

404187

SWEET, BRO. I GOT A DERPY.

[Longshot]

29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldp3jukzHo1qb9a2wo1_500.png

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

426317

drunkweeaboo.com/img/reactions/FUCK%20YEAH.jpg

[BEARSHARK]

Is it weird that I loved every second of this?

[The Moiderah Of Ponies]

1097774

HA HA HA HA HA Yes. Yes it is. Get your head checked.

[strangephantasm]

EXCELLENT! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL, PREQUEL AND GRITTY REBOOT!

[SilverStarApple]

I'm going to piss off everybody here and cause them to take what shouldn't be taken seriously seriously, just by calling this what it is. Seriously.

This is bad. This is really, really bad. Not so bad it's good. Not so bad you can't look away. Not bad in a funny or interesting or new or unique way. Just bad. You and every other "Witty" and "Meta" author with fics like this aren't doing anything new or original with this story or saying anything that hasn't been said a thousand times before. This is an avant-garde piece in which you take a dump in a jug on-stage, in your mind. In reality, you're taking a dump in a jug outside the theatre. In your mind, this is art. In reality, you're just taking a dump where others can see, and while your friends might cheer you on, is this really what you want to be known for? Is this really want to do with your life? I'm alright with blatant shitposts, but could you at least try to say something new with the shitposts, rather than creating these artificial synthesized follow-the-leader cut-and-paste zero-creativity genuinely-shit shitposts?