• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen May 19th, 2015


Comments ( 22 )

0 comments. wow:applejackunsure:
Well I like your story but why was SS at :raritystarry: house?

4242688 I tried to fit the reason in, but couldn't with the 1000 word cap. If I manage to trim some excess word out, I'll do just that. For now, go with your own idea.


Thousand-word cap? :rainbowhuh:

I think you've misunderstood, love. 1,000 words isn't a maximum limit, it's a minimum limit; in other words, your story can't be less than a thousand words. There is no limit on stories or chapters being more than a thousand words long... and if this is a multi-chapter story, then you should really be aiming for two, or even three thousand per chapter.

4242952 I am currently experimenting with flash fiction short stories, which typically range from 300 to 1000 words. I'm aware there's no maximum limit to chapter length, and each chapter will be a self-contained story. Not all of them will be flash fictions. If any plot is broken into chapters, I will post it as a different story altogether.

So why did silver go to Raritys
as mix tape mare has said you can fit it in so could you edit it :pinkiehappy:

im deeply confused now:derpyderp2::derpytongue2:

but if you wanna trim it a bit try describing the plate a bit less

A little bit of present-tense/past-tense confusion, but overall a solid flash-fiction. I really liked Rarity's interactions, and the subtext in her sentence about children growing up was very well-handled.

4665172 Well thank you. I do need to work on grammer, no way I'll ever get hired making such amateur mistakes.

Rarity looks down on the small filly, her brow furrowed. She looks between Silver Spoon, and the broken plate as a miniature wages behind those glamorous, long-lashed eyes. A tongue licks those dainty lips thoughtfully.

I think you mean "a miniature war wages behind etc":twilightsheepish:

great story. simple, short, and sweet. I loved it.:raritywink:

wait a minute.. why the hell was this tagged "sex"? :twilightoops:

Oh and also Diamond was only mentioned. i hardly think she deserves a tag. and who was the OC?

honestly all I heard was Rarity and Silver talking and some mystery foals playing nearby.:facehoof:

5195754 sorry, I just wrote this whole thing out in one night, so it's not my best work. I should go over it again sometime and edit it. And my original plan was to write multiple one-shots of this story with some shipping material in the background, but Silver Spoon being too young to realize what's going on.

5196376 well tagging it "sex" when there is nothing even mentioned of an adult nature is a BIG mistake. It will turn off those who don't want to see that kinna material and they won't read and will disappoint the cloppers who do read it looking for sexual content.:twilightblush:

personally when i saw the DT and SS tag and sex, I expected a shipping and or clop of my OTP. I am not disappointed with what I got by any means. It just wasn't anything the tags suggested I should expect.:twilightsmile:

5196742 My apologies, I didn't mean to cause anyone disappointment. The tag has bee corrected.

5198297 well I loved the short story for what it was. I just didn't want you to loose potential readers over the sex tag. :raritywink:

5199479 here's to hoping that the next story is better received, and just all around better written. ^_^"

5200575 I didn't catch many errors. Like I said for a little slice of life story with Rarity and Silver it was wonderful. People ask "why was Silver at Rarity's at all?" but Silver mentioned that she and Dia were hosted by Rarity for a tea party to promote positive relations in the future (most likely with Sweetie Belle). I think Rarity as business pony recognizes how influential Diamond, Silver and their families are as customers while as a responsible big sister and surrogate parent (because :unsuresweetie: is overthere allot!) she recognizes that DT and SS have much in common with Sweetie and could be good friends if not just civil acquaintances.:raritystarry:

If Sweetie truly wants to follow in Rarity's hoof steps she will NEED the support and patronage of the upper and upper middle class of her own generation. If Diamond grows up with an axe to grind she could easily effect future business for the Boutique simply out of spite.:duck:

and then there is that old saying "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer!":raritywink:

also like I said it's a "slice of life" fic not a "random" story. There is nothing random or chaotic about it. It's a look into the life of Silver Spoon beyond the bully stigma of the show and I think it's beautiful.

I LOVE the interaction of Rarity with Silver over the broken china. I love how Silver expects disdain and Rarity can only express concern for Silver's safety. I think I will actually read it again.:twilightsmile:

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