It wasn't long after the lizard had set his letter on fire, which seemed counterproductive to me, that a pair of strangely identical white ponies wearing golden armour descended from above. Their faces were like stone; cold and unattractive. They were towing an ornately decorated golden chariot behind them. They stalled a bit at the sight of me, like the racist white ponies they were, but didn't start screaming or threatening me, which was a nice change.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle," said one of the ponies. "We have brought the transport you have requested. Are you ready for your audience with Princess Celestia?"
I put a hoof to my mouth and stifled a laugh. His voice was far too gruff to be real. It reminded me of that one character who's in every cartoon; the hulking, idiotic bodyguard who hangs around with the villain.
Twilight, whose full name was also quite ridiculous, gave me an odd look before addressing the armoured pony. "Yes, we are." She turned to her friends. "Hop in, girls, but be careful with Nightmare Moon. She could have more tricks up her sleeve."
Who was 'Nightmare Moon'? Were they talking about me? I admit, I did look a bit nightmarish, and had a crescent moon motif going on, but really, 'Nightmare Moon'? That sounded so evil.
"Come on! Move!" said the cyan pony, from somewhere behind me.
I realised that while I had been thinking about the name bestowed upon me, the ponies had been urging me into the chariot. And now the cyan one had her face shoved into my flank and was pushing me forward. I knew I was right about her. All those colours, the voice, the attitude and now this.
I started to walk forward into the chariot, where the other five ponies and the lizard were waiting. To my right, I saw a cyan and rainbow blur go flying past me. Once I was onboard the chariot, I expected them to close up the back or something. But nope, they literally just took off. And since I was near the back, I ended up on the ground, with my horn digging a hole in the dirt.
The cyan pony fell over laughing as the chariot slowed to a hover in mid-air. I was really starting to dislike her. The yellow one looked a little bit sympathetic, but everyone else was either laughing quietly or making an effort not to laugh. The pilots lowered the chariot back onto the ground. I climbed aboard again. This time, I stomped straight up to the front, my head low.
"Hey!" said the lizard, snatching his tail off the ground, tears forming in his eyes.
I didn't care. I was not going to fall out of this flying safety hazard again, and I didn't care whose tail I stepped on.
Once I was on the chariot again, I sat down heavily on my haunches, and the chariot took off once more.
"This seems unsafe," I said out loud.
"What does?" asked Twilight, an eyebrow raised and a suspicious tone in her voice.
"The chariot thing. There's no back at all. I already fell out, and was fine, but that was at ground level. What if the pilots accelerated too fast at a high altitude?" I asked.
Twilight slapped a hoof to her face. "The lack of a back makes it more lightweight, and therefore easier for the pilots to carry and steer. The pilots are trained in rescue maneuvers. We're not as thoughtless as you. We actually stop to think about consequences," she said.
It almost sounded like she was accusing me of something. But I didn't know her. At all. I shut up after that. We were high up in the sky, and I had no idea where we were going. I asked Twilight how long it would take and she said about an hour.
Now that I wasn't falling out of chariots, wandering through forests and causing mass panic attacks in towns full of racist ponies, I had a chance to think. Where was I? How did I get here? Why did I get here?
The obvious answer was that this was all a dream. But I quickly ruled that out. It felt too real, I had already hurt myself multiple times since arriving here, and I got here by falling. Weren't both of those occurrences meant to make you instantly wake up from a dream?
Next choice was a coma. But that made no sense. I wasn't doing anything before I woke up here that would send me into a coma, and again, this was way too lucid to be a dream in any way. What else could this be, though...?
"I've got it!" I shouted suddenly.
The ponies and lizard turned to look at me, with the oddest of expressions on their faces. "Got what?" asked the orange one.
I hadn't meant to say that out loud. Ah well.
"The cause of all this insanity," I said smugly.
"The only insane thing around here is you," said the cyan one.
"Hear, hear," muttered the white one.
"The puddle," I said. "When I fell in the puddle, some of it splashed up into my mouth. The delinquents hanging around near it must have dropped some of their 'stash' into it. Which I am now experiencing the effects of. Soon, this crazy high will end, and I'll be back in my room wondering whether or not I should call the police."
Satisfied with my explanation, I leaned back. There wasn't anything they could say to me now that could harm me.
"You really are crazy," said the cyan one.
"I'm not listening to you. You're probably just my lampshade or something."
The ponies exchanged glances. They clearly thought I was insane. But I didn't care, because they were just figments of my imagination.
"We're here," announced one of the pilots. I felt my ears pop as we descended into a city built into the side of a mountain. This was a very pretty drug high. I might actually be sad to see it wear off.
Nah.
Once we landed, the six ponies led me forward towards an impressive structure. Huge spires that looked straight out of a fairy tale spiked into the air. A large garden was off to the side, decorated with neatly cut trees in the shapes of ponies.
I didn't have much time to admire the view. I was herded into the castle quite forcefully, both by the six ponies I was growing to hate, and by guards wielding spears, who were creepily identical to the pilots of our chariot. We entered through a set of giant wooden doors into a wonderfully furnished hallway. Servant ponies were running back and forth carrying letters, cleaning supplies, and trays of food.
Most of those items were dropped when the servants saw me. Food spilled all over the ground and mingled with detergent. Some of the servants kept their cool, but still looked jittery.
"Nothing to see here," said Twilight awkwardly as we passed a couple of servants tending to one who had fainted.
Leaving the hallway behind, we came to another set of doors. Not quite as big as the main entrance but still big. But we didn't enter them. Instead, we veered off to the left, into another door. Another corridor, with even more servants, greeted us. We walked along the corridor, entering doors, climbing stairs and rounding corners for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, we came to two sets of distinguished looking doors, one decorated with emblems of suns, and the other with crescent moons that resembled my butt tattoo.
We entered the door decorated with the suns. The room it led to was spacious, but not huge. A desk sat at one end of the room, and a fireplace at the other. There was a large red cushion near the fireplace. An open door to my right led to a dark room with a massive plush bed. I wanted nothing more than to go and sleep on that bed. Maybe when I woke up the high would be gone.
From another door, to the left, I heard the sound of running water and humming. The guards who had been escorting us bowed and backed out of the room, closing the doors behind them.
"What now?" I asked.
"Wait. We can't interrupt Princess Celestia, but she'll be able to talk some sense into you. said Twilight. "Maybe," she added under her breath.
"Why? Is Snooty broken or something?" asked the hyperactive pink pony.
"No, Pinkie, I don't think so,” said the posh white pony.
"Maybe we should throw a party for Snooty to make her feel better?" suggested Pinkie, whose name suited her.
"I don't need a party. And stop calling me 'Snooty'. That's not my name," I said.
"Do you want me to call you Moony instead? I can do that! It sound nice!" said Pinkie, leaning forward.
"That isn't my name either."
"Do you want me to call you by your full name, 'Nightmare Moon'? Please say no, because that's really boring and scary-sounding," said Pinkie.
"None of your suggestions are my name," I said.
The ponies swapped puzzled glances. "Then what is?" asked the white one.
"It's Niamh," I said.
"We knew that already. Why are you saying it like we've been calling you something different this entire time?" asked Twilight, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh, because you have?" I said.
"No we haven't, silly Moony! You just told us your name was Nightmare Moon! Oh, but we knew that. I like the way you say it, all grand and booming, so that's a plus, but really, we already knew!" rambled Pinkie.
"But that's not what I said," I protested. "I said my name was Niamh."
This time I heard myself say it. For some unfathomable reason, when I said my name, my voice was warped. To say 'Nightmare Moon' instead.
"Uh, that's what ya said th' first time. And what we've been callin' ya the whole time," said the orange pony.
"But it makes no sense!" I yelled.
The six ponies were blown back as paper and other loose objects were whipped up by the wind my voice created. They rubbed their ears, and I heard the quiet one say 'Oh, my...'
"Oh! Uh, sorry?" I said.
Twilight just glared at me.
The running water stopped. I heard something hit tiles, and a bolt unlocking. The door, which probably led to a bathroom, swung open, to reveal a tall, dripping wet white pony. Her mane and tail were like mine, flowing in wind that didn't exist, except hers were striped in pastel shades of green, blue, and pink. Like me, she had both wings and a horn. Her butt tattoo was of a sun, like the one on the door. A lopsided crown was on her head, having clearly been put on in a hurry.
When she saw me, she somehow went even whiter.
"Luna?" she whispered.
"Uh..."
Her face screwed up, and made her look like a little kid who just dropped their ice cream and is about to start crying. Which, incidentally, is what she did. Tears spilled over her eyes and ran down her face. Was I really so unpleasant as to make her cry?
"Little sister, you are appreciated. There are astronomers, ponies who dedicate themselves to studying your night. You are loved by many. Won't you come back to me?" she pleaded.
The other ponies just looked between the pair of us sadly.
"What the heck are you talking about?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" said the tearful white pony, who I guessed was Princess Celestia. She was too grandiose, even dripping wet and crying in my face, to be anything else.
"I mean I'm confused. If this is what all drug highs are like, then I'm glad I've never done anything like this before, and probably won't again," I said.
There was a blue flash and a popping sound behind Princess Celestia. Everyone turned to look at it.
A sleepy looking dark blue pony, wearing a nightcap straight out of a cartoon and four fuzzy little bunny slippers, appeared out of absolutely nowhere. She looked a lot like me, except she was blue, and her mane was different.
"Sister," grumbled the blue pony. "What is all this shouting? I've asked you before to keep it down while I am sleeping."
"What the buck?" said the cyan pony. I really needed to learn their names.
"Luna?" said the princess, looking between me and the dark blue pony. I was really confused now. Was that Luna, or was I Luna? No, I was Nightmare Moon, apparently. But I'd also been called 'Luna' a few times now.
Luna(?) suddenly became alert when she saw me. "She-demon!" she yelled, charging at me. I gave a small screech as she pounced on me. "Who hast thou claimed now? Release thy host, or thou shalt have to answer to Us!" she roared in my face, blowing my mane everywhere and whipping up a wind, like I had done earlier.
"Ok, drug high or not, this whole thing is just getting ridiculous. What the *beep* is going on?" I asked out loud.
Everyone, including my blue assailant, turned their heads and swivelled their ears, looking for the source of the mysterious beep.
It turned out to be Pinkie, who was holding a red button in her hoof, with the words 'PROFANITY BUZZER' written in all caps.
"Silly Moony! This is an 'Everyone' rated story, remember?" she said, a huge grin on her face.
The other ponies decided to ignore her, and refocus themselves on me.
"We do not know what thou art playing at, demon, but thou will release thy host at once," screamed Luna.
"Will someone please explain what is going on?" I shouted, blowing Luna's starry mane back.
"Thy Royal Canterlot Voice is admirable, but we are the true Princess of the Night, and thou shalt adhere to our demands!" responded Luna, increasing her volume.
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" shouted a voice that made mine and Luna's voices sound like whispers.
It turned out to be Princess Celestia. "Now, Nightmare Moon, or whatever you're calling yourself now, come with me. Luna, you come with us. Twilight, you and your friends wait here, but stand by in case we need the Elements."
Celestia's horn glowed gold for a minute, and in a literal flash, I found myself alone with Luna and Celestia. We were in a darker room, with little star-like glowing dots on the wall.
"Now, care to explain what is going on here?"
Cliffhanger... .
Pinkie with the profanity buzzer, that was a reference to the I.T. Crowd.
LOL profanity buzzer, i was wondering how you would stop her swearing
Yay, the scene I anticipated happened! Though it could've been longer... in fact the whole chapter could've been longer. Still, I really can't complain since you're writing it at all. Also, I hope you don't plan to go overboard with the Pinkie-4th-wall thing. Once or twice in a story is okay, but once it becomes a plot device...
dos this song go's with this or is it just me
This is not how you write Pinkie Pie
I wonder if Niamh tries to write her name down if she won't be able to and will write Nightmare Moon instead.
Kinda sad really, because if her name had to be changed, couldn't it have been a nicer name?
4152374 researchismagic.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/mlp_hug2.gif
id be amazingly angry if something was preventing me from saying my name. id punch it in the throat.
I'm enjoying this story greatly keep it up and have fun
Sigh. Once again, I hate cliffhangers. Just wished more happened in this chapter.
Niamh falling out of the back was funny, and Luna in the nightcap and bunny slippers is adorable. PROFANITY BUZZER is fantastic, but I'd like to see some variations. Maybe dog barks for b****, and "EEFF!" for f***.
The bit about her name warping in her head is interesting. I look Niamh up and the name does not mean moon, which does away with my theory that names are translated into their meanings in Equestria (like my name would be "Famous Warrior").
Anyway, once again, eagerly awaiting the next one.
4152493 'Moon' in Irish is 'gealach'. So, not actually a name.
I want to see them use the elements but when they do they burn off half her face and maybe some other parts of here body. Showing that she is her own pony now. she falls to the floor crying in pain. Then something else happens. But love the story but hate cliffhangers but for this I think I can make an exception.
Some force is shoehorning Niamh into saying "Nightmare Moon" but isn't forcing her to act like Nightmare Moon?
If it forces her to write "Nightmare Moon" on a piece of paper but doesn't stop her from not being Nightmare Moon, then we're going to need one heck of an explanation.
magic blockers for Niamh name? foul play I say! it sound like an exotic pony name what wrong with human name's? I bet she can't tell them about it or write about the oddness not fair! the unfairness and punishment for something not her fault next chapter! and if pinkie make a comment like her life a story I hope she chews her out cause that mean she know what going on and just being meanie.
4152409 Ha ha I remember you! Still unnecessarily plot-hurt about brony curse words eh? You Faust-damned motherbucker, you. The hay is wrong with fandom colloquialisms and in-universe expletives?
4152409 I fail to see what is wrong with the first quote. Explain please.
4152597 I fail to see how buck is a swear word
4152589 All in a day's work
Loving this fic, keep up the good work!
I found it! Moony! Mad Eye Moony!
...maybe not. Doesn't really make any sense.
4152614 I fail to see how you failed to see that this is rated 'Everyone'. Considering that you quoted it.
4152725 Nope. I have never heard of that before.
4152731 Then why even bother to put in a swear when it's tagged "Everyone"
4152734 WHAT?! I can't read your stories if you've never read Harry Potter!
4152772 Oh noes!
4152743 Sorry, didn't realise I needed your approval before I wrote something. God forbid I write to please someone other than you.
Pinkie with a Zzzzzzz* profanity buzzer is awesome
4152725 My yes. Take all of it.
EDIT: Practice CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Trolls are on the loose if the recent reports are to be believed.
Mmm, well, I usually dislike the whole 'human wakes up as a pony' genre, but this has been okay so far.
When Luna says "She-demon".
Button Mash.
NOW GIVE ME MY HUG!!!!!
"She-demon!"- Luna
"She-devil."- Button
4152940 Nope, but that was a good guess, so you get a hug anyway. researchismagic.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/mlp_hug2.gif
Not cool outing RD like that, Niamh.
Nice chapter!
surprised 'moony' didnt mention the fact that luna was much smaller then her.
Ha I can just see it now, Niamh keeps making short jokes at Luna as a form of passive agressive revenge/fun
I can't wait for all the short jokes
Good story, with a new concept. Keep going, it is a great story.
This chapter was absolutely HILARIOUS!! Loved the part with Pinkie's profanity buzzer!
So the beeps were Pinkie´s doing all along!
torgues voice beeper?
I hope it takes a long time before she gets along with the ponies. :)
I'd have liked to see Celestia's face
Within this darkness,
remains only a spectre of someone sinless.
Where ever within this Nightmare
lurks the evil that forced night eternal...?
Awaiting
fisherfurther releases.Was the reference the lack of a backing to the chariot? Referencing all the times it was commented on about the lack of handrails in the Fallout: Equetria series?
Wow, this story is spiraling into the ridiculous zone faster than I expected. That bit with the name... "Okay, how to draw out as much conflict as I can from these interactions? *Snap!* I know! Some random, unexplained nonsense 'magic' that makes it so she can't say her real name!" I can't wait to see her try and spell it out.
Oh, and Twilight's explanation of why there was nothing on the back of the chariot? Complete bull. First, I doubt adding at least a single rod across the back would add too much weight to the thing. Second, if weight was an issue, why make the front of the chariot one solid piece? It's not high enough to divert wind from the face and body, adds unnecessary material to the thing while railings all around would be both lighter and cut down on air resistance. All in all, she basically claimed it was okay to make the thing inherently unsafe because the ones pulling it have been trained well, ignoring the fact that a smarter design could produce the same level of security without requiring pegasi to be trained at all.
And the Pinkie Pie buzzer; it needlessly removed me from the story and threw in my face the fact that these characters are works of fiction and has thus made them much more difficult to relate to. If Pinkie knows she isn't real, how can I feel any emotions she displays later on are genuine. Just because my mind knows this isn't real doesn't mean my heart doesn't still want to believe.
This is great. I am really enjoying this so far, please keep it up ^_^
This chapter was EPIC!!! I want to read so much more!
. I want to see a picture of this.
4152614 What.
You don't like buck being used in a Everyone story, but also say that buck isn't a swear word...
What do you want?
Back on topic:
LOOOOOOOOOL
4154058 it's a fanfic in a magical world were a pony raises the sun... You don't need the logic of chariot design. The name "spell" I believe., improves the story, it eliminates a cliché. And the buzzer is someone writing pinkie pie without leaving her in an obscure sideline.
4154969
My problem with the chariot scene is that the author, from what I can tell, tried to personally address an issue that has cropped up before in fimfics (I've seen the "Equestrian flying chariots are dumb" thing multiple times now) through using Twilight to pose her counter argument, but didn't come up with valid logic and thus made the scene suffer. Twilight just embodied that one really annoying guy we all know who arrogantly states something in a know-it-all, I'm-better-than-you sort of way while actually being completely wrong.
I have no idea what cliché you believe the name spell is eliminating. If anything, it is supporting a cliché by having a human in Equestria being put into a negative light because of some odd magic preventing them from properly communicating with the ponies. This is often done as a cheap way to create drama and tension within a story instead using good, solid writing. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I hate drama created from misunderstandings and poor decisions by the characters.
As for everyone's favorite party pony; Pinkie can be written without having her break the forth wall, especially by directly referring to media such as other shows, MLP, or the fanfiction itself. Pinkie Pie is whacky, zany, and fun, but she is not omniscient.
Oh, and the setting of any story does not excuse that story from making sense or having proper logic. It doesn't matter if it's a thousand years in the future, past, on a different planet, or a "magical world were a pony raises the sun", people are still people. I expect two things from good writing, the physics of a fictional world to be constant, (So the rules for how magic works in a piece should be consistent throughout), and the characters to behave in a believable way for them (Don't have characters constantly change in behavior or act out of character for how they were portrayed in the beginning unless there is a good reason through character growth and development).
Haiku of Compassion's Quest:
Poor child finds great strife
Her concatenated lives
Stormy horizon
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