Octavia's Dilemma

by LockHeart Key

Epilouge

Rarity had Noteworthy fit with a tuxedo in under a day. When the night of the ball arrived Rarity, Twilight, Flash Sentry, and Octavia were all waiting at the station. “I thought he'd be here,” Octavia worried.

Rarity chided, “I've already made him a suit so he'd better.”

Huffing, and out of breath Octavia spotted him across the station. She ran to meet him. “I wasn't sure if you would make it,” She admitted.

“Of course I am here, I just thought you needed one more thing.” He removed a tulip from his vest and placed it gingerly in her mane. “There, you are beautiful, let's go.” And happily, they went.

Comments

[nomotog]

There! I am finally finished. That ended up taking a long time. I found the style kind of hard to read. I didn’t find any grammar errors, so i can’t blame that. I think it might have been the lack of spacing between paragraphs?

The story was OK. Not bad, but not particularly engaging. From the title and the first chapter, I was expecting it to be a story about Octavia gutting up and admitting to rarity that she was gay and that vinyl was her girlfriend. (Why yes I do have a favorite ship.) That wasn’t the story though. It was about Octavia gutting up and asking out a stallion.

One nice thing you did was keep everypony in character. Not every fic can manage that.

Keep writing and you will get better at it.

[The Batmane of equestria]

That was brilliant except for the misspelling of Vinyl throughout. Aside from that, one of the best stories I've read so far