Fluttershy's Big Break

by Sloped Armoured Pony

St. Loshadburg

This night, Fluttershy seemed to have gotten a good nights rest. Even if she was uncomfortable, just her fatigue knocked her out cold to sleep a whole night. The train slowed down in what seemed like a thick smog. Unlike Las Caballitas, St. Loshadburg didn't welcome with sunshine, festivity, and golden reflections off of surfaces. No, this city welcomed with thick smoke, tall buildings belching emissions, and the sound of gunfire. One of the gunshots frightened Fluttershy right out of the caboose, causing her to fall onto the tracks. An officer on the platform scolded her and kicked her out of the station, leaving her to the jaws of the city. St. Loshadburg was not famous for hospitality, or low crime for that matter, but it was the most productive city in Equestria, and was where Princess Celestia's own Royal Armoured Guard was stationed. As Fluttershy looked through the streets, she found the city to be surrounded by a massive wall, fitted with battlements every 20 metres, each armed with a 70mm AA cannon. This was the belly of a fortress, a place for any pony with a personality completely opposite that of Fluttershy, but still a stop she needed to see.

Tonight was a march through the city by the tanks, so the railways were closed for the night. Fluttershy set off to find her hotel, which was through a dodgy street. Here, five-star hotels were less valuable than one-star hotels in Ponyville. Lucky for you readers, the most major crime in Equestria was murder. Prostitution wasn't heard of, and most respected each other that way. There were no strange looking ponies through the street as Fluttershy made her way to the hotel doors to check in. As she entered the hotel, a cranky-looking pony held the desk. He didn't say a word while checking Fluttershy in; just swiped the tickets and gave her the keys to her room. Three keys were given for the three locks each door had to really vamp the security. After almost five minutes of lock opening, Fluttershy stepped inside, laid her luggage down, and returned outside to explore.

The streets were horrible. Ponies thinner than paperclips sat on the urinated brick, begging for food and money, while other ponies skulked up and down looking for others to harass. The climate here was also different. St. Loshadburg is located in the northeast portion of Equestria, as opposed to Ponyville being near the middle. There was also a beach here, but the banks were all harbour walls, and the water was filled with sewage. Most of the city was a dump, but Fluttershy came to visit one particular place of interest: Celestia's military command palace, or the Crimson Palace, in midtown. Crimson Palace was located in a walled junction called Crimson Square, and was where a pony could find the barracks, place of governance, and perhaps the cleanest streets in the city. The whole Crimson Square crawled with skulking soldiers, attacking any pony who seemed suspicious with a shouting match, and then continuing their business. They were scary. The guns they carried were powerful enough to pierce dragon skin at almost 300 rounds per minute. Despite all these residents, it were the tourists who had to worry more. The residents did not take kindly towards Westerners, and usually targeted them first, whether it was to pick pocket, murder, or arrest. Fluttershy nearly passed out when a soldier attacked her with a criticism.

"Kadet!" he yelled with an eastern accent. "You are out of rank and uniform! Leave immediately to the barracks, get your uniform on, and report back to drop and give me a hundred pushups!"

"Um, but, sir?" asked Fluttershy, "I am a tourist, not a soldier."

"Listen here d'yavol loshad', anyone who is here in my Crimson Square is a member of of the Royal Army, especially zapadnykh zadnits like you! Now, I gave you a direct order to get your uniform on!" ordered the guard.

Fluttershy hesitated. She was already tormented by every idiot she could possible meet, but she was not at all ready to join the army.

She scolded, "Now, listen here 'sir!' I am a tourist who has come on a vacation issued by the Princess herself, so I don't want to cause any trouble here. 'No' means 'no'!"

But what seemed like successful intimidation was vocalization that only made the soldier angry. "Who do I look like, a fool? Get your ass in your uniform and assume rank! Or you will be shot on spot!" he yelled loud enough to topple a chair in the food court.

Fluttershy fled into the barracks to put on her 'uniform,' which she could not find anywhere. She wasn't a registered militant, so there was no uniform issued to her for her to put on. One of the troops seemed sick in his bunks, so she 'borrowed' his uniform and rushed out.

"I *pant* got my uniform on," announced the confused pegasis.

"You really want to have a few holes in your liver? I know which uniform belongs to which pony, because I am not the idiot who would steal another pony's uniform, especially if it had his name on the front of it!" scolded the sergeant. Fluttershy saw the name tag with embarrassment and asked how to get a uniform. "You don't get a uniform today then. That's sad, judging by today's training exercises!" Fluttershy only uttered a gulp.

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"Line up cowards! New recruits, this is going to be your easiest exercise, so make it last!" yelled the drill instructor. at first, Fluttershy was relieved about the fact that it was the easiest, until she saw the course.

"Your first task will be to walk over the superheat iron bar which is precariously balanced over a pit of hungry tigers. Then, you will march through the road where there will be swinging saws, twenty firing tanks, hot coals, and other comical obstacles, which will then lead you to the most painful exercise! You will enter a dark room, and watch Jussen Smeiser's music video, while standing!" described the drill instructor. All the cadets fled, leaving Fluttershy to be picked first. "Looks like you are up first!"

At first, Fluttershy thought that she could tame the tigers on her way over the pit, who could then turn of the machinery that operated the tanks, saws, and television, until the instructor ordered that all of this had to be done while carrying him and playing a violin.

"Ok, now I know you are just being mean!" accused Fluttershy.

"I am not being mean! I am a drill instructor! Now march! Oh, and can you play me 'Kalianka' while you are marching?" instructed the instructor. Fluttershy reluctantly started playing and tip-toed over the burning iron. There was no way to cure the tigers while playing a violin, so she lost her tail on her way out. The saw-path was worse. The saws chopped off her mane, and the tank shells left scorch marks everywhere where they missed. There was also a random flame thrower, which singed off all of her fur. The music video took a heavy toll, as the song conflicted with her playing the violin and left scarring evidence of stallion sex-change. Fluttershy lost her hair, body fur, and her dignity, but was still eager to hear her results.

"You failed! Did it ever occur to you to use your resources. While crossing the tiger pit, you could, oh I don't know, fly? And could you have walked around the saw pit? And could you have axed the television with this axe I conveniently had in my pocket? So, you fail!" scolded the instructor.

"So, um, may I be dismissed, I mean, if you don't mind?" asked Fluttershy.

"Of course I mind!" angered the sergeant, "now drop and give me a hundred!"

As exercises continued with Fluttershy suffering all the drills, and the cowardly cadets spectating and drinking vodka, an alarm sounded. No one moved.

"What are you doing?" asked the sergeant. "Get your asses to your ranks! Get your guns! Get your helmets! This is not a drill! We are in action!"

"Um, *gulp*, action?" whimpered Fluttershy. The sergeant through a uniform and a twenty kilogram gun on her. Though it hurt a lot, she picked up her items and assumed rank. The sergeant walked to give certain orders about military placement to each cadet. Fluttershy prayed that she would be assigned as a janitor.

"Comrade Fluttershy," announced the sergeant, "You are assigned duty as Lone Frontline Reconnaissance Unit!"

"But this is my first twelve minutes in the army. I can't possibly, um, what do Lone Frontline Reconnaissance Units do?" asked the frightened pony.

"There is an honorable description, but let's be honest. The LFRU is the one who reveals the enemy by humiliatingly getting shot while unaware, usually at most three minutes after deployment, and Celestia forbid what Llamas do!" explained the sergeant.

"What do Llamas do?" asked Fluttershy while sweating enough to fill another soldier's canteen.

"They don't kill. They capture for their sacrificial rituals! It usually involves rolling a huge stone on you just enough to squeeze your guts out of your ass while keeping you alive," explained the sergeant. Fluttershy, out of fear, sat on her seat in the transport and promptly pulled out a pacifier to suck on.

"So, why are we fighting Llamas?" asked Fluttershy.

"It all began when the Llamas became curious about their existence. They were settled in a nice and tropical land with little troubles. The water ran clean, and food was plentiful. However, one day, a huge famine engulfed the whole Llaman populous. Millions suffered and died, and they spent years trying to understand what went wrong. They tried watering their crops, but it was fruitless, no pun intended. They replaced the soil, but still no food. It was until they realized that the gods who created their world did it out of great sacrifice, so the gods needed compensation. So what did the Llamas do? They began to sacrifice their enemies. The food came back, and the Llamas were happy again, until they ran out of captives. So, they need to start a war on anyone they meet just to accumulate enough captives to feed their rivers and farms. They warred with anyone they could find, and now, Equestria. Now do you see?" explained the sergeant.

A fellow soldier in another seat, however, commented, "Don't listen to him. Ol' Monty lost a bet to the sergeant, and he didn't pay the fee, so the sergeant is going to attack him by, apparently, getting attacked first. Weird huh?"