• Published 11th Feb 2014
  • 9,514 Views, 440 Comments

Not having ANY of this S### - Technopathic



Katherine Bosley is a cynical young college student who couldn't care less what others think of her. But she isn't going to have any of it when she's suddenly marked as a bad guy by the citizens of Equestria. She's through taking

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Chapter 8- Things Go Down

I woke up the next afternoon, desperately in need of coffee that I didn’t have. Reluctantly, I threw off the warm, cozy covers and stumbled around in the dark. I ran into the walls a few times before I remembered I could sense the shadows around me. Feeling like an idiot, I turned on a lantern, grabbed a few snacks out of the fridge, and shut the light off before leaving my sanctuary. I had to conserve lantern oil, after all.

I made my way to the mouth of the cave, and stepped out into the waning daylight. The sun was setting, and I didn’t feel like going to the castle yet. Best to wait until nightfall. Still half asleep, I sat down and munched on a slice of cake and a doughnut. Hopefully the sugar rush would kick start my brain.

After finishing the food, I felt significantly more alert. Bored, I decided to strike up a conversation. “So, Nocturne, are you ready to play Mission Impossible?”

We don’t understand. It’s improbable, yes, but why on our right minds would we try anything impossible?

I facepalmed. “I…just… Nevermind…” I said, exasperated. Should have known cultural references wouldn’t be understood.

I decided to change the subject. “Hey, why do you say ‘We’ instead of ‘I’? Is it ‘cuz you’re old, or are you some sort of brain-melded legion or whatever?”

This is the way we have always spoken. Nocturne replied.

“…Right. Option A. Got it.”

We made small talk like that until nightfall. It was then that I stood up, dusting off the seat of my pants (note to self: wash pants). I felt invigorated as I stepped into the night sky. Perhaps it was a side effect of being bonded with Nocturne; maybe I was more nocturnal now. Then again, I was a college age teenager… Strange sleep patterns sorta come with the territory.

With that, I made my way to the castle, steeling myself for the most difficult attempt to stay out of sight I’d ever faced.

~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not even going to mention the trip into the castle. I went in there expecting the sort of security systems you’d see in a spy movie, complete with death lasers, security cameras, and robot dogs. All I got were a bunch of dumb, half-asleep guards, who barely noticed the gnats flying around their heads, much less me shadow walking past. It was so mind-numbingly easy, I almost felt cheated, until Nocturne reminded me that it was a good thing we didn’t run into much resistance on the way in. That I should keep my guard up in case this was just a way to lure me into a false sense of security. This might still be a trap, after all...

After some wandering, I found the defense section mentioned in the note. Slipping in through the open doorway, I glanced around the room.

It was noticeably smaller that the last library I’d been in. The bookshelves came up to about my height, maybe a little shorter, and the room was only about as big as Twilight’s library.

I glanced over the shelves and the titles of the books. There were dozens of books detailing defensive measures against all kinds of enemies. I quickly spotted one book whose title referred to shadow ponies. I eagerly pulled out the book and glanced at the cover. A Comprehensive Guide to Shadow Ponies by Yasahiro. Huh. Strange name. Maybe it’s an alias. I gave the shelves a once-over before concluding that there was probably nothing else of interest. I cracked open the book and began flipping through the pages.

I grew more concerned the more I read. Biology, movement patterns, powers, origins…Even that light spell and tracking spell you mentioned! Geez, this book has everything!

Take the book. Everything but the tracking spell must be destroyed. Nocturne said anxiously. I understood why he’d want to destroy it but… Maybe it was my human thirst for knowledge, but that seemed kind of a shameful waste. Besides it could still prove useful. So I did the next best thing.

I gripped the cover in one hand and the pages in the other and pulled them away from each other as hard as I could. I was rewarded by a satisfying rip as the pages tore away from the covers.

~~~~

Elsewhere, Twilight woke up in a cold sweat, screaming something about the desecration of ancient texts. Spike covered his ears with his pillow, just wishing she’d be quiet so he could go back to sleep.

~~~~

I stashed the pages, which still had a little glue and clung together, away in my shadow to retrieve and read later. I glanced over the books once more, taking care to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I repeated the process with another book that caught my fancy, titled Interdimensional Travel and You by Divine Path and Zman. I took care to replace each cover back in the shelf in such a way that it no one would be able to tell what I’d done at first glance.

After that, I wandered around the room, until something shiny caught my interest. I glanced over and noticed a small, open display case with some decorative glass on it hanging on the wall. It was filled with dozens of jewelry and fancy trinkets, but my eyes gravitated towards one object in particular: a necklace. It had a light blue, iridescent sun encased in glass that seemed to glow ever so slightly. It was almost a perfect match for the pendant of my own necklace.

I reached out and took the sun pendant out of the case, turning it over in my hands, clutching at my moon pendant, which grew warm in my palm. Yep, it was definitely made of the same material as my moon pendant. This seemed to be of great significance to me for no reason in particular. I couldn’t leave it here. Draping the necklace around my neck and feeling strangely satisfied, I glanced over the rest of the trinkets.

One other object caught my eye: a simple soapstone. Don’t ask me how I knew it was soapstone; I took a lot of different courses in my first semester of college and I’ll leave it at that. And I say ‘simple,’ because all of the other junk in the case were shiny trinkets or fancy baubles, so it looked a bit out of place. I reached out and grabbed it to get a closer look.

As soon as my fingers brushed the cool surface of the stone, a voice called out in my mind. “I am Solaire of Astora! Adherent to the Lord of Sunlight! Those who walk in the path of danger may call upon me! Through the will of the sun I shall protect all who need it!”

I didn’t have time to ponder the significance of this. “Halt, creature!” a voice called out from behind me.

Shit! I thought. Stashing the soapstone away in my shadow, I whirled around. Standing in the doorway was a guard and his buddy, pointing their spears at me and putting on their best angry faces. They jumped upon seeing my face, but quickly regained composure.

“By the authority of the princess, I order you to come with us!” Generic Guard #1 jabbed the air with his spear for emphasis.
My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, both mine and Nocturne’s, as we both strained to come up with a way out of this. My path was cut off, I wasn’t sure how to

Nocturne reacted first, calling up shadows around me, waving about like a bunch of tentacles. The guards tensed, prepared to defend themselves. Just as Nocturne was about to attack, I cut him (I’m going with ‘him’ as his pronoun now) off. No, don’t attack just yet. Let me try something first. Reluctantly, he complied, and the shadows receded.

I only had a vague idea of what to do. I needed to get them to move somehow…

So, naturally, I opened up my big fat mouth and started talking.

“Aw, come on, that’s it? No ‘What are you doing here?’ or ‘You’re under arrest for blah blah blah [insert crime here]’ or even the word ‘please’? Oh no, you’re on a room looking scary! To jail with you!” I said in a condescending, mocking tone. I could be very mean when I wanted to. I flashed a smile, rolling my eyes. “At the very least you have to read me my Miranda rights before arresting me. It’s the law, idiots.”

They looked at each other, surprised, perhaps at the fact I could talk, or perhaps at what I said. Then they glared back at me. I kept talking.

“Of course, it doesn’t surprise me that you’re utterly incompetent. Really, if you were any good at your jobs you would have noticed me before I got this far!” I smirked, crossing my arms and shaking my head. “What makes it even worse is that you actually seem to be trying to do a decent job. Really, you should just give up. You’ll do everyone involved a huge favor. You’re just embarrassing yourselves at this point.”

They growled at me and advanced menacingly. I watched as they stepped closer to me, and further away from the door.

What kind of plan is this? You’re just going to provoke them into attacking! Nocturne said. Just let us attack! They’ll hurt us. We must knock them out at the least.

Getting them to attack first is kind of the point. I replied. Get ready to help me dodge to the side. I could feel his frustration at this.

“Just come with us. Don’t give us any trouble or we will use force,” said Guard #2.

“Oh how cute. The little babies are gonna try to fight me if I give them any twouble” I sneered, narrowing my eyes. “What are you gonna do if I don’t, huh? Gonna run home crying to your mommies? As if those bitches could do anything. They’re each dumber that both of you combined!”

Oh yes, I went there. I played the “Yo mama” card.

And it worked.

‘No one talks about my mother that way!” they both cried at once. They charged at me, brandishing their weapons. I leapt to the left, Nocturne using the shadows to stabilize my movements, and made a mad dash for the door. I heard a loud crash and some shattered glass behind me, but didn’t stop to look back. I wasn’t going to lose my head start just to see a couple of stallions crashed into a bunch of display cases. That’d be stupid.

I dashed through the halls as fast as my legs could carry me. It didn’t do me much good, though. Within minutes, I heard the clop of hooves hitting the stone floor. They were a good distance away, but gaining fast. Angry voices yelled at me to halt.

Great plan, Abyss. Nocturne deadpanned. They’re still on our tail! If you had just let us knock those ponies out, the two of us would not be in this mess!

I ignored him, and the hoofsteps drew closer. I redoubled my speed. Chases. I thought bitterly. Always with the chases. First the panther, now this. God, I hope I don’t get my leg torn open this time.

Stop this aimless running! The two of us are getting nowhere and if we run into more guards we’re both DEAD! Nocturne yelled frantically. He was terrified and very, very angry and I could feel his emotions becoming muddled with mine. Unfortunately, his emotions didn’t make for very rational decisions.

“Oh, if you’re so smart, you got any BETTER ideas?” I screamed at him aloud.

As a matter of fact, I DO! I could handle this situation FAR better than YOU ever could! He screamed, anger boiling over.

My jaw clenched and I became very, very quiet. That tends to happen when I get REALLY angry: I just seem calm. Inside I’m seething, but on the outside I appear more or less calm. “Fine,” I seethed, my voice soft, yet cold as ice. “Show me.

And then I stopped dead in my tracks, unmoving. Nocturne froze. Wait, what are you doing?

I could hear the guards gaining on us. By my estimate, they would be on us in less than thirty seconds. “You said you could handle it,” I replied coldly.

Wait, no, that’s not what we- Damn it, this is not the time to try and prove a point! Keep running!

They were much closer now. I could feel Nocturne’s panic rising with every second, seeping into my own emotions. A sense of dread and horror crept up my spine like ice. I wanted to flee, run as fast as I could, but I stood my ground, folding my arms across my chest. “I’m waiting. We haven’t got forever.” I replied.

Less than five seconds left. A sense of doom washed over us. We- you- I… Nocturne wrestled with hesitation. Then…

“I REFUSE TO DIE LIKE THIS!” Nocturne exclaimed in a burst of willpower.

In that moment of desperation, fury, and determination is when Nocturne wrenched the controls away from me. And I just sat back and let him.

Not being in control of your own body is a very strange feeling, to say the least. It’s almost, but not exactly like being in a ride. It’s frightening yet kinda cool at the same time. I was left to ponder this while Nocturne took the reins. I figured my body was in good hands; he did know how to use the shadow magic far better than I did.

Boy, was I right about that.

The moment he wrenched control, the shadows burst from the walls, reacting to Nocturne’s will to survive. Quick as a flash, he spun around glaring at the two guards, who stopped dead in their tracks with a look on their faces that said “Oh, shit, we’re gonna die now.”

The shadows in front of the guards freaking exploded, blocking their path and creating a critical moment of confusion. A moment that Nocturne used very efficiently. Using a violent shove from the shadows below for propulsion, he rocketed straight for the guards at speeds I didn’t even know I was capable of. And I had lived in my body for over eighteen years. I had NEVER gone that fast.

Growling viciously Nocturne leapt into the air, ready to pounce on them. The guards panicked, doing that whinnying motion horses do with their front legs on TV. They raised their spears, right in Noctune’s path as he fell. Oh God, he’s gonna get me impaled. I thought in horror.

Nocturne knew what he was doing, however. Using the shadows, he jerked himself to the right, just before a very sudden introduction between my chest and the business end of the spears. Just before reaching the floor, he twisted in the air and was pulled to the left by another shadow.

Things seemed to slow down after that moment. As he tore past the guards like a bat out of hell, mere centimeters away from the floor, he reached out and sunk his fingers into the shadows of the guards. I could feel him wearing a grim smile. As he was pulled past by a shadow, the shadows in his grip ripped away from the feet of the stallions. They screamed like little girls as their shadows were separated from them, and Nocturne zipped past. The whole process took only a second.

Nocturne landed against the other wall, using the shadows to cushion the impact before returning them to their usual states. He looked down at his hands, my hands, at the shadows he held. They looked like sheets of paper, hanging limply from my palms. He flicked my head a little, and the shadows curled up into little spheres.

Everything seemed to snap back into place, and I suddenly found myself in control again, holding two small shadow-balls in my hand. I stood there, dazed for a moment, before shaking it off and focusing on reality.

I glanced over at the guards, who were frozen in place. Their eyes were glazed over, unblinking, and their mouths hung ever so slightly agape. They looked, for all intents and purposes, possessed. They certainly didn’t look like they were going to move anytime soon.

Realizing more guards might have heard the commotion and might be coming, I hid in the nearest shadow. Strangely, I could still feel the presence of the two balls of shadow even within the safety of the shade. I took a breather, trying to collect my thoughts.

You can be a real asshole, you know that? Nocturne said finally. While it was good he was at least on speaking terms with me, the fact still stood that he was seriously pissed at me for what I did back there.

I was holding you to your word. You said you’d cover for me, didn’t you? I was simply putting my trust in your abilities.

That does NOT necessitate letting them catch you! Nocturne screeched.

I flinched. He had a point. I sighed. Okay, yeah. I was being an idiot. I’m sorry. I admitted.

Nocturne was silent.

If it’s any consolation, you WERE pretty badass back there. I offered.

That seemed to soften him up a little. I suppose…

I glanced over at the guards, who hadn’t moved an inch since I last looked at them. What the heck did you do to them? I asked.

They’re under the effects of overshadowing. Nocturne explained. They will not act so long as you hold their spheres of influence. Unfortunately, you must touch the shadow yourself and stay close by for it to work.

“The hell is that supposed to-” I stopped short when I noticed the guards whirl around in unison and mimic the facial expression that would have been on my face had I been out of the shade. I paused, then exerted the willpower I would normally use when shaking my head. In response, the guards shook their heads side to side.

There was another pause.

Nocturne? Is this… Mind control, by any chance?” I asked cautiously.

In a sense. Why? Nocturne replied.

…Holy shit! The book in Twilight’s library was right. No wonder this was considered dark magic. This just screamed "evil superpowers."

Then the gears in my head started to turn. I could use this to my advantage, I realized. I could use this to get out of here safely, none the wiser. This could work.

Checking around to make sure no one was coming, I slid over to where the shadow of one of the guardsponies would be, taking great care not to look up, and released the orb of the other’s shadow. The shadow snapped back into place, and the guard’s consciousness with it. He gazed around, confused, before realization hit him.

“Ponyfeathers!” He cried. “That creature trespassing in the castle got away! It must have done something to stun us while it made a break for it!”

I willed myself to make an angry face, hoping the guard under my control would do the same. To my relief, he did.

“Who knows what it might do? I’ve got it: I’ll go run and warn the other guards. You run and tell the princess.” The other guard declared, pointing back the way we came. “You remember where, right, rookie? Down the hall and to the left, first door on the right.” I froze. Going to the ultra powerful princesses was the last thing I wanted to do. I paused. Then again, I didn’t have to talk to them directly, did I? No…this might just give me just what I needed for some low-risk diplomacy…

The other guard looked at the guard under my control with concern. “Hey, you’ve been acting a little funny. Are you okay?” With some effort, I managed to make the guardspony nod in response.

This seemed to satisfy the other guard. “Okay. Just don’t overexert yourself. Take a breather if you need to.” And with that, he trotted off. With a little experimentation, I got the guard to break into a trot, following the directions the other guard had given me.

After a little more experimentation when no one was looking, I discovered this new power was extremely limited, as it only worked from a certain distance away. Imagine a sort of rubber band connecting a pony to their shadow. Sure, after you rip it away you can "stretch" the bond farther, BUT you can only stretch it so far. Useful to know, I suppose, at least this power has limits. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, after all.

After a while, I puppeted the guard into the throne room. I took care to hide myself in a shadow just outside of the room. There was no way I was going to let myself get spotted at this point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Luna’s POV, Canterlot Castle throne room.)

Luna was on her throne, handling the night shift as usual. As her sister took the throne during the day, the land was hers to handle during the night. Hers to guard.

This is why it was her duty to address the guard who trotted in, looking rather dazed, yet full of purpose.
“Guard, what purpose do you have here?” Luna had been practicing the more modern speech practices, and she fancied herself rather adept at it now. “Is there something wrong?”

The guard stared blankly, unresponsive.

Luna tried to get him to speak again, this time raising her voice a little louder. “Please, state your business here.” She noted with concern that he appeared to lack his shadow, a most disturbing revelation.

Suddenly the guard spoke, his voice… strangely feminine. “–turne, how do I- Oh. Okay then.” He blinked, glancing around in confusion. “Wo-hoah, that is trippy. I think I’m seeing things from his point of view. Weird. But kinda cool too, I guess.”

Luna looked at the spectacle in confusion. “What is the meaning of this nonsense?”

The guardspony stared at her and blinked. “Oh, so you must be Luna. Hi. Kinda though I might meet Little Miss Sunshine, but whatever.” He shrugged. “Well, let me introduce myself. Maybe you’ve heard of me, or maybe not. I don’t know how much your sister tells you.” He smiled brightly. “You can call me Abyss.”

Luna’s face scrunched up. “I was told that Abyss is female, and stands on her hind legs. She is most certainly not a pony.”
The guard looked pleased. “Oh, so you know about me, then! Good, good! That makes things slightly easier.” The guard looked himself over. “And, yes, you’re right, but what you see before you isn’t really me. It’s kinda a long story, but it starts with an attack and me being stupid, and ended up with mind controlling a pair of guardsponies…”

Luna looked at the guard in horror. She lowered her horn, gathering power until it emanated a soft glow. She was ready to take action if need be. The other guardsponies in the room took their cue, brandishing their various weapons. “If you plan to harm any of my little ponies, Abyss, I will-”

The guard, unfettered by this, lifted a hoof, cutting her short. "Relax, sweetie. I don't plan to kill your little guard. My... associate, however, is not as... forgiving of transgressions at the hands of ponies from long ago.”

Luna’s horn stopped glowing, but kept vigil. She watched carefully as the guard shrugged. “I don't blame him, though. What Nocturne went through is downright horrible. Nocturne, however, is willing to let me play the diplomat." The guard smiled, a sickly, almost taunting grin. "Aren't you a lucky one?"

The guard trotted to the side and gazed absentmindedly at a tapestry hanging on the wall. "I apologize for the rather... unorthodox method of contacting you, but I see no other way of contacting you without a rather extensive swapping of letters, which would be a pain in the ass, or seeing you in person, which I have no intention of doing."

The guard pony's eyes narrowed, glancing sideways at Luna. "I've heard the kind of physics-screwing powers you princesses have, so I'm sure you understand why I don't want to meet you face-to-muzzle."
Luna's eyes narrowed. "So you are a coward who hides behind others," she remarked.

That prompted a laugh. "No; I simply know my limits, and take precautions accordingly. See, I got my ass handed to me by the last alicorn I came across. I highly doubt I could come out on top if we were to fight, and I don't particularly want that situation to arise. So I stay away from you."

Luna had to admit, this creature did appear to have a decent head on its shoulders. There was no sense beating around the bush, so she decided to be direct. “What is it you have come here for, Abyss?”

The guard smiled. “Now we’re getting to the meat of things!” He blinked, “Err, pardon the expression. Not used to a non-omnivorous society.”

The guard stood up straight and looked her dead in the eyes. “You see, I really just came here to talk. State my intentions, if you will. I’m gonna call myself a…” the guard looked up at the ceiling and waved his hoof in a circle, trying to find the right word. “…representative of sorts. For two groups of sentient beings in particular. One of which being my species, though I highly doubt you’ll encounter another of my kind. Which is good for you; humans can be crazy. Sometimes good crazy, sometimes really bad crazy.” He rolled his eyes at that last statement with a grimace.

“And what, pray tell, is this other group you claim to represent?” Luna asked warily.

“Ah, that would be the Shadowborn.” He said matter-of-factly. “See, Shadow ponies weren’t one sentient organism, they were two: ponies and Shadowborn. Shadowborn live in the shadows and may form either a parasitic or symbiotic bond with another organism, in order to survive in sunlight. Relatively passive creatures; they were content to live out their days in the shadows at first. Five hundred years ago they were dying out, and accidentally formed bonds with ponies in an effort to save themselves. The parasitic kind, where they controlled their hosts. Fast forward to the present, and I am the first to achieve a bond of the symbiotic variety. At least, that I know of.” He blinked in realization. “Sorry, I tend to prattle.”

Luna was interested. “And why did these creatures not simply try to speak with the ponies? Surely, if it were not their intention to possess ponies…”

“That’s the thing, your highness: they couldn’t. They can only speak through or to a host, or to each other. So I am the Lorax, I speak for these… creatures once known as the shadow ponies. Or something. Dr Seuss. Anyways…”

The guardspony cocked his head to the side. “My terms are simple: you and your ponies leave me and mine alone, and you have my word I won’t kill, torture, or maim any of your precious ponies. In fact, I really don't want anything to do with them, which makes my part of the deal rather redundant, but I'm sure the promise will have some calming effect on your worries for your people. TL;DR, we'll mutually ignore each other's existence.” The guard pony grinned. “Do we have a deal?”

Luna thought this over. “T’would be more encouraging if I were to make such an agreement, as you say, face to muzzle. If you would come out of hiding and release your hold on this guard, I would be most willing to cooperate. I must ensure the safety of my ponies above all else.”

The guardspony smiled a little sadly. "I hope you’ll forgive me if I say I don’t exactly trust you, given what happened to the Shadowborn in the end. Granted, it may have been a small faction or some bumbling village idiots, but you WERE in the seat of power at the time… Oh, wait, that was your sister, wasn’t it? You were in the moon at that time." The guardspony chuckled. “My bad. Ah, well; the mistrust still stands.”

“How perplexing this impasse is. Granted, I’m true to my word, as I have little else but my word, but you have no way of knowing that. Just like I have no way of knowing you won’t blast me on sight like Miss Twilight Sparkle did. I suppose we could sit here and glare at each other until one of us drops dead.” The guardspony paced. “Hmm… how about I add that I’ll release this guard after the deal is made, and attempt to prevent other Shadowborn from harming ponies to the list of terms? Or is it the mind control you’re worried about? I don’t like it either, really, and I don’t plan to use it again unless there’s a dire emergency. Nocturne’s the one who used it.”

Luna pondered this. This “Abyss” creature appeared to be genuine in her attempts to find compromise. And it was obvious Abyss considered her and the other alicorns a threat. However, she had no way of guaranteeing the safety of her ponies, no way of ensuring the truth of her words. Moreover, the prospect of this nocturne character was… troublesome. She had made no attempt to disguise the fact that he bore a grudge for some unmentioned slight, and may bring harm should he decide to use this parasitic bond she spoke of… She also seemed rather scattered in the way she spoke. Was there something important she was neglecting to mention? Luna wasn’t sure.

Finally, Luna came to the conclusion that, should Abyss be telling the truth, the potential rewards were well worth it. And should she be attempting to deceive her, she and her sister would be free to deal with her.

“Very well. I accept your proposal, Abyss. But bear in mind, should you break your end of this deal-“

The guard waved her off. “Yeah, yeah, you’ll smite my ass with lightning or something. I’d expect no less.”

The guard nodded. “It’s been fun. I don’t plan to come back.” And with that, the guard grew slack, and a dark shape raced up to him, becoming his shadow. He collapsed on the ground the moment his shadow snapped back into place. The other guards rushed to his aid, helping him up. He opened his eyes and looked around, dazed and confused.

Luna, meanwhile, left the room, headed to where her sister slumbered. There was much to discuss.

Author's Note:

So Tired. And a little dissapointed. 5 k words seems like a lot more when you're writing it...
Oh, well.
I like Luna.
Can you guess what's coming up neeeext~?

Also, In case you were unaware, the Miranda rights are one of the rights of citizens of the United States.You know on TV where police say "You have the right to remain silent..."? Well, they have to say the rights you have while arrested, known as the Miranda rights after a historic Supreme Court case, or you can sue them big-time.