Pinkie finds herself awake once again, the victim of a recurring nightmare that she doesn't quite understand. But when she pushes herself too far in an effort to make everypony happy, she finds herself forced to confront the dream and a truth she isn't willing to deal with.
Page generated in 0.062 seconds
Total duration
969 users online
1,651,735 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Did not expect to be doing this. EVER. I came up with ideas for fanfiction, but I never actually wrote them out, and certainly never shared them with anyone. I haven't written anything period in a while, so I may be a bit rusty. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Up to this point, I find the writing simply excellent. I like the idea of Pinkie being somewhat troubled but not wanting to show it, and you seem to have a right balance of worried vs. happy.
Keep up the good work, I will definitely be watching this one.
15405
Did not expect someone to actually see this so soon! Or to comment on it! Thank you!
Pinkie's dialogue is easy to write, but writing in her voice was something of a challenge.
But she is oodles of fun to write for, and I can't wait to have enough time to continue working on this. Thanks for watching!
Edited, due to some parts just simply annoying me, particularly that god awful last paragraph of chapter two. I also morphed chapter 1 and 2 together, and I think it works much better this way.
Is this the end?
If not, what happens next? Pinkie still needs to deal with the abandonment disorder and stuff right?
What about those nightmares and he lack of sleep?
If this is the end, then i am now sadface, i hoped to see all lose ends tied up, unless you just let the reader concede how things turned out.
30150
This is the end, for now. I may write a companion story for this, mostly to explore why Pinkie might be so afraid of losing her friends. For me, the weakest thing about the story was that it was too vague about why exactly Pinkie's so worried. But I don't intend to wrap up her story in another chapter and have her been hunky-dory at the end, all neuroses dealt with and gone. It feels fake and forced to me, so for me to write a complete ending I would be satisfied with would require me to write 50 or so chapters of Pinkie moping around and more psychoanalysis, and who wants to read that? Dealing with an issue like that is an on-going process, and it isn't solved by someone saying the right thing at just the right time.
As for me, I'm moderately satisfied with the story as it is; as long as I explore the story behind Pinkie's problem more. I feel it ends on a happy note, albeit open-ended.
That was a great ending. She didn't die
31349
I couldn't kill Pinkie!
That would be totally not super-specially awesome! Unless it added something to the story. Which in this case, would have been a dick move on my part.
Um...why is this story, well on the update list? I didn't add any chapters...
I just I don't like the idea of "rogue weather" in MLP, it doesn't fit with the show; no weather happens unless a Pegasus makes it happen and Twilight, or any skilled Unicorn. should be able to undo weather easily enough... but I guess a lot of fans write that idea anyway. I still don’t like it as a plot device.
Anyway; I'm not sure I understand the story, Pinkie was confronted with a thousand 'what if' scenarios but she didn't a have a real epiphany or conclusion; or anything really, the thing that had been bothering her just went away for no reason and then she thought up false reactions from her friends to just sweep the problem away.
Overall two stars.
199083
Thanks again!
Could you point out somewhere I capitalized pegasi? My Word likes to capitalize it for me, so that happens every now and then.
>dissociative identity disorder
canv.as/ugc/processed/4020ec9ababdf07899fc8b4917432abc4d442f96.png
>Pinkie hadn’t realized before how over the top the plans were, and started giggling. “Kinda silly huh?”
That is a good line! It represents the fic well.
199861
Word is silly.
>She turned around to the group of pegasus behind her, and shouted, “Yo Rainbow! Where ya at? Your friends are looking for you!”
Hey. Make this the plural "pegasi" -- or the Greek plural "pegasuses", if you want.
Seriously -- if the Greek term feels better to you than the cartoon's name for them, I encourage you to use it! Woohoo, nonconformity and that!
Again, just try to consistently keep with your choice; if you make it "pegasuses" in this, change "pegasi" to "pegasuses" in "The Passing of Childhood".
201086
I thought I fixed those!
/begin grammar rant
On the Greek vs Latin plural, there are several complications involving the word pegasus.
One is that original Greek word was a proper name, so it never was pluralized.
Two is that while that is how you spell Greek plural, a LOT of English words that come from Greek (for example octopus) are pluralized with an -i anyways.
So really, it's complicated to figure out what exactly the grammatically correct plural for pegasus, because it's never pluralized outside of MLP. But I know that if I chose to pluralize it as pegasuses, someone will correct me every single time, and quite frankly, it's not that big a deal to me. I'm fine with either, as long as I keep it consistent, at least within my own stories.
/end grammar rant
Salve,
223380
"One is that original Greek word was a proper name, so it never was pluralized."
Not true. It was pluralized and used to refer to individuals other than the original. The Roman author Pliny the Elder used the word generally (like people do nowadays) when he wrote: "sunt mirae aves cornutae (in Africā) et equinis auribus Pegasi" ("There are wonderful horned birds (in Africa) and Pegasi with equine ears").
Vale.