• Member Since 16th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen January 16th

Dreamy Days


I write stories about villains.

Comments ( 11 )

I would disagree with the classification as a slice of life story, as the lives of all three characters are significantly altered by the end of the story. I would rather have it tagged as dark, as it deals with poverty, homelessness and social injustice.

I could argue that the correct classification would be comedy, but I won't go there.

Otherwise, it's a good read.

~bass

3833164 Hmm. Well I went with the slice of life classification because ultimately, this is just a small look at a few hours in these ponies' lives and it pretty much follows the FAQ's definition to a T.

Though now that you bring it up, I think it does warrant the dark tag. It is portraying the "darker and grittier" aspect of the world, something which is in contrast to the normal MLP tone. I'll add it.

3837099 In a way, it does, yes; but in those few hours, significant and permanent changes occur. Too significant, I think, to pass for slice of life. The point of the slice of life genre is to detail any arbitrary moment in the characters' lives, and this is not Any Arbitrary Moment, this is When Their Lives Changed.

Try to think of it this way. Could this happen again? Could the pegasus find another homeless foal, and decide that this was when he was going to actually do something? Could the two fillies be found by another pony who would take them in? No, on both accounts. He has made that desicion now, and the fillies are no longer homeless.

~bass

I would disagree both with the assessment that this story is not Slice of Life and that it's Dark. I spent the entire time reading this story waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yes, it's a bit of a darker tone than what's shown in the show to be mostly sunshine and roses, but it's not really dark. It's realistic. It's a world where some ponies are homeless, and others don't really know what to do. If anything, the overall tone of this story after the entire thing is done is more heartwarming than dark.

Slice of life still suits this story, though. Even though the events in this story change the lives of the ponies involved, it's still a regular day for everypony else. It's a small look into the world of a whole as a few ponies go about their normal lives. The nameless pegasus is doing business, the homeless fillies are trying to survive, everypony else is doing their own pony things. Sure, they've been brought together and afterwards, their lives won't be the same, but the world as a whole hasn't changed. Their worlds have changed, but the world hasn't. How often of an occurrence is it for someone to get adopted? What about a family going out and getting a puppy? These are pretty normal things that happen to people all the time, a story about them is still slice of life even though for the characters involved their life is now irrevocably different.

You might be able to slap a Sad tag on this instead of Dark, but I really don't think it's Dark.

Also, I was reading this for the Royal Guard and this comment has nothing to do with the Royal Guard response you'll be getting with my name on it soon. It's just I felt I should leave you some feedback on the tagging issue since you seemed unsure. Incidentally, if you want the genre tag changed in the queue, let me know.

3899201 Sure, you can go ahead and change it in the queue, if that makes any difference.

And thank you for your feedback. I guess I should learn to have more confidence in my own instincts. If your real feedback for this story is as in depth as this little comment was, then I eagerly await learning from you.

Thank you again.

This was great. Short, sweet, and heartwarming. Grittier portrayals of Equestria are always slightly jarring to me, but I always have to remind myself that even in the show, Equestria is hardly a perfect utopia. The message here is wonderful, and the realism of the setting lends to that message in a way that a lighter, fluffier tone wouldn't have.

And for what it's worth, I agree that Slice-of-Life is a sufficient tag, though the matter seems mostly settled by this point.

As with Light, your writing is solid, with mistakes virtually nonexistent. The characterization is a tad thin, but there's only so much you can do with a story of this length. In a way, it contributes to a kind of universality in the story, in the same way that parables tend to have simple characters. I dunno, it worked pretty well, either way.

Well, you're two-for-two in my book. I can't wait to see more fics from you.

3938578 Ooh, a new fan! Thank you very much. I have a new fic coming Friday for H&HD, which will be another short and sweet type of story like this. I hope you'll like all my future works like you did these two.

I'm actually planning to do a rewrite of this story. There are quite a few issues with it that The Royal Guard pointed out, which may not be so visible at a glance but are more so when you look at it through a fine-toothed comb. Hopefully I can resolve these issues and make the story truly beautiful.

Thank you again!

Quite impressive. Not quite favorite material for me- I would have preferred a bit more detail or an epilogue- but this was a nice read.

3951056 I am aware of that detail problem and am working on revising it.

But thank you nonetheless. :3

3951195 PM me when you're done, I'd love to re-read this.

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