Prologue - Whisper

Author's Note:

This was actually supposed to be a one-shot but as I got more words down I realized that if I wanted to fit everything it would have been way too long for a one-shot so uh... Here it is. Enjoy.

Rarity giggled to herself as she entered her boutique after just coming back home from Manehattan. With a soft sigh, she levitated her purse to a nearby counter and flicked on the light in the kitchen with her magic.

”You can leave my bags just by the door, Spike. I'll take care of the unpacking and sorting. You can run off home now.” She said to the young dragon who listened intently to every word she said with great interest.

”Are you sure you don't need anymore help?” Spike said hopefully.

”No, I am absolutely sure that I have everything in control. I must thank you again for volunteering to help me with my bags, darling.” She said and smirked. Spike's heart took a full stop at her words and specifically her gaze. She leaned down to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then ushered him out through the door. ”I'll see you soon, Spikey!” She said to the dragon as he almost floated away on a cloud of his own happiness after the kiss he recieved.

Rarity giggled at his antics and shook her head as she closed the door. She turned back and walked to one bag in particular. Namely a big, purple bulky bag that had obviously seen better days. She decided to ignore the looks of it and levitated it over to her. She laid it out in front of her and slowly undid the zipper and flipped open the lid. On the very top in the bag was her trophy she had recieved.

She polished it slightly, then put it up on a nearby shelf so everypony could see just how successful she was in the world of fashion so ponies would commission her more often when there was solid proof of how good she really were.

”Oh Rarity...” She muttered. ”You really must be the most fabulous unicorn in all of Ponyville...” She said as she stared at her reflection in a mirror and flipped her mane. ”No, that doesn't really count... You, Rarity, are the most fabulous unicorn in all of Equestria!” She said triamphuntly. But no... Why stop just there? Perhaps there are zebras in their country who can rival her fabulousness? With her mind set, she steeled herself and flipped her mane dramatically slow.

”Rarity, you are the prettiest, and the most fabulous unicorn in the whole known universe!” She proclaimed with bravado. Her stomach grumbled defiantly, though so she decided that the most fabulous -and best- unicorn deserved a meal before starting the slow proccess off unpacking everything again.

With that settled, she walked into the kitchen unaware of what her childish (but true) revelation had accidentally brought to Equestria as a whole.

”Bloody hell...” BLU Sniper muttered. ”Aren't they ever gonna get sick of wearin' those stupid things?” He spat down from the balcony of 2fort, growling as the RED team exited their base, all RED mercenaries wearing the same pink unicorn hat. ”Oh well, makes my job easier. Bloody things make their heads bigger...” He muttered as he looked down the scope of his rifle, waiting for the charge as he targeted the overhealed RED heavy.

”You know, talking to yourzelf is conzidered unhealthy.” BLU Sniper's blood froze as he heard the telltale voice and sound of the RED Spy uncloaking behind him. Sniper reacted quickly and dropped his rifle as he reached for his bushwacka and swung the machete at the frenchman, attempting to gut him. Spy smirked as he backpedaled, smacked Sniper with the back of his left hand to agitate the australian even further.

Sniper snarled and launched himself at the infiltrator, who flipped out his butterfly knife in his right hand, evaded from Sniper's mad dash and jammed his knife as hard as he could into the BLU Sniper's back. The australian screamed and dropped his bushwacka. With the last of his strength, Sniper glared at the grinning frenchman. ”Go to hell, ya bloody unicorn freak...” Sniper said as he stared up at the barrel of the Spy's Ambassador.

”Today... I am a pony god...” Spy muttered as he pulled the trigger of his revolver and with a splatter of blood, the australian collapsed to the floor. Spy leaned down and pulled his knife out from the dead body. ”I'll see you again in 20 seconds... Mate.” Spy chuckled darkly as he brought out his disguise kit and primed his Dead Ringer. Just before he would charge down to the intel room, he heard a strange voice call out within his mind...

”Rarity, you are the prettiest, and the most fabulous unicorn in the whole known universe!”

Spy's eyes narrowed and somehow, his right pony ear twitched. He decided to wait with charging down into the intel room. He needed to have a chat with Engineer about a certain pony denying him from his throne of fabulousness. He dropped down from the balcony and made a beeline directly to the intel room of the RED base.

Meanwhile, the BLU Scout ran past the roof of the bridge connecting the bases, doublejumped and landed safely on RED's balcony. He continued running past into the RED lobby, narrowly avoiding a grimy death from the RED Demoman's sticky bombs. His heart raced as he ascended down the incline to the RED intel room. He was ready to fight anything in his way. But as he rounded the last corner, his eyes widened as a baseball came flying right into his forehead. He cursed and stumbled back and lifted his hands to his forehead, accidentally dropping his scattergun.

He heard a slow, dry laugh from in front of him and looked up. He saw his RED counterpart standing there, twirling a meat cleaver in his right hand whilst eyeing him with a mild glare.

”Look at you! You call yourself a Scout? Ha! You can't even dodge a dumb baseball!” RED Scout taunted mercilessly. BLU Scout snarled and reached for his scattergun, but was interrupted as his counterpart kicked it away from him. ”You ain't needing that anymore, bud.”

BLU Scout had enough. ”Just kill me now so I don't have to keep starin' at that stupid unicorn hat any longer!” He said forcefully. RED Scout snarled and kicked his counterpart in the throat, making him choke and gag for air.

”I'm not no unicorn, pal. I'm a pink rhinocerus.” He snarled. ”How many times do I gotta repeat it to ya?” He said as he flipped his own scattergun and aimed it to the forehead of the other Scout.

BLU Scout didn't say anything. He just smirked and looked up at his unicorn counterpart, spat at him and said one word. ”Freak.”

RED Scout pulled the trigger and with a mild shower of blood, BLU Scout slumped back to the wall. RED Scout snickered and picked up his baseball from beside his dead counterpart and stuffed it in a pocket. He took a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself to run across the battlements to the BLU base, deciding to take the route through the sewers.

Before he could run off, though he heard a female voice reverberate through his brain and this time it wasn't the Administrator.

”Rarity, you are the prettiest, and the most fabulous unicorn in the whole known universe!”

Scout gritted his teeth. Yeah. No. He was obviously the prettiest unicorn in the whole universe. Who ever this Rarity chick was, he was gonna show her what for. He walked back to the intel room where he noticed that all eight of his teammates were also there, each looking equally pissed off or worse.

”I guess you guys also heard that Rarity chick goin' off?” He asked. Medic nodded.

”Ja. Heavy and I vere about to uber and shut the door for the incoming BLU Heavy and Medic. After that, ve heard zis strange voice proclaiming the top spot of all unicorns, so now vere here.” Medic shrugged.

”I was about to deal with the BLU Engineer when I heard this ozzer unicorn making her foolish claims. As it is obvious who the prettiest and the most fabulous unicorn is...” Spy said, raising his head higher.

”The frenchie is right! We all know that the prettiest! And the most fabulous unicorn is me!” Soldier snarled. ”Is that clear, maggots?!” He bellowed. Everyone present rolled their eyes. ”Dammit, I miss my old squad of cardboard cutouts... Never disagreed...” Soldier muttered.

Demoman took a long, slow sip of his Scrumpy. ”Oooh, and ya think ye all had a bad day, eh?” He hiccuped. ”T'day was the worst day I can remember after coming ta this hellhole.” He snarled. ”First, I hear the bloody voice tellin' me off and just after that, I land a bloody domination on the BLU Pyro...” He sobbed. A collective gasp echoed throughout the room and Heavy, who was closest to him, patted his shoulder supportively. ”This unicorn law can go to the shadiest part of hell, and no one would miss it!” Demoman ranted. ”Law says you're married to the one you dominate...” He growled. ”I'd get a better set'a laws from a sheep's arse than this...”

Engineer, who had been busy with a blueprint of a new teleporter glanced up at the collected group. ”All right, Ah think Ah got it. However, Ah will need some 'a yer weapons ya don't use to make this happen.” He looked down to a list of items. ”Scout, Ah'll need some Mad Milk and an Atomizer. Sniper. Get me Jarate, but for God's sake, close the lid on the jar this time. Also I need a Razorback.”

”Heavy, Ah'll need a buffalo steak sandvich, and a normal sandvich.” Engie continued. Heavy looked at the builder curiously.

”Why tiny building man need sandvich?” Heavy asked.

”Ah didn't have time to grab lunch earlier and those sandviches are damn good.” Engie answered shortly. ”Next on the item list... Soldier, Ah'll need a Cow Mangler 5000. Pyro,” the pyromaniac looked up with a giggle ”I will need a Third Degree and one'a your spare Phlogistinators.” Engineer cleared his throat and looked up at the assembled crew. ”Got it?”

A collective hum of approval and a few nods went through the group. ”Perfect.” Engineer said. ”When y'all have time, come down with the equipment I asked ya to bring. You can go up and defend and attack, Ah got the intel room covered and Ah'll hack into the communication system when it's done to let y'all know of when we're good to go.”

With that, the RED mercenaries spread out once again and prepared to fight against the BLU's again. Meanwhile, Engineer grinned as he saw the teleporter coming to be in his mind.

”Son, y'all be ready to meet yer maker...” He snarled as he recalled the obnoxious voice ringing through his head. Luckily, he had been able to track the magical signal sent by the voice with a simple tracking device he built after their run-in with Merasmus in order to prevent being forced to run around the area looking for the mad wizard.

With a heavy sigh, he started dissassembling his Pomson 6000 and Eureka Effect to scavenge what parts he needed for the ardous build to come. He wiped his eyebrow with his left, ungloved hand and collected some metal to start out with from his Dispenser stacked in the corner of the room.

”Let's do this texan style...” He chuckled.

A few hours later, a crackle of static and a brief moment of silence, the RED mercenaries, except for Engineer turned their respective heads to the communication systems that are always occupied by the insane, screaming woman only known as the Administrator.

”Alright fellas, Ah got th' teleporter up n' runnin'. Report back to the intel room in the RED base and we're good ta go.” Everyone in the RED team cheered and started filing back to their base. The BLU mercenaries scratched their heads in confusion as they were left alone on the battlements.

”Should we go after them and see what they're up to?” Scout asked as he turned his head to Medic.

”Nein, zhey have obviously lost zheir minds. It would just be a waste of our time to follow them and one more nuisance less for our employers.” Medic answered with a shrug.

”So...” Scout scratched the back of his head. ”We got the day off or what?” He grinned. Medic sighed and walked back into the BLU base.

”Ja, we got ze day off until those RED idiots return...” Medic said as he walked in front of the assembled mercenaries back to their respawn room. Scout fistpumped at the revelation.

”Awesome! Now I'll go and see what Miss Pauling is doing...” He smiled slyly as he deposited the clips of ammunation for his pistol, along with the spare shells for his scattergun in his locker. He swung his backpack off himself and threw it into the locker and throwing off his headset, grabbing a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch from his backpack in the proccess.

As Scout popped the can open, he couldn't help to wonder what the RED freaks were up to...

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Sergiovan

Sergiovan #1 · Jan 19th, 2014 · · ·

I had to laugh only with the summary thing! Lets see how good it really is...

EDIT: Yep. Very good. But Medic and Pyro got no lines... Shouldn't they be staying behind or something?

Symphony

Symphony #2 · Jan 19th, 2014 · 1 · ·

3808545
Well, Medic should be allowed to have some fun with a new species to ~~brutally dissect~~ study and Pyro... Well, let's just say he'll have fun burning anything she finds. And for the lines, well, I'll think of a few.

Sergiovan