School for Screwball & The Human Watcher
Chapter 5
When I was a little kid I had a hard time falling asleep, I would constantly toss and turn and it would take me forever to fall asleep. So, when I got older I developed a trick to fall asleep, I would think of all the impossible things that I wanted to live and I would create a world that I could live in and I fell asleep much faster. However, recently I found that whenever I would dream I would never remember it, like an old memory which I just couldn't find no matter how hard I tried. Tonight was not one of those nights.
I saw myself walking through a dark forest at night, hearing my thoughts echo through the sky. Questions about myself, what I’m doing, and some weird stuff about cheese raced through my mind as looked up at the night sky and saw the full moon. Although, there was something odd about this moon, there seemed to be some kind of shadow on it, I couldn't make it out but then I realized what it was.
“Luna, if you’re going to watch me you could at least come out and meet me face to face.” I shouted. I remembered that she watched pony’s dreams in “Sleepless in Ponyville” so it made sense that she would try to watch me to.
Sure enough a minute later I saw that shadow disappear from the moon and fly down until it was right in front of me, and it was indeed Princess Luna in all her navy blue beauty.
“How did thou know you were being watched?” She asked.
I needed to make up some reason that doesn't sound like I had foreknowledge of what she’s done. “You’re the princess who guards the night, a big part of nighttime is the dreams that all ponies dream so it makes sense that you would be able to look into their minds. In any case I’m glad that you’re here.”
“Why?”
“Because now I have company, and since I am aware that I’m dreaming I can do this.”
I waved my hand over the ground and suddenly dozens of white flowers started popping up.
“Oh my, these are lovely flowers.” Luna leaned down and sniffed one.
“Thank you they’re nightingales, white flowers that can only bloom at night.”
“I have never heard of such flowers.”
“You wouldn't have, I invented them. It’s a dream remember?”
She nodded in agreement. “Tis true, although I’ve seen few people with such control over their dreams as you.”
“Years of practice...and daydreaming from severe boredom, that’s probablywhy I’m so good at using my discord powers.”
She smiled and we walked together through the moon lit forest.
“So you have a daughter now?” Luna said.
I was a bit surprised that she knew, and then I remembered that all my thoughts were being echoed so she probably heard them as I did. “Yes, it’s a bit odd how she came into my life isn't it?”
She nodded. “Odd yes, but you don’t see it as unwelcome, you are more than willing to look after her because no one else will and also because you really want to.”
“Yeah, I guess I do. Come on, let’s sit for a moment.”
We walked up this small hill and sat underneath a tree.
“I really like this; it’s nice to have you here with me in the nighttime Luna. I honestly prefer night time to the day.”
She looked surprised. “You do?”
“Of course I do, the day is so hot and uncomfortable while the night is cool and relaxing with a slight eerie feel, you can’t stare at the sun to appreciate its beauty but you can do that with the moon, back home a lot the interesting stuff happens during the night, heck there are animals who sleep during the day just because they like seeing the night more.”
This raised Luna’s spirits, I knew that after she came back from the moon she had a tough time adapting so every little bit helps. “Do you really mean that?”
“Completely and utterly, Luna you're nights are fantastic and you should never tell yourself otherwise.”
She smiled and reveled in my compliments. She got up as she felt some kind of disturbance. “The dawn approaches, I must return back to my body so that I can lower the moon.”
“Wait.” I stopped her. “Luna before you go tell me, did this really happen or did I just create an elaborate illusion?”
“It has actually happened and I will take your words to heart I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“Now do me a favor and wake up, some pony’s waiting for you.”
And just like that my world went black and I woke up. I opened my eyes and got up groggily until I looked to my left and saw a small purple filly sitting on my bed which startled me and caused me to fall of the bed.
She giggled a bit. “Good morning, sorry if I scared you.”
I got up and tried to pretend like nothing happened. “What, scared, me? No, I wasn't scared." I nervously moved my eyes from side to side. "Anyways, at least I’m awake now. Quick question, why were you waiting for me?”
“It’s nine o clock and I was hungry.”
“You couldn't have just woken me up?”
“You looked very still, I didn't want to disturb you.”
I shook my head. “Fair enough, I guess I’ll have to get used to getting up earlier. In the meantime…” I snapped my fingers. “I just made you a big stack of pancakes with maple syrup, it’s on the table in the kitchen so you go eat those and I’ll get ready for the day.”
She jumped off the bed and galloped into the kitchen while I went into the bathroom for a quick routine cleaning process (Shower, shave, brush teeth) About thirty minutes later I came out and snapped myself up a new outfit, blue jeans and sneakers with white socks, and a red t-shirt, I walked out and saw that Screwball was finished with her pancakes.
“Good you’re all finished, did you like the pancakes?”
“Yep, they were yummy, so what are we doing today?”
“Well, we have to head down to the school house and register you so that you can go to school but other than that we should have the rest of the day to ourselves. So, grab your cap and let’s head out.”
Screwball grabbed her cap and put it on but as we walked to the door she stopped me.
“Wait daddy, did you eat breakfast to?”
I looked a bit incredulous. “Well…no but-“
“You need to eat breakfast; it’s the most important meal of the day.”
As much as I wanted to deny it she was right. “Okay I’ll eat something, geez I’m already getting told off by a six year old.”
I reached into the cabinet to find something for me to eat, after a bit of searching I found a banana. “Oh a banana, I like banana’s.” I peeled the banana and then swallowed the entire thing in one bite. “There, are you happy?”
Screwball nodded.
“Okay then, let’s go.”
We walked to the door again but then I stopped again. “Wait, I just remembered something.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I haven’t really introduced myself to the ponies around town and they may or may not freak out if they saw me so I need a disguise.”
I snapped my fingers and turned myself into a pony, I was a unicorn stallion with a light blue coat and a dark blue mane with a white stripe in it and a snowflake for a cutie mark.
“Yep this form will work, I shall call myself…Flash Freeze, yeah that’s a good name. Okay let’s go out for real this time.”
We both walked out the front door and headed off to the school house; thankfully no one was strong enough to sense my illusion so I stayed incognito. Eventually, we made it to the school house and thankfully Miss Cheerilee was there so that I could talk to her.
“Excuse me Ms. Cheerilee-“
She sat at her desk and looked up at me. “Yes, can I help you?”
“Hi, my name is Flash Freeze, I’m new in town and I was wondering if I could enroll my daughter in school.”
She smiled. “Sure thing, I’ll just give her a small talk about what to expect from the school year and what she’ll be learning.”
“Great! Would you like me to stay here or…”
“No, I prefer to talk to them myself, come back in about an hour.”
“Alright, if that’s what you prefer I’ll leave you two alone. See you in an hour.”
I walked out of that building and stared at the town before me not sure of what to do.
“Great, I’ve got an hour on my hands and no idea what to do with it. Maybe I can go introduce myself to some pony and make a new friend.” As I thought this to myself I saw a pony I recognized, the lovely Lyra Heartstrings, passing by. “Oh, and I think I just found her.”
I used my magic to transform back into human form and then while no pony was looking I jumped on top of the roofs and started running across, thankfully no pony noticed me as I followed Lyra back to her home to surprise her.
5 minutes later…
Lyra got back to her home and walked inside, she was about to sit down for a nice relaxing cup of tea when suddenly there was a knock on her door. She went to see who it was but when she opened it up there was no one there except for a large cardboard box. When she tried to open the box with her magic, the lid unfolded and suddenly a creature jumped out with confetti.
“Surprise!”
It was me; I put some confetti in the box and waited to surprise her.
“Wha…what are you?” Lyra asked confused.
“I’m a human of course, I just came to Ponyville and I heard you have a thing for humans so here I am.”
I expected her to be ecstatic but she glared at me instead. “Okay ha ha very funny, play a prank on the crazy mare who believes in humans. Bon Bon, is that you in this costume?”
She used her magic to grab my head and try to pull it off like a costume, I pulled as well because she was pulling too hard and it hurt.
“Ow, watch the head I need that for living.”
Once she stopped pulling on my head she realized that I was for real. “Oh my gosh, you actually are a human, I thought that they were an ancient species that only the princess had seen. I didn't know they actually existed.”
“They don't, I came from an alternate time line in an alternate universe.”
Now she looked confused. “What?”
“It’s…complicated.”
“Fair enough, but tell me why did you come here to me?”
“Why not? You’re Lyra Heartstrings the mare who believes in legend, the human enthusiast, and might I add a fantastic lyricist by which I mean pony who plays the lyre. You’re just…ugh, how do I explain it?”
Then I realized how I could explain it, in song. I snapped my fingers and then a tune started up out of nowhere (You can probably guess where I’m going with this so you know which song it is) and I summoned a tuxedo, top hat, and cane for myself. Then, I began to sing.
Will: Human beings fascinate you, being just the way they are!
Tell me little pony, can you push a cart or drive a car?
Lyre is your instrument, but I can strum a sweet guitar
My reality, anthropology!
Lyra started to get into the spirit of things.
Lyra: Fingers, toes and tiny noses, brownish hair and tannish skin
Would it be too much to ask to see the world you’re living in?
Everypony tells me that it's old and fake mythology
It's a mystery, anthropology!
Will: Aren't you bored of brushing your coat, styling your mane with your hooves?
I don't mean to butt in or gloat, but ancient history proves...
I tossed Lyra a book on anthropology.
Lyra: Humans don't have wings or magic. They don't need it; they don't care!
All they've got's imagination, new inventions everywhere!
Babies, children, teens and elders, all alike have clothes to wear
It's so real to me, anthropology!
I summoned a projector and a white board so that I could do a little slide show.
Will: Albert Einstein, Cleopatra, William Shakespeare, Elton John,
Michael Phelps, Barack Obama...who's to say that they're all gone?
Maybe humans like you too and dress like you at Comic-Con?
It's so real you see anthropology!
Lyra: Yeah, you've had a couple of fights,
Nobody's perfect you see,
Still I say I'm born with the rights
to study whatever I please!
Will: I don't need to horse around now; I can stand on two legs!
I will use my magic powers to give you some new legs!
Time is right, my magic’s booming
I’ll turn this mare's turned to a human, you!
That is what I’ll do!
As the song ended I snapped my fingers and turned Lyra into a human being, she looked to be in her early 20’s with a mint green sundress that had her cutie mark on the side and the same mint green hair with a white stripe in it, I mad her skin beige like mine and took away her horn.
After the transformation was done, she was freaking out. “Oh my, I’ve got the...and the…and these…I think I need to sit down.”
She went and sat down on her couch and found it to be much more comfortable now. “Hm, with this new human body sitting like this isn’t as uncomfortable.”
“Right?” I sat down next to her. “So, how do you like your new body?”
“It’s so cool, I have hands now and I can pick up stuff without my magic.”
“Well, if you want it you still have it.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, in case you still wanted to use your magic I rerouted the magic control in your body so that it goes to your hands, go ahead and try it.”
Lyra looked at a flower vase over by a coffee table and outstretched her fingers, she focused on that vase and a glow appeared around it and her newly formed hand as she brought the vase closer to her.
“This is amazing!”
“Yeah well don’t get used to it, the transformation is temporary and it will only last for about an hour. Well, it was nice to talk to you Lyra but I have to go.”
I was about to walk out the door but she grabbed my arm.
“Wait, I had a fun afternoon with you and you gave me this amazing gift at least let me thank you with a cup of tea.”
“That sounds nice; I think I’ll stay for tea.”
She went into the kitchen and got the tea ready; it was a nice green tea with a bit of lemon in it. As we drank we sat down and talk about our lives, she told her about her roommate Bon Bon and asked me why I had my magic. I didn’t feel like telling her I was the reincarnation of Discord so I told her that I was a special case which is why I had my magic powers. Without knowing it fifty minutes had sped by just like that and I needed to get back to Screwball.
“Well this was nice but now I actually do have to leave, I have to get back to my kid.”
She looked surprised. “You have a kid? But you’re a teenager, how does that work?”
“It’s…look, my life is really complicated and it would take more time than I have to explain it so until then, goodbye.”
I snapped my fingers and teleported out of the house, at first Lyra missed me but then in a second I returned.
“Oh, before I left there’s something I wanted to give you.”
I snapped my fingers and summoned a small bag filled with powder and handed it to Lyra.
“What is it?”
“It’s worm sage powder.” Lyra made a gross face. “It’s not as gross as it sounds; it’s actually a highly magical dust that can absorb a spell for use later. Sprinkle just a little bit of this on yourself and you’ll turn back into a human for two hours.”
“Thank you very much.”
“No problem friend, now I’m leaving for real this time.”
I snapped my fingers and teleported back to right outside the school house. I walked inside and saw that Cheerilee and Screwball had finished their conversation, however when Cheerilee looked at me she was shocked and a little bit disgusted.
“What’s wrong?” I looked at myself and then remembered that I forgot to change back into my pony persona. “Right the transformation, I forgot it didn’t I?”
Cheerilee slowly nodded her head still focused on me.
“Alright I think it’s about time I come clean. Miss Cheerilee I am not a pony, I’m actually a creature called a human who was given incredible magic powers and I plan to use them for good. I know I may seem scary but I can assure you that I mean you no harm, if that was the case I never would have brought my daughter here and I wouldn’t have given you those flowers on the desk.”
“I don’t have any-“
I snapped my fingers and summoned a bouquet of sunflowers in a vase onto Ms. Cheerilee’s desk. She looked at them for a moment and then admired their beauty. “Thank you very much Flash, I will put these in my garden so that all the children can enjoy.”
“Great, so my appearance doesn’t scare you?”
“It’s strange at the very least, but nothing about you says that you’re a very scary or bad person. Also, if you didn’t care you wouldn’t have brought your daughter here.”
Screwball got up and started walking towards me. “Yep, she means a lot to me. So, I’m guessing we’ll see you again tomorrow for class.
She nodded her head. “Yes and I look forward to seeing Screwball tomorrow. Have a wonderful day you two.”
“Thank you, and by the way my name’s Will.”
Screwball and I walked out of the school house and headed back home. “So Screwball, did you and Ms. Cheerilee have a nice talk?”
“Yep, she told me about all the things I could learn and all the friends I could make and she showed me her garden.”
Unfortunately when she mentioned Cheerilee having a garden I had some…less than appropriate thoughts. “Damn it brain, there’s a child here be cool.”
When we reached the house I waved my hand over the door knob which unlocked it and then I opened the door. However, as I walked into the dark home something felt…off.
“SURPRISE!”
Suddenly the lights turned on and I was greeted by Pinkie Pie and about two dozen other ponies. I was so shocked by the ordeal that I fell backwards and hit my head on the floor. As I tried to get up I saw Pinkie come over to me.
“You okay Willie?”
I rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Pinkie, what are you doing here, and how did you get into my house?”
“Well, I was in Sugar Cube corner baking but then I got this funny feeling which I usually get when somepony new is in town, so I rushed around trying to find the new pony but I couldn’t and then I stopped feeling the feeling so I went back to work.” Pinkie took a deep breath. “So, I waited and a little while later the feeling came back and so I rushed to try to find it and then I saw a small purple filly with a blue unicorn I hadn’t seen before. What’s strange is that the girl felt new but the unicorn didn’t and so I thought who do I know that has enough magic to make themselves look like somepony else and the only person I could think of was you, so I came here and started preparing the welcome to Ponyville party for…”
Pinkie finally stopped talking because she didn’t know the filly’s name. “Oh right you son't know her name, Pinkie this is Screwball and for lack of a better word she is my daughter.”
Suddenly the rest of the main six came out of nowhere and looked equally shocked. “Daughter?”
“Well not in the traditional sense, let me explain…”
And so I explained how Screwball came to be and they all looked enthralled by my tale.
“That is an interesting story, although I question your logic. From what I read being a parent is very difficult are you sure that you can handle the responsibility?” Twilight commented
“Guys, I know you’re worried that I can’t handle the responsibility of raising a filly but I think this will be good for me. Think about it: I’ve got magic powers beyond belief so that will make it easier to take care of her, despite me being young I think I’m mature and an excellent teacher, and also Screwball is literally made of my magic so she’s part of me and I refuse to give her up for any reason.”
“Well, if you think this is the right decision…”
“Of course I do, this will be good for her and for me as well. I can’t wait to watch her grow up and learn things it’s gonna be great. But, Pinkie went to all the trouble of planning this party let’s go enjoy it!”
The party lasted for about three more hours and I managed to meet every significant background pony and side character and introduced myself which made me happy. After a while every pony started going home and I saw them out.
“Bye guys, thanks for coming to my awesome house party. Bye Twilight, bye Rarity, bye Vinyl, bye Derpy, bye Berry,bye Fluttershy, bye Rumble, bye Rainbow Dash, bye... the rest.”
Every pony stormed out of my house leaving only Screwball inside and Pinkie who was bouncing towards the door. I pulled her to the side for a second because I wanted to talk to her.
“Hey Pinkie, thank you so much for planning this party for me I really think it’s what I needed for every pony to start warming up to me.”
“No problem Willie, I love throwing parties so I don’t mind setting them up.”
“Well, I still feel like I need to thank you somehow.” Then a thought crossed my mind and I opened my arms. “How about…one of these?”
She came up to me, got on her back hooves, and gave me a large hug which I enjoyed, it was warm and inviting and I could smell her candy scented hair. Within a minute it was over and she walked out.
“Good night.” I said
As Pinkie walked further down the block I closed the door and I saw Screwball looking at me curiously.
“Why did you hug Pinkie?”
“I don’t know sweetie, ever since I got these chaos powers I’ve had all these weird thoughts and I feel urged to do those thoughts. That’s why I changed my bed into a cloud.”
“Why would you do that?”
I shrugged my shoulders “I don’t know. Well we should probably get to bed, goodnight sweetie.”
With that Screwball walked off to her room and me to mine. As I entered I looked at my new cloud bed and got on carefully fearing that I would fall through. However, when I found it was solid I enjoyed the comfort and puffiness of it.
“Oh my gosh, no wonder Rainbow Dash takes so many naps on these things, they’re so comfortable.”
I settled into a comfortable position and slept soundly.
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I NEED MOAR!!!!
COLTS WITH MAGIC ASCOTS
3914152 Not even close, but I do love that idea. I can imagine a stallion with a magical ascot that moves on its own and strangles people...Actually that was the concept of a TV show I believe, it was called "The cape" and that show sucked the big one so...yeah not doing that. However, your description was hilarious and possibly made my day so good on you.
Can waffles make apples?
Canvasser whiff Markab aglow
I have no idea
crazy wankers making afros
3937209
3914152
3936829
You guys are idiots.
3936829 Especially you.
Cults, War, Mages, and Apples
3914152 3936829 3937209 4233409 4038561
Guys, I recently explained what the answer is, you can see the answer right here
Just a fyi, just because people don't comment on every chapter doesn't mean it isn't good, just assume they kept reading?
pfft hahahahahahahahaha