Soarin's broken AC

by Flames173

The Blizzard

Soarin was sitting at home, covered in every blanket he had in his house, watching TV.

"Ugg, I hate winter. Cloudsdale has to be at just the right height for all the snow clouds to be IN the town." Soarin complained for no reason. His rather short tirade wasn't going to change anything.

"That's right pegasi, it's the coldest winter ever recorded in Equestria! You might want to go out and buy another heater or plenty of blankets when you get the chance!" The anchor mare laughed lightly. "Now to Thunder Blaze with sports."

Soarin hit the power button on his remote. "I hate those newscasters. They get to work in a news station with only the best heaters in Equestria." he began. "It just irks me, they can stay in the building as long as they want, long after the camera quits recording. If only I had as good a heater as they do." Then, something clicked in his mind. "Oh yeah!" He jumped up, several blankets falling to the ground. He bolted across the room and down the hall to his bedroom, all the while shivering so much that he could barely walk straight. When he entered his room, he went straight for his small closet. Soarin dug around through the hundreds of outfits he had until he finally parted a hole large enough for him to walk into. He stretched his wings to hold his clothes back, then he reached forward to his thermostat.

"I have the most advanced heating technology ever conceived, why didn't I do this earlier?" he said as he set it to a solid 80 degrees before wandering back into his living room. He quickly reassembled his blanket cocoon so he could stay warm until the heating kicked in. After a few minutes, he was still chilled to the bone. "Oh w-well. Some things j-just work slowly in th-the cold." He pulled the blankets tighter around his body. "It will t-turn on any second." Soarin reassured himself before he waited another ten minutes with no results. He quickly dashed back to his closet and checked the thermostat, leaving a trail of blankets in his wake. He stared at the thermostat. It's display screen showed less than desirable results.

TARGET TEMPERATURE: 80 CURRENT TEMPERATURE: -21
ERROR DETECTED GET MAINTENANCE

"Mother of Celestia." Soarin cursed to himself before meandering back to his living room, picking up every blanket along the way. "Stupid broken heater." He went over to his cloudline and took it off the receiver. He called the company to repair his heater. There was silence for several seconds before the dial tone started.

"Hello, sorry for the inconvenience, but due to the weather, none of our workers in your town can assist you. Please call again tomorrow. Goodbye." an automated voice said.

"I HATE YOU!" Soarin screamed before slamming his phone back on the receiver. "Oh w-well. Maybe some video games will t-take my mind off of it." He went up to his TV and grabbed a controller for his Maretendo Ponii game console. He went back to his couch and sat on it, then he pulled the blankets he had as close and tight to himself as he could. He hit the power button and attached the kunai attachment. He waited for the home screen to display, then he chose the game channel. His favorite game opened up. He passed the title screen, then a black page with blue lettering appeared. His TV said a quote from a somewhat famous philosopher.

"Two possibilities exist. The first, that we are alone in the universe, the other, that we are not. Both are equally terrifying." -Arthur C Clarke.

He played the game for about half an hour before the coldness finally got to him too bad. "Ok, I give up!" he said angrily. Soarin tossed his controller back to his ponii and he got up, holding a blanket to his body as well as his wings could. He went back to his phone and picked it up. He hit one of his contact buttons, the one marked with a heart, and he waited. The phone rang for a bit before a familiar voice answered.

"Yo Soarin, whats up?" the pony on the other line asked.

"Hey R-rainbow, you w-wanna come over?" Soarin asked. He secretly hoped she would come, so they could cuddle up and warm each other with their body heat.

Rainbow Dash squealed for a second before she coughed and got regained her cool. "Sorry, I uh, stubbed my hoof. Anyways, I can't, it's too cold, my wings would freeze before I took off." she said.

"Oh, all r-right." Soarin said, disappointed. He never even got through before, she was always practicing for the wonderbolts, or doing stuff with her friends whenever Soarin had the chance to call her, and now, he got through, and she can't come over because of the weather.

"You need anything else?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No, I'm good."

"All right. Bye then."

"Bye." Soarin hung up then went back to his couch. Little did he know that a certain cyan mare was sitting in her oasis of a home, crying about what just happened.

"Why doe it have to be so cold?" Rainbow Dash cried.

Soarin sat on his couch. "Celestia, why does it have to be so cold? I'm going to die if nothing happens!" Soarin said, starting to lose feeling in his hooves. He looked at the floor and thought of everything he had done, the rights and the wrongs. The rights and the lefts. Everything else. Then, he felt warm. "What?" He sprang up from his couch and ran to his room, and to his surprise, there was a goddess standing there.

"I fixed your AC so it can turn off now, thus allowing your heater to turn on." Celestia said.

"Thank you, I owe you so much!"

"No, you owe me nothing, just, promise me you'll go out with that one mare with the heart in your contacts." Celestia winked then vanished.

Soarin knew exactly what he was going to do next. He went up to his phone and picked it up.

Comments

[bahatumay]

Now that's a deus ex machina.
Or maybe it's deus fix machina?

[deli73]

xP

[Flames173]

You know, this story came to me around midnight. I got the idea when I realized my heater wasn't heating my room, and in Wisconsin lately, you NEED as much heat as possible. (As of time of posting) (though my AC wasn't stuck on, I have floor heaters and just forgot to open the grate thing) I wrote this for shits and giggles. I wasn't actually attempting it to be more well liked than any of my other stories.

[Ninjadash]

"No, you owe me nothing, just, promise me you'll go out with that one mare with the heart in your contacts." Celestia winked then vanished.
Soarin knew exactly what he was going to do next. He went up to his phone and picked it up....and called Spitfire
ME/RAINBOW DASH : SON OF A....

[Flames173]

3842168
I'm Flames, and I approve this unofficial ending.

[Ninjadash]

3843392
Don't even bother running Soarin' , you can't hide from Dash!