Good story, but slow down the Romance! Make it believable, or in other words, allow the passage of time. Allow time for the characters to advance their relationship and for readers to see the stages of their relationship. Other than that, great job.
Good thing you added that. I had the impression that they had just 3 digits on their hands. I guess I'm not used to people counting thumbs separately.
fell through my couch and into this tunnel or... some kind of warm hole.
I assume you mean "wormhole". Unless this is intended as some kind of innuendo.
The moment I finished, her expression turned into shock, "Experiments!?"
Well, a kinda weird reaction. An experiment doesn't necessarily involve animals or living beings at all. Why is that the first thing that comes to her mind ?
It's Sapient. SAPIENT! Not Sentient. All Animals on Earth are Sentient because they can feel and even perceive things. Humans are Sapient because they have advanced brains able to thing, reason, ect. It is why Humans are Homo Sapiens.
If celestia is only a head taller than our protagonist then she can't be taller than him sitting. Unless the hospital bed was unreasonably high off the floor.
8936513 Yeah, sorry about that. My grammar have improved since this chapter, but what I really need is an editor. It gets a bit difficult finding errors in your own work, and sorry in advance because you will be finding more errors as the story goes on.
I wish this comes out with new chapters soon as it just cuts off after Celestia gets back after going to Marcus's world and making first contact and getting things started
Bro, you seriously need an editor and a proof-reader to help you out with your story's kinks!
Not bad story, I'll be looking forward to this.
Good story, but slow down the Romance! Make it believable, or in other words, allow the passage of time. Allow time for the characters to advance their relationship and for readers to see the stages of their relationship. Other than that, great job.
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Yeah don't worry this is just to plant the seed of loves, a bit strong but the message got across
WOOOHOOO, I like it, AWESOME!!!
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Uh... Doesn't he know that Spike has the hots for Rarity? If he doesn't, then he's in a world of hurt.
Blergh..it feels like you fit a weeks worth of events into one day
You mean clock.
5118201
That's just asking for an Abbott and Costello reference.
"You point at what you like, and I'll point at what I like!"
4544865 yeah, it seems a tad rushed, abd in some need of proofreader/editor, though it's still good
"The food were strangely similar to human's, but they were just planets and sweets."
I didn't know ponies ate planets, huh?
5328396 Lol ponies are just that badass
lol
Good thing you added that. I had the impression that they had just 3 digits on their hands.
I guess I'm not used to people counting thumbs separately.
I assume you mean "wormhole". Unless this is intended as some kind of innuendo.
Well, a kinda weird reaction. An experiment doesn't necessarily involve animals or living beings at all. Why is that the first thing that comes to her mind ?
It's Sapient. SAPIENT! Not Sentient. All Animals on Earth are Sentient because they can feel and even perceive things. Humans are Sapient because they have advanced brains able to thing, reason, ect. It is why Humans are Homo Sapiens.
where did this come from I don't recall seeing the princess in danger?
If celestia is only a head taller than our protagonist then she can't be taller than him sitting. Unless the hospital bed was unreasonably high off the floor.
I like the story but the grammar is atrocious
8936513
Yeah, sorry about that. My grammar have improved since this chapter, but what I really need is an editor. It gets a bit difficult finding errors in your own work, and sorry in advance because you will be finding more errors as the story goes on.
Well that was stupid. Also when he's explaining human to Celestia he sounds like a rambling 12 year old.
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Yeah I probably could have done a better job writing this story in general.
I wish this comes out with new chapters soon as it just cuts off after Celestia gets back after going to Marcus's world and making first contact and getting things started