• Published 6th Jan 2014
  • 17,302 Views, 827 Comments

The Not-So-Normal Adventures of King Sombra and Pinkie Pie - Harmony Charmer

Sequel to "The Cake Batter Incident". An unlikely bond is formed when Pinkie is tasked to reform Sombra, the ex-king of the Crystal Empire.

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Chapter 3: Meeting the Crusaders

Ponyville was alive with activity that afternoon. Everypony had something to do, whether it be shopping for groceries or just being with friends. The typically quiet town was loud, something that seemed to happen once every blue moon. The only two ponies to not be speaking, were King Sombra and Pinkie Pie.

After a small spat at Twilight's tree house earlier that morning, Pinkie had taken to giving Sombra the silent treatment. Sombra hadn't a clue to what he did wrong(as most stallions do), but he wasn't going to apologize anytime soon.

'She can pout all she wants,' he thought as he caught her sneaking a glare his way, 'I did nothing wrong!'

Pinkie was trying to maintain a calm composure, something that she wasn't familiar with doing. But, she also wasn't familiar with being angry over something so minor. When she heard Sombra make that comment about Twilight, she could feel her guts wrench in disgust and another feeling she didn't know.

'I don't know why it made me so upset,' she admitted to herself, sneaking a regretful look at Sombra. 'Maybe I should apologize for my behavior...' she mused.

Just then, Berry Punch walked by Sombra and stopped to look at him.

"Why, hello good looking!" she purred, fluttering her eyelashes.

Pinkie felt her stomach twist heatedly and growled when she saw Sombra return her sly grin. Her obvious disdain and anger was lost upon the flirting ponies, which only made it escalate further.

"Not too bad looking yourself..." he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Pinkie felt her ears grow hot with anger and her cheeks reddened. She opened her clenched jaw to make a statement, but stopped when her ears began flopping against her head.

"Twitcha Twitch..." she said to herself quietly, then jumped into the air while screaming, "TWITCHA TWITCH!"

Surrounding ponies jumped in shock and a collective gasp was shared by the Ponyvillians. Berry Punch put her hooves to her mouth to simulate a megaphone.

"Her ears are flopping! Her ears are flopping!" she shouted to the crowd, then said to Sombra, "You might wanna get a bath ready if you're gonna stay out here."

Sombra gave her a quizzical look and watched as all the ponies ran off in different directions, going into their houses and hiding.

"Does this town really believe that you can predict the future?" Sombra asked Pinkie, obviously still in disbelief.

Pinkie knew that it was best to be understanding with non-believers of her ability. She'd done so with Twilight, and in the end, she gave in and admitted that Pinkie's "gift" was more than just a series of coincidences. But, she was still furious with Sombra, so she wasn't in the mood to defend her Pinkie Sense.

"Believe what you want, Sombra," she said his name like it was poison, "just don't whine when you have to take a bath." She whipped around, flicking her tail in his face as she hopped away.

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" Sombra boomed, "You're all acting foalish over some schizophrenic mare?!"

Nopony responded, causing Sombra to groan loudly.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere!" he proclaimed, sitting on his rear, "I'm going to prove just what a fraud that insane ma-"


Sombra whipped around and saw the same trio he had seen only a few hours ago. The tomboyish Pegasus was on a small scooter, with a small wagon occupied by her unicorn and earth pony friends. Her small wings were flapping quickly enough to be blurry and showed no sign of slowing down.

Frozen by his newfound shock, he watched himself come into contact with the three fillies. The force knocked them all into a large mud puddle, that just so happened to be near where Sombra was standing. The cold, dirty sludge covered the four ponies in a wave, simulating that of a small tsunami. Sombra spat out the mud that had gotten into his mouth and glared at the small fillies.

"Sorry, Mister!" he heard a squeaky voice exclaim. He could make out the silhouette of the small unicorn, who had climbed out of the mud puddle.

The small Pegasus shook off globs of mud, which then landed on the others, much to their disdain.

"Scoots, stop that, will ya?" said a southern little voice, "Ah'm used to getting my hooves dirty, but it don't mean Ah like it!" Her pink hair bow laid limply against her dirty mane, making her head look deformed.

Sombra jumped out of the mud puddle and stared down the fillies with anger.

"You little brats!" he snarled, "Just what were you thinking doing something so foalish?"

The unicorn filly's eyes warbled and her lower lip quivered.

"We're real sorry," the country filly drawled, "we didn't mean t' run inta ya."

A pair of loud, high pitched laughs pierced the air, breaking through Sombra's confrontation with the three troublesome fillies. Already angry and peeved, Sombra rigidly looked up from the trio to see another duo of fillies. The pink coated filly's head held a silver tiara, with what Sombra assumed to be real diamonds, her cutie mark matching it perfectly. Her silver friend wore a pair of cat eye glasses, a silver spoon adorning her flank.

"Look at the Cutie Mark Losers!" the pink filly sneered, laughing snidely.

The Pegasus glared at her and stood up in the puddle, her eyes narrowed in anger as she leaned forward in hostility.

"Shut up, Diamond Tiara!" she snarled, flapping her wings enough to cause her to hover in the air. Diamond's friend giggled behind her hoof, her laughter snidely high.

"Careful, Chicken," she said with snark, "You might lose what little feathers you got!"

The orange filly's eyes widened in shock and she looked down in shame, her gaze shifting over to her small wings that were clear of mud from her previous flight.

"Leave 'er alone, Silver Spoon!" the earth pony snapped, stepping up to the two bullies.

Diamond glared at her and ground her teeth, obviously not appreciative of the country filly's order. "You can't talk to me that way, Blank Flank," she snarled.

Sombra felt a prick of familiarity as he heard those words and his head began to throb, to which he grabbed it with a hoof. Suddenly, the world around him disappeared

Sombra saw several foals surrounding him, each one pointing and laughing at him. He wanted to yell at them, to punish them for their foolishness, but couldn't. He looked down at himself and saw that he was much smaller than he used to be. Upon looking at his flank, he saw that his cutie mark had vanished and that it was as bare as the day he was born.

"Blank Flank! Blank Flank! Blank Flank!" the crowd of foals chanted.

He felt his eyes prick with tears and felt them roll down his cheeks. Sombra wasn't prone to cry and the fact he was doing so was beyond his own control. He started sobbing uncontrollably, then curled up into a ball and hid his face in his hooves.

Sombra's eyes opened and he saw that he was back in Ponyville. He felt his face for tears and saw that none had secreted from his eyes, much to his appreciation.

He watched as the two bullies continued to egg on the three ponies, who began to shrink smaller and smaller with each insult. A rush of anger flowed through him as the strange vision flashed in his mind and he clenched his jaw angrily.

"Leave them alone, you brats!" Sombra barked, causing all the fillies to jump in surprise.

Diamond Tiara was the first to recover and resumed her glare. "How dare you?" she snarled, "I will not be spoken to by a commoner in such a tone!"

She started laughing, Silver Spoon joining in.

It had been one thing to be publicly humiliated by the three fillies, but now Sombra was being stripped of what little he had of his royal title. He would not stand for this, and he knew that he'd have to make an example of the two foolish girls.

Sombra reared on his back hooves and slammed his forehooves onto the ground. He opened his jaws, then let out a roar that challenged that of a manticore. His sharp fangs glinted in the light, making him look ravenous.

Both Diamond and Silver remained frozen for a brief moment, then screamed at the top of their lungs as they ran off with their tails in between their legs.

"And don't let me catch you messing with any other fillies!" he shouted, glaring at their backs.

He heard a small chorus of cheers come from beside him and looked to see the three fillies cheering victoriously.

"That was awesome!" the orange pegasus exclaimed, hovering in the air.

"Heck yeah, it was!" shouted the southern pony.

"Thank you for standing up for us!" the small unicorn squeaked, beaming happily.

Sombra was about to resume his earlier scolding on them getting him into such a situation, but was interrupted by a loud shriek.

"Sweetie Belle!" he heard a familiar voice shout, "What in Equestria happened to you? You're filthy! And what was that roar I he-" When Sombra turned around, he saw Rarity staring at him in shock. "What are you doing with my sister and her friends?"

Sombra blinked and looked from Rarity to Sweetie Belle, then to Rarity again.

"You're related?" he asked in a surprised tone.

Sweetie Belle jumped over to Rarity, still beaming. "Sis, you missed it!" she exclaimed in her squeaky voice, "He just stood up to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon for us!"

Her pegasus friend hovered over and threw her hoof in the air. "And it was awesome!" she cheered.

Rarity blinked in surprise and looked Sombra up and down. "What, pray tell, happened to you?" she asked, grabbing a handkerchief from her saddlebag. She rubbed the silky fabric over his cheek, getting a fraction of the mud off his face.

"We came zoomin' inta town t' go crusading," the country pony admitted, "but we ran inta him and fell in the mud." Rarity blinked and put a hoof to her chin.

"Strange.." she murmured, "you'd think Pinkie's Pinkie Sense would have told somepony about that..."

Sombra groaned as he remembered the core cause for his misery and put a hoof to his face as he shook his head exasperatedly.

"I give up!" he shouted, landing on his rear as he threw his hooves into the air.

* * *

Pinkie had heard the roar when she started to make her way down the block. At first, she thought that Gilda had come back to Ponyville, for whatever reason. It was a silly thought, of course, but she didn't want to take the risk. Fearful that Sombra might try to fight her, seeing as how he particularly aggressive that day, she dashed back to the area where she left him.

But, once she got there, what she saw instead made her see red.

Sombra was talking to Rarity, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders covered in mud, the reason unknown to Pinkie. Rarity appeared to be cleaning his cheek up with a handkerchief, while Sombra, who wasn't a fan of ponies touching him, didn't seem bothered by it.

Pinkie bristled as she watched the two unicorns interact with one another, completely unaware of her watching them. Sombra had not only flirted with Twilight, he was also flirting with Rarity?

'Wait a second...' Pinkie thought, 'Sombra doesn't think she's pretty! He called her fat the first time they met!'

Then, another thought reached her. Pinkie remembered when she was a filly, she was told that being extremely hefty back in the colonial times of Equestria was considered extremely attractive. And if memory served her right, Sombra was around during those times.

'He wasn't insulting her...' she realized, her eyes narrowing, 'He was complimenting her!'

"SOMBRA!" she shouted, zooming towards the the talking unicorns.

Sombra turned towards her and his eyes widened in shock, scrambling to his hooves as he struggled to get away from her. But, Pinkie tackled him head on and they tumbled on the ground for a few moments.

Rarity gasped and pulled the Crusaders away from the tussle, preventing them from being injured as the two wrestling ponies struggled for dominance. But, Pinkie won out in the end, her strength deemed superior with her anger to back her.

"You flirt!" Pinkie snarled, "You can't keep to one mare, can you, Sombra?"

Sombra struggled and attempted to get away, but his attempts were futile as Pinkie successfully held him down to the ground.

"Pinkie!" Rarity shrieked, rushing over to her side, "Why are you attacking Sombra?"

Pinkie whipped around to face her and glared at her.

"Why? Why? WHY?!" each word got progressively louder, "Because he flirts with anything that moves! Mares don't want a stallion who flirts with everypony!"

Rarity blinked and quirked a brow upwards.

"And that bothers you because...?" she questioned.

Pinkie opened her mouth to shout angrily, but stopped as she blinked in surprise and began to think about it. Why did it make her upset? Why did she care so much about Sombra's flirting?

'Is it possible...?' she thought, her eyes widening in horror.

"Because..." she stammered, then blurted out, "It's part of his reforming process!"

Sombra stopped struggling as he looked at her bewilderedly and took this opportunity to shove Pinkie off of him.

"What?" he spat out angrily, glaring at the mare.

Pinkie rubbed the back of her head nervously, a tinge of red brushing across her pink complexion.

"Well, if you can't commit to one pony, then how can you commit to being reformed?" she said quickly, "I mean, you have to learn to be committed or you won't, and it'll get worse and worse, until one day, you'll die alone!"

She shoved a hoof into her mouth and watched Sombra nervously. He watched her carefully for a few more seconds, then sighed exasperatedly.

"Whatever," he said, shaking his head, "Just tell me next time, will you? I don't want you freaking out on me like earlier."

He looked down at the Crusaders and leaned down to their level. "Next time those brats try to bother you, don't hesitate to get me, alright?" he whispered.

The fillies smiled together and nodded erratically, causing Rarity to eye the four suspiciously.

"Well, we should probably get you cleaned up," Pinkie mused aloud, grabbing Sombra's hoof and pulling him along. He groaned, but followed her anyway, rolling his eyes.

"What do you think, Crusaders?" Scootaloo asked her fellow members. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom smiled giddily and watched as Pinkie and Sombra walked away from them.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders: Matchmakers!" they shouted, smacking their hooves together.

Rarity rolled her eyes and watched the unicorn and earth pony couple go into Sugarcube Corner.

'If these oblivious fillies can see they like each other,' Rarity thought, 'then how come they can't?'

She sighed and herded the girls together, ushering them to her house and boutique.

'No matter,' she mused, 'Even if Twilight doesn't believe me, I'll figure out a way to prove those two belong together!'

Author's Note:

I listened to Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent" and Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" to motivate Pinkie's anger. Never been jealous of a boy flirting with another girl and hopefully I never will be. I get the romance stuff from books and all that jazz. I'm worse than Twilight when it comes to that mess.