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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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fast paced but well written....I LIKE IT! ...*smashes keyboard* Another!
hmmm. I shall follow and fav and like, ill be waiting for more....
3610645 Good...Good already have two I am typing up.
please can i have another
3615107 Absolutely. also if you have any requests, my pen is at your disposal.
3616062
I see what you did there.
Minor errors. Make sure you indent, and *about not aboot. You need a comma or an exclamation point after Luna in "Oh Luna Soarin I'm sorry." It kinda runs together a bit. And this needs revision " ‘If only you knew’ thought Soarin as he replied “I like pie.” As he blushed a little. " That last bit is a fragment. I'd suggest something like " "I like pie," Soarin replied as he blushed, thinking 'just one, repeatedly.' " Just a few notes for you, I'm not trying to be critical an excellent job. I hope to see more.
I liked it. For your first story, I found it to be pretty well written. It sure did escalate quickly though. Then again, that doesn't surprise me when you intended it to be just a simple clopfic. Good work.
3625552 thanks a lot! When I get the next few chapters out I hope they stand up just as well if not better! Also If you want something with a little more I have a few things I am story-boarding....