Chapter 3: Reunion
Chapter 3: Reunion
Sky slowly paced back and forth, hoof-steps muffled by the rich carpet. “Okay,” he muttered. “I can do this. Nothing to it. It’s just going to be a talk, nothing to worry about.” He drew in a deep breath and slowly sighed it out. “Right.”
After a moment to straighten himself out, he walked forward, stepping around the corner he had lingered behind for the past few minutes. Just down the hall lay the door into Chrysalis’s chambers, with three of her soldiers standing before it. They were clad in armor, with the two on either side carrying spears. All stood at perfect attention, as did the four Royal Guard facing them a short distance away.
It was unnerving to step between the two unmoving groups, as if their tense standoff might explode at any moment. It was even more unsettling to be the one to throw the match into the tinder by breaking that uneasy silence.
He was particularly unprepared for the sudden wave of scorn and hatred that assailed his senses the moment he stepped in front of Chrysalis’s guards. He faltered for a moment before finding his voice again. “I’ve come to speak with Chrysalis.”
“The queen has not summoned you,” the center soldier said, breaking from his unmoving stance to glare back at him.
Sky’s ears twitched as they fought to lay flat in the face of the overwhelmingly hostile changeling. “I know that she asked to speak with Nictis, but he is unavailable right now. I’ve come to speak in his place.”
“The queen has summoned Nictis, not you. She does not wish to see anyling else.”
Sky blinked. “I… I know I’m not him, but he can’t make it right--”
“Then he has further failed his queen, and your presence makes no difference. If the queen wished to speak with you, she would have summoned you.”
“But since he can’t make it, surely she’d rather speak to somepony?”
The soldier bared his teeth in a venomous snarl. “It is not your place to question the queen’s orders, traitor. She does not wish to speak to anyone but Nictis. Leave.” With that, he resumed his previous stance, although with a distinct scowl to his expression.
Sky’s eyes widened in surprise at the hostility of the other changeling. Sure, he had expected some displeasure, particularly after listening to how much Nictis had worried about “turning away from the hive,” but he hadn’t expected it to be quite so aggressive, particularly not when the other changeling could sense his own lack of hostility.
“Can’t you at least ask her?” he asked, but his question was met only with a slight narrowing of the soldier’s eyes and a fresh surge of irritation. Sky stared back for several seconds as his own expression slowly changed to an irritated glare before snorting and turning away. His hooves struck the ground angrily with every step as he made his way down the hall and out of sight.
“Well that was a complete waste of time,” he grumbled to himself. “Those stuck up little… guh. Stupid Chrysalis.” He snorted and shook his head, pointedly ignoring the anxious looks a couple of the castle staff gave at the sight of an angry changeling muttering to himself.
“You know what? Forget it. I don’t need to deal with her. I’ve got other stuff I could be doing, too.” He turned off down a different hallway, wings buzzing in agitation. “...Now where did Rainbow Dash get off to?”
With every step, the nervous weight in Nictis’s gut grew a little heavier, and it had nothing to do with the occasional sidelong glance or feelings of unease that sparsely peppered the Canterlot crowd. Already, the vaguely remembered city was turning to a more recognizable neighborhood. Streets began to turn in familiar ways between buildings that increasingly stood out in his memory. The nervousness grew to a peak at the sight of a very familiar apartment building. It was all building to the inevitable confrontation, the meeting he desired so much, and yet dreaded the possibility of. The meeting that would decide his future--or at least, the part of it he cared about the most.
He had only visited the place once, several years ago, but when he stepped into the entryway, it seemed completely unchanged. He followed his memory as it lead him through the courtyard, up a set of stairs, and down along an open-air hallway.
Finally he found himself faced with a simple door. One final obstacle, facing him, challenging him. He stared at it, distantly recalling another door that had once stood before him. Once again, he found himself a lost and lonely changeling, facing an uncertain future hidden behind a simple door.
After an uneasy minute of staring and slowly building up his courage, he raised a hoof and knocked. A few moments later he heard the sound of hooves approaching, and then the door opened. Cotton looked to him, and immediately broke into a wide smile. “It’s you! I was worrying you might not be able to make it tonight.”
Before he could reply, she called out over his shoulder. “Hey guys, he’s here! Give me a minute.”
“Guys?” Nictis asked as she stepped out to join him, shutting the door.
“Good to see you’re as quick as I remembered you,” Cotton said, and stepped forward to wrap him in a tight hug. When she released him, her smile slipped a bit. “Before you go in, though, there’s something you should probably know.”
The weight in his stomach grew heavier, his heart beating hard with the twinge of adrenaline that the ominous statement produced. “What’s that?”
“Um…” She shuffled her hooves, drew in a deep breath, and then simply said, “Bigs is here.”
Nictis’s eyes widened a touch, ears perking up to full alert. So many different thoughts and fears spun through his head, but he reined in his reply to a flat “What?”
“Yeah,” Cotton said, giving an awkward smile. “And they’re, um… kinda friends, too.”
Nictis stared at her as if she had just sprouted a second head. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
He blinked, mouth working silently for a few moments before finally producing words. “What? How? Why?”
Cotton shook her head. “You’d have to ask them. I’m a little fuzzy on it myself.”
“But… Bigs? Seriously?” Nictis sputtered for a few moments as a frenzy of objections rushed through his head. “But he’s a jerk! He was always tormenting Spark! How could they be friends?”
He was met with a flat look from Cotton. “You didn’t really think that out very well, did you?”
Nictis sank to his haunches, ears pinning back. “That’s different,” he said, followed by immediately placing a hoof over his face. “Okay, that sounded really pathetic…”
A bit of a smile returned to Cotton’s face. “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you like this, before.” When he moved his hoof to give her a curious look, she smiled more. “Flustered. You always seemed so perfectly in-control of the situation. Even when things were going wrong, you were always so precise and measured.” The smile faltered again. “And confident.”
“I had to be,” Nictis replied quietly, letting his hoof fall back to the ground. “That’s how I was taught. Social encounters were battles. Words were weapons. I had to carefully weigh every single word I use, to influence ponies exactly how I wanted. It was all about how to twist the truth to my benefit.”
“But, then why do…” She trailed off, a thoughtful look crossing her face before tilting her head and giving a skeptical look. “What, you’re worried that thinking about what you’re going to say is dishonest or something?”
“You mean measuring exactly what I say to get exactly the result I want?” he said. “Yeah. I’ve already caused enough damage that way.”
She stared at him for a moment while fighting back a smile, and finally gave in, sitting beside him to loop a foreleg over his shoulder. “You know, Niccy… you’re really dumb sometimes.”
His frown and half-hearted glare brought out a giggle from her. “Seriously. Being honest doesn’t mean blurting out the first thing that comes to mind without putting any thought into it.”
Nictis grumbled faintly.
“Really,” Cotton said. “Especially now. Spark’s going to see you for the first time in a year. You should really put some thought into what you say.”
“Sounds like you’re telling me to lie to him,” Nictis muttered, and Cotton gave a little squeeze.
“No, I’m not, and you better not lie to him. I know you two are going to have to talk about some painful things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t choose how and when to talk about them. Just… go gentle on him, okay?”
He looked up to her smiling face, and after a moment, managed a small nod in reply. “Yeah, of course.” He sighed. “And, um… thanks for the heads up about Bigs.”
She laughed as she stood, offering a hoof to help him up. “Hey, no problem. I’m sure there’d be some great sadistic humor in letting you stumble in on him without any warning, but I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I did that, now would I? Now come on, let’s get in there!”
She opened the door and walked in, and he followed, heart pounding. He held his head low, ears back, hoping that the display might make him seem less threatening. Spark may not have even seen a changeling face-to-face before, and he had more reason to feel threatened than most.
A small entryway gave one last moment of hesitation before he stepped into Cotton’s small living room. It was even more cluttered and lived-in than his last visit, but he hardly made note of any of that. He barely even noticed the white stallion who sat at one end of the couch, or the generally negative feelings coming from him. His attention was drawn entirely to the pony sitting half-curled-up on the other side of the couch.
Nictis froze at the sight of Spark, not moving a muscle while Cotton practically hopped over to one of the two chairs in the room. He was struck by the sudden surge of emotions coming from the young stallion. There was some excitement, sure, but there was also fear, sadness, and perhaps just a touch of anger. Even having expected such emotions did little to soften the pain of it. He looked decent enough at first, well-groomed and all, but it felt hollow. Nictis was quite familiar with disguises, after all, and he couldn’t help but note a few fine details slipping through. Spark’s mane had always been a bit messy, but not quite so much as it was right then, and the fiery-orange color seemed to have lost some of its vibrance. His charcoal coat seemed a bit frazzled and unkempt, without the sleekness Nictis remembered. He’d always been a bit on the skinny side, but even after a year’s separation, Nictis thought he looked leaner than he remembered. Worst, though, was the slackness in Spark’s body, even as he tensed up at the sight of the changeling entering the room. Nictis had seen Spark sad many times before, but it had only been the very worst times when he had looked so weakened and resigned: the very few times when he had completely given up. The look in his eyes completed the picture; the golden eyes looked back to Nictis, but even as they widened slightly at the sight of him, they seemed dulled.
Seeing Spark in such a state brought about a fresh stab of guilt.
Nictis only belatedly realized that he had been standing there, silently staring, for an uncomfortably long time. His voice came weakly when he spoke. “Hello.”
He saw Spark’s ears twitch faintly, and felt his awkwardness rise. Despite that, Spark replied, though only quietly. “Hi.”
After another moment’s hesitation, Nictis made his way over to the vacant chair and sat, tucking his legs in close beneath him, his muzzle turned down; anything to look less threatening. A long, awkward silence followed, which Nictis spent alternating between looking hopefully to Spark and looking down to the floor in an attempt to show the contrition the pony couldn’t otherwise sense from him, with the occasional uneasy glance toward the nearby but silent bulk of Big Shot.
Cotton, meanwhile, spent the whole time looking expectantly back and forth between Nictis and Spark.
As the uneasy feelings from Spark began to mount, Nictis knew it was up to him to break the ice. He kept his voice soft and quiet, knowing that his voice must sound completely alien to what Spark would remember of him. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Y-yeah,” Spark replied automatically, his eyes slowly roaming over Nictis’s form. His ears folded back as he realized what he’d said, and he awkwardly added, “I mean… not again, I guess. Because… um, you know…”
Nictis nodded slightly, ears drooping in apology. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”
There was another pause as Spark looked back, full of unease. He finally drew in a slow breath, visibly steeling himself before finally forcing the words out, his voice sounding thin and tiny. “You’ve said that a lot in your letters, but… you never said why. Why did you… back at the orphanage...?”
Nictis winced. The question was inevitable, he knew, but that made it no more pleasant to face. He’d at least hoped there might be some more pleasant conversation before turning to such serious matters, but that seemed foolishly optimistic in hindsight. It took a moment before he managed to reply. “I was scared,” he said. “I was lost and alone. I didn’t know if I’d ever see another changeling, or if I’d be stranded here forever. I had to survive, and that meant I needed food. You were the most friendly to me, enough that I didn’t have to worry about starving, but then I learned that you might be going away, and… and I was scared.
“At the hive, it was always said that other species were something inferior, good for nothing but food. It’s not really something that anyling questions, it’s just assumed that it’s how things are. I’d been taught for years how to take the love of other species to feed the hive. It was just… how things were.” His head drooped further, chin coming to rest atop his hooves. “So when I was worried that I might lose my source of food, I did what I could to keep it. It wasn’t until years later that I started to think differently, but by then… well, I couldn’t go back and undo the past.”
Even though he must have expected it to some degree, his words still brought a fresh wave of pain and sadness from Spark. “So I was just food?”
“At first,” Nictis dully replied. “But that changed. Eventually.”
Spark hesitated, eying him carefully. Nictis could sense a touch of hope from him, but as Spark glanced over to Bigs, it abruptly faded. “And what about him?” Spark asked as he looked back to Nictis. “All those things Bigs says you did. He was really telling the truth, wasn’t he?”
If Nictis had been able to curl up any smaller, he would have. “I… I don’t know what all he’s said I’ve done,” he replied, “but yes, probably.”
“So you just… you really threatened to kill him?” Spark asked, his voice growing more strained. “How could you do that? Why?”
Nictis’s head rose at the question, his response coming immediately. “Because he hurt you.”
A flash of anger came from Bigs, the stallion tensing, but it was Spark who spoke, and spoke loudly. “You ruined my chances of adoption for years, but you were going to kill him because he was a jerk?”
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Nictis said, his head drawing back almost reflexively at the anger he sensed. “Yes, I only thought of ponies as food back then, but changelings only feed on positive emotions. I did what I thought I had to do to keep you around, and… and it was wrong, I know that now. But I still wanted you as happy as possible, even if it was for selfish reasons back then.” He turned his eyes to Bigs, unable to restrain himself from leveling a glare at the stallion. “But he just wanted to hurt you so he could feel better about himself. I wish I could say I did it for selfless reasons, but back then, all I cared about was that he was messing with my food, so I made sure to stop him.”
It was then that Bigs finally decided to speak. “And the other time?”
Nictis’s glare vanished, his ears drooping once again. “That was… that was wrong.” He shifted uneasily, fighting the urge to buzz his wings in anxiety. “I even knew it at the time. When I had a chance to calm down, I almost came back to apologize.”
Bigs frowned. “Sure.”
Nictis scowled, despite himself. “It wasn’t for you,” he said sharply. “It was for Spark. He wouldn’t have liked me doing that.” Realizing how that might sound, he hesitated, reluctantly trying to come up with a better way of phrasing it that didn’t feel dishonestly manipulative. “What I mean is, I didn’t like the idea of having done something he would disapprove of, even something I thought he’d never know of. I’d already done far too much of that.”
“Yeah, you cared so much that you constantly lied to him to get what you wanted.” Bigs snorted. “You’re only telling him any of this now because you got found out.”
Nictis tensed up, jaw tightening despite his attempts to remain calm. “I didn’t like lying to him,” he shot back. “But I couldn’t tell him any of that, because that would mean telling him what I was. I couldn’t just risk the entire hive for… for myself.”
“Convenient,” Bigs said.
Nictis was just opening his mouth to make an angry reply to that, but Spark spoke first. “Bigs,” was all he said, his voice quiet and pained, but that was all it took to silence the larger stallion.
As another awkward silence threatened to develop, Nictis spoke again, his voice surprisingly weak even in his own ears. “I miss you.”
Spark shrank back a little, and Nictis could sense another glimmer of hope behind the fear and sadness. “You’re the first pony I ever cared about,” he continued. “I still care about you, more than anyone else, pony or changeling. Even myself.”
Spark opened his mouth, wavered for a few moments, and shut it again, and Nictis slowly sank in place until his chin once again rested on his hooves. “I really do,” he said, even quieter. “I’d give anything just to see you happy again.”
“Anything, huh?” Bigs said, earning him an uneasy glance from both Nictis and Spark, but he said nothing more.
Nictis turned his eyes down to the floor. “For… for changelings, we’re raised with the idea that the hive is everything. We’re all part of the greater whole. Our entire worth is what we contribute to the hive. I was being trained to be an Infiltrator, so I could help feed the hive. It’s probably the most important role a changeling drone can have. It was the greatest thing I could ever imagine happening to me.
“And then I got stranded here.” His wings flickered at the memory. “My mentor was dead. I had no idea how to get home, or find any other changelings. I was separated from the hive, useless. For years, my entire goal in life was to grow stronger, so I could one day make my way home, to finally… to have a purpose in life again.”
He looked up again to meet Spark’s eyes. “That expedition I was planning? That’s how I was going to get home.”
Confusion crossed Spark’s face, the unease and sadness muted as his mind focused on a new puzzle. “But… you called it off.”
“I did, because you wanted to go with me,” he said, casting his eyes down again. “When I said that I knew nopony would be coming back from the trip, well… it was true, but it wasn’t really honest. Nopony would be coming back because the hive couldn’t risk allowing even the slightest bit of evidence to suggest its existence. I needed ponies to come with me so I wouldn’t starve while I searched for the hive, like I almost had before. I didn’t even think anything of it at the time. They were ‘just ponies.’
“But that changed when you asked to go with me. You weren’t ‘just a pony.’ I liked you. You were smart, you could be really witty when you tried, and you weren’t weird like some ponies could be. You were a pony I could respect. I actually… I liked it when you were happy. It made me feel happy, too.
“I could have taken you with me,” he said, though he shuddered slightly as he did. “But then you’d be… imprisoned. Or I could refuse. I knew how sad it would make you, but I thought it’d be worth it to make sure you stayed free. But then… then I had to see how sad it made you. It was horrible, and it was even worse because it was all my fault. So I called it off. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but... I was willing to never see the hive again if it made you happy.”
He sank a little lower in the chair, quietly adding, “Then I went and screwed it all up, anyway.”
Spark looked almost as miserable as Nictis did, his eyes watering as he quietly spoke. “So… all those months where you were moping about, that’s what it was really about?”
Nictis nodded. “And I couldn’t even tell you why, because that would mean telling you what I was.”
A tear started to make its way down Spark’s cheek. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw and weak. “I miss Meadow.”
Nictis found it hard to speak past the tightness in his throat. “So do I.”
For a moment they sat silently. Spark was trembling faintly as more tears formed, the flood of emotions flowing from him growing even more jumbled and confused. He shakily wiped a hoof across his cheek, and a second later he pushed himself from the couch, stumbled forward, and practically collapsed into Nictis, wrapping his forelegs around him in a desperate hug. Nictis clutched to Spark, burying his muzzle against the softness of Spark’s neck, a once-familiar sensation turned alien as his hard chitin met Spark’s soft coat. They held each other tight as Spark quietly sobbed.
Nictis wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. At some point, Cotton and Bigs had slipped off to the kitchen to give them what little privacy could be had in the small apartment; considering that the kitchen was divided from the living room only by a bit of countertop, it was more symbolic than effective. The only sign of time passing was the gradual quieting of Spark’s sobbing, his body slowly relaxing in Nictis’s grip.
He was jarred from the quiet embrace by a surge of fear and concern as Spark drew back, a hoof planted against Nictis’s chest. He babbled a few incoherent words, something that vaguely sounded like an apology, and then quickly pulled himself away to run past the kitchen, and the pair of rather surprised ponies inside it. He disappeared down the hallway, followed shortly by the sound of the bedroom door shutting.
Spark was gone again.
Nictis had risen to his hooves to follow, calling out Spark’s name, but staggered to a stop a few steps later; chasing after Spark when he was already full of fear couldn’t possibly go well. Cotton and Bigs looked on in surprise, and then simultaneously moved to follow Spark. “I’m going to go check on him,” Cotton said quickly; being the closer of the two, she hurried back after him, while Bigs came to a halt.
Then he turned on Nictis. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything!” Nictis exclaimed, reflexively taking a step back from the sudden source of anger.
“Then what happened?”
“I don’t know!” The realization of who he was talking with--not to mention the absurd nature of the conversation that seemed in complete opposition to the natural order of things--started to poke at his temper, but he did his best to hold it in check. “Everything was fine, then he got this big surge of anxiety, panicked, and ran off. I don’t know why.”
Bigs frowned. “Just like that, huh?”
“Yeah, just like that,” Nictis shot back, a bit more sharply than intended. He sat, looking back to the hallway Spark had disappeared down--and just as importantly, away from Bigs. It did nothing to block out the scorn and suspicion the pony felt for him, but at least he didn’t have to look at his face.
The uncomfortable but relatively peaceful silence managed to last a whole minute before Bigs ruined it by speaking again. “Look,” he said, “I know Spark is holding out hope, but I still don’t entirely trust you. This better not be some sort of trick.”
“Seriously?” Nictis snapped, turning a glare on Bigs. “You spent years intentionally trying to make his life miserable, and now you’re turning around and trying to play as his protector? Why are you even here?”
Bigs bristled. “Well maybe something gave us some common ground.”
Nictis snorted. “Oh yeah, because you always seemed like such a paragon of empathy. I don’t know why you’re here, Bigs, but I don’t trust you, either.”
“I’m here because he’s my friend,” Bigs shot back, “even if you can’t wrap your self-centered little brain around that. He was scared of meeting you on his own. That’s why I’m here, you--”
He was interrupted by a pink hoof punching him solidly in the shoulder, which brought Nictis a bare instant of satisfaction before the gesture was repeated on his own shoulder, hard enough to sting despite his carapace.
“Seriously, guys?” Cotton hissed. “Spark’s in there pretty much having a panic attack, and you two dorks think now is the right time to start yelling at each other?”
Both Bigs and Nictis looked back at her in shock, which was quickly being replaced with looks of guilt. At least Nictis could tell she wasn’t angry with him. Upset, yes, but not really angry, despite what his shoulder might say on the matter.
Bigs glanced back at Nictis. “I was just making sure--”
Whatever else he was going to say was silenced when a cookie, one of the many snacks littered around the kitchen, was suddenly propelled into his mouth. When Nictis unwisely opened his mouth, another cookie was abruptly crammed into it at an unpleasantly high velocity, leaving him staggering back and coughing while trying not to spray bits of cookie--oatmeal raisin, it turned out--around the room.
Cotton glared at them both, a third cookie floating up in the purple glow of her magic. Despite the threatening look, she kept her voice quiet. “I swear to Celestia, the next one of you that starts fighting, I’m going to throw you out to the street, and you won’t be going by the stairs. Got it?”
They both nodded, though Nictis had a bit of difficulty controlling his coughing. He was pretty sure he’d just lodged a chunk of oatmeal in his sinus.
“Good,” Cotton said, lowering the cookie. “Now, it’s late, Spark’s pretty overwhelmed, and he needs some time to calm down and think, so we’re done for the night. We can pick this up in the morning. Bigs, he wanted to talk to you, so…” She grabbed his foreleg and lifted it to place the cookie in his hoof, then grabbed him by the shoulder and haunches, spun him around, and shoved him toward the hallway. He staggered on three legs, gave a rather confused glare back at her, and finally continued on down the hall.
Cotton continued to watch the corner for a few seconds after he left, before finally getting a satisfied grin. “Huh. I didn’t think I’d actually be able to get away with doing that.”
With Bigs out of sight, the surge of anger that had gripped Nictis vanished, and his ears drooped apologetically. Swallowing what was left of the cookie, he started to say, “Sorry about--”
Her grin vanished as she turned on him. “And you, really? You should know better than anypony what this is doing to Spark, and you still get in a shouting match out here?”
For a moment, Nictis wanted to say he wasn’t he wasn’t shouting, but he immediately thought better of it. Semantics seemed rather unimportant at the moment. Instead, he awkwardly repeated, “Sorry.”
He was surprised when, rather than delivering more chastisement, she stepped up to give him a hug. It was unexpected enough that he simply stood there, frozen. “I know this must be pretty hard on you, too,” she said, and as the words registered, he finally relaxed.
“Yeah,” he said quietly, raising a leg to give her a gentle squeeze in return. “I just… I don’t know. Is Spark okay?”
“He’ll be fine,” she said as she released him. “He just needs some time off to get some sleep and recover. Heck, you know him, some time to think will do him some good.”
“Eh,” Nictis sighed, rather less optimistically, and then frowned. “I’d kind of hoped our reunion would have been a bit… well, more. I barely got to see him.”
“Honestly, I’m kind of surprised he lasted this long. It’s kind of late, and he’s been wound tight all day long.”
Nictis slumped slightly. “Was he that afraid of meeting with me?”
“I was going to say ‘anxious,’” she replied. “He kept swinging back and forth between excited and worried. He seemed most worried when I told him you couldn’t come right away. Even if he was anxious about it, he’s been looking forward to this for a while.”
“And then I come, and I barely get to see him before I have to go,” Nictis grumbled.
“You don’t have to go,” Cotton said with a smile. “I know it’s not the biggest place, but as long as you and Bigs promise not to strangle each other in the middle of the night, you’re welcome to stay here.”
Nictis hesitated a moment before replying. “I’m not sure if Spark would be entirely comfortable with that,” he said, sadly. “Besides, I need to get back to the castle. Apparently I have a bunch of responsibilities all of a sudden.”
She smiled sadly. “Well, can I walk you back, then? It’s been a while, would be nice to do some catching up.”
Nictis managed a weak smile before nodding. “Sure.”
He stepped outside while Cotton went back to write out a quick note explaining their absence. He folded his forelegs across the railing of the open hallway, overlooking the softly lit courtyard below. The sun had fully set now, while a cool breeze softly wafted between the buildings. It was calm and peaceful for the moment, with the only movement to be seen being a pair of pegasus guards banking into a gentle turn far above. Even as night descended, the guard was still out in force, because of…
He sighed, head sinking to the railing. He stared glumly down into the courtyard, lost in thought until he was brought back by the sound of the door clicking shut. A moment later Cotton stepped up beside him, her feelings of concern clear in his senses.
“You know, I might not be all that familiar with changelings just yet,” she said, “but you look really sad.”
Nictis stepped back from the railing, consciously trying to stand a little more firmly, ears raised attentively, but it was a half-hearted attempt. He looked to Cotton’s sad smile and deflated slightly, knowing he wasn’t fooling anyone. “...It’s just been a really long day.”
Cotton nodded as she leaned in, her shoulder pressing supportingly to his. “Looks like Spark isn’t the only one who could use some rest,” she said, then tilted her head in the direction of the stairs. “Come on. Let’s get you back to the castle, and you can tell me all about it on the way.”
With another little nudge, Nictis finally got on his way, with Cotton pacing alongside him. Even with his depressed mood, there was something comforting about having Cotton there, and he soon found himself speaking without quite meaning to. “I just… I wanted things to work out so badly,” he said as he drug his hooves along. “I hoped so much that maybe everything would be just fine, that maybe we could go back to how things are. I couldn’t help it. I wanted it so much, but I was just being naive.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” Cotton said, bumping her shoulder against his. “Yeah, it won’t go so perfectly smoothly, and it might take a bit of time, but it’ll all work out in the end.”
“I’m… not quite so confident,” Nictis murmured. More clearly, he said, “But I couldn’t help hoping for it. Especially after I saw things go so well for other changelings.”
“Oh?” Cotton curiously prompted.
“Yeah, it’s…” He frowned. “It’s kind of a long story.”
“Well, it’s kind of a long walk,” Cotton said with a growing smile. “And besides, I love stories!”
Nictis sighed again, though the corners of his mouth twitched upward for a moment. He hesitated a moment as they stepped out onto the street, slowly looking around. Even with the sun set, the city was still alive, if subdued. The ponies had thinned out greatly, but a fair number still wandered the streets. The city itself was gently lit, just enough for ponies to go about comfortably without chasing the night away with glaring light. To Nictis, it was soft and comforting.
They turned to walk down the street, and Nictis finally spoke again. “Okay, you know who Sky is, right?”
“Of course,” Cotton replied with a nod.
“Okay,” Nictis said, keeping his voice as even as he could despite the emotions lingering in the background of his mind. “So Sky has this fancy official position that basically doesn’t mean anything most of the time, but there are times it does. One of those times is when somepony is suspected of being a changeling. If evidence turns up that seems to conclude that somepony is actually a changeling, it goes through him. Officially it’s so that he can double check the information before it goes to the Guard, but really… well, it’s so he can go talk to them first.
“He usually brings me along. Sky can be… excessively optimistic, but even he knows that having some support can help. Fortunately, it’s never come to violence, even the two times we turned up loyal Infiltrators. Most of the time I just end up standing there, feeling awkward, and dreading what we might be doing to someling who might just want a nice, quiet life.
“We’re discreet. Neither of us want to ruin anyling’s life, but we do understand why such suspicions have to be investigated. The Infiltrators we’ve turned up have shown that, and Celestia has good intentions in prompting the few friendly changelings that have remained in hiding to be more open. Sky and I don’t quite agree on the subject, but we still understand it. So we do a little investigating, to find the best time to approach them. That way, nopony finds out their secret.
“The idea was that, if they have to be revealed, they can at least reveal themselves on their own terms. Most of the times it works fine, but…” He shook his head. “There was this one time. We’d found a changeling, Turquoise, living with a mare. They were a couple. We waited until she left for work, then went to talk to him. The moment he opened the door, he knew. They always do. Why else would Celestia’s changeling advisor show up at their door? Some panic, still worried that Equestria is going to punish them. Some insist that they’re not changelings. But him, he just got this defeated look, like he knew it was all hopeless.”
Nictis glanced over to Cotton, who gave a soft, encouraging smile. “Anyway,” he continued, “he let us in, and we started talking, but we didn’t get far. We’d only just started when the door opened and his marefriend walked in. She’d secretly taken the day off to surprise him with a gift, and instead walks in on him having an awkward conversation with a couple changelings.”
“I just locked up,” he admitted. “Sky surprised me, though. He immediately explained that we were investigating some suspected changelings, then asked her if she’d seen any unusual behavior at her work. I was kind of impressed with him, actually. It was quick thinking, and a good way of diverting suspicion.”
He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know if it would have worked, though. Turquoise stopped him, and just… told her everything. All I could do is watch as he went on, with her looking completely lost by it all. The only thing she said, at first, was to ask what he really looked like, and he showed her. I was so sure it was all going to fall apart, that I’d just helped ruin someling else’s relationship, and then she steps up and hugs him. She was okay with it. Heck, I think she was happy about it, about how he’d chosen her above anything else in the world.”
Nictis’s head drooped, eyes turning down to the street slowly passing beneath his hooves. “I don’t know, maybe I just hoped this would go as well as it did for him. I know better, but still…”
“Hey, don’t be so gloomy about it,” Cotton said, leaning in to bump her shoulder against his. “Yeah, it’s not going to just magically get better, but it’ll work out. I know you could tell how happy he was to have you back.”
“Oh, yes,” he grumbled. “So happy he ran off and locked himself in a different room. Do you have any idea what fear and sadness taste like?”
She frowned a little at that. “I know I might not be able to sense emotions the same way you can, but that doesn’t mean ponies are completely blind. Are you really going to tell me there wasn’t any happiness in him when he hugged you?”
“Ehh,” he replied in a grumble, thinking of the panic and fear that had followed. As they continued to walk down the sparsely populated street, his thoughts turned back to another changeling. “I should have been more happy for him. Turquoise. He’d had his secrets revealed and his marefriend loved him more than ever. Instead, I was jealous. I’d had everything fall apart in my life, I should have been more sympathetic, but instead I was upset that it went so much better for him than it did for me.” He scuffed a hoof against the street in a half-hearted kick. “Maybe I just don’t deserve Spark.”
His attention was drawn back as Cotton groaned, and he looked over to see her fixing him with a glare. “No,” she said, firmly. “Stop that. Am I going to have to get a newspaper to roll up and thwack you on the snout every time you start getting mopey? Because I’ll totally do it.”
He frowned back at her. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I,” she retorted, though a grin was beginning to show through her glare. “Spark didn’t fall for you because of your secret dark brooding skills, as impressive as they may be. He fell for you because you were smart, confident, caring, and completely in love with him, whether you knew it or not.” She paused a moment, her grin growing as she got a thoughtful look. “Well, that and Meadow was drop-dead gorgeous, but I guess you’ve got the ‘exotic’ thing going for you now.”
Nictis snorted. “That wasn’t me,” he said, looking away. “Meadow was an act. What do you really know about me? What does he? Neither of--”
Cotton cut him off, her voice surprisingly sharp. “Oh, I know plenty about you, Niccy.” He looked back to see her fixing him with a surprisingly hard glare, her grin turned smug. “After the invasion fiasco, my whole unit got called back to Canterlot to help out with repairs. Half our logistics were taken care of just by being here, so it was easy enough to get some time off. After all, I had a friend that had just disappeared.” She raised her hoof again and prodded him firmly in the shoulder. “So I went and did some digging. A lot of digging. I found out all about you.”
Nictis leaned away, giving her a wary look. “You mean you found out about Meadow.”
“No, I mean you,” she said, stepping in front of him. He staggered to a stop, then drew back a bit as she prodded him again, this time in the chest. “You just disappeared, leaving all of us worrying and wondering what happened to you. I didn’t know what to think, so I went looking, and I was thorough. I spent a few days backtracking through your life, all the places you’d lived. I talked to ponies who had met you. Over the next month, I talked with even more through the mail. Oh, they told me such interesting stories.” She leaned in closer, eyes narrowing. “You want to hear some of them?”
Despite the lack of any hostility in her feelings, Nictis hesitantly took a step back. The faint satisfaction he could sense from her was concerning enough. When he didn’t immediately answer, Cotton continued on. “How about we start with Merry Skies. Do you remember her?”
The name tickled something in the back of Nictis’s memory, but he couldn’t quite put a face to it. He hesitantly shook his head.
“Ah, just another forgotten name in your secret little rampage through Equestria,” she said smugly. “She remembers you.” She punctuated the statement with another chest-prod. “Oh, does she remember you. She remembers your devious little scheme to spend a whole week of your spare time rebuilding her home so she and her children would have a home to live in when theirs was lost.”
As he finally made the connection, he scowled at Cotton. “Oh, come on, I’m trying to be serious.”
“So am I!” she retorted, though her glare had lost its intensity. “I went through your past, and everywhere I turned, there was another pony with a happy story about how you spent so much time and effort to help them. How you’d be there every day, working harder than anypony else, even spending some of your own bits to make sure things turned out right. Charity just about broke down crying, going on about how you’d been like a gift from Celestia, and how hard things were going to be without you.”
Nictis winced at that, then turned away. “And did they tell you how I was manipulating it all just to make Bigs look bad?”
“Yep,” Cotton replied, her smug grin growing a bit more when he blinked in surprise. “Yeah, I talked with him, too. He told me all about the funding requests you made, and how he figured out that you wrote them up to intentionally be rejected, just so he’d look like some evil bureaucrat while you swept in to save the day.” Her glare returned. “And you know, that was kind of a little despicable, Niccy.” Then she shrugged, the glare vanishing as quick as it came. “But I figure you made up for that with the next four years, and it’s not as if you didn’t help them, anyway.”
“Of course I helped them,” he grumbled. “I needed food. It wasn’t some selfless generosity, I helped them because I got something out of it.”
“Well, yeah, so?” She shrugged again. “It’s not like ponies are any different.”
He frowned. “Last I checked, ponies don’t eat other ponies’ happy feelings.”
Cotton snorted out a short laugh. “Oh, sure, but that’s not what I mean! I mean, helping out others because it helps yourself isn’t something dark and selfish. You and I basically do the same thing, you know.”
Nictis cocked his head to the side, an eyebrow raised in a questioning look. “How in the world do you figure that?”
“Easy!” she replied. “You helped out ponies because it made them happy, because you wanted to see them happy, because that gave you food, because that made you happy. I help out ponies because it makes them happy, because I wanted to see them happy, because that makes me happy.” She stood back, smiling smugly. “See? My logic is perfect, you can’t question it.”
“That… no.” Nictis shook his head. “You can’t just leave out the ‘feeding on them’ part. That’s kind of a big deal.”
Again, she prodded him in the chest. “I said you can’t question it,” Cotton said with mock severity, before lightening up again. “Besides, I get paid for my job. How do you think I get food?”
Nictis started to open his mouth to reply, but nothing came out, drawing a giggle from Cotton.
“So yeah, I get food out of ponies every bit as much as you do,” she said with a shrug. “Anyway, it all comes down to what makes us happy. Even the most selfless pony does what they do because they think it’s the right thing to do, and doing the right thing makes them happy. Getting a free, harmless meal out of it doesn’t change that.”
Nictis’s eyes widened, and he swept a leg back in the vague direction of her apartment. “You call that harmless?”
“I’d say you did a lot more good than harm,” she replied. “Yeah, you’ve done a few stupid things, but you’re not as bad as you seem determined to paint yourself. You can argue and say we can’t be sure about who you really are, but you’re wrong. You know why?”
He scowled, biting back a sarcastic retort.
“Because you could have come here and done anything. You could have tried to worm your way into political power, or taken over a business. You could have used all sorts of changeling tricks to ruin any competition. Hay, you were a knock-out, you could have easily been a top-notch model or actress. You could have been rich and famous, admired by thousands.” She smiled. “Instead, you decided to help ponies.”
His scowl died as he looked away again. “Or I’m just utterly incompetent at being an Infiltrator.”
She raised a hoof and rapped it sharply atop Nictis’s nose, drawing a surprised yelp as he stepped back, covering his snout with his own hoof. “Hey!”
“I don’t have any newspaper,” Cotton said with a shrug. “And you know, if that’s not good enough, how about this?” She leaned in close, a sly smile spreading across her face. “You could have had anypony you wanted. You could have sidled up to some noble to gain political influence. You could have seduced some celebrity and lived a life of fame and luxury. Ponies who didn’t know you saw a gorgeous and graceful mare, one who’d turn heads just by walking into a room. Those who did know you knew that you were kind and compassionate, every bit as pretty on the inside as you were on the outside. You could have had any of them.”
She moved in even closer, her nose bumping into his. “Heck, I’m really not the ‘couples’ type, but I’d have made a move on you myself if you and Spark weren’t a couple.”
Nictis’s ears pinned back as he drew away, eyes widening at both the admission and the subtle, but very present, feeling of affection he felt from her. That feeling was followed by a rush of amusement as she glanced around, then stepped up beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and conspiratorially stage-whispered, “Just between the two of us, I think you made the right decision.”
“Um…”
“Anyway,” Cotton said, continuing on as if nothing had been said, “you didn’t do any of that. Instead, you go for an orphaned young stallion whose only significance was a rather sharp mind. If you just wanted food, you could get that and more from so many other ponies. You chose Spark because you like him. That’s how I know who you really are, Niccy.”
With that, she flashed him a smug grin, turned, and resumed the walk toward the castle. He hesitated for a few moments before following after her. “Okay, fine,” he grumbled. “I don’t entirely agree with you, but I guess you’ve got some good reasons.”
“Hah!” She said smugly. “Of course I do. Though I can’t really claim the credit. Spark’s the one who said all that.”
Nictis nearly tripped over his own hooves, ears perked straight up. “He did?”
“Told you he’s sharp,” she said smugly, gaining a bit of a happy bounce in her step. “Yes, he’s afraid, and he’s spent a lot of time worrying, but that also means he’s spent a lot of time thinking about it. He’s smart enough to see what was really going on.”
“I hope you’re right,” Nictis murmured.
They continued on in silence, once again side-by-side. There were no crowds to weave through, or any other distractions to disturb them. It was almost a minute before Cotton spoke again. “So why do you do all this, anyway?”
Nictis looked over to her curiously. “Do what?”
“Earlier, you were trying to convince Spark that you’re a good pony--uh, changeling,” she quickly corrected. “Now with me, who does think you’re good, you’re trying to convince me that you’re not.”
“I’m not--”
She cut him off with a wave of her hoof. “Okay, that you might not be. Whatever. You still didn’t answer the question.”
Nictis hesitated, frowning, and finally grumbled, “I don’t know.”
Cotton gave a sad smile. “Is it just because you feel guilty?”
He looked away, ears drooping again. “Maybe.”
“Well stop it,” she said with a soft chuckle. “Seriously, you’re not going to convince anypony who knows you. It’s just going to get annoying.”
Nictis just snorted in reply.
She glanced back to him, smiling. “Was that a laugh?”
“No,” he said.
“Because it sounded like a laugh,” she said in a light, teasing tone.
“It wasn’t,” he grumbled.
“Mmm-hmm.”
He just sighed rather than trying to argue the point any further.
Cotton hummed a moment before speaking again. “So anyway, enough of the past. What kind of stuff are you doing now?”
“Eh, not much,” he said. “Living in Ponyville with Sky and a bunch of other changelings. Mostly I’ve been helping them adapt to living in Equestria, settling in, that sort of thing.”
“So, helping others,” Cotton said with a smug smile.
“...But of course, you already knew that,” Nictis said with a sigh, while Cotton giggled softly.
“So we’ll be seeing you tomorrow?” Cotton asked, switching gears so seamlessly that Nictis took a moment to catch up.
“...Uh, I guess so. I mean, I hope so.” He frowned again as he looked up to the sight of the castle’s towers looming above them, faintly lit by the dwindling twilight. His steps slowed at the sight, and the knowledge of what awaited him there.
Cotton chuckled softly. “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone looking so unhappy at the prospect a spending a night at the castle.”
He grumbled as they rounded a corner, the castle gate coming into view up ahead. “I’m just really not looking forward to dealing with Chrysalis.”
Cotton stumbled so hard that she nearly face-planted on the cobblestone street. “Wait, what?” she blurted, turning on him. “Chrysalis? As in Queen Chrysalis? The changeling queen?” She grabbed him by the shoulders. “I thought you didn’t have any contact with the hive!”
“I don’t!” he said quickly, the urge to backpedal spoiled by her grip. “She just showed up at court today!”
“What? But… she…” Cotton sputtered for a few moments, then forced herself to stop. Her hooves slid from his shoulders to return to the ground, but not before giving him another poke in the chest. “Okay. Explain.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “She came into court, dropped her disguise, insulted Celestia for a few minutes, and said she was there to negotiate. That’s pretty much it.”
“Okay,” Cotton said with a nod. Then she raised her hoof and thumped him in the center of his chest. “And why didn’t you tell any of us this before?”
He scowled, raising a hoof to rub at where she had struck. “It was the middle of Celestia’s court, with a few hundred ponies present. I think the whole city knows by now!”
“Oh, well,” she said, ears twitching backwards as a faint hint of shame came from her. “I guess we hadn’t really been out at all, today…”
Nictis snorted faintly, shaking his head. He paused a moment, still holding his hoof to his chest. “You know, I don’t remember you being so hitty.”
“I don’t remember you being so hittable,” she said, regaining her cheerful grin. “Besides, it makes such a satisfying sound!”
She demonstrated by raising a hoof and rapping it against his shoulder with a sharp “clop” and drawing another snort from Nictis. “Well it’s not very nice.”
“Pfft,” she replied. “It’s affectionate! Besides, you’ve got that armored shell of yours. Did you even feel that?”
“It’s the principle of it,” he grumbled, earning a laugh from her.
“And if I didn’t like you, you wouldn’t be complaining about the principle of it after I hit you,” she said, waving a hoof in front of him. Then she stepped up beside him, throwing a foreleg over his shoulder. “Seriously, though, I’m glad you’re back, so you’re just going to have to deal with me being all happy and affectionate and glad to see you, no matter how much it hurts.”
Nictis sighed, prompting another giggle from Cotton.
Another period of silence followed after she released him.
“Hey, Cotton?”
She smiled back. “Yeah?”
He hesitated a moment before finally saying, “Thanks, for…”
“Hey,” she said, reaching out to give him a hug, her head resting alongside his. “What’re friends for, right?”
He simply held on, gathering what hope he could build from the affection and compassion an old friend still held for him, even after all that had happened.
Eventually she released him, pausing to give a gentle nuzzle. “So, we’ll see you tomorrow?”
Despite everything, he found himself smiling softly. “Yeah.”
They made their farewells and parted ways. Nictis stayed and watched Cotton trotting off, with that happy bounce in her step. Eventually he forced himself to turn back and walk toward the castle gate, and the pair of unicorn guards waiting for him.
The black spot of movement drew Sky’s attention down to the courtyard far below. Even from the tall tower’s balcony, he was pretty sure that was Nictis returning already. His posture and movement didn’t betray any sadness or anger, so presumably his meeting with Spark had gone well. Curiosity tempted him to simply fly down and ask, but he held off. There would be plenty of time for that later.
Instead he sighed and slumped again. The sigh was echoed a moment later by Rainbow Dash, who was laid out atop the tower railing, a leg dangling lazily over the precipitous drop. “This is so boring,” she groaned.
“I did tell you so,” Sky said.
“But it shouldn’t be this boring,” Dash replied, her colorful tail flicking in agitation. “I mean, yeah, all those detective stories always talk about how long and boring a stakeout is, but we must have been here for hours!”
Sky gave a near-silent snort of amusement. “We could do something else,” Sky said. Please.
Dash gestured vaguely in the direction of the opposing tower’s balcony. “You know Chrysalis is in there, plotting up something nasty. Someone’s got to keep an eye on her.” She gestured again. “But instead, we just end up staring at some stupid drapes for hours.”
Sky glanced aside to the guards standing atop a nearby wall, to the nearby fully-manned tower, and to the small formations of pegasus guards flying slow patrols over the castle. “There are like thirty or forty guards here. Pretty sure they can take care of it without us.”
That drew another groan from Rainbow Dash. “Well it’s not as if I have anything better to do. You and Twilight are doing all the boring talky stuff, Rarity’s playing at being a spy, and who even knows where Pinkie got off to. Not much I can do but keep my eye on Chrysalis in case she tries something.”
“Swooping in to the rescue, huh?” Sky said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Well, yeah. That’s kind of what I do. ‘Sides, it’s a lot more exciting than staring at drapes all night long.” She lazily waved a dismissive hoof toward the offending window. “That’s more of Rarity’s thing.”
Sky snickered softly. “Well, it seems to me that if you’re here to swoop in to the rescue, we don’t really need to be right here, do we?”
Dash’s head lifted up, and she turned to look at him. “What are you thinking?”
Sky’s wings flickered for a moment, lifting himself to stand atop the railing behind her. “I’m thinking we leave the guards to do the whole watching-and-guarding thing, and go have some fun.”
Dash mulled the statement over for a few moments. “I do like fun things,” she replied with a momentary flash of a smile before growing serious again. “But I’m not leaving everypony high and dry if she tries to pull something.”
“Pretty sure the guards can handle things here while we’re gone,” Sky said with a shrug. “And if they can’t? Well, we’ll just have to have fun playing the big heroes, swooping in to save the day.”
He could just barely hear a not-quite restrained chuckle from Dash. “Well when you put it that way,” she said, slowly stretching out. “What did you have in mind?”
“Are you kidding? We’re in a mostly vertical city full of towers and waterfalls and giant cliffs. It’s like a giant aerial obstacle course, and it’s probably the only place I know the skies of better than you do.” He flicked his wings through a couple beats and crouched, ready to spring into the air. “I want to race.”
That got Dash to raise an eyebrow, though he also noted the way her wings tensed ever so slightly, ready for flight. “Oh, you still think you can beat me, huh?”
“The main tower of Celestia’s school, then the main gate, then finish at the top of the lowest waterfall out of the city.”
Dash was starting to grin, wings shuffling slightly at her sides. “Okay, I--”
“Go!” Sky called out as he sprang from the railing, wings buzzing. Dash sprang after him almost instantly, all lethargy wiped away.
Sky grinned as he powered into a dive, building speed as he arced toward the dark gap between two buildings that provided the shortest route toward the first destination. Even though he had flown around the city every time he visited, and likely knew all the little twists and shortcuts better than Dash, he knew his chances of winning the race were slim. It hardly mattered. What mattered was that he was flying with her, enjoying a few moments of fun and excitement where they could simply do whatever they please.
Tomorrow held many important and potentially unpleasant things, from Chrysalis’s scheming to the potential fate of the majority of his species. Tonight, he just wanted to relax.
Tomorrow could wait.
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Sorry for the wait on this one. Spent way too long being a sleep-deprived zombie who was unable to brain, much less coherently word, but all is better now.
There was a big long thread of comments on Without a Hive that I had to hold off on commenting on, because it was very relevant to what I was writing and I didn't want to give anything away. I'm curious to see some of the reactions to this little reveal!
...Even though there's still quite a bit unresolved and unexplained that won't be dealt with until a later chapter. Whee!
Hit refresh, New Chapter, YES!
I was kinda hoping for the meeting with Chrysalis this chapter....I am disappoint.
(good chapter, btw)
3865276
Soon
Glad to see Biggs back in action, as well as
Meadow'sNictis' and Spark's reunion.Nictis and Spark really are the most adorable (and well written, oh my god cant forget the well written) couple I have seen on this sight. Have all of my squees.
Cotton is a good friend, and a nice bastion of reason and logic. Which is kinda weird for someone who reminds me of Pinkie at times.
Biggs huh. Curious to see were that goes.
And Sky and Dash have some fun together. Smile.
In summary, a perfectly lovely chapter.
3865352
I've had Cotton described back to me as a more adult Pinkie Pie... for multiple definitions of the word "adult."
Which probably has a lot to do with why I keep mentally picturing her as an earth pony instead of a unicorn. Doesn't help that this is the first time she's ever been explicitly shown using her magic, I think. I, erm... was about halfway through writing this chapter before I realized I'd slipped up and changed her to an earth pony.
3865423
perhaps she wants to be an earth pony
Now that was a chapter. No cliffhanger, nothing to worry about, a major plot question answered without bringing up any more major questions (though there are smaller ones, of course), it's not too long or too short... just what I like to see in a chapter.
Is there somewhere we can find a reference for the characters? It seems I read "Without A Hive" too quickly and missed Cotton's and Bigg's descriptions, so I have no idea what they look like, and I'm not 100% sure if I remember Sparks right, either. I won't ask you to refresh my memory on Meadow Song, since it seems kinda pointless at this point.
HNNGH! JUST TELL US WHAT CHYRYSALIS IS UP TO ALREADY! Seriously, is she really this egotistical? Is she really still plotting Equestria's downfall? WTF is going on!
Preemptive "new chapter is up" squee!
Now back to waiting impatiently for whatever meeting Chrysalis has planned with Nictis. I'm guessing she'd going to try and browbeat the hell out of him but in reality she's more curious about Ceymi's fate than actually tormenting him. (That she can do that as well is just icing.)
I wonder how Spark actually feels about Nictis being a guy. I'm fine with other people being different in their sexual preferences, but if I just found out that my girl was actually a guy I know for a fact I'd be hard pressed to reconcile.
This was awesomely good. Well worth the wait.
That is an incredible declaration of love from a naturally-eusocial being. He's basically saying that Spark, now, is his Hive.
I'm especially pleased with the way you handled Spark's reactions to everything.
The term for the speech Cotton gave Nictis is You Are Better Than You Think You Are, with a side helping of Don't Say Such Stupid Things. And she referenced exactly the deeds that made me originally decide that Nictis was a good person, when I read Without a Hive.
Pinkie Pie herself is actually highly-intelligent, as she's repeatedly shown in canon. She's just -- distracted. In my fanon, she's distracted by certain responsibilities she was born with. In yours, ????
Cotton's a much more normal Pony than is Pinkie, as far as I can tell, aside from being very energetic and hedonistic.
Please, do ignore your real life and keep writing this. I love what you're doing!
3865746
The interesting thing is that reading this scene, I have no idea if Spark knows Nictis is a male Changeling. I did notice that he as much as asked Nictis to assume the form of Meadow Song again.
I hope Meadow Song appears again in this story, just for nostalgic purposes. There must be some situation you can manufacture to get Nictis to assume his pony form at some point...
Awesome chapter. Worth the wait.
3866084
The way things seem to be developing, Meadow Song might well be back. Right by the side of a rising young inventor.
But remember the first rule of romantic adventure fiction. Just when things seem to be going well for our couple, bad s**t happens.
I think I see a very clear source of bad s**t about to happen. And she's wearing a crown.
Or do I guess wrong?
Addendum: I thought it was nice to see Rainbow Dash being friendly to Sky again. I have dark forebodings about the outcome, though, and if so I don't think it will be either of their faults.
Okay, I'm not judging Biggs as harshly anymore. I especially liked Cotton pounding the message into him and Nictis that this wasn't about them.
I was originally part of the crowd intrigued about the possible drama over Nictis not being a mare, but the comments steered me away from it. I'm under the impression that the changelings don't necessarily need to mate, there are just breeding types and non-breeding types, not sure if that's the case. I'll admit I liked the idea of drama from that, but it was more from not seeing it in a changeling story before.
Edit: Also, everything about Chrysalis and Nictis screams trap. I get nervous about him going in a room alone with her. I hope I'm wrong.
3865746
I always just assumed it wasn't much of a physical definition for the drones as it was a neutral term. Drones are the "males" while rulers are the "females," and past that, there isn't much to it aside from the role definition.
3866307 I'm actually not sure whether it would be best for Nictis to assume the guise of Meadow again, at any point. Right now the most important thing is for him to convince Spark (and for Spark to fully realize) that *Nictis* is the person that loves him and vice versa. Being Meadow while trying to do that seems counterproductive. Then, once that's accomplished, what need is there for Meadow?
I mean, aside from the fact that she's smokin' hot. :)
3866526 Considering how my opinion of Nictis evolved over "Without A Hive" starting from "wow, this is a genuinely selfish and 'evil' protagonist" to seeing him as the more rounded and balanced individual he is now, I'm quite willing to let my opinion of Biggs evolve too. Heck, I'd already started thinking he was growing up back at the end of Without A Hive.
3866951
That's the exact reason why I assume that Nictis was being strictly himself at that first reunion with Spark. It's a good instinct on his part, because anything that seemed like trying to trick or seduce Spark at this point would only make Spark suspicious.
Well, the most obvious and vulgar answer is applicable, considering the nature of the relationship. Aside from that, Spark liked interacting with Meadow, and Nictis liked being Meadow. So why not?
3866757
It's possible, but if there was no actual gender distinction in terms of reproductive ability, there wouldn't be any reason for the distinction to exist at all. They would most likely just refer to each other by the pronoun used for the dominant class, in this case "she/her" since the rulers of their species are obviously female.
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His little mental breakdown could have something to do with the whole gender thing. After all, Nictis wouldn't have been referring to himself with male pronouns in his own letters, so Spark might not have known until he started speaking. But either way, I think he'll be able to get over it. I mean, it might be different if they were just dating, but their relationship was quite a bit more serious than that. If I suddenly found out that my wife was a shapeshifted male, it would definitely be.....weird.....and it would take some adjustment to get used to, but I don't think I would leave her over it. It would be really weird for a bit, though......
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Well, Spark may not be interested in guys. Speaking on a personal level here, even if I knew a guy that I could romantically be involved with, it would never happen because I don't find men physically attractive in any way. If Spark is straight, the fact that Nictis' natural form is male will be an issue at some point.
I do think he shouldn't go back to being Meadow at any point soon, but eventually I don't see a problem with it. After all, like Cotton pointed out, Meadow was him just with a different skin.
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Except that without the distinction, the story would be far more confusing for the readers. I'd just been assuming that the vernacular was following a similar case to studies in nature of various species like bees. You have male and female bees, but most of the time for ease, we don't use the proper terms.
The author is loving the amount of speculation on this either way, I'd bet.
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I was thinking more of Spark's possible reaction. I don't know, yet, if he's even figured out that Nictis is actually male. Nothing I've seen yet either in canon or this fanon implies that the Changelings even have external genitalia, or that Spark is familiar enough with their subtler anatomy to notice whatever dimorphism may exist, or understand its significance.
Whether it matters to Spark or not is an open question. I mean, the obvious reaction those of us who want to see this work out are hoping for is either Bi the Way or If It's You It's Okay, to give them their TV Tropes names.
FWIW, I'm straight, and in Spark's position I'd love Nictis anyway.
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Chrysalis is the Psycho Bitch Queen From Hell in canon, and I think that she's at least a little bit sadistic and megalomaniacal. I agree with Ardashir in Wolf in Pony's Clothing that there is something psychologically-wrong with her, that her degree of aggression is alien not only to the Ponies but also to normal Changelings (who normally survive by hiding, rather than openly attacking Great Powers).
I haven't gotten to putting Chrysalis centrally in one of my own stories (though she figures as a never-seen Big Bad in one of them, those of you who've read them know which), but I hope I'm not giving too much away by saying that my own concept of Chrysalis is that she's evil, insane and motivated by an apocalyptic and racist ideology. In other words, she's Not A Nice Changeling, not at all.
I think she wants to kill or turn Sky and Nictis. And she might be only too willing to strike at their loved ones in order to achieve this end. This would not be an entirely sane thing for her to do, but then I don't think she's entirely sane.
She may also have a larger objective of once again attacking Canterlot. Again, not entirely sane, but the same point applies.
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).
Oh, I can guarantee you he is. He's an asshole like that (But I still love you, Phoenix. Totally-homo
The bee thing is an interesting example, but it only works because bees reproduce sexually. If the drones were all non-gendered then there wouldn't be a male gender to take a male pronoun. Much like how lots of gender-neutral things in English take a male pronoun because we have a patriarchal society, if that were the case in the hive the drones would all have most likely picked up female pronouns due to being in a matriarchal society.
But it's all just guesses anyway, since our dear author has yet to discuss changelings being intimate in their natural form, regardless of gender. I guess we'll find out when Sky and RD have sexy times at the waterfall they're gonna reach at the end of their race.
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If he knows, sure. I think it more has to do with the knowledge that the best friend and one true love of his life turned out to be and have ALWAYS been a shapeshifting alien psychic vampire. Seriously, consider just how much of his own self-esteem was born in the knowledge that Meadow Song always approved of him: did you notice that several of his questions boiled down to "Were you ever really my friend?" and "Did you ever truly love me?"
He loved a lie: he's trying to find out how much of the lie was essentially true. I think that if Nictis really is the sort of person Meadow Song seemed to be, he can accept her true identity. Maybe even that she's a he.
Rainbow Dash could forgive Sky much more easily because Sky never knew that he was lying, because she only knew him a short while before his true nature was revealed, and because they were never actually lovers. RD's foundations of self-worth were never threatened: I think she would have been more pissed at Sky if they'd actually consummated that romantic relationship,
but it still wouldn't have challenged her whole concept of who she was.
Same here, and I just told my wife that I'd still love her under those circumstances!
I'm thinking that Queeny may actually praise Nictis for doing his job so well, rather than have malicious intent as many are suggesting. Think about it, he was a half-trained kid with only a couple days lessons and he managed to remain undetected for how long? I'd say she'll ask about his mentor and then congratulate him for Infiltrating so well. Remember, he never intended to leave the hive (in fact I assume Chrysalis found out about the expedition), so there is probably a reason she wants to speak to him alone.
I don't think he'll get to see Sparks tomorrow, I think Chrysalis may essentially force him (diplomatically or otherwise) to meet with her.
A very nice update, it was fun and interesting character development. Good story, with the looming threat and promise to what happened that one night, from the only survivor. I hope that your muse keeps inspiring.
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lol, nice.
But as for Spark, I was just saying that his freakout after their hug and all that might have had something to do with the gender issue (assuming he noticed). It seemed like whatever freaked him out was something new, or at least something that he hadn't thought of before.
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Spark may also be afraid by just how easy it would be for him to fall back into loving Meadow Song, even if he isn't sure he can trust Nictis. Seriously, Spark's situation strikes me as being at Twilight Zone levels of bizarreness and (form his POV) potential danger.
Oh, and Chrysalis is in town. Which must be reminding Spark that, if Nictis is lying, there are whole other possibilities regarding the Changeling's true loyalties.
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Spark may also be afraid by just how easy it would be for him to fall back into loving Meadow Song, even if he isn't sure he can trust Nictis. Seriously, Spark's situation strikes me as being at Twilight Zone levels of bizarreness and (form his POV) potential danger.
Oh, and Chrysalis is in town. Which must be reminding Spark that, if Nictis is lying, there are whole other possibilities regarding the Changeling's true loyalties.
Incidentally, Cotton explained the difference between parasitism and symbiotic commensalism pretty well. And essentially pointed out to Nictis that he's more a symbiont than a parasite, the way he's living.
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For the most part, they were described fairly vaguely, rarely more than their coat color and cutie mark. I thought the finer details of appearance would have been fairly unimportant to the story and kind of get in the way, plus leaving it slightly vague lets the reader come up with their own vision of them.
Cotton was described as a pink unicorn with a mixing-bowl cutie mark. The rest was never specified, but I always pictured her with a darker pink (Tending toward purple) short and somewhat spikey mane and tail (Kind of like Vinyl Scratch), violet eyes, and a sturdy athletic build.
Biggs was, well, rather big and strong (Think Big Mac build), with a white coat, blue eyes, and short silver-gray mane and tail. Embarrassingly, I don't think I ever described a cutie mark for him, as he was a blank-flank when first encountered, and Nictis just didn't care that much, later. I... also seem to be entirely inconsistent as to whether the contracted form of Big Shot's name is "Bigs" or "Biggs." I think I'm going to go with "Biggs" from now on (Which means it's time to go back and make sure it gets used consistently).
Spark has a charcoal-grey coat, a fairly wild mane and tail (Length unspecified, but I always pictured medium in length), golden eyes, and a cutie mark of a pair of steel-gray gears, one slightly smaller than the other. He's a bit on the short and skinny side. I didn't even think of it until you mentioned it, but I should probably slip in some simple bits of description into the paragraph where she first sees him. It'd be easy to slip in a few mentions of coloration as a subtle way of reminding everyone of what he looks like, since it's been so long. I even did that in the last story when he showed up again, so I'm not sure why I forgot to do so here...
And while Meadow's appearance may or may not matter any more, she was described as brown in color (I pictured a light-brown/tan coat with long and sleek darker brown mane and tail), with green eyes to match her magic, a compass rose cutie mark, and a tall and lean build (Much like Fleur de Lis).
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Sorry
Don't worry, though. She'll be showing up again next chapter.
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Man, am I ever!
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Did she have the context of the statement? Because my mind immediately lept to the most awkward possible scenario ("Hey hon, if you actually turned out to be some male shapeshifting emotion-eating bug-creature... I'd be okay with that.")
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Cotton's pretty bright, especially when it comes to people.
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Rosanna knows of my obsession with My Little Pony, and she's seen all the episodes. I've also, specifically, told her the story of Nictis, enough that she would have gotten the idea of what I was speaking.
The physical descriptions are useful, as you last described most of them completely as children.
Just as a note, I went back and did a little tweak to the part where Nictis sees Spark again for the first time (Erm... you know what I mean). Now it includes little mentions of colors, to give a somewhat more complete refresher on his appearance, since it's been something like 100k words since the last time it was mentioned. Probably won't make much difference to most readers, but it seemed like a good idea.
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Or blame him for her daughter's death and berate him for his disloyalty to the hive by not bringing in more food for the hive and instead choosing to stay with a pony because of the forbidden act of loving them back. She seems to be a 'foal of a nag' like that.
I swear I almost had a fucking heart attack during this chapter. I assume that's the good writing and a compelling storyline that I've been sticking with a while. Now, for shameless begging...
Write moooooooooorrreeee!
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It succeeded in making me cry at two points: the first being Nictis' declaration of love, which for all its lack of drama was one of by implication total devotion. The second was when Cotton gave Nictis the big "You Are Better Than You Think" speech, and in particular when she pointed out that Spark also knew about most of those good deeds. Then she followed it up by, basically, telling Nictis that he was a symbiont, rather than a parasite or predator.
I figure something truly horrible's going to happen next, to balance this. I'm just glad that Bad Horse isn't writing this story!
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Possibly. So many questions and so few answers.......
But I doubt Spark knows about Chrysalis. Cotton didn't, and it's almost guaranteed that Biggs didn't either since he would have tried to use that against Nictis if he had. And since Spark is easily the most distracted of the three, I doubt he somehow caught onto it when the other three didn't.
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I'm going out on a limb here, but given that Phoenix_Dragon telegraphed the utter stupidity from the Changeling POV of Chrysalis attacking Equestria -- especially Ceymi's comments about the Equestrians being incredibly dangerous en masse, and Nictis' utter awe when he started to fully grasp the population, wealth and technology of Equestrian society, coupled with the fact that Phoenix_Dragon's attitude toward the Changelings seems to be unsentimental but also non-monstrous (namely, that they are simply aliens, not malign demons) -- things are being set up for Chrysalis to be revealed as an exceptionally aggressive and megalomaniacal Changeling Queen. If this is true, then her reaction to not being hunted down and killed is probably "They're weak," and in consequence she is planning something extremely nasty.
Now, what would this mean for Sky, Nictis, or any other of the lost Changelings whom Equestria chose to shelter? It would mean that they are going to have to choose sides, and quick, with Chrysalis probably not taking "no" for an answer. If Nictis means what he said about his primary loyalty now being toward Spark, who is not only an Equestrian but (whether anyone gets this point yet or not) in the long run an Equestrian weapons designer, then Nictis will in the eyes of Chrysalis be an outright traitor. So I could see things getting pretty unpleasant, pretty fast, for our favorite Infiltrator.
3867687 I'd pictured Cotton as light pink coat (color of Fluttershy's mane) and pale pink, almost white mane in Pinkie Pie's style. She reminds me of her a lot. Maybe they're cousins.
For some reason, I'd always pictured Meadow with a blue coat and generic mare build. She does have "Sky" in her name, though the shade I pictured was a bit deeper than sky blue.
Funny how my images of the characters never match the intended descriptions. I remembered Sparks's description (just needed a refresher to double-check), and somehow I guessed Biggs's appearance correctly as well. You never mentioned his cutie mark, and so somehow, my mind conveniently showed his flanks being either just off-"screen" or blocked by furniture or something.
3867893 That's a good idea. In big stories like this, it's easy to lose track of details. It could be worse, though; I've read one story series with a combined total of more than triple the word count of your stories' total, and triple the number of main cast members as well. Can you imagine how hard it is to keep track of things over the course of a million words?
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Oh, things are definitely going to get difficult from here on out. The Equestrian changelings have already been cut off from the hive if Chrysalis' guards are to be believed.
The big question now is what the queen's plan is. Even if we assume that the only reason she wants to talk to Nictis is to find out what happened to Ceymi (which is unlikely), she still has those infiltrators running around the city doing stuff. I kind of feel bad for Nictis, since him being the first and most public infiltrator to side with Equestria openly pretty much put a giant target on his back.
Sky may be the face of the Equestrian changelings, but Nictis could easily be seen as the heart. FOr all his good public image, because of his memory loss, Sky isn't really a very empathetic character to a lot of the changelings. Sure he's one of them, and they don't dislike him or anything, but Nictis is something else entirely. He spent years in Equestria doing all the less than pleasant things that infiltrators have to in order to do their job, he knows the fear and the determination to survive in hostile territory that Sky will realistically never be able to understand. That's why he's so good at helping changelings adjust.
If Chrysalis finds a way to remove him from the picture, whether that means killing him or, even better, getting him to come back to the hive, that would do a LOT of damage to Sky's attempts to integrate changelings, both to the Equestrian changelings themselves as well as to the Equestrian public's view of them.
The relationship between Spark and Nictus has to be my favorite of any story I have read here. So very happy to finally see it moving forward again!
"I miss Meadow"
That hit me right in the feels.
Huh. This is the second time in a row I used a new chapter of A New Way as an excuse to re-read the previous two stories. I told myself I should do it to refresh my memory regarding all the characters, and that's partly true, but I can't deny that again the idea of reading it all again didn't bother me in the least, quite the opposite. Not unlike Spark in a way, I suppose (Complete rebuild!).
I do hope we see Nictis make a round to apologize/get in touch with everypony who's life he influenced to at least some degree. And I am still waiting for a mention of Glitterbug again.
Hah, wow. Now I'm even more looking forward to this
Welp, Nictis has wings, at least
I like her style!
Haha! Totally called this in Without A Hive. As Meadow, he did a lot of good for the community. Admitted, most of it was in some weird attempt to get back at Biggs, but still
She gets paid for it. Same thing. You do a job to get food on the table, and pick something you like doing! I'm kinda surprised she didn't outright mention that, because it destroys all his arguments, and she's clearly the type to hoof out blunt truths
Dash and Sky, crashing into a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
(Seriously. There's too much unresolved tension between these two. Yay for development!)
Remarks and corrections:
> and you still start get in a shouting match out here?
Looks like that should be either "start" or "get in", but not both.
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And notice what Nictis said in immediate reply?
Nictis was happy as Meadow Song, especially when he was with Spark.
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Biggs was going to complain about the unfairness, but he thought better of it. Because he doesn't have wings.
I would have, but I... I mean, she didn't think of it. Yeah...
Actually, I think I'll go back and add that in, because yeah, that's exactly the kind of thing she'd point out, and she has had a lot of time to think on it. Thanks
Normally I'm rather wary of OC/Mane-six shipping, but I can't help it here. There's just something about those two that I find so cute together! Just, um... don't tell Dash I called her cute.