Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. He lived in a small house with two elder brothers and rather insensitive parents. In preparation for winter one year, the parents asked one of the brothers to chop wood for the fire. Being the sensible pony he was, Clyde volunteered, as he recognised his brothers’ clumsiness. However, his parents refused him and instead sent the eldest brother, giving him wine and cheese for the journey.
Clyde, who realised that alcohol was not a sensible choice of drink when using sharp tools, offered to fill his brother’s flask. His parents begrudgingly allowed this, and so he went to do so. He filled it with water instead, but was careful to squeeze some ripe grapes into the flask so that the brother was adequately fooled. Then, he also took a few slices of fresh bread from the cupboard, as he knew his parents would not feed him that day.
As the brother went to chop the wood, Clyde followed him at a safe distance. He approached the forest where his brother worked, and as he did so, a small pony with a crippled leg strapped against a stick to support it, came close to him.
“Can you feed me, I’m weak, kind stranger?
Your brother refused, and for him is danger,
but please I beg from you, feed me now
and gold upon you I will endow.”
Clyde, after generously giving the pony two slices of his loaf, rather sensibly answered, “I have no need for gold, as I already have plans for starting a rock farm. Instead, I would ask you do not injure my brother, as he is clumsy enough as it is.”
The old stallion grumbled, but begrudgingly agreed. He stalked off after retrieving a golden goose from under some bushes. Clyde continued along his way, glad that he had saved his eldest brother.
However, when he returned home and explained his absence, his parents were furious. They were horrified that he had turned down an offer for gold and riches, as there was a terrible famine grasping Equestria at this time.
“Generosity from a stranger should be taken with a grain of salt,” Clyde explained, “and I have already planned for my future, with no need for random gifts to help me survive.”
His eldest brothers were also enraged that he had followed and tampered with the eldest’s food. Again, Clyde felt the need to explain himself.
“A well-implemented plan far exceeds a dubious miracle.”
Were they furious OR horrified?
I'm not sure this works that well, because as it stands Clyde didn't really reject a miracle
This doesn't really work. Clyde is sensible not omniscient so how could he have known what would happen if he didn't follow his brother. Also why is his plan any more sensible then accepting the miracle? His explanation for not needing gold is bullshit as he's going to need gold to set up the rock farm and his family needs gold to buy food to get through the famine. The moral could work but not in this situation where the "well implemented plan" required knowledge of things he should have no knowledge of and has a worse result then the "dubious miracle" would. Not to mention it's not really a miracle to be given something for a good deed. Hell if he gives the stranger food and gets gold in return then that's not a miracle, that's just a basic trade of goods.
6397581
The following is my opinion as a reader, not an author. I published this story exactly as it was sent to me, if I remember correctly.
I'm not too familiar with the source material for this fairy tale (I remember reading it once many years ago), but I don't think I'm seeing what you're seeing.
Clyde doesn't know what will happen if he lets his brother go out alone. He just knows that clumsiness + tools isn't a good combination, especially with alcohol in the mix. It isn't stated, but I'm assuming that his brother has had more than one accident involving a clumsy mishap before. So he follows him, so that he can complete the job himself or help his brother back home if something goes wrong. Running into the old stallion who planned to hurt his brother was pure coincidence.
As for the gold; Clyde has been shown throughout the Tales to be quite content with what he has. This makes him very difficult to tempt with wealth or power. He mentions outright that he has a plan for obtaining a rock farm, so he doesn't need gold for that. Perhaps he plans to save money while apprenticing himself to an existing rock farmer, for instance. Having gold to help his family through the famine would be nice, but if he had accepted the goose, who knows what might have happened to his brother? In addition, Clyde has no idea when making this deal that the stranger even has a golden goose. The stranger has only promised him gold, not an animal that will provide for him and his family as long as the goose is alive.
So in short; Clyde's plan doesn't require being omniscient. He's smart enough to know his brother isn't the most suited pony to chop wood, and doesn't want him to get hurt. He values his brother's health (or even life; the severity of the danger is never stated) over the wealth the stallion promises. This seems rather sensible to me. You may disagree, but then I think it's a matter of having a different goal than Clyde does.
Moral Just because you've helped someone (in your opinion), don't expect them to agree. Above all, don't hold your breath until they're grateful
6397627 In my case, I'd add some laudanum to the wine to ENSURE my clumsy, stupid brother would have an 'accident'... (the axe totally fell backwards and severed his spine, Mom and Dad!)... ensuring I alone would inherit everything!
Then I'd accept the golden goose anyway and use the money to hire a hitpony to take out my useless parents and assume control over the company, leaving me to bask in the wealth and power and influence over politicians to ascend to the heights of the aristocracy! MUWAH HA HA HA HA!!!
(Alondro may have watched too many murder mysteries lately... the dangers of binging on "Murder She Wrote"...)
Man, I don't know how anyone could dislike these stories.
Sure, some of them, such as this one, may take a moment to get the full meaning (either that, or I'm really tired… ), but I can't help but love the sensible solutions to these stories. I know why the original tales tend to have less favorable endings, but it's always nice to see these, even if I only started following recently.
6397896
There may be a slight chance that your priorities are different from Clyde :P
My opinion:
If you find a miracle, you fucking take it.
If you've got a plan already, that doesn't mean you should just dismiss anything that might deviate from it. Hell, how does this even deviate from the plan? How does supplementing his rock farm with a supply of gold hurt him? ESPECIALLY if he's already given the guy food?
I mean, I guess you could argue that by taking the gold, the old man would have no qualms with hurting his brother, but what evidence does he have that the old man even thought of that? If the old man planned to hurt Clyde's brother, why would he follow through with such a flimsy trade?This is one of the few tales that I disagree with completely. It's the only one that's actually well written. It's not a tale of Clyde being sensible - it's a tale of Clyde being paranoid, and rigid in his attempts to guide his own life.
EDIT:
Shit, I speedread. Didn't notice the line about his brother being in danger. I guess it makes more sense now.
That said, the lesson at the end doesn't really fit. The lesson that I found is that life takes priority over potential miracles - not that plans are better than dubious miracles. He requested that his brother's life be spared over a mountain of gold - “A well-implemented plan far exceeds a dubious miracle” doesn't really feature into it.
This one doesn't really work and needs to be rewritten. Others have mentioned why.
6397581, 6397419, 6400299, 6402517 and probably others.
This needs a lot of work, and I appreciate the feedback. However, as I am an emerging author, things a little bit more specific than 'This needs reworking', would be great advice. I understand the confusion, the moral is a bit dubious, and it is. The story is not great, because I am not great at writing. I can edit it if Salivanth thinks it's necessary, but otherwise, leaving it intact and getting the advice of others works for me.
If you are about to type: "Dis be bad. plesh edit and go eat some bricks," then I beg of you, come up with something I could change that no-one has suggested before. If you can't do that, I have succeeded as a writer. And me succeeding is BAD. Don't let me win this.