• Published 4th Nov 2013
  • 2,972 Views, 319 Comments

Clyde's Tales - Salivanth

A collection of fairy tales featuring an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde.

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Clyde and the Weird Unicorn

Clyde and the Weird Unicorn

Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. He lived on a rock farm with his two eminently sensible daughters and slightly less sensible wife. His wife was pregnant and desperately wanted some alfalfa to eat. Clyde, being the sensible pony he was, knew better than to argue with a pregnant mare, so he set about trying to find some alfalfa for her.

Now, Clyde lived on a rock farm, and as such there wasn't much alfalfa to be found anywhere. The only pony that he knew to have alfalfa was a unicorn that lived on the outskirts of town. So Clyde grabbed a bag of bits and left to make his way to the unicorn's house, hoping he could buy some of the alfalfa.

When he got to the unicorn's house, he knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. Here, Clyde was in a dilemma. Ordinarily, Clyde wasn't the sort to steal, but he wasn't about to leave without the alfalfa. So Clyde climbed over the wall in the back of the house and into the garden. Just as he was picking some of the alfalfa, he heard a voice behind him.

"How dare you climb into the Magnificent Presto's garden and steal his crops?" The unicorn said in a somewhat nasally voice.

"Sorry about that. It's for my wife, you see. She's pregnant." Clyde replied evenly. "I'd be more than happy to pay for it."

"Pregnant, eh?" the unicorn said, a shifty look coming into his eyes. "Well, how about this. You can have the alfalfa, but in return the Magnificent Presto gets your wife's child."

"How about I just give you twenty bits?" Clyde responded. The unicorn considered this for a bit, then shrugged, agreeing.

Clyde gave him the money and quickly left, making a note to himself to never speak with that unicorn again. He went home to his wife and gave her the alfalfa, and eight and a half months later Pinkamena Diane Pie was born.

As for the weird unicorn, he was later arrested on charges of pedophilia.

Moral: Don't be a creeper.

Author's Note:

By DJ TR33.

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