Clyde's Tales

by Salivanth

Clyde and the Giant Statue

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, who was in charge of taking care of the sheep owned by a couple of wackos living in a rocky field. He was finally bored of babysitting sheep after a few days, so he decided to travel among the Western Mountains for some fun and excitement, because it was obvious that taking care of sheep, well, was not fun or exciting. He could stay behind like the owners told him to, but he changed his choice in the last minute.

He arrived at a village after a few minutes of walking. Instead of laughing at their genius idea of building their village on the very edge of the mountain, he approached the villagers to see if they needed any help with anything that was not related to architecture.

"Fellow Villagers, do you require the assistance of Clyde?" he bellowed.

"Oh Clyde, our village has been the victim of a giant stone statue for centuries! Every year we must give twenty percent of our food and livestock to the titan, or he'll devour our babies!" they cried.

It was true that the village lacked both food and babies. Perhaps it was because the village was built on the edge of the mountain, which is where the most infertile and unstable land resided, but Clyde had already told himself not to laugh at their stupidity.

"Fear not villagers, show me this giant and I will do my best to solve the situation." He responded.

"Oh thank you Clyde. The giant is a mythical creature called the Hubba, who challenges strangers to his own tests. If you win, he will do what he promises to you."

"So, where is this big giant?" Clyde asked.

"Right here."

A giant stone statue suddenly rose up from the bottom of the village, causing the villagers to hide in their huts as the titan emerged from the ground, roaring.

"I am the great Hubba. Prepare to..."

"I do not wish to fight you, oh great Hubba. For I am a peaceful and sensible horse at heart."

"Well perhaps a challenge then?" The giant extended his hand and picked out the unamused pony, lifting him up to the clouds. "If you can escape from my hand, I will leave the village forever."

Since Clyde did not have wings or magic, he was offended by the giant's proposal. "I am a sensible pony, and you are not making sense. It would be better if you put me on the top of the mountain and the challenge would be for me to go in the palm of your hand."

"Indeed it will." The giant placed Clyde on top of the tallest mountain and distanced his hand a few feet away from the earth pony. "Begin." To his surprise Clyde just turned around and slid down the mountain, ignoring the stone giant. "Do you admit defeat? Does this mean I win?"

"No, fellow giant, I have won. I never said to change the challenge. I just suggested another opinion. Since you only agreed on my choice and not change it to your own decision, the old challenge stands. The villagers are free."

"I...must keep my word. You are a smart one, earth pony." he spluttered.

Leaving the stunned monster, who began to leave the village, he arrived at the villagers, who were starting to have a celebration in his honour before becoming stunned themselves as Clyde ignored them as well and quickly went back to the rocky field, where the sheep were still resting in, as although the land was rocky, the grass was fertile and sweet.

"And by the way villagers, move your village, you dummies. Even my sheep are smarter than you. Than me too actually. They were smart enough not to leave the farm, and I wasn't."

Moral: Sometimes the first choice of a decision may be the best one.

Author's Note:

By chankl2.

Comments

[Pickleless]

I love this fanfic.
I hope it never ends.

[TheifofZ]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who noticed the pun in the title.
Clydesdale (a breed of horse), Clydes Tale ... yeesh. Very clever though.

The stories are even more clever than the title. Very enjoyable.

[Alondro]

Then Clyde tests something by putting the sheep on top of the mountain... and they walk right over the edge of a cliff.

"Dear me," Clyde said, frustrated. "If the sheep are more sensible than I, and I am more sensible than everypony else... then the ponies of our world really don't make any sense at all!"

[Short Stories]

5835595
The puns shall never cease. :P

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

You left out the part where the giant drop kicked Clyde clear over the horizon. When he came down, the grateful villagers buried what was left of him in a sponge.
Moral: Presence of mind is good, but sometimes absence of body is better.