Sweeeet

Well written, a bunch of fun, proper themes, and fantastic potential. You done good. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Aww... yeeeeaaahhhh.

Okay, here we go, a chance to get the Sparity clop on the table, how will the dice roll? Somebody give me white unicorn and purple dragon, just roll those dice right.

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I feel like I should write a one shot for you guys with just some fantastic shameless sparity clop but knowing me i'd overthink it and it'd turn into this huge ordeal and aaaaAAAAAA.

3339562 You make that sound like a bad thing...

Have you read Weekend? ... Wait have you?

... To the comments section!

3339584
It's not a bad thing. It might be pretty fun, too.

3339588 I'm still looking through the comments!

(It's the best thing.)

Please let there be some flutterspike.

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Maaaaaybe there will be...

This is gonna be good.

3340048
I've got an AppleSpike in the works, actually. It's my favorite story that I'm working on currently because it's really down home and heartfelt and loveydovey. This story is actually kind of a cooldown story for when I'm working on that one, which I want to be perfect.

This should be entertaining.

@Idylia...

It has been a while since The Ones Forgotten, glad to see you are still writing .

Not sure if it was intentional or not, but you seem to have reversed some of the Wonderbolts' genders.

According to the MLP:FiM canon &/or wiki...

01. Spitfire; female, Captain (Wonderbolts' CO), has toy & collector card
02. Soarin; male, officer (presumed to be the Wonderbolts' XO), has toy & collector card
03. Fleetfoot; female, has role in MLP:FiM comic, mobile game character
04. Misty Fly; female, has toy & collector card
05. Rapidfire; male

06. Blaze; female
07. Fire Streak; male
08. High Winds; female
09. Lightning Streak; male
10. Silver Lining; male

11. Surprise; female
12. Wave Chill; male

13. Crescent Moon; male, squadron caretaker & medic, mobile game character
14. Manerick; male, Wonderbolts Academy staff
15. Whiplash; male, Wonderbolts Academy staff

Hopefully this list will help sort (or add) things out for additional cast for your fan-fiction .

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Surprise is r63 on purpose.

Thank you very much for the list, though! I appreciate it.

EDIT: I wrote this story before I read the Big Mac arc of the comics which is why Fleetfoot is male. It's kind of a coincidence there's actually a Wonderbolt named Fleetfoot actually.

Goddamnit how dare you release a vaguely-realistic-interpretation-of-heat-season fic before I do.

So excited for Soarin'Dash you have no idea.

Although to be honest the part that interested me the most is exploring what's up with Fluttershy never going into heat. That seems a bit unnatural. Unless the idea was to portray heat as a really broad, sliding scale with her at the extreme low end and AJ at the extreme high end? Curious to see where that goes.

Definitely watching this one. Good start.

--CG

Officially featured.

3341118
Either that, or Spike has been helping her all this time.

3340719...

Fair enough. Though, I think a mare-mare encounter between Pinkie Pie & (canon-female) Surprise might have been much more ironic and hot amid the rest of the heated ruttings .

Likewise, always happy to provide what literary assistance &/or creative suggestions I can. A strong tool in writing a believable fan-fiction is being as accurate to the source-canon as possible, though there are exceptions and creative leeways too, of course.

On a separate subject... I hope your future Applejack & Spike (portmanteau'x make my eyes twitch ) features an older/larger Spike as with The Ones Forgotten. The "romance" stories with "baby dragon" Spike and [pony mare] always put me off; unless it is a youthful (very youthful) romance with one of the filly characters, such as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, or a deliberate far-end comedy point.

.

EDIT: Just noticed something while edit-refining my comment... Looks we have some cowardly troll down-voting all comments. Too spineless to rear his trollish head with a comment, apparently .

This is genius!
It's the six of them beating the heat with season four and rule 63 added in.

No sparity in this story it seems? I can dig that as long Spike gets it on anyway with some mare. Looks pretty promising and well written.

Liking that there's a pretty strong focus on Pinkie so far. Should could maybe stand to be a bit less cartoony? But she's good, so far.

I'm liking the setup. Kind of a sexy adventure. Not sure where you'll go with it, or if there's an overall story in mind beyond riding out the heat cycle, but yeah, it's a good location, and having them stuck in crowds while sweating through their urges has been fun.

3341118I figured the idea of Fluttershy never going into heat meant she was sterile. Which would suck for a pony as motherly as her.

Oh yes... I recall this one.

Nice to see you finally showing it.

And it made feature, well done!

~Skeeter The Lurker

Okay, who the hell is downvoting most of the comments? That's friggin' weird.

3341118 Maybe Fluttershy just experiences a very low level of heat.

Even then, she could curl up on the couch with a blanket and just lie her head down and let it all seep away. For some it seemed that the couches were the bar stools and the blankets were the wings of other ponies, but Fluttershy found little comfort in the lifestyle.

Maybe that it just intense enough for her to want to get plowed, but just, be with a stallion? Just a theory.

"mairships"

Goddamn it. Just..take my fave and like already...

In before a bunch of whiny assholes stream in here and bitch about how "ponies don't go into heat," without giving any explanation.

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Hey! We trolls are a fine, proud race! The only thing we fear is fire!
[/attempted humor]

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Thanks again, friend! Pacing is one of those things that takes a while to properly tweak, and that was my major concern from your comment.

3342065
Sorry to hear that someone's downvoting comments, but it's really a trivial thing. They can downvote whatever they feel compelled to downvote, that's fine by me.

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You could speculate that, but just to clarify there's not meant to be any ambiguity about it, she is not in heat.

3344410

OHHHHHHHHH!

NOW I remember!

~Skeeter The Lurker

3344442

Haha, I don't expect you to chisel everything you read into your memory, it's cool.

Pinkie Pie stuck out her tongue. "Duh! Heat rises!"

This either answers or raises a lot of questions.

This looks like a great story, I'm looking forward to Twilight being turned on by math or something like that. It would be cute, funny and sexy all at once.

I too am curious as to why Fluttershy doesn't have a heat cycle, she seemed very sad about that.

A mares in heat story?! ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

3344754
My immediate reaction to that was "she's sterile."
But I could be wrong

3345712 I thought that too, but she's such a nurturing kind of pony that it would really suck for her if that were true. The reason I doubt it is the case is because if it was you'd think one of friends would have consolled her a bit when she made that comment. Just saying.

Does Fluttershy have some sort of physiological problem?

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A lot of people are bringing this up.
Fluttershy, like the other characters, will have a mini-arc that focuses on her despite not being in heat.

3345864 So you're saying we just have to wait for answers huh? You tease you.

3345919
Yep. Ideally this'd be all written and if you were dying to find out you could just read on and do so. Sorry.

3345925 it's cool, a bit of anticipation is fun.

Devious Pikie is Devious

Well, this should be good. A clopfic written by the most scarce of writers: one who writes well-constructed fiction, writes good clop with romance and plot, and likes Spike. I'm sure you wouldn't have aged him appropriately unless he was going to get something, even if it's off-screen. So far, though, he hasn't really done anything. He's just there.

Or in the case of chapter one's close, not there. Obviously his friends are in dire need of what the Wonderbolts can provide, but I do hope all six of them intend to compensate for leaving him behind while they hit a bar and get laid. Actually, wouldn't he - a trusted friend, and a dragon who can't get them pregnant - be ideal company during heat season? They have the perfect solution all to themselves, and they're not using it!

I'll say straight up I don't like clop. It's fascinating in its own way but I generally find it off putting.

But this...
This...

This is gold.

I have no idea why, but I find this story is just brilliant. The dialogue works, the humour is well timed, its easy to read, there's good grammar and spelling... Ach, this is what a story should be. The line. "Does anybody know calculus?!' very nearly had me in tears for some odd reason. I should probably get that checked. Then again, I was giggling away like an idiot for most of the chapter.

Pinkie being Pinkie...
Rainbow completely losing her shit in front of Wonderbolts...
Calculus...

Shit, this story is just good.

Still unsure whether I'll follow it, because you know, smut and all that... But really, fantastic work.

I demand FlutterSpike. Dragon needs someone to hold as his love interest is swepted off her hooves by another stallion. That or Spitfire finds out that a dragons in town and wants something Exotic.

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Thanks for giving it a shot anyways!
I concern myself with writing as best a story that I can execute. When I write smut I try to do it so that the sex is not only sexy but serves a greater narrative purpose, though some would argue lingering on something like that for so many words is a tremendous waste of time.

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He's just there because he has no purpose in the story I'm concerned with telling yet, namely the mane 6 and their heat cycles and their adventures.

Which isn't to say I couldn't have made use of him but the setup chapter was already long enough as it stood and I didn't really have time to shoehorn him in for a bigger role. The choice was, essentially, to have him be in the spotlight or out of it and I thought putting him fully in at this point in the story was a worse decision than it would have been good, considering how thin I've spread myself (a writer who's only used to writing one, two characters at a time in the past, another reason for writing this tale) already.

So he kinda just stuck his toe into the spotlight and said 'oh yeah, guys, i'm here by the way!' and gracefully took a bow to let the other characters handle the first act of the play.

Maybe I didn't need to have him in at all. But still.

Great story

but there better be regular updates nerdnirvana.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/or-else.jpg

3346833 Well, obviously he's not gonna be joining them at the Sky High Bar, but it would've been pretty cold of them to make their visit to Cloudsdale a ladies-only affair. Again.

more and spike why u no pimp!?!