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502 Fiction2,201 stories ·367 members

The Life of Two "Average" Ponies

This was inspired by Three of Me Vs School Society. Notice I say INSPIRED.
the updates for this will be nonexistent

Chapters (3)

Chapter 1 · 2nd Mar 2012 · 1,489 words
1,489
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Chapter 2 · 2nd Mar 2012 · 1,301 words
1,301
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Chapter 3 · 4th Apr 2012 · 712 words
712
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Comments ( 7 )

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Sorren

Sorren #1 · Mar 2nd, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

I want to say that it's good. But i cannot say that it is. There is a fair idea behind it. But there is a lack of action and the story requires way to much on the dialouge alone. And if you rely on the dialouge alone things become very unclear. You have to have thought or other traits such as action behind behind the dialouge or it is nothing but emotionless babble. So i'm trying not to be mean. But it needs alot of work.

Ferote