I just wanted to go to Equestria!

by Ditz

Meeting Pon-People

Morning arrived far too fast for my liking.

I throw some clothes on and have some breakfast before heading to the bus stop near my house with a lazily made backpack in tow, at first, I panic over finding the stop, but as it turns out, at the very least, my whole neighborhood is exactly the same in terms of design, maybe I got lucky that I lived in the area where Canterlot would be in this alternate timeline.

Hey, why question what you can’t explain?

It’s not long of a walk when I realize something. 'What if none of the MLP characters are in this world?' I refrain from visibly panicking at my obvious dilemma, but that quickly solves itself as the bus arrives and I get on, as I find myself staring at an out of shape Soarin-looking person on the wheel. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so sad.

Well, that’s one positive for today… For me, not for Soarin.

I decide to ignore everyone for the time being and move to the back of the bus where I easily find an empty spot. I have to say, traveling via bus is horrible, I have to get my alternate reality parents to get me a car, hopefully I had a drivers license, who even wants to go through the DMV twice as a ‘newbie’.

“Hey there!” I snap out of my thoughts and turn my head to see the person talking to me, and I come face to face with this rocker-looking dude, outside his flashy blue hair, I have to say he looks rather normal in comparison to the others.

He looks familiar, thought.

“Hi,” I return his greeting, he seems to be taken aback by my simple reply, but not one to give up, he sits next to me.

“So, what’s up? I haven’t seen you around Canterlot High before, are you new?” I groan internally, I didn’t really want to mingle with these… People… More than I had to. I’m not here to socialize after all.

“Yeah, I’m new,” I reply anyway, making enemies seems like a dumb thing to do on my first day.

“Well, do you want to hang out? I’ll give you a hand in getting to know the school better and all that! Oh, but wait, I haven’t introduced myself,” after ignoring his obvious disregard for being a creep, he takes out a bass/guitar from his seat and strums it/shows off, making the familiar sound of said instrument. The big question here would be why it played without it being plugged into something, well, guess I’ll never know/care enough.

“The name is Flash Sentry, and what’s your name, man?” of course, I had to say my name… It would be something that I would have to do often. Positives? There is nothing positive about my name.

“I’m… Lemon Lime…” I blurt out in a very low voice, he raises a brow in response.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, can yo- Woah!” he loses his balance and falls back abruptly.

“Flash! Get back to your seat, now!” calls Soarin from the front as the bus makes another stop.

“Oh… Whoops! I guess I’ll ask you later, let’s hope we have the same lunch!” he goes back to his seat with a few laughs following him, mine included, it was an amusing sight.

The rest of the ride remains uneventful, that is until I catch sight of the school; a rather grand building that might be old? I say that because it’s difficult to pinpoint its age, what with my vision being unable to make out a single thing wrong with the nearly perfect looking walls… It was eerie, I tell me what.

Then, a random thought hits me instantly, one that positively brightens up my day as I get off the bus.

If there is a Soarin, then there is a Spitfire.
If there is a Spitfire, there is a Rainbow Dash.
If there is a Rainbow Dash, there are other Mane 6 members.
And where Mane 6 members are, I’ll have… Twilight.
Not pony Twilight, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Maybe this won’t be too bad after all, besides, Twilight and I can socialize all she wants.
…
God, I’m sick, but I'm least I'm honest.

I begin my walk through the parking lot, passing a lot of people on the way, I find myself being pushed from side to side as I try to make my way inside the building, but the immense amount of freak-students makes it near impossible.

“I think you might need my help earlier than expected,” I turn to find Flash Sentry, holding his guitar/bass case with one hand, giving me an amused smirk. Just what I needed.

“Come on, I’ll take you to the Principal’s Office,” I reluctantly accept, and he walks ahead of me just as I try to keep up with him, we pass by the cafeteria and a few generic looking hallways until the number of students has thinned out, at this point, Flash deems it appropriate to talk to me again.

“So, I didn’t catch your name earlier, what was it?” I don’t bother to hide my groan this time, my new name is sort of a taboo thing for me. “Oh, if you don’t want to tell me that’s okay,” he replies a looking bummed out.

“My name is Lemon Lime, but just call me Pat,” well, he is helping, gotta cut him some slack. He seems surprised by my suggestion but doesn’t argue. Well… At the very least the name isn’t a dumb one in this world.

“Well, we are here, just go in and you can talk to Principal Celestia,” he tells me as we stop by a door that looks just like any other. Wait… Did he just-

“Principal …Celestia?” I exclaim unable to hold back my surprise, my jaw hitting the floor so to speak.

“Yeah, she is pretty chill, but watch out, she has a temper if you don’t behave,” a beep comes from his pocket and he brings out a phone, after checking it, he groans and turns to me. “Ugh, it‘s my girlfriend. Listen, I got to go, maybe we‘ll meet at lunch again, later!” by this point, I’ve stopped paying attention to him as my mind races.

I’m going to meet Princess Celestia… Okay, Principal Celestia, but again, I can’t really be a chooser, Celestia is Celestia, she’ll know what to do, I bet/hope.

It’s been five minutes until I find the courage to make my way inside, I decide to go for the bow, I’m meeting royalty and all that… Why isn’t she telling me to be at ease?

“Can I help you?” the voice is Celestia‘s alright, but it’s missing the regal tone it usually has alongside it. I decide to foolishly raise my head and come face to face with her, and pardon my French, but this is where I drop my cool.

“Holy you!? What’s wrong with your face!?” she looks at me, horrified at my words as she grabs her face and turns to a mirror behind her, and well, she should be, she certainly has the rainbow hair, but her face, man. HER FACE.

“Young man, are you insulting me?” she replies after finding nothing wrong with her face WHICH IS STILL THERE BY THE WAY. I try to compose myself with varying degrees of success, thankfully, her look of horror has become a look of worry. “Oh my goodness, are you okay?” she walks over to me and places a hand on my back, and sits me down on the chair in front of her desk, she closes the door to her office and sits on her own seat before resuming her worry over me.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine… My bad…” I apologize to her, despite her looks, she still seems to be a caring poneson at heart. She seems to calm down as well as she looks over me curiously… And I realize that I just made a term for them. Brilliant.

“If you say so, now, how may I help you?” she asks recovering her professional demeanor.

“Well, I’m a new transfer here and I’m here to enroll,“ she seems deep in thought for a second.

“Yes… I remember getting a call that we might receive a new student. I must admit, it’s strange to have a new one so late in the semester, especially for a Junior,” she reaches for a folder and opens it. “Now, what’s your name?”

By this point, I remember I have a package with info on me that mom gave me -avoiding the need to say my name with it is a plus- it would have been easier to have her here with me while I was properly enrolled, but noooo, she has a job, and she has no time for m- Oh God, here is my teenage body acting up.

“Oh yeah, I forgot, my mom told me to give you this,” I take the package from my backpack and hand it to her, I wait while she peruses the contents, and for some reason, her eyes widen occasionally while checking some of the stuff, but it doesn’t take long for her to file away the papers and turn to me once more.

“Alright Lemon, welcome to Canterlot High, I am Principal Celestia, and we are glad to have you onboard,“ she checks her watch for a second and frowns. “Unfortunately, I need to go to meet the superintendent, but I‘ll have someone here to help you,” she shakes my hand and walks to another room where she then comes out with someone else in behind her an- Oh God… I think I’m gonna be sick.

“Hello Lemon, I’m Vice-Principal Luna, it‘s nice to meet you, aaaand here is your schedule,” that’s all I manage to hear as I try my darndest to hold the bile building up in my throat while I grab the paper from her hands, I just can’t place it, she looks even worse than Celestia.

Hasbro, you monsters, what have you done?

“You okay?” she asks, placing a hand on my shoulder, this time it isn’t comforting though, but creepy. Thankfully she notices this and removes it. “Ahem… Well, I know you need someone to take you to class now, and I’d do it myself, but I’m far too busy at the moment,” eeyup, just like a real high school. “So I’ll have my student aid take you, if that’s alright,” she pulls out a walkie-talkie and talks into it. “Ms. Pie, can you please report to th-”

Out of nowhere, the door to the office opens and a familiar looking figure shows up.

Her skin is a light pink, while her hair is a brighter shade of the same color, she is wearing a simple pink skirt that would break tons of high school dress codes, and of course, a trio of balloons on the side, there is only one who would fit this description... Or I just need to meet more people.

“Pinkie Pie?” I say in amazement at the now human pony, but just like that, she is suddenly out of my field of vision, and before I know it, I feel myself being forcibly turned around, said Pinkie Pie staring me head on uncomfortably close… And while I‘m here, I have to say that the rumors are fake; she smells nothing like cotton candy.

“How did you know my name!? Are you psychic!?” Pinkie asks, her face looming closer to mine.

“Er… Maybe?” I respond without a second thought.

“Oh, oh! What else can you tell me!” she asks me excitedly while jumping up and down, releasing me from her grasp. Pinkie is Pinkie anywhere she is, it seems.

“Well… You work in a bakery, and you have a pet alligator called Gummy!” I realize that I’m probably overstepping my bounds with the guesses, but how can I resist this?

Wait, she is frowning.

“Wrong! He is an iguana! But I guess two out of three isn’t bad,” she says, suddenly shoving said pet in front of my face.

“Holy crap!” I fall back on the floor, horrified by the sudden appearance of the lizard, breathing heavily at the sudden scare, but there is no mistake it’s Gummy, if the eyes alone didn’t tell me enough.

“I’m guessing you have this under control," says Celestia in an uncharacteristically mocking tone. "I’ll return later, Luna. Good luck,” she leaves the room while Luna sighs in response.

“Oh sister, I swear,” she says in a barely audible voice before snapping back to us. “And Pinkie, what did I tell you about bringing Gummy to school?”

“But he gets lonely without me!” Luna gives her a deadpan stare that Pinkie quickly notes. “You are right, you can have him until after school, then!” Luna isn’t too happy about this turn of events, of course, as she visibly recoils at Pinkie’s backpack.

“Er… You can take him with you… But don’t let anyone see it! For our sakes,” I’m at a loss of words, at the scene playing out in front of me, it’s like watching the show, only 99% less pony.

“Okie dokie lokey then!” she dons her backpack once more and turns to me. “So you need to get to class, right?” I nod. “Well then, what are we waiting for? Let’s a-go!” she moves to the door and opens it, we are about to leave before Pinkie turns to Luna with a huge grin.

“See you later, Lulu!” at which point we make our way out, Pinkie closing the door on the way, but not before hearing Luna’s complaint of ‘For the last time, Pinkie, don’t call me that in school!’ I would be lying if I said I wasn’t visibly laughing right now.

You know what? Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

…
And even as I say that, I can already hear Murphy planning his retaliation on me.

Author's Note:

To Author Notes/Blog

Comments

[Unforgiving]

Interesting story, I'll be favoriting this one, looks interesting...

Also, one thing I just have to mention.

He can still go to Equestria, Portals.

[Ditz]

3272242 He doesn't know this though
images.wikia.com/villains/images/3/30/Human_Sunset_Shimmer_looking_sinister_EG.png

[nighters]

30 moons to go give or take as long as the portal doesn't get moved around or broken unless the principle deem the statue a hazard to the school...

[Mike the Red]

Oh, this is good! I definitely look forward to future installments of this story!

[Nova Nexus]

LOL.....just LOL!

[Ditz]

3279544 Oh, don't you worry, he did it so much that it should be illegal.

[FanOfMostEverything]

HiEG, eh? This should be very interesting. Definitely looking forward to more, especially the impact our citrusy hero may have on Sunset's ascension to queen bitch.

[Ditz]

3295671 Being out of high school for 5 years now, I would find it a really odd experience as well.