I just wanted to go to Equestria!

by Ditz

A Hop, A Skip, And a Dash

“Alright, Pat, draw your last pathetic card… Tee, hee, hee!”

I roll my eyes at Pinkie’s words, and draw, I look at the card, and I feel my poker face tumbling like a house of cards blown by wind... From an air blower.

“What’s the matter, Pat mah boy? Drew something you didn’t like?” she says mockingly. I groan at her competitive behavior, the show didn’t hint as Pinkie having any sort of competitive spirit, so this certainly comes as a surprise. “Come on, Lemon! Play your last pathetic card!” she says with a huge grin on her face. Begrudgingly, I do as she says, and lay down my last card… And lose. “Ha! And just like that, goes the rest of your life points! Mwahahahaha!”

“Dammit, Pinkie!” I groan. “For the last time we, are playing Blackjack!” I say, pointing to the cards on the table.

“What’s your point?” she asks, giving me the most innocent smile I’ve ever seen on her face.

“Ugh… Never mind,” arguing with Pinkie about logic is like having an argument on the internet; you just end up losing regardless of what you do.

“Okay, Trixie has had it!” a fist slams on the table, and both Pinkie and I- I mean, Pinkie, jumps scared, I only turn to the source of the noise with an annoyed glance.. Yeah.

“Oh, you scared me, Trix!” Pinkie says relieved, looking at Trixie whose left eye is now twitching… She should get that checked.

“No! Trixie has had enough! We have been doing nothing but screwing around at lunch, and you haven’t even tried to get your ‘villains’ as you call them!” she says, angrily pointing at me.

“Oh, come on Trixie! You know full well I don’t have any leads!” I explain. “Well, unless we count that one time…”

“For the last time, Derpy is just sick, there is nothing she is really hiding!” Trixie growls.

“Well, excuuuse me if I had to make sure!” I tell her, I mean, I just know Derpy is hiding something in those eyes, I just know it.

“Can y’all just please get a room already? You two are acting like a married couple,” Applejack who has been sitting next to Pinkie this whole time interrupts. “Besides, what is this ‘villain’ thing you guys are talking about?”

“None of your business!” both Trixie and I reply, at least she has that right.

“Geez, well, excuse me, Ah’ll just go back to mah lunch,” she finishes before turning her chair to her tray.

“Oh, come on you two, don’t be so such sourpusses, we’ll find something, you’ll see!” Pinkie Pie assures Trixie as much as she assures me. She has been good at doing that.

“Oh, come on! She doesn’t even have to help us! I'm not forcing her to help at all, makes me wonder why she is even going with us,” I groan Trixie gives me a glare before slamming her other fist down on the table.

“For your informatinn, all Trixie cares is to have you as her assistant, and there is no quest that you must partake that will let you get away from the deal!” she explains. Dammit, why did she push that stupid deal on me?

“Come on guys! Can you stop fighting? For good old pie?” Pinkie tells us, holding two pies in her hands.
…
Wow… That was so not funny that even Fluttershy would cringe. I turn to Trixie who is holding the same unamused look that is more than likely on my own face.

“… Oh, come on! They can’t all be winners!” Pinkie says defending her terrible joke, shoving one of the pies into her face. Well, at least I’m glad that I’m not alone on the occasionally unfunny society.

President Lemon Lime has spoken.

“Attention students, this is a reminder that you must all go to the gymnasium for today’s pep rally, again, report to the gym for the pep rally, thank you all,” says a voice from the speakers, I easily recognize it as Celestia’s..

“A pep rally, huh?” I say to myself, reminding me of my own back in my old school. Oh, yes, the cheers, the barely practiced routines, the school spirit. Aaah… “Well, I’ll be skipping this pep rally, have fun gals!” I say to the girls, turning around and heading towards the exit… Or at least I WOULD if my arm wasn’t being held by a hyperactive teenage girl with pink skin.

“You can’t do that!” Pinkie says, pulling me back to the table.

“Trixie must say she agrees with green boy. It‘s just a handful of students showing off and pretending they are better than anybody else! Disgusting,” Trixie gets it… While missing the irony from her statement, but let‘s not focus on that.

“Come on, you two have to go! Where is your school spirit!” Pinkie says excitedly, doing a cartwheel that somehow allows her to keep her skirt upright.

I shrug. “I probably dropped it somewhere outside the school, let me go fin- Ouch!” I look at my arm where Pinkie just pinched me… It was worth a try.

“Please?” she begs, ignoring my obvious pain “It’ll be fun! We’ll be happy, and loud, and we’ll see Dashie’s performance a-”

“Did you say Dash?” I interrupt Pinkie, holding her shoulders and forcing her attention on me.

“Nope! I said Dashie!” she says. I let go and facepalm.

“Whatever. Rainbow Dash will be there, right?” she nods in confirmation and I feel my inner fan boy come out, I've been meaning to at least find her in this world, but I hadn’t had the time… Nor the energy… Nor the drive. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” I say, marching straight for the door.

“Well, you are not leaving without Trixie, she is coming too!” the third wheel groans, walking right behind us… Dammit, why can’t she leave me alone for five minutes?

~~~~~

Ten minutes later, Trixie, Pinkie, Applejack -who had decided to stay silent during the whole thing- and I, are already sitting on the bleachers at the gym, the divider between the second and first gyms has been opened to allow more room and give the whole school a better view... This school has everything.

“There you are!” I pick up a familiar snobbish tone and turn to my left to find Rarity and Fluttershy making their way through the seats. “Hello there, Lemon, been a while, I must say,” she greets me, smiling with that white face of hers… I don’t think I’ll be able to get over that.

“O-oh, hey, Rarity, indeed it has!” I greet back, I look behind her and wave to that one lady with the yellow skin and the borderline annoying shy behavior. “Hey Fluttershy,” she avoids my gaze and continues on to sit on the far end of the seats… Guess she is still a bit sore over what I said to Trixie, huh?

“Hey there, y’all, ready for Rainbow’s routine?” Applejack begins, conversing with the other two girls. I must say, it's rather interesting to be sitting with the majority of the elements plus Trixie… Never thought it would be possible in my lifetime.

I look at the court where I see Celestia talking with the staff of teachers, and occasionally, pretending to fix the audio with Vinyl Scratch who is messing with the different controls, I look to the sidelines where I see the cheerleaders, recognizing the familiar faces of Aloe and Lotus. I can easily play “find the human pony” for a good while here.

“So, Pat? You excited yet?” asks me Pinkie who is sitting uncomfortably close to me.

“Yeah, sure,” I say lazily, wondering why I didn't just ditch them when Celestia walks to the center of the court with a mic in hand.

“Good afternoon to you all, and welcome to the Autumn pep rally, as every year, we’ll hav-” blah, blah, blah, other stuff. Get to the point, woman. “And now, without further ado, we move on to the annual appreciation of our students and to showcase what they can do.”

Ugh, this is gonna be boring.

The next hour is spend having a few students going to the middle of the place, talent show style, I finally get a glance of human Octavia who plays a magnificently beautiful melody on her whatever-is-called, as well as the cheerleaders who do a terrible dance to an equally terrible song… Just like any high school, alright. The rest of the performances are rather dull and I end up not remembering much of them as Celestia finally takes the floor again.

“And now, for our final number before the second part of our rally, the captain of the soccer, basketball, volleyball, and track teams, will now perform for us!” Celestia says, and I’m sorry, I had to clean my ears, but did she just say this person was captain of four different teams? “And here she is; Rainbow Dash!” 

Okay, now I'm not so surprised.

I look at the court and see a bunch of kids coming out of the opposite doors, mixed in both male and female, I had heard that the teams were always mixed, but it’s sweet to see them for real. Lastly, I see the rainbow colored hair that I expected to see; she is wearing a blue jersey and a pair of blue shorts, she enters with a soccer ball in hand and walks towards the middle of the court, slowly putting the ball on the floor.

And then, silence.

“Um, Pinkie? What is she gonna d-” before I can finish, multiple pairs of hands pinch me, lightly slap me, and close my mouth… I feel violated…

Dash takes a deep breath and slips her foot under the ball, easily lifting it into the air, and without a second thought, begins juggling it. At first, the ball is being juggled here and there, but it doesn’t take too long for it to fall into a rhythm.

What is she attempting?

She turns around and faces the closest wall to her, she knees the ball harder, making it fly high -which is easy thanks to the huge ceiling of the place- and slowly, it falls. I feel myself following it, allured by the way it spins, and then… Rainbow kicks it with extreme force, the oddest thing of all, is when I hear the note of an acoustic guitar as she does.

“What the…” I lowly mouth, looking for the source, and finding none other than Flash 'I'm a jerk' Sentry sitting with said instrument, a microphone close by.

I don’t have time to focus on him though, as the ball returns and Rainbow juggles it once more, more notes being played by Flash as she does, I notice two other players approaching her, carrying two balls of their own and then, they toss them high in the air.

“No. Fucking. Way!” I say, I manage to see Pinkie holding my arm roughly as she stares at Dash, sweat falling down her brow, the other girls doing something similar with each other.

Then, the balls land by Dash and before I can fully comprehend what's happening, she smashes each, one after the other, just as Flash begins playing more complicated notes, I can’t help but stare with an open jaw as Dash kicks the balls to the wall, bouncing between them like a ballerina on ice skates, twisting her body in odd ways, never missing a beat, kicking the balls with different force, provoking a sets of rhythmic sounds that accompany Flash’s playing flawlessly.

“Get yourself, ready for thiis!” Flash begins, singing a rather familiar tune, Rainbow’s kicks never letting up.
“Wondercolts, taking over!
Giving our best, is our one task!
But only a way, we can do it~”

As he finishes the part of the song, Rainbow Dash opens her mouth. Oh, no way.

“Keep an, eye on the target,
It’s the path to succeed,
Rising, up to the challenges on our paaaths!
And all of, us Wondercolts,
Can beat the ones on the road
If we focus and keep o-ur eeeeeeeyes…~” As the part reaches that point, the soccer balls fly high into the air, landing into a straight line in front of Dash.

“On the taarget!~” Rainbow finishes, breathing with difficulty after the words leave her mouth, her chest rising and lowering heavily, looking at us, the audience, who all remain silent.

Not for long.

“Whooho! Go Rainbow Dash!” I shout loudly, the other girls look at me, breaking out of their stupor and joining me, soon after, the whole gym is bursting with shouts of excitement, and cheers. And I just, it was, oh god, well, I guess as Dash always says.

“That. Was. AWESOME!” I say the now familiar words, I turn to Trixie just to see her with the same stupid looking grin as the rest, she instantly composes herself and sits back down. D’aww, she looked kind of cute. “Ouch!” I say as she pinches me, what’s with people and pain inducing... Towards me?

“Wipe that grin off your mug, greenie!” she growls with arms crossed.

I turn right to see the girls rushing down the bleachers, I follow them but I stop as I see them give Dash a group hug, and I can’t help but stare at the warming scene… Which grows cold in like five seconds, but I don’t wanna ruin it for them.

“What are you waiting for? An invitation?” Trixie snarks, approaching me from the side.

“Nah… Just don’t want to ruin it,” I look around and see some people still on their seats. “By the way, why the hell is everyone else still here? Shouldn’t they be getting ready to go home?” Trixie looks at me, her eyes visibly questioning my questioning.

“There is a second part, the Principal said just as such… Wait, so have you not taken part on this kind of event before?” she asks me as if it were an obvious thing.

“If I said no would I sound less stupid?”

“Not at all,” shit.

“What is the second part all about anyway?” I ask her.

“If you must know, the superintendent will talk to the students about plans the school may have for the rest of the year,” she explains, and I guess that makes it easier to relay everything, but it’s still a pretty shitty thing.

“Ugh, that sounds annoying,” I say to her honestly..

“Indeed… Which is why Trixie isn’t staying,” I turn an amused glance towards her.

“You are skipping?” she nods.

“You may come if you truly wish it,” she suggests with a shrug.

“Tempting… But what about Pinkie?” .

“All you said was that you wanted to see that soccer diva, she’ll know. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?” … It was her who said it, not me!

“Well…“ I look at Pinkie who is happily jumping around, riding balloons, and popping out of illogically impossible to enter areas and I smile as I turn around, she should be fine without me. “Right, well… I guess it couldn’t hurt. Let’s go!” at that moment I decide to give the group one last look and I notice Pinkie staring at me, and for some reason, I find that the best action is to run outside the gym. Why am I… No time to think, keep running!

“What are y-” Trixie tries to complain, but I don’t allow her as we make our way to the double doors down the hall - and three hundred and seventy five steps from the weights room as stated by a sheet of paper on the wall- where we find ourselves outside where the soccer field is… I seem to end up here more often than not.

“Come on!” I don’t wait for a response as I lead us behind the familiar bleachers, sitting down behind them to take a breather… I seriously need to exercise more.

“Let. GO!” Trixie shrieks, taking her hand away from my sweaty palm, I hadn’t realized I had taken hold of her like that.

“Sorry, Trixie,” I lay down on the grass on the floor and breath easy, that was far easier than expected. “A successful escape, but…” I look around confused. “I don’t see any other skipping students.”

“That’s because everyone in this school is a goody-two shoes,” I can’t help but chuckle, didn't think Trixie was one for jokes.

A chill runs down my spine as I feel a cold draft hit me square in the face. “Brr.. October already, huh?” I say without even realizing it, and I unwillingly start to think of my time here… Four months now, one third of the year, around one twentieth of my total life spam so far… Not that it matters seeing how I’m like five years younger here.

Four months away from home... No, no! No sadness. Only indifference.

“Indeed… Winter is coming,” Trixie says in an off moment, I try not to snort and let the show-off have it. “So, what are we supposed to do here?” she asks, sitting down on her knees, as to get herself more comfortable.

“We can talk,” I suggest.

“That would imply Trixie, saying words, directed at you,” she shoots, taking out a book from her backpack. “I’ll just stick to my original plan,“ Well, fuck you too.

“Fine, you don't have to pull your hare out” I reply simply, making her snort.

“Really? Your response is a terrible pun?”

“Back off! I have more where that came from!” she rolls her eyes at my empty threat and returns to her book, leaving us in the silence of the field... Well, outside the occasional blaring sound of honks from cars passing by, and a few birds landing close by, but outside that it's very quiet.

“You know, I should be hating this spot…” I blurt out, instantly covering my mouth, Trixie gives me an intrigued look, putting her book down.

“Come now, do you think you can simply hide your secrets from the Magnificent, and Powerful, Trrrrixie?” there she goes again with the title change.

“Um, yes,” I simply respond, earning a frown in return. “But I will tell you that it has to do with a certain ‘Formal Princess’ and leave it at that,” I say, ending the conversation and returning my head to the comfortable spot on the ground.

I’m a bit concerned when I don’t get a response from her, but since me not raising my head to check isn‘t really getting me any results, I raise my head and see Trixie with a broken branch in her hands, her face showing a hint of red that I’m going to place twenty bucks that isn’t one of embarrassment.

“Um, Trixie? You okay?” I tentatively ask.

“That WHORE!” LANGUAGE, LADY!

“Woah, calm down! What about her?” I say, calming her down a bit, she takes deep breaths in an attempt to get out of bitchy mode, and after a few seconds, she seems much more stable. “I apologize, it’s just that Trixie does not really fancy Sunset Shimmer much.”

“You don’t say?” I prepare myself for an onslaught at my sarcastic remark, but it never comes, I open my eyes and see Trixie sigh wistfully.

“She was the first to make fun of Trixie’s attempts at magic…” she tells me with another very long sigh following it.

“Well, I made fun of it too…” I say, glancing sideways.

“Yes, but at least you apologized for it… In fact, you are the only one who has ever done that,” awwwww, she is having feelings again. “Not that it really matters in the long run with you becoming Trixie’s assistant in the future as extra payment,” woooow, way to kill it, Trixie.

The following seconds become excruciating as the conversation just dies. Being me, I instantly jump to the rescue.

“Soooo, wasn’t Rainbow Dash just amazing back there?” I say, remembering the excitement of it all, I can’t help but wonder how other people here can probably do better than that... It sends a chill down my spine.

“Ugh!” Trixie groans and slams her book shut, giving me an annoyed look. What did I do now!?

“What? What did I say?” I ask her, VERY carefully.

“Are you simply good at targeting what annoys Trixie or are you just stalking her?” I can feel a huge question mark on my brain at the question… What the hell does that mean?

“Huh?”

She sighs and holds her temples as if in pain. “Trixie tried-out for the spot on the pep rally, and she didn’t make it in… They didn’t see the magnificence of Trixie, of course,” she explains, adding her own mix to the explanat- Ooooh…. Shit, am I good at picking topics or what?

“Sorry… That was purely coincidental…” I apologize.

“Just like you two being here, right?” says a third voice out of nowhere, I turn and see a familiar woman with fiery looking hair.

“C-coach Spitfire! How?” Trixie says, looking straight at her, and not at me. So THAT’S why she looked familiar.

“Oh, you are one of the coaches?“ I say nonchalantly and extend my hand to her. “Well, it’s a pleasure to mee-

“Principal's office. Now,” she says curtly.

“… Yes, ma’am…” what can I say? She has a way with words.

~~~~~

“.. And furthermore, do you think this is right?”

“N-no…” I respond for the fifth time as Celestia is reprimanding Trixie and I for skipping, and I can’t really be angry… But I’m going to be angry anyway.

Thud, Thud! I hear the knock of the door -which coincidentally saves Celestia from an onslaught of anger from me. You got lucky sun-butt- and I look at the glass separating the office from the hallway, and I see her… Oh god, no way; the woman seems to be in her mid-thirties, and much like Luna and Celestia, she looks odd in comparison to the teens, her skin is a vibrant gray, and her hair a combination of both green and black strands, tied in a ponytail, donning a rather good looking dark suit with tie and all.

She looks slightly different, but her eyes alone say enough, those emerald green eyes of hers.

“Trixie?” I call to her on the seat next to mine, never leaving the sight of the woman.

“What?” she responds harshly in a subdued voice.

“Who is that?”

“Really?” she says looking annoyed. “That’s the superintendent Chryssa, why?”

…

Skipping made me miss seeing her in the rally... I want to scream but the words are stuck in my throat.

...

Time seems to slow down as I watch her shaking hands with Celestia then walks away, this is the point where I get off my seat and rush to the door, but I’m promptly stopped by a pair of hands holding me back.

“Where do you think you are going?” says Luna, the owner of said hands.

“Let me go! I need to talk to the superintendent!“

“Not on my watch you are not, you are in a lot of trouble,” why. Can’t. I. Get free!? Since when was Luna this strong?

"Aaaaah let me go!"

I only watch at the outside window as Chryssa enters her car and leaves the school grounds, I feel like crying now. Why did you stop me, Luna?

…

I knew there was a reason why I thought Luna was worst Princess.

Author's Note:

The title has got to be the best part of this.

Really NOT my best chapter, I will admit, as this is more of a transition/introduction/Dash introduction than anything.

Still, hope you enjoyed the back-and-forth as well as the small story development I put, I tried my best here.

Anyway, next chapter should be more fun... For me, as I've been wanting to do it for a while now.

Right. Well, until the next update!

Comments

[Nova Nexus]

As "Chryssa" left in the car and drove away I could hear Pat's spirit being crushed.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Ugh, pep rallies. I always hid in the library.

Interesting choice for superintendent. Poor Pat; he just can't win, can he?

Looking forward to more.

[Ditz]

3718990 Really? I always assumed that his spirit had been broken since I began writing him.

[Nova Nexus]

3722180 Yeah, but one day...he's gonna snap and he is going to actually physically hurt The Superintendent, Principal Celestia/Luna, Trixie, Flash, and maybe even Pinkie.

3721008 I just go so I can scream out my stress and frustrations to the world.

[TOECUTTER]

MORE

[Salnax]

I remember pep rallies!

I usually just got detention or whatever so I didn't have to attend them. I was often sleep deprived, so there were few real downsides.

[Powerfull3000]

. . .