I just wanted to go to Equestria!

by Ditz

Scary Gift Candy Night

“…And after signing the Declaration of Liberation, our founding fathers added a new government to aid their frustrations.”

I yawn with the boredom that is expected from the average Joint States History class that I’ve grown to despise, ignoring the teacher has become a thing, since when I look at the notes on my notebook I see them as only a bunch of lines, nothing comprehensible… Why is talking in confusing rhymes permitted? This kind of stuff should be omitted.

… That rhyming was totally coincidental, something completely accidental...

Gah!

“Big Mac is your cue, a question just for you.” I raise my head at the mention of the name, and I look to my neighboring seat, seeing the guy with the reddish skin and the orange hair and the one who I met like a week ago, but that doesn't matter right now.

“Eeyup?” he replies, making me cringe. Damn, I hate that word now.

“I will give you an applause, if you tell me who one of our founding parents was,” 'hi, I like to speak in rhymes, and using too many syllables to do it is one of my crimes'. but to be fair, that must be difficult to do.

I'm getting off-topic.

All that matters is that he will finally talk, he’ll say something outside that annoying ‘eeyup/eenope’ combo of his.

Mac. Will. TALK.

“Eeey-”

“Good afternoon, students,” screw you, Luna. “This is just a reminder for you all to be careful, as we all know, tonight is that one special night of the year where many of you… Okay, not most of you. But some of you go out and get candy. *yawn* If you do, however, be wary of strangers, and most importantly, remember that it’s a school night. Don’t stay up too late. Thank you, and have a fun *yaaaaaawn* night.”

Luna's tired voice cuts off and the teacher sighs before turning to Big Mac once more .“Now to get back to business, as it‘s just a matter of minutes, can you answer my question, before the end of our session?” thank you, persistent teacher!

“Eeey-”

RIIIIIIIIIING!

OH, COME ON!

We all get our stuff ready and prepare to exit the class, as the final bell tells us to get the hell out at las- The building!… And while that’s not really the case, I always feel that I should be kicked out when it rings.

As I exit, I watch Big Mac walk away, his repertoire of words uninterrupted, and without a care in the world… “I’ll get you to talk one day… Just you wait and see, you punk…” I look to my side and see an eyebrow raised Fluttershy.

“Um…” she mumbles and stops her questioning look as she realizes that I’m now staring at her. “I’m sorry…” she apologizes. I can’t help but chuckle.

“What? You are gonna talk to me now? What happened to you ignoring me?” she flinches as I direct my words at her, but she doesn’t seem to respond. “So?” I await, and I see her lips tremble.

“Are you, um… Interested in, um… Big Mac…?” she asks, or at least I think so, she is being her annoyingly shy self once again.

“Well… I guess you could say that?” I reply, I guess a guy talking to the leaving figure of someone else must be interested in them in one way or another.

She gasps, her face turning a light red, she slowly backs away, and runs toward the opposite end of the hall, crashing into some random guy, then apologizing and running off again… That was weird.

Maybe she does have a crush on Big Mac and wants me to help her? Who knows? And honestly, who cares? It's time to go home.

I exit through the front double doors and find my eyes being covered by a pair of hands, but I’m not this surprised when this is a recurring thing.

“Pinkie Pie, I know it’s you,” I say with a sigh, I feel the hands dropping and the culprit turning around and facing me, I find myself surprised when it's Trixie and not Pinkie in front. Pinkie pops out of the stairs nearby and fist-pumps.

“Yay! Finally! I win this one! Pinkie one! Pat, fifty-eight!” she cheers happily, not noticing the fact that she has one fifty-eighth of the total number. The devil is in the details.

“Uh huh… So you helped her with this, Trixie?” I say with a smirk, she shrugs and gives me a smirk of her own.

“Trixie just wanted to see you lose, nothing you should be surprised about,” I should have figured that.

“Right, so, straight to business… What have you two found out?” I ask the pair, they look at each other and shrug. “What!? But how is that possible!?” I say as we walk down the steps and go towards the bus stop.

“Oh, wait, I DID find something!” Pinkie says enthusiastically. “No, wait, that was for my new cake recipe… Never mind!~” Pinkie says mockingly as she pounds the top of her head. How funny, I forgot to LAUGH.

“And Trixie has found nothing while practicing her magic,” she says while pulling her hat out from her backpack.

“Wow, Trixie, be careful, you might break a nail,” I let the venom in my words drip, Trixie grabs her hat and pops it open obnoxiously close to my face, donning it once more as we stop by the buses.

“Well, EXCUSE Trixie for having a very important hob- I mean, job! Besides, didn’t you look up anything yourself?” she gets all indignant on me and I almost let my rage smack her upside the head, but I remain from doing so, I don’t think cops would take kindly to the abuse.

“Trixie… I. Was. Grounded! Unlike you! No computer access at all, even my phone was taken till today! That’s why I asked you! And to remind you, this all happened thanks to you!”

“What!? First of all, Gran Gran sees Trixie’s grades -which are advanced placements grades, by the way- as a more important factor than a silly pep rally, that’s why she wasn’t grounded. And second, Trixie invited you, but she didn’t force you! Besides, she is still trying to figure out how coach Spitfire even got us! Trixie had never been found in that spot before…”

“Guys!” Trixie and I jump, as Pinkie glares at us, her mouth hanging open after her shout. “There is no need to fight! Come on! Let’s just forget that incident, what‘s the point thinking of the past when the present is happening… Ooh, now it‘s the past! And now it‘s the past again! And again! And a-…!” I want to say otherwise, but I have to agree… Pinkie has a point. Thankfully, Trixie seems to agree as well as she no longer has a single retort to give.

“Right.. Ahem! Well, um... You guys ready for tonight? Caaandy!” I say as a way to get on a less stressing topic… It doesn't feel like it's working with those looks they are giving me.

“Pat… We aren’t kids,” Trixie says with a dignified nod.

“Y-yeah… It’s for kids, yeah…” Pinkie says reluctantly… Oh, Pinkie.

“Pinkie Pie, do you wanna go… Um,” I stop. Is it Halloween? Or is it Nightmare Night? I can’t fuck it up… “Um, you wanna go get free candy while wearing costumes?” nailed it.

Pinkie looks shocked for a second before lowly mouthing words. “N-no! Rainbow Dash said it was lame, so, yeah, n-no, I don‘t!” she says defensively. “I’m not being defensive!” she retorts before I can say anything, she has the face of a junkie who has been off the drugs for a while. Kinda sad how others opinions affect the teenage mind like that.

“You know… I’m going to go get candy…” I say nonchalantly, slightly poking the ground with my foot. “It’ll be fuuun~” I add, and she seems to be holding herself back, breathing erratically at my words.

“B-but I’m already sixteen! I can’t be doing that, P-P-Pat…” she manages with some effort, it’s funny to see Pinkie say something like that.

You won't last, peer pressure works both ways, sister.

“Pink woman, just give in, he is offering you candy… If you want, Trixie will go as well… It will be a chance for her to show off her special outfit,” I look at Trixie after she finishes her sentence and leave my mouth hanging open. Who are you, and what have you done with Trixie?

“Guh…" she begins moaning, her whole body vibrating in a very erratic way, sorta like what static looks like on a TV.

I realize what's happening and take a couple steps back. "Trixie, you might want to step back a bit."

She looks at me as if I'm going crazy, shaking her head. "What are yo-"

"YEEEEES!” Pinkie shouts at full volume, jumping high into the air, then suddenly appearing behind me. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I thought I wouldn’t be able to go anymore! No one else wanted to go… But why do you want to go? You are even older than me!” Pinkie points out in one of her rather astute moments of hers.

"Well, I-"

"Oh, who cares! Candy is always a good reason to trick-or-treat!" Pinkie interrupts before I can put a word in. “Ooh! I can’t wait! And I already have the costume in mind! Okay, meet me at my place at seven! Ooh! This is gonna be fun!” before I have time to notice what’s happened, she rushes away, leaving a trail of smoke and a ghost of her behind that reflects her overly happy smile.

“Um…” Trixie begins. “She didn’t even tell us where her house i-” a ring from her pocket and a buzzing from my own stops her on her tracks, I take out my phone and see directions, signed off by ‘meet me here’ and a smiley face at the end, I look at Trixie who shakes her head in confusion at what I’m assuming to be the same message as mine.

“Well… I guess we have plans, huh?” I tell Trixie, holding out my phone, she only looks from her phone to Pinkie’s form in the distance.

“Trixie is wondering how she managed to learn her cell phone number,” she says confused.

“Oh, Trixie, don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” I say waving her goodbye and heading for my bus.

~~~~~

Lights.

Just about everywhere, passing like a flash as my ride continues, the different Nightmare night decorations strewn around the buildings -shoutout to internet search for telling me the name of the holiday- It’s interesting to see how much… Not different they are to my usual world’s arrangement… Wait, I meant to say ‘boring’ not ‘interesting’.

“So… Trick-or-treating?” dad says from the driver‘s seat, I expected this topic at some point.

“Yes, dad. Trick-or-treating, is there… A problem?” I reply in mock understanding, dad sighs as he pulls a stop and runs his hand through his hair in exasperation.

“It’s just that… Well, don’t take it too personally, but… Don’t you think you might be a… Little too old for this?” there it is.

“Look, dad? Pinkie, and I are just going t-”

“Pinkie? Oh, so you are going out with your girlfriend, huh?” he looks at me with a smirk and nods, he ruffles my hair and focuses on the road as the traffic lights turn green again

“Dad, for the last time, she is not my girlfriend!” it feels like we’ve had this conversation countless times before. Possibly because we have. “Besides, it’s not only us, it’s Trixie as well!” the GPS lights up as we reach our destination, the sign ‘Sugarcube Corner’ plastered on the outside window.

“Oh… Trixie, huh? That’s a new name.“

“Um, yeah? I guess?“ I say with a bad taste in my mouth.

“I like that name, sounds exotic… Reminds me of my school day-“

“Dad, I don’t want to know about your school days, please?“ he stops, bursting into laughter at my request, but nodding in acknowledgement.

“Well, well, looks like my little man is becoming a man, huh? Building his own harem of sorts?” WHAT!?

“Dad! Come on!” I growl as he lets the engine running and grins some more. “Seriously, it’s not like that!” he returns his hands to the wheel as I exit the car and slam the door shut, I turn and see the window rolling down and he sticks out his head so I can listen to more of his teasing words.

“Just call when you want to be picked up, just don’t be out too late… And don’t worry, son, I won’t tell your mom,” and with a final wink, he pulls out into the road and leaves.

…

“I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT! ARRGH!”

“Anything like what?”

“Jesus!” I turn around at the voice, finding a fully coated Trixie, giving me the eye, and yeah, I mean that eye. “How much did you hear?”

“Pretty much all of it,” she says simply. Oh God.

“It’s not… What you think…” I try to explain.

“What do you think Trixie is thinking?” she asks with a shit-giving grin… That shit-giving grin… She is giving me the whole repertoire, dammit.

“Look, all that matters is that I’m here, and that my dad is a class A pervert, so can we just leave it at that and meet Pinkie?” her gaze doesn’t tell me much, but I can already feel her next insult coming to complete the train wreck. “Look, I don’t see girls that way, okay?”

“Huh?” she says, looking off-put. “Wow, um, guess you don‘t then…” she turns to the side, avoiding my gaze. “Um, could she have been right?” she whispers on her own.

“Who could have been right?” she yelps at my question and waves her hand.

“Never mind, let us go then,” she walks away from me, a conflicted look on her face… The hell was that?

Well, whatever.

I follow right behind her, approaching ‘Sugarcube Corner’ I feel a bit overwhelmed over the place actually existing, but not too surprised. Nothing can surprise me to that extent in this place.

“Sugarcube Corner, huh?” Trixie says, reading the name on the window. “Trixie has never heard of this place.”

“Funny, I’ve never heard of YOUR FACE!” I reply with a growl.

“What’s your problem?” she asks defensively. Whoops, fanboyism might have gone a bit higher than I expected it to.

“Sorry, just… Feeling a bit sore about earlier,” I say, the grin returning to her face. Heaven forbid she doesn’t grin.

“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” says a recognizable voice whose figure I quickly catch. Mrs Cake, eeyup, definitively her by the looks of her blue skin, pudgy self, and pinkish hair. She is very much like I imagined her to be, and to be honest, so does the place; a couple of cushioned seats by the side, some tables here and there, a small bar with a window with a few of the products they sell. The usual bakery fare.

“How may I help you?” she says, giving us that smile that only a saleswoman like her would.

“Um, actually, we are here looking for Pinkie Pie, I think she works here, right?” my question asked, she gives me a more genuine smile, reaching out from the counter and running to us.

“Oh, you must be Lemon and Trixie! Yes, glad to meet you both! I‘ve heard about you!” we nod and she shakes both of our hands before taking us to a table. “Don’t worry, Pinkie is just getting ready, she’ll be out in a few minutes,” she runs back to her counter and goes to the back, leaving the store unattended… Not that it matters, seeing how empty it is right now.

“So… Where is your costume?” I ask Trixie while we pass the time.

“Why, here, of course!” she gets on her feet and unzips her jacket, letting it fall back, giving me a full view of her outfit.

And BOY, what an outfit.

“You like?” I manage to hear through my baffled thoughts.

It has the look of an RPG videogame battle armor, dark, and full of pointless add-ons like rings and whatnot… For females, which basically means it shows exposed skin in all the right places, after being here for months, I can safely say that I’ve gained appreciation for this place's female bodies… And BOY, is it a body, alright.

“W-wow…” I say with all honesty. I can’t really say something bad to that outfit, you win this round, Trixie.

“Trixie thought so,” she says happily, taking out an extendable baton from her pocket… Wooh! Is it just me? Or is it hot here?

“Wow, Trixie! You look stunning!” Pinkie’s voice says out of nowhere, I turn to meet her and my face stops as it takes notice.

A pair of pony ears, a fluffy tail behind her, and a cute little snout spouting out where Pinkie’s mouth used to be, she is wearing some sporty looking clothing that looks normal, but the additions are certainly noticeable.

“P-Pinkie?” I call, she salutes me and jumps, the added tail bouncing around with her very cutely.

“So? What do you think?” she asks me, getting closer, I can see the markings of the snout in her mouth, they are nearly indistinguishable from a distance, but now that she is close, I can see them, but still…

“I… I…” I mumble. “Why are you…”

“Oh! Well, I loved the idea of magical talking ponies so much, that I couldn’t help but try out a costume from what you told me! And it’s just so… Eeeeh!” a barrage of streamers exploding right behind her. “Sorry, Mrs. Cake, I’ll clean it up!”

“It’s okay, Pinkie, you look too great for me to be mad, I'll clean it up,” Mrs. Cake calls from the counter, smiling happily at Pinkie. “Come on dear, why don’t you give me a twirl?” Pinkie spins like she says, grinning like crazy as she does so, and, well, I have had enough and…

I dash in.

I'm now hugging Pinkie.

I'm now rubbing my cheek against her cute cheeks.

I just... My goodness she is just so adorable!

“Pinkie, you are SO cute!” I gush loudly at that anthropomorphic look of hers

What can I say? I love adorable shit like that.

“Um… P-Pat? You can stop now, p-please? Tee hee! Stop, that tickles!” Pinkie says, a noticeable blush appearing on her face… This just makes me want to hug her even more.

“Ahem… Trixie believes the pink one requires some personal space, Lime,” Trixie says, her voice being noticeably controlled, probably affected by what she is seeing.

Someone doesn’t like when others are the center of attention, it seems.

I let go of Pinkie, she jumping back a few feet, possibly thinking I would ‘attack’ her again. Smart girl.

“So… Ahem… That was a thing!” she says, getting her composure after my killer... Whatever I just did.

“Y-yeah…” I barely reply, a blush mimicking hers on my own face… Might have gone over a little bit there.

“So… Where are you kids going?” Mrs. Cake calls from the counter, scaring us all, gazing upon us and giving me an especially cold look. I had completely forgotten she was there.

“Um… You know? Candy and whatnot, nothing much!” I reply, she only nods in acknowledgment.

“… Okay then, have fun, you kids! Don’t stay up too late, and no shenanigans, you hear?” she says, her happy fake smile returning, her looking at me directly as she says that, returning to her precious counter.

We exit the shop and I manage a breath of relief after that awkward moment before, I look back at the place and a question comes to mind.

“Hey, Pinkie, so you live here?” I shoot instantly.

“Here? Of course not! Who would live in a bakery! Well, a lot of people would, but not me!” it’s a nearly instantaneous answer from her, but I suppose things from this place can’t really be the same as the show’s, I guess she just came here to prepare from her parent’s house… Great, NOW I want to see her parents… But candy is more important right now.

“Very well, Pink, where to?” Trixie asks, turning to Pinkie who seems awfully giddy all of a sudden.

“You'll see! Follow… Me!” we walk to a nearby car and I see Pinkie get some keys out of her hair.

“Wait, you know how to drive?” I ask her, she looks from side to side before looking at me confused.

“You didn’t think I knew? Well, I DO know!” she pouts before reaching into her hair again and taking out a permit with a picture of her and her large smile plastered on it.

“Well, proven wrong. Sorry, Pinkie,” I admit, and a grin from her is all it takes to make the awkwardness go away as seamlessly as rain in the fire... I think. Similes aren't my thing, really.

“It’s okay! It’s not my car anyway, it’s the Cakes’, but they let me borrow it, for emergencies and days like this, or things like that time I wanted to catch the ice cream ma-”

“Can we just go then!?” Trixie groans, her patience running thin. “WHERE are we going anyway?”

“To my Super Special Area of Getting Candy Goodness, of course! Or SSAGCG for short!”

Without any further stalling, we get in the car. After some momentarily awkward moment of seatbelts and misplaced items, we are ready to leave.

“Ready, guys?” Pinkie asks. We, as the passengers, of course, nod the go-ahead.

And before we know it, the car rushes out at the speed of sound.

“Holy shit!” I say loudly, getting a glare from the pair in front, and while that may have been uncalled for, it‘s much better than my first thought of ‘holy shit Pinkie, calm your tits!’ I really don‘t think that one would have boded well with her… “P-Pinkie? Who taught you how to d-drive?” I ask from the backseat.

“’Taught?’”? she responds, looking at me weird through the mirror.

“Um… So you went to classes then?”

“Classes? What classes?” she asks, making my concern grow ever greater. I’m afraid to continue but I press on.

“Um… How many tries did it take you?”

“First go, and the instructor looked so shaken! I think I amazed her with my driving! Apparently I can manage to remain at the limits of the law... Or something like that.” she says looking pleased with herself.

Wait, so does that mean...

"Red light!" shouts Trixie, Pinkie hitting the break full-force, making me for the first time in my over twenty years of life, be thankful for the existence of seat-belts in both universes. I look outside and see the car parked neatly, waiting for the light.

Pinkie CAN drive at the very limits of the law...

“Um…” I try to think of something to say.

“Green!” Trixie shouts cutting me short, the light turning green in front of us, coincidentally, Trixie is looking at me. Oh wait, I think she is talking to me.

“Y-yes, Trixie?” I ask with my fear still existent.

“S-shut up,” it’s much more a request than a demand, her voice shaky beyond what I would imagine.

She knows, and she fears.

“Yes, ma’am!”

We are so dead.

~~~~~

After ten horrifyingly terrifying minutes, we finally come to a full stop, I can barely feel what’s going on, I think Pinkie is telling me to get out of the car, I do as she may have said and fall to the ground after the door has been opened for me.

I wanna throw up.

Barely holding it.

My legs feel like jelly.

My life is flashing before my eyes.

911 someone please.

“Come on, Pat! Get up! Candy awaits!” I manage to finally hear Pinkie calling.

“Can’t I just die in peace here? Because I sure would love that right about now…” I reply, I feel myself being pulled on my feet, Pinkie cleaning the dust off my clothes once I'm up.

“Don’t be such a party pooper! Come on!” she stares at me for a few seconds, looking me up from top to bottom. “I just realized this, but you aren’t wearing a costume, Pat!”

“Of course I am! It’s the ‘I’m a rebel who wears no costume’ costume!” I reply with a serious face. Pinkie only delivers a flat look in return.

"Oh, then very nice costume! Very realistic!" she says her judging stare becoming bright eyed

“Right, so, anyway, where is Trixie?” I ask.

“Oh, she is over there by the bushes!”

“What is she doing in the bu-” ‘Gah! Burp, urgh…’ “Um... Never mind.” I guess she didn't manage to leave it in.

“So, are you guys ready now? Or how about now? Maybe you were ready ten point three seconds ago?” Pinkie asks, her fluffy tail raising itself on its own while she bounces around excitedly… I’ve learned to not question these things.

“Trixie is about as ready as she will be… You are lucky she didn’t get any bile on her costume!” Trixie returns from her ill-fated trip to tell Pinkie.

“Oh, you just have a weak stomach, Trix! Nothing that candy can't solve. Come on you two! Follow me!” I look at Trixie who in return looks at me.

“Don’t worry, I’m not either,” I say in understanding, while we both look towards the death trap that is supposed to be a car.

“Come on, already!” Pinkie calls us from a gate nearby.

We take the short walk to the place, the gate looks much bigger than it looks from afar, behind it, I see an array of houses that can only be classified as ‘rich fodder’, to the side of the gate there is a padlock, with a speaker installed, a bunch of numbers plainly set on it, and some sort of speaker phone of sorts to the side.

“Pinkie, what are we doing in a plainly richer neighborhood?” I ask her, as she presses numbers on the pad.

“Getting candy, of course!” once she finishes, the door slowly crawls open, allowing us a better view of the place. “Silly.”

“What are you…” I silently begin, questioning what she is doing.

“Rarity lives here! I asked her if we could get candy here, and she said yes, she gave me the number and ta-dah! Candy city!” she explains… Pinkie, you are a genius.

“Well, what are we waiting for? There is candy to get!” Trixie shouts excited. I give her an amused look while she clears her throat. “Ahem.. She means, um… Let us go get some sweets to enjoy, yes? Trixie needs to show off her costume.”

And without further ado, we rush in, ready for the sugar rush that is to come. Once inside, I notice the street dividing into three roads.

“Alright, everyone!” Pinkie shouts, and I’m suddenly dragged into what appears to be a huddle circle, Pinkie wearing one of those coach hats with headset and all over her fake ears. “Alright everyone, get ready to go, Trixie, you take left, Pat you take right, and I take center, we meet back in an hour, everyone ready? Hut, hut hut!” and without anything further, she rushes out onto her street, leaving a pair of dumbfounded friends.. Dumbfounded. Sorry, I’m far too dumbfounded to think better shit.

“Did you… Catch that?” I ask Trixie, who still seems a bit lost.

“Y-yes, Trixie understood, but… She thought we’d do it together…” Trixie says, zipping her jacket up.

“I did too, I imagined that was the point of us being here…” I look at her, noticing her shaking knees and wonder, “Are you okay, Trixie? Cold? Embarrassed, perhaps?” I ask, looking at her curiously, approaching her to look at her face to make sure.

“No!” she shouts, not after having slapped me. An obvious 'ouch' is in order, but I'm not giving her the satisfaction of my pain “In fact, she will get the most candy by using her feminine charms, just you wait and see!” and without another word, she rushes to her street, leaving me on my… Own. Huh.

About damn time I got some Patrick time.

I set off into the direction Pinkie so graciously chose for me and look at the houses… There is a LOT, and I do mean a lot… Screw going into all of them.

“Eenie, meenie, miney… Mo,” I say, pointing out to a non-specific house to my right, a sign post that reads ‘Spring Breeze‘ on it, and like a girl scout who wants to earn her next badge, I rush headlong to the place, I pass by a good number of kids and their mothers who give me an odd look, but screw their opinions, this is candy, bro!

Knock, knock! I knock loudly, taking upon the sights of the house as I wait, for some reason, the pumpkins in the front have hats on… Weird.

The door opens and I introduce myself, holding out my bag in front of me. “Trick or treat! Give me candy just to eat!”

“Pat?” the woman who opens the door says my name out loud… How does she know my name?

“Do I kno- aaah!” I yelp as I notice the person who opened the door; Rarity, wearing what’s probably a self-made dress, adorned with what appears to be pumpkins and some bones here and there. Pinkie DID say she lived here. Luck of mine finding her in the first house.

“Evening, Mr. Lime, how are we doing this fine evening?“ she greets me with a welcoming grin.

“Hey… Rarity, sorry, didn’t expect to see you here, ahem…” I say apologetically.

“Well, this IS my home, and my living residential area, and I’m pretty sure Pinkie told you about it when you came here… Speaking of, where is the dear? She was quite excited to be able to go trick-or-treating that I offered my neighborhood to her. Not to mention that I wanted to see her with the costume I made for her, don‘t tell me she already left!” she says looking slightly disappointed after explaining the hnngtastic costume Pinkie wore.

“We just got here, actually, and she took one of the streets, we separated because… Pinkie said so, I guess,” I say vaguely, can’t really explain what cannot be explained to begin with.

“I see…” she replies with interest.

“So, how come you aren’t up and about with her?” I inquire curiously.

“Well, I do wish I could, but someone has to give out candy, my dear, and with my little sister being out with her friends trick-or-treating, and my parents being out of town, I had to sacrifice my night to stay home, Pinkie understood,” she explains, looking at the ground guiltily.

In translation: “I’m far too old for candy, and this is just an excuse.”

“You mean Sweetie Belle, right?” I ask already knowing the answer, I hadn’t heard much of the Crusaders from either of them, so listening to Rarity talk about her is certainly interesting. Wonder what they look like.

“How do you know her?” she asks looking at me dubiously.

“I’ve heard of her from… Pinkie, yeah,“ I explain, looking to the side, avoiding her piercing gaze.

“I see…“ she says, pushing a bang of her hair aside. “Well, anyway, what did you think of the costume Pinkie wore, Pat? It must have been sexy, right?”

“Sexy? I tell you what it was, it was adorable, the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! You really did a good job with it!” I praise without remorse, she might get a big head, but hey, she already has one.

"Oh, um, why, thank you,” she says awkwardly holding her arm. “I guess she really was right after all… Poor dear.”

“Pardon? Right about what?” I ask, growing suspicious at her whispered words.

“O-oh, nothing at all! Um, here you go, candy just for you!” she says rapidly pouring a whole bag of the things in my bag. “Ta-ta!”

Slam!

“Goodbye…“ Was that rude of her? Probably. But who cares, there is candy in my bag. Generosity cures all. “Thanks for the candy… I guess!” I shout, waving to the closed door and skipping down the stairs. I guess the ride goes on.

I continue my journey with varying degrees of success, I don’t get quite as much candy as I did with Rarity, as people are just prejudicing me.

Can’t a high school student with no costume just get some good candy?

I make it to my tenth house and knock just like before, a man with purple skin meets me, and I gotta say that that shirt he is wearing does NOT go with that skin tone, nuh uh.

“Trick or treat!” I say forcibly, it gets old after a while.

“Aren’t you too old to be collecting candy?” he asks with a raised brow.

“Yes, yes I am.” I reply with my most serious face.

…

“Well played, kid,” he grabs a handful of candy and shoves it into my bag. “Have fun with your cavities,” he says smiling devilishly before closing the door.

I look at my bag and frown. “I don’t wanna eat candy anymore…”

Beep! JESUS! I reach into my pocket and see that fifty five minutes of my hour limit have passed, I shove the phone back and run towards the street where Pinkie went off to.

It takes me a while to look around, but soon enough, I see a familiar pink form in the distance, her pink skin, her fluffy tail, her… Long, straight, hair? Wait. Something is wrong, very wrong. I start running towards her, finding her staring at a door with her back facing me.

“Pinkie?” I call out to her, slowly making my way to her still form, I reach out with my hand, and place it on her shoulder, but she doesn’t budge, with some reservations, I make my way around her. “Did something ha-”

“Oh, hi Pat!” surprised, I fall to the ground with a pained rasp. I look up to find Pinkie smiling, her hair back in full force, however, I see a gleam coming closely from her eyes, a gleam that’s pretty obvious on what it is.

“Pinkie Pie… What happened?” I say, while I feel my voice becoming strained as I get on my feet, she looks at me oddly and reaches up to her eyes where she feels the wetness on her eyes, she closes her eyes and sighs wistfully.

“I-it’s okay, Pat, it was just some huge jerk that lives here, I’m okay now, really.” she says while drying her cheeks.

“Pinkie…” I begin, feeling angry for some reason. “Tell me now, who?”

“Pat. It’s okay, just calm down, please? For me, we have candy to get remember?” she says, attempting to calm me down… And I suppose I don’t gain anything with it… It’s good to have some adult mentality at times like this.

“Okay, fine… How about we stick together then, you know? The ORIGINAL plan?” I say reminding her of it. She gasps terrified at my words.

“By George, you are right!” she grabs my hand and drags me along, taking me to Trixie’s general direction, as she does, I look at the door behind; ‘1200, Bright Garden Street’ I'm coming back to this place at some point. A 'talk' is much needed, I think.

Nyah, nyah, ny- I hear out of nowhere an- Oof! I crash on Pinkie who is unfazed as she checks her phone, which I’m assuming is where the noise came from… I need to ask about that ringtone at some point.

“Pinkie? Something the matter?” I ask, looking at her face, stuck in a state of shock. “Pinki-”

“Oh no!" she shrieks, grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Ah!"

"Aah!"

"Ah! What!? WHAT!? WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!?" I shout confused.

"This isn’t good!” she looks at me terrified and grabs my hand once more, dragging me faster than she had been doing before.

“Trixie, Trixie,” she says to herself, I can’t help but feel a little lost.

“Pinkie, what’s going on?” I asks growing increasingly worried.

“There she is!” she says, pointing at Trixie… Doing magic tricks in a corner, a good handful of kids watching in awe.

“... And for her last act, she will now find a coin in one of the members of the audi- Hey!” she complains as we push her aside. “One does not simply steal the spotlight from the Splendid, and Powerful Trixie!” there she goes again, I’m hoping she runs out of synonyms sometime soon.

“But Trix, we have go, go, go!” Pinkie shrieks, jumping in the air with each subsequent word.

Trixie stomps in, her hands in fists. “Trixie has to finish the finale! You can’t really expect her to-”

Before we know it, Pinkie jumps in, she pulls out a quarter from a pocket and shows it to the kids, she flips her fingers, and just like that, it disappears, she shows her hands to the kids and leaves them out.

“Check your ears!” she calls, and the kids all do as she says, I’m awestruck to see when each pulls out a different quarter from the side of their ears, all looking amazed at Pinkie Pie and clapping glamorously. “Thank you, thank you! Now got to go, bye!” and without any further words from us, she grabs our hands and drags us away.

~~~~~

After a few minutes of running, we are standing at the entrance once more, Trixie and I breathing heavily, Pinkie not even panting, we turn to face each other, and the obvious question comes to mind.

“WHAT. HOW. WHY. EXPLAIN!” I say, gasping between each word.

“Oh, well… YOU. SEE. IT’S. A. LONG. ST-” Pinkie’s mouth is stopped as Trixie places her hand in her
mouth.

“Before you continue, Trixie must ask you… How did you accomplish that trick!?” she snarls at Pinkie, clearly forgetting the whole reason we were dragged here.

“Oh! Well, a magician NEVER reveals her secrets… But as luck would have it, I’m not a magician! So I’ll teach you my tricks later, okay?” Pinkie promises Trixie giving her a warm smile, while Trixie returns a half-smile of her own. She is obviously happy about this.

“Can we get to the point?” I ask Pinkie, who now focuses her attention on me… Or about as much attention as this girl can handle.

“Sure! The point is that I found superintendent Chryssa’s home! She lives here.”

…

“WHAT!? HOW. WHY. EXPLAIN!?” Trixie and I shout in unison.

“Well, you see, I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this girl‘s COUSIN-”

“Pinkie!” I shout again, my thoughts a frenzy of emotions, I grab my head, and I feel a headache coming. “Just… Please.”

“I know a guy!” she says simply.

“What guy?” I ask, hoping for more.

“A guy, you don’t know him,” she replies holding a slightly dark look on her face… Woah, that was scary.

“Right, sure… Ahem,” I cough, attempting to get the conversation back on topic. “So, that’s great!”

“Well… That was the good news, I still have the bad news to give!” I feel a vein in my head, a rush of anger filling me, but I restrain my anger for the meantime, as I give her the go-ahead. “She is moving… To another state, Lulu told me all about it today,” okay… Anger returning.

“Okay… That’s okay, we have time, right?” Trixie asks for me.

“Well…” Pinkie, oh god. “My guy says she is moving… Tomorrow morning…”

“I… I think I’m gonna pass out…” I say, tumbling down to the ground. “Why didn’t you tell us?” I ask, hoping to know her reasoning.

“My guy just told me! I wanted to learn where she lived exactly and then surprise you another day, I didn’t mean to be too late!” she cries out, her eyes watering slightly.

“N-no, it’s okay, we can still do this, all we gotta do is… Visit her home, right now!” Trixie suggests. “That way Trixie can finally prove you both wrong,” always keeping your eye on the target, huh, Trix?

“Sounds like a plan! Road trip!” Pinkie shouts, grabbing our hands -as stated by no one in rule ‘whatever, article nth’-and dragging us along with her.

As we run, I start to converse with Pinkie. “Hey, Pinkie?”

“Yeeeeeeeah, Pat?” she responds gleefully.

“How did you get Luna to tell you?” she looks at me without blinking.

“I asked, silly!” thanks Pinkie, I didn’t expect any less from you.

After a plain five minutes, we finally arrive at what appears to be a cul-de-sac from afar, as we get closer, I see a car passing by us, it looks familiar, I fear what that car may be, and I’m afraid to turn… But I do anyways, and my fears are not unfounded as the car I saw just a week ago -you know? The one that belongs to her?- turns the street.

“No… No, no, no!” I shout, I run towards the street but I’m not able to find it at all, there is no sign of it. “Oh god… NO!” I pound my fist on the concrete, this isn’t some mild problem, this is some HOT sauce I’m in right now.

“What, what’s the matter, Pat!?” Pinkie asks me already in front of me.

“That car! That was her! Just now! I saw it when I was in Celestia’s office and just… Fuck!” I curse again, she might have been the culprit, or maybe not, but my chance is now gone if I don’t see her today. “Pinkie, you should have told us earlier! We would have been able to-”

“Woah there, Green, you know full well that this was an unknown factor, Trixie despises a man who pins the blame on others!” Trixie scolds… What does she know? She isn‘t the one trapped possibly forever.

“I-I’m sorry… I… I know! We can wait here!” Pinkie suggests in an attempt to make up for her mistake.

“We don’t know when she’ll return, Pinkie… It might be HOURS, hell, she might return until the morning, maybe she went out partying for the last time, or something,” Pinkie frowns and says no more. She knows I’m right.

“Perhaps Pinkie could call this… ‘Guy’ she has mentioned before, perhaps get a location?” Trixie suggests from the sidelines, with her phone in her ear.

“Oh, right! I can! Wait here!” she tells us and runs afar to make the call, while Trixie remains on her own phone, I stare intently wondering.

“What are you doing?” I ask confused.

“Calling Gran Gran. Seems to me like you two might follow Trixie’s suggestion and she will need a ride home,” she looks at what I can assess to be my bewildered look and she sighs. “Look, Trixie isn’t in honor classes for nothing, she has to keep up her grades if she is to continue her magical studies, and falling asleep in class won’t help her…” she gives me another quick glance and sighs. “Trixie doesn't wanna go, and Trixie isn't making a big deal out of this, soneither should you."

Well, I suppose that’s fair enough.

“Alright… We’ll tell you about it tomorrow, alright?” she nods once with some hesitance and leaves, probably heading to the entrance to wait. At least there wasn’t any unnecessary drama here, it’s the last thing I need.

"And, remind the Pink one to teach me the tricks tomorrow."

"Um, okay, got it."

"And... Take care, the both of you," and before I can say something sarcastic, she is gone... Was that the same Trixie?

“Got it! So I… Where is Trix?” Pinkie asks, coming back and looking for our missing party member who by now is gone.

“Gone. She doesn’t wanna miss school… And I suppose you probably don’t either,” I say. I can’t really screw with their sleep patterns, and much less their curfews and family being worried. “Let’s not forget this might be dangerous, we don’t know where she is heading after all.”

“Don’t you worry, Pat! Pinkie Pie can handle family, I can’t let you go alone, what kind of friend would do that?” sniff… I’m not crying, I have something in my eye!

“Ah, gotta love ya, Pinkie, you are the best!” I say, hugging the pink cutie. Not hard when she still looks like she does. She blushes as I 'do the do', but I don't care.

Affection.

“W-well, anyway, it turns out that she is downtown! Apparently went to some sort of… Oooooh,” Pinkie says looking at her phone in amazement.

“W-what?” I ask.

“Well, my guy says that she went to a club, in, one of the most dangerous parts of town.”

“Oh, which part?” I ask, fearful of what she might say.

"Everfree Street!"

...

It had to be named Everfree, didn’t it?

Author's Note:

Part 2 Up Tomorrow! EDIT: Or today??? EDIT: Tomorrow EDIT: OKAY, OKAY, IT'S UP GO READ IT, I don't like leaving people hanging.

Comments

[Nitrous Rainbows]

“Yay! Finally! I win this one! Pinkie one! Pat, fifty-eight!” she cheers happily, not noticing the fact that she has one fifty-eighth of the total number. The devil is in the details.

Dear Author,

NO!

That is not how ratios work.

Pinkie has one fifty-ninth of the total number because:
Pinkie has 1 point.
Pat has 58 points.
The total number is 58+1=59
1 / 59 = One fifty-ninth.
So Pinkie has one fifty-ninth of the total number and fifty-eight times less points than Pat.

Goddammit man. You should know this.

---

Rant over.

[Grassy Blade]

,

I take out my phone and see directions

wasnt lemon's phon taken away?

[Ditz]

7505232 Yes, but I do make a mention before this.

No computer access at all, even my phone was taken till today!