• Published 15th Sep 2013
  • 664 Views, 7 Comments

The Parade Incident - Fussan

What would happen if the CMC didn't get to Babs in time? What would happen if she was the one tumbling down the hill? What would happen if tragedy were to strike, and Ponyville is changed forever? Well, this will explain what would happen.

  • ...

The Parade Incident

They had spent all night working on it. They were tired, dirty, and they stunk of sweat and grease. But this was worth it. This was worth it a million times over.

They got up from the mattress that Babs had pushed them on to and looked on as she drove away with their parade float. The float that they had replaced their last one. The float that they had worked so hard to create. The float that was rigged to teach Babs a lesson for betraying them for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"That'll teach her to fool with the Cutie Mark Crusaders," Sweetie Belle spat out, shaking her hoof.

Her two friends, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom followed suit and both shook a hoof at the float.

"Y'all are lettin' Babs ride in yer golden apple float?" A voice asked.

The three young fillies turned to see Applejack holding three balloons tied to her hoof.

"Yeah," Apple Bloom smirked. "We thought she deserved to be the center of attention," she said darkly. Them all three fillies shared an evil chuckle.

Applejack smiled at them. "Well that's just super sweet of y'all, makin' Babs feel so special. Y'know, with all the heartache she's been havin' in Manehatten," Applejack said, her smile dying with her last statement.

The three youngsters's smiles died on their lips.

"Heartache?" Apple Bloom asked slowly.

"Well," Applejack said slowly, "I didn't say nothin' 'cause I didn't want her to feel singled out, but there have been some bullies back in Manehatten that have been teasin' her to pieces for her blank flank."

Their faces fell.

"T- teasin'...?" Apple Bloom stuttered.

"B- b- bullies...?" Sweetie Belle gasped.

Once they heard this, they felt ashamed of themselves. Even though Babs have tortured them, they were no better than her by doing this to her. The thought made them flatten their ears back and sink to the ground in shame.

"Yep," Applejack continued. "She came out to the farm to get away from all her problems back home," she told them as she tied one balloon to each one of them. Applejack looked down at them and smiled. "I'm so proud of y'all. Ya done a good deed!"

As Applejack trotted away and left the fillies alone, their balloons spontaneously deflated, reflecting their feelings.

"So that's why she jumped in when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started giving us a hard time..." Scootaloo said to her friends.

"She didn't want to be bullied like back home, so she decided to be a bully instead!" Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie gasped. "And now we've turned into bullies too!"

They all looked at the float they had created for the soul purpose of embarrassing Babs and paled. "What do we do?!" they yelled.

There was nothing else to do. Apple Bloom took off after the giant golden apple, galloping at top speed after it, her friends soon joining her in her pursuit. "We gotta stop that float!"

They weren't catching up to it. If anything, they were falling behind. Then Apple Bloom noticed her sister and her friends standing in the crowd and raced towards her.

Apple Bloom skid to a stop in front of her older sister. "Applejack, quick, you have to-" but she was interrupted by the marching band passing by them.

Applejack recoiled at the blaring of a horn near her. "Huh?"

"Quick, you have to help us!" Apple Bloom yelled.

But the tuba player passing by made it impossible to Applejack to understand her younger sister. "What?!"

Apple Bloom growled as she lost her patience. "We booby trapped it!" she screamed at her sister.

There was a short period of silence after her outburst.

"Babs! Bully! Payback!" Scootaloo yelled. "No time to explain, we just gotta get Babs outta that float!" she added, taking off at a gallop with her friends right behind her.

They galloped as fast as they could, passing up a large float on the road. They went fast, but the float that was next was too large for them to get by. So they left the road, weaving in and out of the crowd to get by. They pushed and they shoved their way through the crowd, making several onlookers drop their popcorn, and their drinks. They mumbled apologies and excuses at the angry ponies, but still pushed on. There was a break in the crowd, and they took the opportunity to break free from the confines for legs and fallen consumables. They saw the float that Babs was in nearing the edge of the cliff. But soon after, a float that looked like a giant head a lettuce drove by, with Pinkie Pie at the wheel.

Scootaloo got an idea, and chased after the float. Her friends followed, not sure what she was planning. Scootaloo soon caught up to the driver's window and called to the pink pony. "Pinkie Pie, let us in!" she yelled.

She seemed to consider the request. Then she burst out laughing. "Ha, haha, funny joke!"

"No really, let us in!" Apple Bloom shouted over the music.

"Oh!" Pinkie said in realization, then ran to the door and opened it. "Here." she said as a rope ladder tumbled out.

Scootaloo was the first one to climb in. But when she did, she was horrified. Pinkie was lounging on a couch in the back of the float, letting it run wild. She quickly galloped to the steering wheel, then used her skills at control and coordination to race past the other floats in the parade. She almost ran over a person or two, but she didn't care. She was pulling up right next to Babs, and nothing would stop her from getting her out of that float.

When Scootaloo got next to Babs's float, Apple Bloom leaned out of the driver's window and called to her. "Babs, you gotta get outta that float!" she screamed at her cousin.

Babs looked over to her cousin Apple Bloom with a smirk on her face. "You're not gettin' your float back, crybabies!"

"But it's booby trapped!" Sweetie Belle yelled out the window.

But Babs wasn't listening. She jerked the wheel to the side and rammed into them, causing them to veer off of the road.

"Veggie salad!" Pinkie yelled out.

"Huh?" all three fillies asked.

"Veggie salad!" she screamed again as the float crashed front first into a tree, completely destroying it.

There was a boom, and then everything was still.

The four of them lifted their heads, dizzy and disoriented, but still okay.

"Veggie salad," Pinkie said again, taking a bite of a leave from her now destroyed float.

The three fillies just looked at her blankly.

"Seriously?" Apple Bloom asked.

But there was no time to wait for an answer. They took off at a gallop, trying desperately to catch Babs. The timer was going to go off any second now, activation the trap they had installed in their float. As they were running, there was a loud ringing coming from inside the float. Soon after, it started swerving side to side, out of control. It hit a large parcel of straw, sending it flying towards them. They weaved low, avoiding it, but lost some ground on the float.

"Bail!" Apple Bloom yelled.

The float went speeding onward, breaking through the barrier made on the edge of the cliff.

"Bail!" Apple Bloom yelled again.

But Babs didn't bail. She was too bust trying to pull the steering wheel back into position to think about abandoning the float.

They were almost close enough to the door to jump inside and get her out. They only needed a few more feet, and they could make it.

The rock came out of nowhere. None of them saw it. Probably because they were so focused on Babs. But Scootaloo's front hoof caught the tip of it, causing her to tumble to the ground. And because Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were right behind her, they too went down.

Scootaloo was the first one up. She saw the door handle catch a bush and get torn open. She saw the terrified look on Babs's face. She saw Babs get thrown forward and slam her head on the steering wheel as the float hit a large rock.

The float practically flew off of the small outcropping at the bottom of the hill. It sailed through the air with something like grace. But as it hit the water, it sank like a rock. The heavy wooden beams that made up its frame weighed it down. So much so, that it stayed afloat for barely ten seconds before sinking to the bottom of the lake. Taking Babs with it.


The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat on the sofa in the farm house of Sweet Apple Acres. The radio was on, and they were listening to the news.

"And as the team of doctors examined the body, they knew that it was, fortunately, a painless death. There was blunt force trauma to the victim's head, causing her to be knocked unconscious. This saved the victim from having to suffer through the drowning. Thy are not sure as to how the float lost control like it did, but a private investigator has-"

Scootaloo turned the radio off. She didn't want to hear how she had murdered Babs. She, like her two friends, just wanted to suffer in silence. They knew what they had did. They didn't need to hear it from the newspony.

There were hoofsteps approaching them from the kitchen.

"Hey y'all," Applejack called to them. "How're ya holdin' up?" she asked softly.

None of them answered.

"So, still the same then..." Applejack sighed. "Listen, I know ya only did it 'cause you wanted to get back at her. Now, nopony else knows exactly what happened; they can only guess that y'all were involved somehow."

The three of them cringed.

"But Ah'll be damned before I let somepony take mah sister away from me," Applejack said darkly.

"W- what do ya mean?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Ah mean, I told the authorities that you were in no way involved with Babs's death. Now, because of me bein' the saviour of Equestria, and the Element of Honestly, an' all that, they took me at mah word. So y'all don't have to worry about bein' caught or found out."

"B- but we k- kill- killed her..." Sweetie sobbed.

"No y'all didn't!" Applejack snapped at her.

The sudden shout made Sweetie Belle flinch.

"Now," Applejack said slowly, "If y'all tell anypony what ya did, they'll take the three of ya away. An' I don't care what the three of ya did together. Mah sister ain't gettin' sent to prison." Applejack stood up tall and towered over her sister's friends. "If you two speak one word of this to anypony, and mah sister gets in trouble... Ah'll find ya, and Ah'll hurt you in ways you can't even imagine," she threatened.

The two fillies looked up at Applejack in horror. They had never seen her like this; only smiling, and friendly.

"Now y'all are gonna make a promise to me that ya won't say nothin'. And y'all are gonna stick to that promise fer the rest of yer lives. Understand?"

The two fillies only stared at her in fear.

"Say it," Applejack growled. "If ya don't, y'all are about to have an accident out in the far orchard. And trust me, nopony'll find yer bodies fer a good, long time."

"I- I promise not to tell anypony," Scootaloo said fearfully.

"I... I... I can't do this! I can't live a lie!" Sweetie screamed.

Applejack raised her hoof and struck Sweetie Belle across the face, knocking her senseless. "Ya better learn how!"

Sweetie hid her face in her hooves and started sobbing. "O- okay... I promise. I won't tell anypony."

Applejack smiled, looking like her old self again. "Well that's good. Now, I'm gonna make some dinner. Y'all are more than welcome to stay an' eat if ya want." She then trotted off in to the kitchen, ready to cook.

The three of them stayed there until dinner. Then when Applejack was finished in the kitchen, they ate. After dinner it was late, and Apple Bloom offered to let them sleep over. So after they washed up, they went in to Apple Bloom's small room and talked about what they did. They talked and talked until they were ready to pass out. Once they were ready, they all climbed in to Apple Bloom's bed and closed their eyes.

That night, they dreamed of Babs. Of how she bullied them. Of how they had gotten her back. Of how they had murdered her. But most of all, they dreamed of what Applejack might do to them if any of them spoke about what really happened.

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Comments ( 7 )

Sorry, but I cannot find a single redeeming factor in this story at all to spare it from a thumbs down. These are some wildly OOC events you've depicted to put it bluntly. Applejack covering up manslaughter (or should that be mareslaughter) of a relative? Lying to the authorities? Some Element of Honesty.

IMO the radio scene just... That did not seem like a news report on the radio at all. If I had been drawn into this fic (and I wasn't) that would have thrown me way out of it. It sounded more like a radio drama being read out than a news report.

And why a private investigator? Why not a police officer, sheriff, watchpony, royal guard scene of crime officer? If there is a Private Investigator there are logically Civil Investigators, who by all rights should in fact be in charge. If there is no civil investigative body (and why not?) then private is redundant.

Also, no one tried to go in the water? No one else was around to even try and save Babs? Rarity isn't around after these events involving her sister, or even their parents? This story just didn't really seem very coherent at all in those sorts of aspects.

Your characterisation, coherency, and the concept as a whole need work in my opinion.

I did enjoy this. It was a nice, dark twist.

The thing I enjoyed most was the dialogue aj gave them fillies. Straight up thug

3208826 Duly noted.

Well, that just happened


Rarity isn't around after these events involving her sister, or even their parents?

I see that you're one of the "Scootaloo is an orphan" theorists.
Also, this is supposed to be a dark story. That's why Applejack is covering up Babs' murder. Also, you don't have to always tell the truth to be honest. Nobody's perfect. None of the other Elements bearers are 100 percent. Besides, Applejack doesn't want her little sister to go to jail. It was an accident, the CMC didn't want to kill her, they wanted to embarrass her. It was all an accident, so I can understand Applejack covering it up.


Actually, quite the opposite, I prefer to think Scootaloo does have parents - And though admittedly I did mean "Rarity and Sweetie Belle" in the post, the "their parents" thing doesn't automatically disqualify Scootaloo from "them", does it? The question about where her parents are in all this, or even her caretakers if the orphan theory is followed, should rightfully be asked as well. In fact, most significantly of all, the same should be asked of Babs really.

Hey, since it's a fanfic, you can even include the Apple family parents in "them" until confirmed they're dead in this setting too. Or even regard Granny Smith as a parent - why's she not involved? Or Big Mac? It just raises further questions.

Trying to be dark isn't an excuse for all the questions that surround these events. Sure, maybe it makes some sense that AJ would want to spare her sister, but the facts remain she's taking all this far too well and jumping far too fast to 'coverup and threaten the other two witnesses', and that still doesn't cover the fact this whole approach has massive logical flaws. The lack of input from others at this stage exposes how large a problem there is - because either they've already spoke to other people or soon will, and what says those people won't push, prod, and pry the truth free? Babs must have had parents or caretakers who'll ask questions. Sweetie has parents and a sister. Scootaloo may have parents or caretakers too . The authorities should ask questions. Others would ask and pry. Someone died in suspicious circumstances. You don't just shrug and walk away.

All that this does is get AJ in jail as well for obstruction of justice and criminal conspiracy. Possibly even various charges of threatening violence. She's not just being dishonest, she's being a criminal, and it's a crime against her own family as well as all Equestria. And unlike the CMC, she wouldn't get any sort of leniency for age. In character, I think Applejack would be torn to shreds by this - which would make a far more interesting fic, really, but instead she's jumping to crime even though it makes no sense to do that, and is in fact arguably worse than the honest approach.

There's a difference between the character not being perfect and going wildly off course. This is wildly off course, way off her established character - and I'm sorry, but dark fic or not, there's not much of an excuse for this, it's not carte blanche to have events make no logical sense even within the context of a dark fic or AU. It also makes no sense under scrutiny and these events in universe would not last under scrutiny. All this does is make events worse when the truth comes out for no good reason. True, fear makes you do stupid things - but given that this jumper has so many loose threads to unravel, it's just plain crazy.

In short, "dark fic" doesn't excuse these faults, nor does "don't have to be honest all the time". All they do is underline why it makes no sense, or raise further questions.

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