Sweeping across all of Equestria is the new sport known as Wonderball. Earth ponies, unicorn ponies and pegasus ponies all compete in it together in two teams of six. There are three positions, each with their own special jobs. Movers, comprised of earth ponies, are the ones that drive the ball towards the goal. Snatchers, comprised of unicorns, use their magic to steal the ball from the opposing team. And bouncers, comprised of pegasus ponies, support the team both offensively and defensively by pushing opponents out of the way.
The first test tournament had just ended to great success, and now registration is open to all cities and towns across Equestria.
Rainbow Dash, having been captivated by the sport, wants to make an official Ponyville team. She gathers her friends and trains them into a team worthy of the grand championship. To win, they need to battle their way past several other up and coming stars as well as the teams from the first tournament. But nothing is going to stand in her way.
For victory, glory and, most of all, love of the game.
I totally like this story
uhm you have a mistake. its the "ot" i think its suppose to be "it"
also this:
Big McIntosh? well that's another typo..
NUUUUU DERPY ISH NOT ON THE TEAMMM WAIIIIIIIIII
why is there many errors.. whenever the said or any other thing that is the same thing like asked, shouted, etc. is on the beginning or on the middle like Pinkie said, "Woohoo!" and "Sample" Pinkie said, "sample"
you don't end it with full stops or periods instead you put commas so it should be written like this:
"Cloudchaser!" Rainbow Dash snapped, "What happened?"
Also, when its like this:
"I think we need to get a doctor," Fluttershy said, "cause you're really dizzy and in pain."
this one is the correct one but the wrong one is this:
"I think we need to get a doctor," Fluttershy said, "Cause you're really dizzy and in pain."
The first end was a comma so the other one's beginning should not be capitalized.
But nice story
So amazing how the show has pretty much made Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie naturals at a game sort of like this. I do think you may have tried to play up some of their clichés a little too much. With both Rarity and Fluttershy pretty much not participating in it.