After hearing rumors of an unexplored dungeon, Sarikasin and Lutano decide to try and find it before anyone else can clean it out of any decent loot. Unfortunately upon stepping into a portal to travel to the area it was rumored to be in, the portal is thrown off and they find themselves in an entirely new world.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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ummm look through this and tell me the one and only GLARING problem this has. Note: it doubles itself
Where the two encounter Celestia for the first time, the line "If you do not allow us to leave, I will pour every last bit of my ma" before it starts from the beginning again. Looks extremely promising.
Wow.... I read through and found the spot.... and have no freaking idea how it got there... I'll go back and edit it... I was so happy my first chapter was 4k words and now I am going to be removing half of them lol.
well with the antics me and Mori do it isn't much of a surprise that this could happen this way. I just can't wait for how Mori words the rest of the story. (I am waiting for you to get on btw)
3065783
Oh could you send me my side of that picture while I think about it. Nobody will believe me if I said I was the Pink shadowknight.
This is actually quite good, well written. Looking forward to more!
MY FIREWORKS MADE IT!!!
I can't help but feel that this is moving too slowly. It was originally started just as a comedy story idea with no real plot but even adding one when I started the actual typing I can't believe how little I have actually put in yet. Should pick up quite a bit in the next chapter or two though.
I was thinking this chapter would come out later than 1 or 2 day.
So was I lol. But I was hit with the need to type last night and put in almost all 2k of the words in just a couple of hours.
I really like where this is heading. Looking forward to more!
Not exactly the way I wanted to end the chapter but I got tired of writer's block keeping me from adding the chapter when I was already at the end of it pretty much.
This story deserves more likes than it has. I am quite intrigued by this and eagerly look forward to more.
3367118 I'm just happy it has more than the person I am writing this for watching it. I personally don't see my stories as worth reading, but that may just be because I am writing it so know everything about it already.
You know Rarity will want us to come to her in turns to get things out of the way faster. Or we stay in the entry area.
Why did you not text me? I got so excited about a comment only to end in disappointment, and yes I know. lol
Things are starting to get interesting now...
It's a great story, just hope to see more of it.