• Published 6th Aug 2013
  • 1,109 Views, 33 Comments

What is loss? - auramane

Applejack likes Rainbow Dash. But does Dash even notice her? Maybe Dash only has eyes for somepony else.

  • ...



Big Mac watched as his sister trudged back into the farmhouse with a weary look on her face. He hadn’t seen her all morning, and it looked like he wouldn’t be seeing her for the rest of the day. He sighed and began to pull the plough again. What is it with her? I’ve never seen her act like this. Still thinking as he pulled the plough, he failed to notice his other sister calling for him

“Big Mac? Hey, Mac!” called Apple Bloom, jumping up and down in front of him.

“Huh?” Big Mac blinked. “What is it Apple Bloom? Can’t ya see ah’m busy?”


“Urrgh.” Mac rolled his eyes and sighed. “Never mind. What’s up”

“Ah think something’s wrong with Applejack. Ah met her when she was walking and she’s usually nice and she asks me how Ah’m doin’ an stuff but this time she just kept talkin’ to herself and whenever I said somethin’ she just told me to be quiet and started mutterin' to herself again.” Applebloom took a large breath but before she could say anything Big Mac silenced her with a hoof to her mouth.

“Ah know. She’s just a bit outa sorts. Give her some time and Ah’m sure that she’ll be back ta normal.”

“Granny said she was pining. What does that mean?” asked Apple bloom with curiosity in her eyes.

“Uhh… Ah, uhh, don’t rightly know Apple Bloom. M-maybe ya should ask granny.”

“Ah already did, but she told me ta ask you, cause she said you was pining after that mare with the orange mane. What’s her name? uhh… Carrot Top. Yeah.”

“She said that?” he gasped, blushing furiously, though you’d never be able to tell by looking at him.

“Yeah,” said Apple Bloom blythely, with an innocence that could only be born of not knowing what she was talking about.
“W-well, Ah’m still not sure what she means,” he huffed unconvincingly.
Apple Bloom frowned. “Are you lying? Yer not too good at lyin’ Mac. Not as bad as Applejack but still. Come on Mac, please tell me.”

“No Apple Bloom,” he said, ruffling her mane with his hoof, “you’re too young ta be worrying ‘bout that stuff.”

“Everypony says Ah’m too young fer everything,” grumbled Apple Bloom.

“Look, Apple Bloom,” sighed Mac, “I know you’re curious but some things just aren’t for you. Applejack’ll sort herself out on her own.” At least I hope she does. “Now go on, go play with yer friends, Ah’ve gotta finish this field or Granny will have my hide fer sure.”

Apple Bloom nodded and trotted off towards the direction of the clubhouse.

Well, that was… interesting. And how did Granny know about Carrot Top? Did Applejack tell her? Shaking his head he went back to ploughing the field. If Applejack doesn’t want help with this, then there’s nothin’ I can do. Hopefully she’s learned some lessons about her stubbornness.

Applejack walked slowly up the stairs, her head hung in shame.

What kind of friend am Ah? Ah… Ah was happy when Ah thought Twilight rejected her.

I told you, she doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are happy. You had every right to be happy when you thought she rejected her.

She does matter! And no, Ah have no right to feel this way when something like this happens to somepony.

You and your damned sense of honour.

Last time Ah checked, you were me, so isn’t it your ‘damned sense of honour’ too?

Yes, but I’m the part of you that doesn’t care about honour. You could say I’m your dark side.

Mah dark side?

The Elements of Harmony are meant to be paragons of their respective virtues, right? Well, you’ve been lying to yourself and others so much that your element is rebelling against you. It’s trying to cut out the dishonest part of you. Unfortunately for you, this results in something of a split personality.


Urrgh. I am the bad part of you, the part that grows when you lie or hide the truth or otherwise go against your virtue.

So… Ah just need to be honest again and you’ll go away? Shouldn’t be too hard.

Yes, that is all you need to do… But doing that does involve explaining to everyone how you feel, including Rainbow. Everything that you’ve been lying to yourself and others about for weeks.

But… Everything?

Oh yes, which is why I know I’m going to be here for a while. You are too damn selfless to risk hurting anypony else, even for your own benefit. So I know you’ll never tell Rainbow Dash or Twilight anything. You’ll be stuck with me for quite a while. Heh heh, this is going to be fun.

How do you know that? You’re me and I have barely any idea what yer talkin about.

I was created by the elements, of course I know where I came from.

But that don’t make a lick of sense. When a foal is born, it has no idea where it came from, and nothing else does either. Why are you different?

Well, I was created by magic you know.

You’re still not making any sense.

Well, too bad for you, there is no reason for me to tell you anything

Applejack groaned. She was going completely insane. She was having an argument with a voice in her head. Where did this come from? Maybe the voice in her head was telling the truth… No! The elements would never create something like this. She sighed and climbed onto her bed. Moping around now was not going to help anything

“Twilight? Hello, anyone home? TWILIGHT!” yelled Spike as he waved his arm around in front of her face. “Come on, get up.” Twilight blinked, coming out of her thoughts for the first time in hours.

“Huh? Spike what are you doing here? You’re not meant to be back from helping Rarity until this evening.”

“Uhh… Twilight…” said Spike. “I think you should look at the clock”

“What?” She looked over to the clock. “Arrgh! I’ve been lying here for hours!” Her stomach growled at this point. Twilight grinned sheepishly. “I think I may have skipped lunch.” Her stomach growled again and she grimaced. “And dinner.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’ll make you something. Just go and get cleaned up first, you look a mess.

Twilight looked over at spike gratefully. “Thank you Spike. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” With that she turned and walked up the stairs to her bathroom. When she got in and saw herself in the mirror she smiled. Rarity would have a fit if she saw my mane like this. Using her magic, she picked up her brush and ran it through her mane. Ugh, after all that time thinking, I’m still no closer to an answer. I don’t want to hurt Rainbow, but I’m not sure if I can really go through with it.

She sighed, looking at the mirror thoughtfully. Do I… Do I like Rainbow like that? I don’t know. She ground her teeth in frustration. I do enjoy spending time with her but that’s normal. She’s my friend. I was disappointed when she stopped coming around but that doesn’t mean anything… right? Twilight groaned and banged her head into the sink with a dull thunk. When does a friend become… more? I don’t kno-

“TWILIGHT!” called Spike. “Come on, food’s done.”

“OK, one minute Spike,” called Twilight. Well I’m not getting anywhere with this and I doubt my stomach is helping much with that. With that , she walked down the stairs toward the delicious smell wafting out of the kitchen. “Ooh, what did you make.”

“Oh, nothing much, just a quiche.”

“JUST a quiche!? But quiches take more than an hour to make. How did you do it?”

“Now Twilight,” said Spike in a playful tone, “you know a true magician never reveals his secrets.” He laughed at the even more confused look on Twilights face. “Nah, I just heated some leftovers up from last time you had everyone over. Dragon fire has some advantages.”

“You can say that again.” With that Twilight started tearing into her dinner ravenously.


“Mmph?” murmured Twilight, her mouth full of food.

“What were you thinking about before I got here?”

“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing important,” mumbled Twilight.

“Well it was important enough for you to sit down and think about it all day without eating. It has to be something important. I don’t remember the last time I saw you acting like this.”

“Yes… Well, uhh, it shouldn’t worry you Spike, it’s something personal and I’ll just have to figure it out for myself.”

“Hmm...” said spike thoughtfully. “Well, who’s the lucky guy then?”

“Whaah?” yelped Twilight, spitting out her food. “How did yo-, I mean, uhh, w-what would give you that idea?”

Spike gaped. “Uhh… I was joking.” His face lit up. “Well, who is it then? Is it Time turner? He’s like, the only guy in this town who can keep up with you.” Twilight groaned and let her head fall to the table. Spike prattled on seemingly oblivious to Twilights discomfort.. “Or is it Davenport? He’s always nice to you when you go to his shop, or is it… uhh… maybe it’s-”

“Spike, it’s not like that,” cut in Twilight. “It’s… more complicated than that.”

“Oh… Is it a mare?”

“No! Well yes, but that’s not the problem.”

“Okay, so what is it?”

“Uh, well, you see, Rainbow Dash kinda confessed that she has a crush on me..” said Twilight, trailing off as she reached the end of her sentence.

“Spike’s eyes widened in surprise. “Rainbow Dash?”

“Yes,” confirmed Twilight with a nod.

“Well, what are you gonna say to her?”

“I don’t know,” groaned Twilight. “I have no idea what to do. I think… I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to hurt her but I honestly don’t know how I feel about her.”

"Is there anyone you can talk to? I mean you could send a letter to the Princess or something," ventured Spike.

"Spike," sighed Twilight, "this is something I have to figure out on my own. This is too personal to share with the Princess."

"Why don't you ask some of your friends then? I mean Rarity's actually been with someone before, you could ask her what to do."

"I don't know... I still think I should keep this quiet."

"And if you don't get advice you are going to be stuck in here moping for days."

"I wasn't moping," muttered Twilight. "Fine I'll talk to Rarity tomorrow. Just please don't tell anyone else, OK?"

"Sure," said Spike, nodding in satisfaction.

"Well," yawned Twilight, "it's late and it's been a long day. Let's go hit the hay."

"Aww! But I'm not tired?" moaned Spike.

"Yes, well I am and you are not staying up later than me again," said Twilight with a grin.

"Look, I didn't mean to eat all the ice cream, it just sort of happened."

"Yeah, sure. Come on, up to bed." She shepherded Spike up the steps, smiling at his quit grumblings. This'll all be clearer tomorrow, she decided. I'll talk to Rarity and I'll fix this whole mess.

Rainbow Dash lay on her back, looking towards the ceiling of her bedroom. Her eyes were sore and bloodshot from her crying earlier, but now she felt more angry than annoyed. She hadn’t cried since she was a filly. “Come on Rainbow, this isn’t the first time you’ve been rejected, why is this one so bad? I haven’t cried like that in years.” And now everypony had seen her.

She threw her face into her pillow, letting out a muffled scream of frustration. She couldn’t even have waited until she was at home before she broke down, no, she had to do it right in the middle of town. She had heard Applejack calling her. She hoped she hadn’t seen her though she probably had.

Rainbow Dash groaned. “Why did this have to happen to me? I’m Rainbow Dash, I’m meant to be tough and fearless, not all sappy and lovey-dovey. I’m not meant to go flying off the handle when I get rejected by somepony.” Yeah, and I probably shouldn’t have a crush on one of my best friends either.

Rainbow absent-mindedly looked over to the clock on her wall and cringed when she saw how long she’d been lying there moping. Laboriously she climbed up from the bed and wriggled under the covers. Usually she would be starving by now but she just had no appetite after today. Besides, she wasn’t even sure if she had any food. She’d have to get some tomorrow.

Yawning she burrowed deeper under the covers, waiting for sleep to take her.

Author's Note:

Sorry I took so long, I was doing a lot of cool stuff with The Lunar Samurai (you should check out his stuff, He completed oneshotober and most of his stuff is pretty good).
Well, see you guys later, and I hope you enjoyed.

Comments ( 3 )

So the story was of to a rough start in the beginning, but it improved a lot. :pinkiehappy:
The setting for the story is interesting, Twidash fic through AJ's eyes. :pinkiesmile:

Now to some stuff:
A) All chapters need cleaning up. Lots of punctuation mistakes (mostly too many or too less commas). :pinkiesick:
B) There are also some grammar mistakes. Just throw it at some proofreader's face, he'll fix then problem A) and B). :rainbowwild:
C) You change reappearing things like names sometimes. (Like BigIntosh and later Big Macintosh) :twilightsheepish:
D) This is mainly just personal opinions and taste, so:
D.1) In chapter 3 you mention the Philharmonica Family and right after Lyra's family. Mention Lyra's family as well by the family name, due to it bieng on the same level as Philharmonica. I hope you see my point. :twilightsmile:
D.2) and this is something, every writer will tell you something different. Try to add more spaces with lines, it gives the story more structure and makes it easier to read, in MY OPINION. :twilightsheepish:

Finally got around to reading this, although I should of read this sooner. :ajsleepy:

Anyway, this story has a nice premise going for it, and I find it very interesting. I've never seen quite a story layered like this before, with AJ on the outside with Twidash potentially happening in the thick of things.

I'll patiently be waiting for the next installment for this story. Take your time Jack, I'm sure it'll be good when you get it out. :pinkiehappy:

P.S. If you'd like some help for pre-reading this story I'd be happy to help. I'm not a pre-reader on a regular basis, but I've done it before. Besides, you're helping me, it's the least I could do. :twilightsmile:

Just got into thiz today, and read the whole thing, I think you did very well for not having a proofreader. As stated above this does need a bit of work, ut I cant say anything, im never gonna use an editor. Can't wait for the update! Take your time though. Rushing is bad, trust me

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