Snowed Into Carousel Boutique

On a cold day in Ponyville, Fluttershy is visiting Rarity at Carousel Boutique to help her take care of Opal, but they end up getting snowed in.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

SpaceCommie

SpaceCommie #1 · Jul 27th, 2013 · · ·

Meh. Way too little build-up for something that important.

Nightsflash

Nightsflash #2 · Jul 27th, 2013 · · ·

2946647 have to agree on that..

though the idea and general setup of the story are promising.. but there seems to be some explanations missing (eg. the dropping temperature despite rarity apparently keeping the room warm at all the other times; or I just read over it..)

I'd say 3/5 for this story because of the meagre build-up

SpaceCommie

SpaceCommie #3 · Jul 28th, 2013 · · ·

On the plus side, the premise and your cover art are adorable.

Twilight-the-Pony

Twilight-the-Pony #4 · Aug 3rd, 2013 · · ·

I like the premise of the story... But the story itself is too jumpy and relies on reader's imagination to make insanely huge leaps.

Temperature dropping for like 55 degrees? Pegasi causing a cold winter in the middle of the summer? I'm sure that they can goof up here and there, but a leap like that would require Discord's help.
Protip: When you write stories; try to keep them realistic... They have far more impact on the reader that the one that relies on physical imposibilities and insanely good stretches of imagination...

Rapidpaw